Requited Unrequited Love - Tumblr Posts

When Jaskier's angry or upset, it's always "Don't touch me!" "Get away!" "Hands off!" And then the bard will be gone for hours or days until he calms down.

Now, Geralt understands this kind of reaction. He himself doesn't want to talk to/be around others when he's angry. Much less let anyone touch him. The thing is...Jaskier acting that way never fails to make Geralt feel like shit. Jaskier is usually so affectionate that the sudden cut off is jarring. The first few times it happened, Geralt had been sure that Jaskier was fed up with him and leaving for good.

However, Jaskier always returns. They make amends, and the bard resumes his touchy, affectionate ways.

One day though, they have their worst argument yet. And although he had always come back before, Geralt is certain that this is the time Jaskier will leave forever. If Jaskier walks out that door, Geralt is sure he will never see him again.

So, unthinkingly, Geralt catches the bard's wrist.

Jaskier's eyes widen, panic replaces anger. "Geralt! Let me go! Let me go right now!"

Geralt loosens his grip reflexively in response to Jaskier's panic. Did the bard think the witcher would force him to stay?

He opens his mouth to try to explain.

Only, the world is...spinning? And Geralt's tongue is heavy. And everything is warm. Oh, he feels like he’s going to hurl.

Then, he passes out.

An unknown amount of time later, Geralt wakes. He feels kind of hungover but is otherwise fine. To his relief, Jaskier is sitting at his bedside.

When the bard notices Geralt is awake, he inquires after his health. At Geralt's reassurance that he is fine, Jaskier launched into a tirade about the number of times he had told Geralt "NOT TO TOUCH ME WHEN I’M MAD! AND THAT INCLUDES RIGHT NOW, YOU SCARED ME HALF TO DEATH, YOU BASTARD!!!"

Geralt is a bit confused about how Jaskier being mad and his fainting spell are connected.

Two things are revealed:

1) Jaskier is part fae.

2) Some fae become toxic to touch when they are angry or upset. It is a magical trait, so it fades when the anger does. However, it can still be deadly.

This puts some things into perspective. Like how Jaskier, who seems to feel entitled to his emotions/reactions no matter how inappropriate they may be, is very skilled at cooling his temper. Or how, when he does become angry, he chooses verbal slander over physical violence. Or how when there IS a physical fight Jaskier wraps his hands in cloth and tries to use blunt instruments.

Bonus: Geralt tells all of the witchers not to touch Jaskier when he's mad, and Lambert takes that as a challenge.

I LOVE THIS!!!!!! OH MY GOODDDDDD!!! You take the things we spoke about and add onto it like putting glitter on a macaroni art craft, it's beautiful, It's so beautiful, oh my god! Poor Geralt thought his bard was leaving and poor Jaskier has to watch his stupid idiot Witcher touch him, gAH I love it! I want to read a 5k oneshot about it

PROMPT HEAVY ANGST GERASKIER - The djin fulfills Geralt's last wish. A wish that the witcher didn't know he had, and that was thrown into a mountain. The djin understands that he has to get rid of the bard, as his master asked.

The prompt is simple… Geralt didn't know, but there was one more wish remaining from the djin. And when he says all that to Jaskier on the mountain… the djin fulfills his wish. Jaskier is now dying… because the djin understands the witcher wanted to get rid of the bard. Jaskier meets Yennefer who soon tells him why he has been feeling increasingly ill. She doesn't know that the wish comes from Geralt, despite knowing that it comes from a djin. Jaskier lies… says it was someone who didn't like him. When everything is happening, and they are finally in Kaer Mohen after Violet Meir's attack, Jaskier's condition begins to worsen… I think about Jaskier gradually getting sick. First, he starts vomiting what he eats and drinks. And he's been eating and drinking a lot, since nothing stays in his stomach. He hears Lambert joke about it… that he ends up being a liability there. He tries to eat less, starting to drink more… even though the nausea gets worse as a result. He doesn't want to be another bother on Geralt's shoulders. And then, he starts vomiting blood. Even feeling the blood in his lungs when he breathes. Remembering that under the power of the djin, he does not smell of illness or magic… but his physical condition visually worsens. Even the vomit and blood, Jaskier tries to hide it any way he can. Jaskier really believes the words Geralt said to him on the mountain, and feels increasingly worse, even more so when the witcher finds himself very busy and worried about his new family. When Yennefer says she needs to know who launched the request to help him, Jaskier refuses to say (he wants to protect Geralt). She says they are running out of time and Jaskier notices this when he starts to feel terrible pain and vomit blood frequently. Yennefer threatens that she will ask the witcher for help, but Jaskier begs her not to… she says she will try to find another way to cure him… (she cannot read Jaskier's mind as he is under the djinn's power) … But she doesn't guarantee that she can. Jaskier reaches his limit, passing out after vomiting a lot, in the middle of a party when he is left alone, while everyone celebrates. Except Yennefer, who is always worried, finds him lying in a hall… Geralt finds them after following the nauseating smell of blood. ''Jaskier… what?'', he looks at Yennefer's tearful face. ''Let's get him to bed,'' she says. ''I need to talk about Jaskier's illness''. She tells everything about what has been happening. Leaving the wish part for last, even if she doesn't know who did it. The panic on the witcher's face is palpable when he hears about the djin and Jaskier's refusal to say who made the request. ''Geralt, what's wrong?'', she asks. ''Shit, I…'' he says. ''Geralt…?'', Yennefer asks again. But Jaskier starts to faint in front of them both.

@oonoturna feeding us again, yumyumyumyumyum delicioso! I LOVE this!! LOVE THIS!!! I need this as a fic NOWWWWW!!!

Eskel noted Geralt’s scent on the crossroads. There wasn’t a lot of overlap in their paths (with so few witchers left, the priority was to cover as much ground as possible, not seek company), but Eskel had chased a creature much farther west than he usually went.

After a long, difficult hunt, Eskel decided he deserved to spend a night in his brother’s company.

Only, as he’s following Geralt’s scent trail, he hears an unfamiliar voice. The voice is in the same direction as Geralt’s scent. But Geralt didn’t take people on hunts, did he?

Eskel finds the source of the voice at what could only be Geralt’s camp. A man in a multi-colored, unbuttoned doublet is cooing and chatting at Roach. Who, amazingly, tolerates the noise. She’s also letting the man braid her mane.

What the fuck?

Scorpion, having recognized Roach, announced their presence with a neigh. The noise startled the colorful man. The man spun on his heel, fumbling to pull out a knife at his waist.

That knife…that was a Kaer Morhen blade!

Upon getting a good look at Eskel, the colorful man relaxed and sheathed his blade.

“You witchers, always sneaking up on poor bards. I swear, one of you shall startle me into a heart attack one day.”

Though he griped, the colorful man looked cheerful as he approached and held out his hand.

“Jaskier the bard, master of the seven liberal arts, at your service. Who might you be, sir Witcher?”

He was baffled by the man’s sunny, fearless attitude, but he took the hand, saying, “Eskel of the wolf school.”

“How delightful! Do you know Geralt?”

“We consider each other brothers.”

“And yet he never mentioned you. That man,” Jaskier tsked, “He never tells me anything!

“If it’s any consolation, he doesn’t tell us much either.”

Jaskier went on to tell Eskel that Geralt was out hunting and would be back soon. The bard invited Eskel to make himself at home and join him by the fire. They simply must become acquainted!

As Jaskier went on, Eskel got a good whiff of his scent. It was familiar to him. It was something that hung on Geralt when he returned from the path. Not to mention, Geralt’s scent was all over this man.

Given all of these signs, Eskel could only come to one conclusion: this was Geralt’s secret lover. The only thing that could make it more obvious would be if they exchanged medallions, which was impossible because this man wasn’t a witcher.

Eskel wasn’t surprised that Geralt kept his lover a secret. He had always been a bit territorial. And getting personal details out of Geralt was like trying to pry an alligator’s mouth open.

How lucky he was to encounter Jaskier! They could fill each other in on the details Geralt was needlessly stingy with.

I'm a huge sucker for witchers-meeting-jaskier fics, especially when they come to the conclusion that Geralt is in love with his bard (because he is!) I love this, I love this, I love this!

Prompt 120

PROMPTAPALOOZA BEGINS... In place of August Eighth, Prompt 1/??? lol I'll check later 10-ish prompts from my promptapalooza backlogs are smacking you in the face today! From 120-130! Special thanks to @bakewrite for being so supportive of me, especially during the makings of promptapalooza :) Geralt hates fighting sorceresses. He hates it even more when he has to do so with Jaskier nearby. "Jaskier, I told you to fucking run!" He growls at the bard in between slashes of his sword, and the wretched woman he's fighting raises up in interest. "Oh?" She coos, and slaps a hand onto Geralt's head, and then everything goes dark. Jaskier watches in horror as some sort of magical scary witchy blast shoots into Geralt's fucking head, and alright, maybe he screams a little, but she already knew he was there so it's not like he gave away his position! Geralt falls to the ground, and the sorceress turns to look at Jaskier with an ominous grin. "Do you like it? It's my favorite one to cast... But I thought it could never work on a Witcher. They've no feelings." "Why, you-" "Hush, bard. I know now that I was wrong. That's why I'm so excited." Jaskier glances between her and Geralt repeatedly, before doing what Geralt always tells him NOT to do, he walks closer. "What have you done to him?" "A spell that makes him kill who he loves most. And if someone were to stop him from doing so, they'll be killed too. I, personally, am hoping for a violent breakdown after he realizes what he's done. Perhaps he'll go on another rampage like in Blav-" "That's not what happened!" "Tsk tsk. You're spending too much time defending your Witcher and not nearly enough time running, Bard." And with that, she disappears in a cloud of smoke. Jaskier frantically inspects Geralt. He's relatively uninjured, thank meletele- Geralt's eyes suddenly snap open, and he grabs Jaskier's wrist in a bruising grip. "Aow- Geralt-" Jaskier cries out in confusion, before remembering what the sorceress said. His eyes widen and he desperately tries to distance himself from Geralt, but he won't let go of his wrist. "Geralt- Geralt, please stop! It hurts! Geralt, come on! Snap out of it!" Jaskier pleads, but Geralt won't let go, and the grip is getting tighter. Jaskier hears something snap before he feels any pain, and he panics. He lifts a leg and kicks Geralt in the face. Geralt lets go with a snarl, and Jaskier runs to Roach. Jaskier knows there's no way he can outrun Geralt, but if he takes their horse, he just might be able to put enough distance in between them for him to figure out how to heal Geralt before Geralt snaps any more bones. He looks down at the hand with the injured wrist and sighs. No lute for a while, he supposes. No matter. Geralt is more important.

Prompt 121

In place of August Ninth, Promptapalooza 2/ Geralt has brought Jaskier to Kaer Morhen, and Jaskier couldn't be happier. It's on the second night there that he says it. Jaskier wakes up and Geralt has left their room. He ignores him the whole day. Jaskier thought that- What with Kaer Morhen- And how close they seemed- Maybe he could- It's pointless... Jaskier waits in their room for Geralt to come back, but he never comes back that night. Jaskier stayed up all night waiting for him to return, but he never did. Jaskier sleeps away the day, since he stayed up all night. He wakes up around dinner time and decides to skip it. What if when he goes down for dinner, that's when Geralt decides to come back? He'll be alone again. But he doesn't come back. Again. The door eventually opens and Jaskier looks over with pure elation only to dim when he sees it's Lambert. "...Uh, Birdie, you haven't left your room." "Our room." "Right. Are y'sick?" "...I'm waiting for Geralt to come back. He hasn't come back ever since I said it." "Said what?" "...I- I told him I love him. And he left. He won't come back. I thought we finally were close enough. I thought after all the years he'd be able to hear me out. I knew deep down he'd never love someone like me, but I didn't think he'd just... Abandon me for the whole winter." Jaskier sighs and turns to look at Lambert, only to see him crying. "Lambert?" Jaskier asks in confusion. "Fuck-" Lambert whispers in horror, before scrambling out of the room.

Lambert finds Geralt and shoves at him like a true brother. "Go find your bard, Asshole!" "What?" "He's in your room sobbing over how you left him cause he's unlovable!" "What!?" "Go fix it! I'll see you next winter." Geralt's brow furrows. "What do you m-" "I have to leave. I have to see someone. I'll tell you all about it next winter- We- We'll tell you all about it next winter. I have to go." "Lambert, what-" "I did the same thing, you idiot! He said he loved me and I panicked and I ran-" "Jaskier?" "NO! Aiden! Idiot!" "Who is Aid-" "NEXT WINTER!" And without another word, Lambert barrels out towards the horses.

Prompt 122

In place of August Tenth, Promptapalooza 3/ Geralt and Jaskier are traveling through faewood. They can tell it's faewood because the trees glittered and sang about how much closer the two would be if they just told the truth. The woods went back to normal afterward but it was kind of a giveaway. Jaskier starts playing some mindless melodies on his lute as they walk, only for Geralt to suddenly snarl a bit and turn to look at him. "Can you stop playing, Jaskier? I can't hear my self loathing thoughts when you play." They both stare in shock at each other. "That's not what I meant to say." Geralt states, awkwardly. "Do you often think bad of yourself?..." "All the time." "Me too." Geralt frowns. Geralt is a monster. He's a witcher. He's killed so many. Jaskier is perfect. Jaskier is sweet and kind and lovely. What can he hate about himself? "Geralt, please don't ask-" "What do you think about?" They say at the same time. "You'll leave me. You hate me. You'll find me annoying. You'll find me too loud. You'll never love me as I love you. I love you, Geralt. So much. I desire nothing but your arms around me at night, a kiss between us, you telling me I'm worth something to y-" Jaskier slaps his hands over his mouth and glances away. The trees giggle, and Geralt almost wants to launch a sword into the canopies just to fix the horrified expression on his bard's face.

Prompt 123

In place of August Eleventh, Promptapalooza 4/ If you ask Jaskier, dimensional spells were a bitch. That sorcerer was a twat! Blasting him and Geralt with his stupid cursed amulet boosting his stupid powers stupid man making his witcher all frustrated and sad! "Damn it!" Geralt snarls as they appear in a... Very small room. It's pitch black. "Don't fret, Geralt, there'll be a way out, I'm sure-" "Just- Shut up for a moment, Jaskier." "Right! Shutting up right away! Just as soon as I-" "Jaskier!" Jaskier huffs, and begins blindly feeling for some way out of the room. He feels a stick and gasps with excitement. "Oh, Geralt!" He swings the object around blindly until he hears the unmistakable sound of the bristles of a broom smacking directly into the side of Geralt's head. "Jaskier." "Sorry! Didn't mean to! Though you must admit, it's kind of humorous in it's own way-" *growling* "Alright maybe it isn't! Gods." Suddenly brightness blinds them as someone yanks the door open. "Can you damn kids stop trying to fuck in my supply closet!?" A man in weird clothing yells at them. Jaskier stammers a bit trying to think of like, any response, before Geralt just drags him out by the arm. They're in a bright building, with white walls that don't... appear to be stone or wood? And there's SO many people around. And they're all dressed... similarly to them. "Dude! Nice contacts!" A man in black with white hair says to Geralt. "I love your Jaskier outfit, did you make it yourself?" "Um no, I bought it." Jaskier says, to a man who looks remarkably like himself. "..Um, where are we?" Jaskier asks the man, and the man stares for a moment before letting out a soft chuckle. "Ohh! Yeah, it's easy to get lost. You're by the signing booths. What are you looking for? Merch? Photo-ops? Cosplay contest?" "A contest?" Jaskier asks, with excitement. "Yeah! Over who did the best cosplay of The Witcher! Are you going to enter as a Dandelion/Jaskier?" "Yes, I am!~" Geralt is desperately trying to find a way back to his own dimension, waiting for Yennefer to open a portal to find them, but it gets confusing when there's at least forty women AND MEN here dressed exactly like her. Jaskier meanwhile is busy throwing a tantrum over getting second in some contest, but Geralt is more worried for their lives, thank you very much. "SECOND PLACE! In a contest over who looks like me, I got SECOND place, Geralt!"

Prompt 124

In place of August Twelfth, Promptapalooza 5/ When Geralt is a young boy going through the trials, he's afraid of friends. So many boys... Don't make it through. It's easier to not get attached. But it got lonely. Too lonely. So one day, he picked up a dandelion that grew in between the stones in the courtyard, and he made a wish. And that's when he noticed he wasn't alone. There was a boy there. A new boy. He hasn't seen this one before. He must be from the wish! ... Geralt can't focus his eyes enough to figure out what the boy looks like. What is his hair like? Maybe it's curly? Or it poofs out like the dandelion did? The boy giggles and Geralt cocks his head to the side. No.. No it'd be something... Fun. Mischievous, but well-meaning... Messy and tousled. Perhaps a bit wavy. Fluffy and soft. What color would it be? He glances back to the dandelion and thinks of white hair, before he cringes, his own white hair invading his joy. He looked freakish. The dandelion boy didn't deserve that. He'll stay away from dandelion colors. Maybe brown. A nice chestnut color. Geralt blinks and the boy's hair changes before his eyes, becoming what he thought. The boy giggles again and Geralt admires the way it sounds. The boy focuses a tiny bit. His eyes. What about his eyes? He shouldn't be cursed with a witcher's eyes. Something prettier. Like a flower. Blue. The boy unblurs further, staring at him with big blue eyes. Lastly, he needs a name. "Dandelion." His vision of the boy finally cleared, and sat beside him was what must be his new friend. "I'm Geralt." "I'm Dandelion!" "I know that, I named you." "Do you want to play?" And Geralt nods, smiling. Years have passed, and Dandelion is easily Geralt's best friend. Some others have made fun of him here and there for believing in his imaginary friend, but Geralt doesn't care. Dandelion means a lot to him. Geralt's favorite thing to do with Dandelion is have Dandelion sing to him. He likes the sound, and Dandelion is truly very good at it. It all started when Dandelion sang him a lullaby one night when he was scared. Geralt then couldn't stop asking for more and more songs. Dandelion disappears one day. (Maybe during the collapse of the schools? For fun angst?) Geralt mourns and grieves him for years. He ponders for hours what could've made him leave. Was he scared off? Did Geralt do something? Was he ever really real? Years and years and years later, Geralt hears singing. Beautiful, familiar singing. He charges into the tavern and scares the patrons, but he doesn't even care, because standing on stage, playing a lute, is Dandelion. "If you'll excuse me, ladies and gentlemen! A friend of mine has come for me." And he skips off the stage, and right over to Geralt. "Where did you go?" "...I... Had to find a way to be real. Seen by others. Besides you." "Was I not enough?" "No! I mean yes! You were! But- Well, If we were to go on adventures like we always promised, I'd rather people not hold out on paying you because they thought you were crazy for speaking to me!" He laughs, and Geralt can't help it, he chuckles as well. "I- I go by Jaskier now." "Jaskier." "I sing." "...So you do." "I was waiting for you to find me. I knew this town would be on your route! Wasn't I so strategic, Geralt?" "Very strategic, Dand- Jaskier." "Have you come to take me on our adventures, Geralt?" "...Yes, Jaskier. I have."

Prompt 125

In place of August Thirteenth, Promptapalooza 6/

Geralt has a contract but won't tell Jaskier anything about it. Nothing. "Geralt, come on! Is it big? Is it small? Does it have fangs? Is it venomous?" "Jaskier, just stop asking." "But how am I meant to be safe enough to gather inspiration if you won't even tell me what to look out for?" "Because you'll be staying here. Away from the hunt." "Wh- What?" It's been years since Geralt refused Jaskier's involvement in a hunt. "It's too dangerous." Jaskier stares at him a moment before just sighing and nodding. "You'd think he'd tell you of the dangers if he didn't want you to go for your own safety." Jaskier thinks, though it doesn't sound like his own voice. "Can't you tell me something about the creature if I can't come with?" "No, Jaskier." "He doesn't want to talk to you." Jaskier shakes the thought out of his head. "Just play for the bargoers again if you need something to do. I'll be back before sunup." And without further ado, Geralt grabs his supplies and stomps out. "They hated your last set, though, didn't they? You've put so much effort into pursuing this dream of yours, just to get vegetables and stale bread thrown at you. Only to get cursed off stages. Is that what you wanted? When you became a bard? When you left home? Did you risk your life to leave just to be stuck with an audience that doesn't want to listen?" Jaskier shakes his head. Stop. Stop thinking about this. "Not even Geralt listens to you. Your only friend. The only person who manages to deal with you doesn't even want to hear you." Jaskier starts tidying their inn room in a panic. He needs to get his mind off the sudden turn for the worst his thoughts are partaking in. Usually only things got this bad after a bad fight with Geralt. Then Geralt would apologize and- "But did he ever really mean it? Or does he just do it to placate you? The little overemotional bard weighing him down, dragging him back, ruining his li-" "BOOK. I- I need to read a book." Jaskier fumbles for something to read to try and get something new in his attention, but he can't even make out a sentence. The thoughts are getting louder. "Is there even a contract or did he just finally leave you behind? Jaskier's vision blurs and suddenly he realizes it's tears. He rubs his face vigorously to get rid of them. He'd hate for Geralt to come back and find him bawling. "That's when he'd leave you for sure. Pitiful excuse for a companion, crying because of his own thoughts. Geralt would be so annoyed. You're nothing but a burden to him. He hates you." Jaskier grabs his lute and hurriedly begins strumming the worst tune he's ever made in his life, because he just needs something louder than the thoughts. He just needs to hear something but the thoughts. "He'll never love you back. You stay, and you keep hoping, but he'll never love you." Jaskier drops his lute and covers his ears, starting to sob in earnest. "He's been gone too long. He ditched you. He took Roach and he left you. The pebble in his shoe. The constant irritation. You're nothing to him. You're a speck of mud dirtying his life. He begs the gods every night to be rid of you. Everyone begs the gods to be rid of you. Everyone wishes you'd just shrivel up and die. The useless bard." "Stop- Stopstopstop-" "All anyone wants is to fuck you, but is it because you're desirable or is it because you're just that easy? Like a damned cat in heat. They always leave you come morning, anyways. Even the ones you begged to stay. Even the ones you wanted something more with. Nobody wants you to stay. Nobody likes your voice, your supposed 'talents', nobody likes your looks, nobody likes your personality, nobody likes your soul, nobody wants your love, you're a crumbling stone about to bring down a whole tower. And every other stone will hate you for it. They'll hate you. They'll fucking HATE you. They all HATE you. Geralt HATES you. He hates you. He hates you. He hates you." "JASKIER!" Jaskier blinks his eyes open

and sees Geralt kneeling in front of him, holding Jaskier's face in his big, calloused hands. "Jaskier, stop listening to it!"

Geralt had gone after a creature that infects people's minds, speaks horrible things into their thoughts until the person is driven crazy. He couldn't risk bringing Jaskier to be infected by it. And he couldn't risk telling Jaskier, because Jaskier would be paranoid of it infecting Geralt and he'd come along anyways, and the monster would sense Jaskier's fear, it'd burrow into him in a milisecond. Geralt's never been angrier for being right, before. He just thought Jaskier was safe here. But he came back and saw the undeniable symptoms of the monster. Pure black tears coming down Jaskier's cheeks as he sobs and begs an unseen force to 'shut up'. Geralt will kill this damned creature, and make it sorry for distressing his bard. And then he'll spend the night holding his bard close, and whispring every reassurance and praise he can think of.

Prompt 126

In place of August Fourteenth, Promptapalooza 7/ Geralt knows he has a soulmate when he first hears a small voice ask him what his name is. He doesn't respond. He's not humoring destiny (that bitch) or fate (that cunt). He's not going to respond.

It's been a few years and occasionally the voice still speaks to him.

"Are you real?" "Do you hate maths too?" "I fell earlier and really hurt my knee. Today's been bad. what about your day?" "I had a nightmare last night, but thinking of you helped." "When we're grown ups one day and we get married, we'll have flowers at the wedding, right?" "Do you like music?"

And Geralt never answers. He won't link this innocent child to his wretched, wretched life. He won't link them to a murderer.

Another few years go by, and unfortunately the voice won't shut up.

"Still not talkin', huh? That's fine! I can fill the silence easy enough! Let me tell you alllll about my day!"

He's temped to use their connection to tell his soulmate to stop talking, but he doesn't want to expose himself.

…

And he doesn't want to hurt them.

But them telling him a long rambling story about their walk in the woods that day and how a squirrel scared them right in the middle of Geralt fighting a leshy wasn't exactly helpful.

A few more years pass, and the voice still speaks to him. It's gotten deeper, so Geralt suspects it's a boy. Almost a man, but not quite.

"Father yelled at me again. If you care. I hope whoever you are, you have a better home." "Are you dead? They didn't give me a dead soulmate, right?" "Why won't you talk to me?" "i don't think anybody likes me. Not even you. You never speak to me. I wish you did." "I'm thinking of leaving. If there was any time to speak up and tell me who you are or where you reside, it'd be now." "Please talk to me." "I dreamt of you again last night. I keep doing it, recently. Sometimes you're a woman. Sometimes you're a man. Sometimes I can't really tell. Sometimes you're sweet and shy, sometimes you're flirty and crass. Sometimes you have brown eyes. Sometimes they're green. Sometimes they're blue. I wish I knew."

They're yellow. Hideous and grotesque. Inhuman. The boy shouldn't wish to know them.

"I left. I finally did it. I left just last night. I swear, wherever you are, I'll find you."

Another few years pass, and the voice is still there, but it's much rarer to hear. Geralt feels relief knowing he's finally giving up on Geralt and will find himself a better life.

"I haven't been doing a good job of finding you. But you haven't really given me any hints. Do you not want me to find you? Do you really want me to stay away?"

And Geralt finally responds to the man, for the first time ever.

"Yes."

"IT'S YOU! You responded! You're real! You're actually real! I do have a soulmate! I knew it! I knew I wasn't unlovable! Where are you? I'll-"

And Geralt hears the exact moment his rambling thoughts come to an abrupt crashing halt, as he processes what Geralt agreed to.

"Oh."

And that's the last message he gets from his soulmate's voice. It's what Geralt wanted all along. But after a solid year of hearing nothing from him, Geralt will admit he misses him. He misses the chatter.

It's the beginning of the very next year that he meets the bard Jaskier, who stubbornly fights tooth and nail to incorporate himself into Geralt's life.

He fills the silence left by Geralt's soulmate. It's nice to have prattle back. He doesn't tell Jaskier that, of course. Jaskier is young and foolhardy and jumps from bed to bed, but soon enough, he'll want to settle down with his own soulmate and he'll leave Geralt. Geralt isn't looking forward to the silence returning, but he likes Jaskier. He'd go through any silence for him.

It's Jaskier's fifth year traveling with Geralt. They sit across from each other around a campfire as Geralt roasts some pheasants and and Jaskier stares despondently at the notebook he's not writing in.

And then Geralt hears him. His soulmate's voice in his thoughts again.

"I've fallen in love."

And Geralt is happy for his soulmate. Because - Geralt glances at Jaskier for a moment and smiles to himself - He has too.

"I don't know if you hate me. Or if you're dead. Or if you've found someone else, but whatever it is, I hope you can be happy for me. I love him. I really, truly do. I love Geralt with everything in me."

And Geralt jolts and whips his head to look over at the bard.

"Jaskier?" He sends through the connection, and watches as his bard's eyes grow wide with shock.

"…You love me?"

Prompt 127

In place of August Fifteenth, Promptapalooza 8/ Geralt is exhausted after a contract. Covered in blood, mud, and who-knows-what-else he collapse into the bed of his room at the inn. Or at least, what he thought was his room. Turns out it wasn't. As merely an hour later, a bard walks into his room after a set, and turns to face his bed only to shriek. Oh my gods, someone put a body in here! If someone finds this- He'll be framed for it! He'll be imprisoned! Hanged! Before he even takes off as a bard!!! Thus a bard desperately trying to drag the body out of the inn late, late at night. He gets him outside the building, and is currently pacing back and forth over how to truly dispose of it, when the body sits up. Jaskier screams bloody murder, and chucks a few rocks at the zombie, before the zombie explains he's not a zombie, he's just a man who mistook Jaskier's room for his own. "And what's with the blood!?" "It's not mine!" "That's worse!"

Prompt 128

In place of August Sixteenth, Promptapalooza 9/ Most people immediately assume Geralt would be annoyed by human ailments. Find them distracting, or burdensome. They assume that if Jaskier gets sick, the Witcher wakes him up at dawn and forces them to travel onward any ways. They spread rumors that Jaskier sews his own wounds when caught in a hunt. The people speak of the heartless witcher yelling at the bard for getting sick. Of course, it's all false. Couldn't be more false, actually. Jaskier woke up with a sniffle. Just a tiny sniffle. No big deal! And yet, Geralt noticed. Of course he noticed. Notices everything with those damn supersenses of his. "Geralt, the contract-" "Fuck the contract." "That archespore hasn't even taken me on a date yet." "Jaskier, lay down!" "I can sit up-" "LAY DOWN!" Jaskier has been stuck in a witcher-enforced bedrest for two days. Even if the sniffles became sneezes, and his throat began to get scratchy and sore. So what if he had a fever? So what if he felt like shit? He shouldn't be slowing Geralt down! But Geralt won't let him do anything but slow him down! "Not gonna tackle me to the bed?" "No, walking is good for you, in spurts." "How nice." "No, keep moving. Ten more minutes of walking." "In the room?" "You can lap the inn if you'd like." "Well, alri-" "No wait- It rained recently- Too cold and damp for you." "Says who?" "Says me. And your fever." "Geralt, it's been two days of nothing but laying!" "I thought you liked being in bed." "Yes! To fuck! To sleep! Not to lay and stare at you!" "I like staring at you." "FineI'llpacethefuckingroom-"

Prompt 129

In place of August Seventeenth, Promptapalooza 10/ It's a simple drowner contract. Until one grabs Jaskier and drags him in. Geralt dispatches the creature efficiently and yet Jaskier is still struggling in the water. "Jaskier get out of there!" And yet Jaskier doesn't come to shore. Geralt looks back and watches Jaskier sink under the water. Geralt quickly finishes the fight and dives down for Jaskier. He drags him out of the water onto the beach, and watches as Jaskier throws up murky water. "Jaskier, why didn't you swim to safety!?" Geralt growls. He doesn't mean to snap, but he's upset that Jaskier put himself in harm's way. But then he immediately softens when he sees Jaskier start to cry. "I'm sorry Geralt, I didn't want to be a bother, I- I don't know how." Geralt holds his shivering bard closer to him, and nods a bit. "Alright. Alright.. I'm sorry I yelled. Let's get you to a campfire, bard." Geralt warms Jaskier, and feeds him, and gives him a tea to soothe his throat, and puts him to bed. Then Geralt makes a plan. They're at a calm, clean pond. Jaskier doesn't know why Geralt brought them there, until Geralt starts stripping. "What... Are you doing?" "We're going in. Take your clothes off, bard." It's not exactly the context he wanted to hear it in, but this is something Jaskier has dreamt of hearing from Geralt's lips, and he'll take what he can get. "Geralt, I told you I don't know-" "That's why I'm going to teach you."

“What are you putting in your soup?”

“Hemlock.”

“Ha! And they say Witchers don’t have a sense of humor.”

But Geralt isn’t joking. Because Witchers are immune to most human poisons, they tend to use them as spices.

Geralt has always been conscious of the fact that this is a thing that marks him as inhuman. He doesn’t bring out the human-deadly spices in towns.

At first, Geralt didn’t add poison to his food in front of Jaskier. But then, the bard proved himself unphased by black eyes, growls, and all sorts of strangeness. Surely, he wouldn’t think differently of Geralt for eating a bit differently.

Only, Jaskier keeps shrugging the poison off as a joke. And he keeps trying to steal food off Geralt’s plate like an idiot!

(Nevermind the fact that Geralt let him do it before and thus gave Jaskier the impression that the behavior was acceptable)

Geralt never lets Jaskier sneak food any more... Jaskier's starting to worry they're regressing in their relationship. Less amounts of intimacy shown. Geralt would just like the bard to stop trying to eat his poison!

Jaskier never makes promises. He literally never says the word “promise”, and he swears no oaths.

It’s a subtle quirk. It takes Geralt years to notice. When he points it out, Jaskier says with false levity, “I guess I don’t.”

From the bard’s body language, Geralt can see he doesn’t want to talk about it, so the topic is dropped.

Years later—after Geralt screams his fury at Jaskier—the bard says in a broken voice, “Don’t worry, Geralt. I promise not to bother you anymore.”

The promise sears itself onto Geralt’s soul like a brand. One made of chaos, and he can feel it become binding.

Geralt whips around, but Jaskier was gone.

There are a few moments of confusion before Geralt realizes what just happened. Jaskier had promised, and that promise was sealed with chaos. Only the Fae have such an ability.

YESSSSSSS i love this Geralt has to track down Jaskier and prove that Jaskier doesn't bother him, and thus the promise is still ringing true, even as they continue traveling together

Geralt was nervous to bring Jaskier to his home. He was sure the bard would get along with Eskel—their shared love of poetry and talking about emotions should smooth the way. Lambert would just be thrilled to have a new way to tease Geralt, and Jaskier being a bit of an asshole himself would help them bond.

But what of Vesemir? His mentor was not one to tolerate fools. What if he didn’t see past Jaskier’s foppish ways to his golden soul? What if he wasn’t understanding about the bard’s human limits? What if he scared Jaskier away for good?

All of these thoughts passed through Geralt’s mind outside the gates of Kaer Morhen. The gates opened for them, Geralt’s mentor was waiting for them on the other side, and as he came into view—

“PAPAMIR?!?”

Geralt winced at Jaskier’s loud shriek from beside him, and then the horror dawned because what did Jaskier just call Vesemir?!?

However, Vesemir didn’t look angry. He looked just as flabbergasted. “Julian?”

It turns out that Vesemir had once fallen for a widower Count, and he continued visiting the family even after the Count died 100 years ago. That Count was Jaskier’s great grandfather.

Geralt watched, dazed, as Vesemir doted on Jaskier while gently scolding him for not visiting his mother more often.

This is so funny, I love this WPGHWAPGHPAWGHPAW

“You love selfishly,” the witch told Geralt, which was pretty presumptuous seeing as how they’d met all of 5 minutes ago. And those 5 minutes had been spent trying to kill each other. “This selfishness will hurt you and those you love. Until you learn to love selflessly, you will only take your pleasure in the pleasure of others.”

Even as the curse took hold, Geralt didn’t panic. As curses went, it didn’t sound so bad. The bit about “pleasure” made it sound like it was about sex. Like, he wouldn’t be able to feel good unless his partner did, which was a standard Geralt held for himself anyway.

Only, the curse was much more than what he had assumed. Geralt soon discovered that food had lost its taste, that he tossed and turned all night. He wasn’t in pain, but he was never comfortable.

Fuck.

Through trial and error, Geralt learned the rules of his curse. It was pretty simple really. He couldn’t enjoy anything in life alone. Someone had to be nearby and enjoying it with him. Their pleasure was his pleasure. If that person wasn’t pleased with a meal—or in general—Geralt’s food would taste poorly too.

This made things difficult for Geralt. He had a solitary profession. Additionally, the people he did meet were never comfortable around him: all scared of hateful or suspicious.

Geralt found some work arounds though. Roach was a lifesaver: if she was eating, he could eat nearby and taste his meal. As long as she slept well—and nearby—he could sleep.

Winter was better: he explained his situation to his brothers, and he was never left without a companion. They offered to travel with him on the path, but he refused. He could endure the rest of the year as long as he had Roach

Geralt considered breaking the curse; however, he honestly wasn’t sure how. He honestly didn’t believe in love that was completely selfless. Relationships were always about give and take. People always wanted things from one another.

Years passed, Geralt endured, and then he met Jaskier.

Jaskier was… odd. He had taken one glance at a witcher, a rumored butcher, and decided that Geralt was his traveling companion. And then his muse. And then his friend. No matter how Geralt tried to disabuse him of any of these notions.

He did admit that having Jaskier with him made the path easier. He didn’t have to carefully time his meals and sleep around Roach when the bard was around. Jaskier was also surprisingly easy to please. Geralt could give him stale bread to eat and a lumpy mattress to sleep on, and the bard exuded joy.

Even while complaining the entire time.

The oddities continued when Geralt discovered that Jaskier didn’t have to eat a meal to enjoy it. Once, Geralt had been grievously injured, and Jaskier had insisted on spoonfeeding him. Even though the bard didn’t eat a morsel, the bard was so happy that the soup tasted like ambrosia to Geralt.

It was all so strange, and it made Geralt strange too. He caught himself thinking about how to make Jaskier happy. Not because of the curse. Because…because it was Jaskier, and Jaskier was meant to be happy.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! I love this!!!

Geralt is cursed to have his internal monologue visible on his face.

Of course, Jaskier finds him and questions the bag over his head.

*Bag falls off* Geralt: "shIT-" *quickly puts it back on* Jaskier: "What did that say??? 'I love...'?" Geralt: "ROACH. I love ROACH. AND ONLY ROACH. NOBODY ELSE. THERE'S NOBODY I WANNA THROW OVER A TABLE AT AN INN AND FUCK UNTIL HE CRIES. NOBODY I WANNA MARRY IN THE SPRING. NOBODY." Jaskier: "..........Geralt, darling, are you feeling alright?????"

Before the Sacking, some noble houses would sponsor witcher schools. It was a show of wealth and prestige, which also had the added benefit of putting one's territories higher on the witchers' list of priorities.

Of course, the sponsors abandoned them when the witchers' numbers dwindled too low to prioritize any territory.

Thus, it was a shock to all of the wolves when they received a letter from the Viscount of Lettenhove offering them a sponsorship contract. Was this a joke? A twisted plot to kill the rest of them? Did this Viscount know they couldn't possibly offer him any sort of special treatment?

Despite their doubts, the wolves sent a representative to Lettenhove. Geralt was the most likely to survive a trap, and his reputation couldn't possibly get lower if he had to fight his way out.

Geralt braced himself for the worst. He had his guard up as he arrived in Lettenhove, as he was received graciously, as he met the surprisingly young and handsome Viscount.

"You must be tired from your long journey. I have a bath and food prepared."

"I'd rather see to the contract first."

The Viscount placed a sheet of parchment before him, and Geralt read the contract. He read it again. A third time to be sure.

"What the fuck is this?!?" Geralt growled.

"I thought the conditions reasonable."

"It's completely one-sided!" Geralt waved the contract in his face, like that would help the Viscount see the situation clearer. "You can't be serious!"

The contract, if you could even call it that, basically guaranteed an allowance for the wolf school and safe lodging for them in Lettenhove or any of the Viscount's properties.

In exchange for...stories. The wolves would have to visit the Viscount to tell him about their hunts.

What the fuck?

"I am deadly serious," the Viscount responded, and Geralt could tell it was the truth. "You see, witcher, I have an excess of responsibilities, so I lack the freedom to travel. However, I have the means to pay someone to share their experiences with me. I thought 'why not pay someone who actually needs the money?' You witchers are famously underpaid."

Geralt stared at the noble uncomprehendingly. If the Viscount was looking for entertainment, Why not hire a bard instead?

"Should you need time to consider it, you may stay as long as you like. Your rooms--"

"We'll sign."

The Viscount's proper facade cracked, and the man beamed like a child. "REALLY?!?"

Geralt nodded. He couldn't understand the Viscount, but he also couldn't deny that he and his brothers needed the money.

I LOVE THIS I LOVE THIS I LOVE THIS!!!

Geralt meets a man named Jaskier who claims he can see ghosts. He isn’t sure if this “ability” is real or a delusion on Jaskier’s part.

Somehow, this uncertainty doesn’t prevent Geralt from falling in love with the man.

YESSSSSS I love this!!!