Unfortunately For Everyone Who May Try To Double Cross Us I Am One Of Them. - Tumblr Posts

I feel like it isn't talked about enough how traumatizing growing up with intermittent explosive disorder is. I've had this self image of monstrousness metaphorically beaten into me from a very young age, constantly told that it's all my fault if things escalate from somebody triggering my anger, how I just don't have enough control over my emotions and that's the only issue. Never mind the shit people expect me to just take and accept, it's MY fault if I explode because apparently my needs and feelings don't matter at all.

And then I'M the one who has to apologize for hurting the other party's feelings, as if that crime wasn't committed by them onto me as well. I won't apologize to someone who isn't remorseful for hurting me, I don't care how much I hurt them in return. You backed the coyote into a corner and get surprised when it attacks. My ability to not accept bullshit anymore has been labeled as 'going backwards in recovery' because that 'recovery' was just being told to bottle up everything and walk on eggshells, and I'll be damned if I'm going to do that anymore.