Villain Of The Week - Tumblr Posts

Prompt 7

Villain of the week captures Jaskier and Geralt and either uses a potion or spell or curse of some sort to revert Geralt down to nothing but baser wolfy instincts, perhaps while saying a snarky quip to Jaskier about "finally seeing what a monster the witcher is", only to get blindsided by InstinctsOnly!Geralt just going CUDDLECRAZY over his bard. Kisses, licks, hugs, snuggles, nuzzling, the whole shabang. ♡!Optional addons!♡ • Obligatory "perhaps things get spicier than just cuddles"

• The captor tries to separate them and/or harms Jaskier and Geralt casually proves he doesn't need his swords to kill

• This all happens pre-slash, and Jaskier is stunned at Geralt's behavior, but suspects it's just the instincts and Geralt doesn't truly like him nearly this much (Geralt has to tell him how wrong he is after they're safe, of course) ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

PISSING AND SHITTING ON THE FLOOR @araglas1989 found a pre-existing fic that ticks almost all the boxes! I'd still love to see someone write this prompt, but if you're a fellow reader like I, feel free to give this one a try! by leodesic on AO3

Prompt 26

Jaskier has been recognized as the runaway viscount of lettenhove by a band of bandits. Embarrassingly, they seemed to have found him in the midst of buying a personalized gift addressed "To My Beloved." Perhaps a hairclip shaped like a dandelion, or perhaps an embroidered handkerchief, or something else dainty and delightful. The bandits drag Jaskier away for ransom, even as he tries futilely to explain that his lover will NOT be polite to them if they continue down this road. I mean, whatever fancy shmancy noblewoman whose skirt he's chasing can't be that threatening to their operation, right? They write up a ransom note, intending on sending it along with a lock of Jaskier's hair, and a few drops of his blood to show they're serious. They slice across Jaskier's wrist, but there's much much much more blood than they expected, because the man slicing his wrist is suddenly missing his head. Huh. Perhaps they've underestimated Jaskier's beloved. He did try to warn them.

Prompt 38

Jaskier has kept a secret for years. The ring with dandelions carved into it that he wears every second of every day is the only thing keeping him from turning into ash. He sleeps with a lovely woman one night, desperately trying to move on from Geralt (it doesn't work, he is still very much in love with his best friend) only to awake in the morning and find- FUCK She stole his ring! That conniving little-! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! What does he do!? He races to the mirror and it confirms his worst fear. The glamour the ring gives him is gone. He can't see his reflection. He reaches a hand up to his mouth and feels his fangs. No- Nonono! Then his worst fucking nightmare ON TOP of his worst nightmare happens. He hears the stomping footsteps of a witcher approaching their room. Godsdamn it all. He hears the doorknob jiggle and.. Alright, he'll be the first to admit it, he panics. "DON'T COME IN, GERALT" The doorknob jiggling pauses. "Jaskier? Are you alright?" "Y- YES! Perfectly peachy! Don't come in!" Jaskier rushes around the room, pacing in panicked circles like a caged beast. He was a caged beast. He reaches to close the curtains of the only window in the room and like an idiot, he fumbles in place and ends up with his hand in the direct sunlight. He shrieks in pain and holds his hand to his chest. Geralt, scenting agony and hearing Jaskier yell, barges in without another moment of thought. Only to see Jaskier scrambling away from him in fear. In all his years of knowing Jaskier, he has NEVER been afraid of him. It physically pains Geralt to see it now. He doesn't understand why he wasn't allowed in. There's no lover of Jaskier's hiding in a corner embarrassed at being caught, Jaskier isn't indecent or anything, so why-? Then he looks at Jaskier, truly looks at him, and sees his blue eyes are glowing, and his mouth - Parted open as he pants - reveals fangs. Geralt's eyes dart to Jaskier's neck and it's confirmed. The worst part of it all, is the way Jaskier's eyes keep glancing between the door out of the room, and Geralt's silver sword. Geralt is infuriated. Not only did the woman Jaskier take to bed last night turn Jaskier into a vampire, but she also made Jaskier fear Geralt because of it. When Geralt says he isn't going to harm (let alone KILL like Jaskier had feared) Jaskier for the twentieth time, Jaskier finally believes him, and begs him to help him track the woman down. Geralt is intent on killing the vampire that ruined poor young human Jaskier's life. Jaskier is intent on getting his human-glamour, sunlight-immunity-enchantment ring back from this human he slept with, so he can go back to pretending he's human, like he has been doing for the past hundred or so years.

Prompt 41

A mage (yes I know I love making mage villains of the week, but if they didn't want me to make them all the time, they shouldn't be so fun and full of opportunities) puts a spell on Geralt while he's on a hunt. He can only speak lies / the complete opposite of what he feels or means to say, and the only way to break the spell is to reveal his darkest secret. This is all well and good and easily fixable, presumably. The best part is Jaskier has caught on near immediately to what the curse is, and is able to translate all of Geralt's lies and antonyms. "I don't need more supplies for potions." "We'll go looking for a greenhouse or whatever you need, then." "I hate this song." "Why thank you, Geralt! How lovely to know that opinion is a lie!" "Can I braid your hair again?" "Never." "Perfect!~" Except for the times he pretends to forget the curse's existence. "Feed Roach all the apples you want." "Oh, I shall! Thank you for the permission!" He did not give permission. Geralt just deals with the curse for a month or two, before being fed up and deciding to just trust the mage's so-called cure for the curse, and says his darkest secret. That he's in love with Jaskier. However, he's neglected to find a way to explain the cure to Jaskier, and now Jaskier just assumes he's heard another lie / complete opposite. Jaskier is heartbroken, assuming Geralt must dislike him at the least, and hate him at the worst, and suddenly all those teasing comments over the years are seen in a new worrying light. I mean, Geralt, cursed to say the exact opposite of what he means telling Jaskier that he loves him? Jaskier races away from their shared room and gets absolutely wasted in a tavern all the way across town. Geralt paces and panics alone in their shared room for a few hours before going and returning his bard back home. He now has to spend the entire night internally-writing and rehearsing his big explanation speech and apologize to his bard for the miscommunication.

Prompt 62

After multiple run-ins with sirens and similar creatures, a town has outlawed music, and finds bards to be the spawns of the (metaphorical) devil. Geralt and Jaskier ride into a small rural town, and Geralt tells Jaskier to find them a room and stay in it while he goes on a hunt. Jaskier decides to try and earn them more money by performing! Thus Geralt comes back from his hunt only to hear his bard is about to be executed, and must race to save him. Jaskier is just surprised this is only the second worst reception he's gotten to performing in a backwater town.

Prompt 113

"And I was thinking-" "Oh yes. I understand." "Mhm." "Which one?" "..." "You're right, that one IS better." "Do you know what I'm thinking?" "Of course I do." Geralt and Jaskier had conversations like these ALL the time. How could you not when you were as close as they were? Jaskier knew when Geralt's eyes did that one specific narrow and eyebrow raise routine that Geralt was judging someone nearby, it was silent gossip! And he knows that when Geralt rolls his eyes but his mouth quirks a little to the left side that Geralt is "reluctantly" allowing Jaskier to buy frivolous things with their money. Geralt knows that when Jaskier starts rambling softer that he's already made a decision and is just unsure of it, which means that Geralt just has to nod or shake his head in either approval or disapproval, and that's it. Geralt also knows the specific hand-through-hair onto hands on hips onto sleeve fidget that means Jaskier is well and truly frustrated or worried. Just one of them is fine, two in a row is worrying in some contexts, all three and Geralt's alarm bells ring. Unfortunately, it appears that not everyone has been close enough to someone to learn how to read them so efficiently as they both had. For they were both currently kidnapped and held hostage by a man who desperately wants to harness their alleged ability to speak to each other telepathically.

Prompt 120

PROMPTAPALOOZA BEGINS... In place of August Eighth, Prompt 1/??? lol I'll check later 10-ish prompts from my promptapalooza backlogs are smacking you in the face today! From 120-130! Special thanks to @bakewrite for being so supportive of me, especially during the makings of promptapalooza :) Geralt hates fighting sorceresses. He hates it even more when he has to do so with Jaskier nearby. "Jaskier, I told you to fucking run!" He growls at the bard in between slashes of his sword, and the wretched woman he's fighting raises up in interest. "Oh?" She coos, and slaps a hand onto Geralt's head, and then everything goes dark. Jaskier watches in horror as some sort of magical scary witchy blast shoots into Geralt's fucking head, and alright, maybe he screams a little, but she already knew he was there so it's not like he gave away his position! Geralt falls to the ground, and the sorceress turns to look at Jaskier with an ominous grin. "Do you like it? It's my favorite one to cast... But I thought it could never work on a Witcher. They've no feelings." "Why, you-" "Hush, bard. I know now that I was wrong. That's why I'm so excited." Jaskier glances between her and Geralt repeatedly, before doing what Geralt always tells him NOT to do, he walks closer. "What have you done to him?" "A spell that makes him kill who he loves most. And if someone were to stop him from doing so, they'll be killed too. I, personally, am hoping for a violent breakdown after he realizes what he's done. Perhaps he'll go on another rampage like in Blav-" "That's not what happened!" "Tsk tsk. You're spending too much time defending your Witcher and not nearly enough time running, Bard." And with that, she disappears in a cloud of smoke. Jaskier frantically inspects Geralt. He's relatively uninjured, thank meletele- Geralt's eyes suddenly snap open, and he grabs Jaskier's wrist in a bruising grip. "Aow- Geralt-" Jaskier cries out in confusion, before remembering what the sorceress said. His eyes widen and he desperately tries to distance himself from Geralt, but he won't let go of his wrist. "Geralt- Geralt, please stop! It hurts! Geralt, come on! Snap out of it!" Jaskier pleads, but Geralt won't let go, and the grip is getting tighter. Jaskier hears something snap before he feels any pain, and he panics. He lifts a leg and kicks Geralt in the face. Geralt lets go with a snarl, and Jaskier runs to Roach. Jaskier knows there's no way he can outrun Geralt, but if he takes their horse, he just might be able to put enough distance in between them for him to figure out how to heal Geralt before Geralt snaps any more bones. He looks down at the hand with the injured wrist and sighs. No lute for a while, he supposes. No matter. Geralt is more important.