Warning Signals - Tumblr Posts
things you should totes not view as positive portrayals of love/romance:
the great gatsby
romeo & juliet
the phantom of the opera
What are some major red flags for you when it comes to guys?
Boys who don’t let you talk to or be friends with other boysBoys who make you feel bad about your body or expect you to change itBoys who have nothing but “crazy exes”“You’re not like other girls”Boys who use you for sexual or emotional gratification but shy away from the idea of actually dating you (obviously not applicable to a situation where a mutual friends-with-benefits deal has been struck and both parties are on the same page about what they want)Boys who call women sluts/whores/easy/etc for any reasonBoys who brag about how “tight” some girl he slept with was (time for a crash-course in sexuality from Dr. Ashe–vaginas relax, elongate, and lubricate when aroused. If an individual with a vulva was “soooo tight, dude” that’s because they WEREN’T AROUSED and YOU’RE BAD AT THE SEX THING)
there are at least a dozen more things I could probably put on this list, but those are the big ones that came to mind immediately
What I mean when I say "toxic monogamy culture"
the normalization of jealousy as an indicator of love
the idea that a sufficiently intense love is enough to overcome any practical incompatibilities
the idea that you should meet your partner’s every need, and if you don’t, you’re either inadequate or they’re too needy
the idea that a sufficiently intense love should cause you to cease to be attracted to anyone else
the idea that commitment is synonymous with exclusivity
the idea that marriage and children are the only valid teleological justifications for being committed to a relationship
the idea that your insecurities are always your partner’s responsibility to tip-toe around and never your responsibility to work on
the idea that your value to a partner is directly proportional to the amount of time and energy they spend on you, and it is in zero-sum competition with everything else they value in life
the idea that being of value to a partner should always make up a large chunk of how you value yourself