Unhealthy Relationships - Tumblr Posts

“Relationships take work”

Some things “relationships take work” should mean:

It takes work to learn to identify, effectively communicate, and mesh your needs/wants with those of another person

It takes work to actively listen and learn the other person’s communication styles as well as their needs and wants.

It takes work to maintain a relationship by planning activities together and investing in time spent together

Some things “relationships take work” should never mean:

Relationships take an exhausting cycle of constantly fighting and making up

Relationships require you to compromise your core values or change core aspects of who you are

Relationships take conforming to the other person’s expectations even when you don’t want to

Relationships take constantly proving to the other person that you deserve respect and/or love

Relationships require you to try to make yourself feel and want things you don’t actually feel or want - or at least pretend you do

Simple truisms like “relationships take work” can be misused in harmful ways.

Relationships do take work, but that work is supposed to be a team effort to support and care for each other while still honouring your own needs and desires.

If your relationship isn’t a healthy partnership, don’t feel like you have to stick it out just because “relationships take work.”

You are not obligated to stay in any relationship you do not want.

A somewhat personal example of this:

I have a friend, let's call her Bella. Bella is younger than me, just turned adult. (This detail is important.) Bella broke up with this guy who she was secretly engaged to (I know, sounds like bullshit. I bought their Wal-Mart engagement rings. I was supposed to help plan and enact their wedding after they had enough time to get settled to where they could afford to not be still dependent on their parents.) And literally three weeks later, I get a message from Bella saying she's no longer living with her parents.

Now, I get a little confused and concerned. She just turned 18 maybe 2 months earlier, not done with high school yet, and she didn't have a job. (I have my concerns about her even being able to keep a job in the first place.) I get her to tell me who she moved in with, since I knew for a fact that she was not going to be on her own, unless she was on the streets. She tells me that she moved in with, let's call him Ben, Ben. Now I had no idea who the hell Ben was and hearing he was her boyfriend was news to me. I ask her how long they had been together, ready to rain holy hell down on her if she had been cheating on her now-ex-fiance. She tells me they met a few weeks before. That's right folks. They MET a few weeks before. MET. Me being the friend I was, I try to hint this was not a good idea. You know, don't you think you're moving a little too fast, what about xyz?

Fast forwards about a week. Bella and Ben broke up and she was back at her parents. I was relieved. She moved about an hour away from her parents with a guy she had only known a few weeks at this point. She thought she was going to transfer to the adult high school there. Didn't happen, obviously. I learn not to long after, her parents made her break up with him. I just kinda accepted it as good. Only guy I actually ever approved her with was her ex-fiance. And I sure as fucking hell DO NOT APPROVE of Ben. I didn't approve of him when I first heard of him. I definitely did not approve of him when I learned why her parents made her break up with him.

Now, fast forwards again to last Tuesday. Me, Bella, her mom, and sister are all going to Wet'n'Wild, a water park for any not familiar with it. Bella asks me if she could use my phone while we're there. Now, I do not like letting anyone use my phone for any reason, but I asked her why she needed to use it. This is what she tells me: "So I can text Ben cause my phone's out of service and my parents don't know me and Ben are back together." I flat out tell her, no. We will be at a water park and you can go a day without constantly messaging him. I was fine being the Friar Lawrence to her Juliet, but only because I approved of the guy. And what I learned of Ben on the ride down there on makes me disapprove of him even more.

Ben is 22 and in the middle of a divorce. 22, middle of a divorce, and dating an 18 year old girl not even out of high school yet.

The divorce is because his wife apparently cheated on him. I can understand that. But if Bella doesn't immediately reply to his texts, he immediately pulls out the "Babe are you cheating on me?" "Babe you better not be cheating on me." Cards. I told her that this was him punishing her for his wife apparently cheating on him.

Ben demanded Bella tell him if someone hits on her while at the water park. I raise the question what the fuck is he going to be able to do about it? Even if someone does, its not like she will ever see them again. She calls it him being "over-protective." I called it, to her face, what it actually was. "Possessiveness, an unhealthy amount of possessiveness."

Ben apparently had a sob story childhood. Mother didn't love him. Mother hates him. And he has mental illnesses that he can't get medication for because he has this heart condition that has already cause him heart attacks and strokes. Oh, lets not forget that he was recently sent to and released from a mental hospital for a mental breakdown. I am in no way saying anything bad about people with these things. I understand. I have family and friends with mental illnesses. My friends thought I had Depression at one point, might have, but never been to a place to be diagnosed.

But I just find that all real convenient for him. Sob story to get pity. And then uses his mental condition and physical condition to manipulate Bella. She is literally terrified that if she doesnt talk to him 24/7 he will have to go back to the mental hospital because he had a breakdown because of her or he'll have a heart attack or something because of her.

When I get to her house to pick her up, he flips from "you gotta tell me if anyone hits on you" to basically "I don't believe you're actually going to a water park. Who are you gonna be with? Send me a picture. You better not be cheating on me" to basically "You better text me while there. I love you babe."

We get to the water park and I leave my phone in the rental locker. When I check my phone about halfway through our time there on a sunscreen re-application and bathroom run, Ben has found me on Facebook and messaged me telling me to tell Bella to message him back and that he loves her. This boy knows good and well her phone is out of service and shes at a water park, so won't have her phone on her all the time. I shove my phone back in that locker and go back to getting my pale ass roasted in that 100 degree full sun weather.

Back in the car to go home, she asks again if she can text Ben. I tell her she can wait one more hour without texting Ben. She pouts most of the ride home. But, then again, she believes that her parents just want to get in the way of her and Ben's love and not that they are legitimately concerned for her well-being as an 18 year old girl who cant support herself yet with a 22 year old in the middle of a divorce who has shown he's not the best guy around (manipulation, super possessive, punishing her for his wife cheating on him). Oh, and he wants her to stop being around her parents as soon as she is able, because he doesn't like them.

Not to mention all these plans for the future they have that I immediately burst because they didn't even think about all the costs associated. Oh, get a house together? Well, the mortgage may be reasonable, but what about insurance and utilities? Water? Electricity? Oh, he wants to buy a car first thing? Well, he could buy a decent priced car, but then there's all the inspection fees, registration costs, insurance costs. Oh, and he wants her to get a job right now to help support him while he looks for a job. But, her response to all I told her about costs that they didn't think of? "Oh. We didn't think about all of that."

So that is my story. @weasly65 knows Bella. I have been ranting about her situation with Ben since Bella told me she first moved in with him to Weasly65, though the rest of the information is new. Surprise. Here's the latest rant on Bella to you.

Possessiveness 101

Totally cool: “Hey, do you want to be exclusive?”

Red flag: “No one but me is allowed to touch you.”

Totally cool: “It makes me feel weird when you flirt with other people, can we talk about that?”

Red flag: “If you loved me, you would stop being friends with them. You KNOW it makes me jealous.”

Totally cool: “I hope we’re together forever. I’m so in this for the long haul.”

Red flag: “If you ever left me, I would kill myself.”

Totally cool: “Your mom is really unkind to me, can we try to minimize how often you bring me when you visit her?”

Red flag: “Your mom hates me, you need to stop talking to her. She’s trying to ruin our relationship.”

Totally cool: “I love you so much, oh my god.”

Red flag: “It’s a good thing I love you so much, because no one else would. You’d be alone forever without me.”

Other important red flags to keep in mind: someone who wants to jump into emotional/financial co-dependence very fast (like moving in together right away, or becoming each other’s only confidantes right away) and won’t take no for an answer; someone who tries to minimize how often you leave the house or interact with other people; someone who threatens you or themselves or your family or pets or possessions or financial future; someone who uses guilt to keep you from leaving a relationship.

Very important reminder: You do not need a reason to leave a relationship. Neither does the other person (or people). A relationship is over when one of the people in it says it’s over, period. Obviously it’s kind to take the end of a long relationship seriously, but abusers and manipulators have lost the right to that conversation. Lie if you need to–your safety is much more important than their feelings.

Trust your instincts!

Chamber of Reflection pt.1

Relationship: (Platonic) Zeus & Ares

Summary: Zeus thought about it for a moment. He loved Ares, in his own special way. He was disturbed by his violence, but fascinated by the skills it took to execute his aggression. He hated how much Ares looked like him, but loved how much he looked like his mother. His feelings for Ares were complicated.

It wasn’t complicated for Apollo.

Anyone who harmed Apollo would face the wrath of Zeus.

Apollo was kind where Ares was cruel. Apollo’s smile was infectious to many, his rays were warm and gentle. Zeus’ pride never faltered when he thought of Apollo. All the endless victories Apollo achieved were Zeus’ achievements, because he made this wonderful boy and only his mother could say the same. It wasn’t quite the same with Ares. He loved Ares like a father was forced to love a child. Zeus doubts he would care for Ares if he wasn’t his son, but he would love Apollo no matter the circumstances. It’s just not the same.

It never will be.

OR

Ares is more psychologically damaged by the jar incident then in canon, and Zeus has to pick up all the pieces for a son he hardly knows.

Author's Note: IM INTENDING to have 2-3 parts, and I'm also posting this on ao3! I have a feeling this won't get attention, but I'm excited for Poseidon, HESTIA, baby Apollo & Artemis, and... Cronos. Also disclaimer that some of this isn't completely accurate to greek mythology, but if you have any sort of advice to give I'm happy to receive.

Zeus wasn’t sure at first who he was looking at when he entered the healing chamber.

Yes, it was Ares.

But it also wasn’t. Something was horribly wrong.

Zeus swallowed an uncomfortable lump in his throat, the lingering defeat in the air making him want to vomit. Ares was no stranger to defeat, Zeus even used to find it laughable when Ares tried to challenge someone more powerful and lose terribly. Ares' nature called for losses, but this defeat seemed to change him in a way Zeus didn’t like.

Ares’ chest stuttered as he breathed, like even breathing was an incredible struggle for him. Something that was meant to be natural, especially for a god.

It took a few moments for Ares to notice someone else was in the room, but when he did he stared at Zeus like he hardly believed he was there.

Zeus speaks first because he had a feeling Ares wasn’t going to. “Apollo informed me that you have been… difficult while he’s trying to heal you. Why?”

No response.

“Answer me when I’m speaking to you-” Ares finally looks back up to him, but not with the anger Zeus expected. He wanted Ares to yell in his face, for once. It felt strange to see his eldest son without that passionate fire in his eyes–it was like staring into a blank void. Zeus cut eye contact from Ares, uselessly staring at the wall.

“Why are you here?” Ares asks. His voice is small and quiet, almost like how Zeus would expect a mouse to sound like.

“I want you to accept your medicine. You’re neglecting your duties, your mother is worried about you. This has gone on for long enough” Zeus says. Ares stares at Zeus for a moment, like he was picking him apart in his head.

“Were you not worried?” Ares asks. He speaks as if it hurts him to do so. Now that Zeus thinks of it, it probably does.

Even more awkwardness is pumped in the air the longer Zeus hesitates to answer, because he wasn’t sure if he even felt any genuine concern until now.

“I was worried.” Zeus responds, but he already knows he sounds flat and dishonest.

“Then where in the name of your big brother were you?” Ares sits up with some difficulty, letting out a strong breath when he accidentally puts pressure on one of his injuries. Zeus doesn’t move to help him.

“They used to worry whether one of the Olympians would come down when they first captured me. Didn’t want the wrath of the King of the Gods did they? But after 5 months they realized I wasn’t going to be saved anytime soon, they started to treat me like a playtoy. Wanted to see what ichor looked like splattered on the wall. Or whether a god will stitch itself together after being pulled apart. Simpler experiments, they wanted to see how long I could survive without breath or food. They were a bit upset when Hermes and Artemis came, I believe. They were waiting for me to end my pain of starvation and resort to cannibalism. I used to feel comfort during storms because I thought that meant you were coming to save me… and you never did.” Ares was never shy to violence, but the simple recollection of his torture didn’t feel right to Zeus. It made him feel even more sick that the giants were right.

“We tried to save you as soon as we knew. I would’ve come down myself if it was necessary.”

“And it wasn’t? Would it have been necessary if it was Apollo? If Apollo was stuck in a jar, are you telling me you wouldn’t have demolished the giants with your mighty bolts?” Ares looks curiously at Zeus, wide eyes almost like a child but lacking the innocence that is supposed to come hand in hand.

Zeus thought about it for a moment. He loved Ares, in his own special way. He was disturbed by his violence, but fascinated by the skills it took to execute his aggression. He hated how much Ares looked like him, but loved how much he looked like his mother. His feelings for Ares were complicated.

It wasn’t complicated for Apollo.

Anyone who harmed Apollo would face the wrath of Zeus.

Apollo was kind where Ares was cruel. Apollo’s smile was infectious to many, his rays were warm and gentle. Zeus’ pride never faltered when he thought of Apollo. All the endless victories Apollo achieved were Zeus’ achievements, because he made this wonderful boy and only his mother could say the same. It wasn’t quite the same with Ares. He loved Ares like a father was forced to love a child. Zeus doubts he would care for Ares if he wasn’t his son, but he would love Apollo no matter the circumstances. It’s just not the same.

It never will be.

“No answer? The magnificent Zeus has no answer? Coward. You’re a fucking coward-”

“I didn’t come here to hear you whine about your brother again. At the end of the day, you can point fingers but this is the result of your own foolishness. You decided to fight not one, but two giants and for what? You are not the victim here.” Zeus’ hands tightened in fists as he looked upon his son–his arrogant son who was laughing in his face.

“Are you fucking kidding me? You sound more upset about me mentioning your favoritism to the bastard-”

“Don’t call him that.” Zeus warns.

“-than me being tortured! If you think you care about me, you’re deluding yourself. Maybe you need your ‘god of truth’ son to figure that out.” Ares expected Zeus to grab him and smack him around, or even just simply yell at Ares until his eardrums bleed. What he didn’t expect was for Zeus to start laughing. Ares laughs during arguments, not Zeus.

It wasn’t unsettling for the King of Olympus.

“I tried to be patient with you, but as usual, you tested me. What do you want me to say to you? That I wish you were something I could be proud of? Or that I wish you were a person capable of being liked? All you do is give reasons to make people hate you. You throw insults at your siblings any chance you get, and when you get humbled you throw tantrums that you expect me to handle. Have you ever wondered why hardly anyone on Olympus wants to be around you?”

“Where do you think I learned it from? My anger is your anger. My hatred is your hatred. Everything you hate about me came from you.” Zeus’ face was practically boiling hot at this rate, and without realizing it, he punched at the wall right near Ares’ head. Ares glanced at the damaged wall near his head and back at his father, raising an eyebrow at Zeus.

“Do you see what you do to people? You provoke them to the point of anger, and you like that don’t you? It doesn’t matter, because I’m sick of speaking to you, and I’m definitely sick of babying you. If I find out you’re refusing medicine again, I’ll add more injuries to match the rest of you. Do you understand me?” Ares stubbornly doesn’t respond, lightly tracing the edge of the fist-shaped hole in front of his face. It’s like he was fascinated with the uncontrollable anger Zeus feels around him.

No surprise there.

“I never understand you, Zeus.” Ares admitted. “I don’t think I ever will.”

“I know something you do understand. Violence. That’s what you like?” Zeus snatched Ares’ finger, bending it back at an unnatural angle. Ares stared down Zeus, as he wasn’t expecting to follow through with it.

“You will stop rejecting Apollo’s medicine. You will eat, sleep, do whatever is necessary to get better. I don’t care who or what you’re doing it for, but you will do it. I will not come back in here because next time I will bring the thunderbolt. Is that clear?” Zeus says.

“You wouldn’t do it. Mom would find a way to kill you again.”

“I’ve angered her before. She’ll get over it like she always does.” Zeus knows she will never get over it. She would unleash her fury upon anyone, even the undeserving, if Zeus even attempted to raise his thunderbolt against his son. No matter how much he hated it, Hera loved her son unconditionally.

“What a good husband you are. All the bastards running around Mount Olympus, and you want to smite the only legitimate son you have.” Ares notes.

Zeus hated Ares’ attitude.

He hated how bratty Ares was, how Hera constantly pestered him about Ares.

How Ares would run to Poseidon as a kid, as if Poseidon was somehow better than him.

How Ares continues to hurt innocent people in some misguided attempt of release

About how much he should care about a kid who can hardly respect him.

He hated how confident Ares was that Zeus wouldn’t hurt him.

And with a sickening crunch that made Zeus feel nauseous, Ares’ pointer finger is crushed by the strength of Zeus.

More pain shoots up Ares' finger as Zeus tightens his grip, putting even more intense pressure on the injured finger. Ares of course cries out in pain, but Zeus fails to listen. He completely tuned Ares' voice from his head.

Ares was actually crying now, the first time Zeus saw him cry in years. The tears brought on a sense of nostalgia, back when Ares was a kid. Every injury was life altering, any wrong choice of words would make Ares tremble and sob.

What a sensitive kid he used to be then.

He looked like his mother now more than ever, and Zeus was reminded why he hated seeing Hera cry. Ares’ eyes were like the stars that litter the dark sky, and it was heartbreaking and beautiful all at once.

Ares was used to pain, especially now. Zeus crushing his finger was miniscule to the pain he’s used to receiving.

It wasn’t the pain that brought tears to Ares’ eyes, it was the fact that Zeus was the one inflicting it.

Zeus couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore, and instead looked down at the hand he was holding. They were healed scars all around the palm of his hand, very little faint lines that were hard to see. This must have been from when he was far younger than what he is now. Ares tried ripping his hand out of Zeus’ grip, but Zeus was always stronger than him. Eventually Ares gave up and decided to just close his fist as much as he could, hiding the scars from Zeus’ view. Zeus didn’t really understand why Ares was so adamant on hiding his scars, when he usually shows his scars off like some trophy. Then again, he never really understood Ares.

Zeus pried open Ares’ palm and picked out another finger. “Please just do what I say, don’t argue.” Zeus begged with his eyes for Ares to not be stubborn, so he won’t have to hurt him again.

He didn’t like who he became when he was around Ares.

“Okay.” Ares speaks finally. Zeus can finally breathe again, but he doesn’t feel relieved. What’s been done is done.

Zeus lets go of Ares’ hands, and it drops like deadweight. Ares won’t stop looking at him, and Zeus couldn’t handle it. He walks away from Ares, stopping at the doorway.

A chill fills the room as Zeus pauses, searching through his mind what he could say.

“Feel Better.” He says, before leaving Ares to his own devices.

It felt like a threat.

Okay I wanna make something clear right here and now kiddo:

✨You are not responsible for your parents.✨

If they fight, have problems, can't get along, disagree, play mind games, manipulate each other, or are even just passive aggressive or don't communicate well, whatever it is is not your fault. Don't feel like you have to help or fix them, especially not at the cost of your own mental health and well-being. Don't feel like you have to be there for them to vent at or dump their problems on, especially if they're complaints about each other. You are NOT to blame for their complications.

This goes for anybody in your life of course, but dealing with the need to support the people who are meant to be your support system is something I see all too often.

You were NOT brought into this world to be miserable on other people's behalf. You cannot fix people, they have to work on themselves.

Especially if those people are your parents.

Ai chat bots >>>> Relapsing into unhealthy attention seeking behavior from strangers online

Arctic Monkeys - 505

yandere! telepathic classmate headcannons

yandere! telepathic! classmate x telepathic! reader

premise: whenever someone falls into a pit of obsession with you, they open their mind and heart, therefore somehow giving you the ability to read your thoughts. having endured this for a long time, you’ve managed to avoid meeting disastrous ends with these admirers. that is, until you meet your new classmate (who claims it’s the first time you’ve met) who is somehow always able to see through your tricks. 

warnings: stalking, manipulation, unhealthy relationships

- thinking about yandere classmate! who, despite your claims, says it’s his first time meeting you. 

- yandere classmate! who has somehow stolen the hearts of your teachers and classmates alike with that dashing smile of his and amicable personality.

- yandere classmate! who you’ve sworn up and down that you’ve seen before. he looks so familiar, you can’t put a finger on it. 

- yandere classmate! who ignores all of your attempts to brush him off and always seems to be where you are. 

- yandere classmate! who greets you twice: once when he’s introducing himself to the class, and once in your head, in your thoughts. 

- hello, pretty thing. 

- yandere classmate! who’s thoughts are so...structured. who’s thoughts sound so scripted and unnatural yet you can’t call him out for it. as if he’s deliberately hiding from you. as if he knows. 

- yandere classmate! who you know has some sort of obsession with you but you just can’t read him. 

- yandere classmate! who somehow knows how to make you say yes to him, no matter how much you don’t want to.

- oh? you don’t want to help him bring the lab equipment back to the science classroom? well, you can’t, not when he’s asked you in front of everyone (including a very pushy, very expecting homeroom teacher). 

- you don’t want to study with him? well, you’re going to have to if you don’t want to fail calculus. he’s the top student in the grade, and everyone else seems busy. 

- you’re hiding in the corner during lunch to avoid seeing him? all of a sudden, he wants to eat in this specific spot in the corner of the school where no one goes to as well, conveniently right after you decided you wanted to eat there. 

- you want to go to your favorite bakery to relieve stress and forget about him? he’s sitting in that exact spot, your spot, the one you always go to to people-watch. and he’s sitting there with your usual order and an inviting smile. it unnerves you so much. 

- you don’t want to date him? you already are. he’s already told everyone through subtle social cues. by the end of the week, everyone thinks your dating, but doesn’t really let you know they know, convinced you like your privacy. 

- it isn’t until your friends ask you, offended that you kept something so important from them, that you realize what’s going on. 

- yandere classmate! who doesn’t accept your rejection, who just puts his hand on your shoulder and nuzzles into the crook of your neck. 

- yandere classmate! who interrupts every conversation you have with another guy. who wraps a possessive arm around your waist and presses a pretty little chaste kiss on your neck. 

- who thinks your mine, mine, mine, mine, whenever he sees you with someone else. 

- yandere classmate! who is somehow your partner in every group project, yet you somehow can’t get a read on how he accomplished such thing. 

- yandere classmate! who always knows what you have on your wishlist for every holiday and brings them to you wrapped in your favorite color. 

- yandere classmate! who one day slips up when he’s laughing with your friends that he’s somehow charmed without you knowing. 

- those same friends, who congratulated you on a happy relationship, happy you’ve managed to open up to other people. who you can’t bear to disappoint after years of being so-closed off and being a downer. 

- yandere classmate! who thinks you think reading my thoughts will change things? when will you give in and accept it? 

- yandere classmate! who pretends nothing is wrong when you freeze, baffled. instead, he kisses you on the cheek and your friends coo. 

- yandere classmate! after months of constantly making you say yes to his ‘requests’ finally lets you in on his secret. 

- yandere classmate! who now openly engages in telepathic conversations with you when employing his tricks. who smirks whenever you try to push him away. who enjoys the chase. 

- your thoughts are so pretty. won’t you decorate them with more thoughts of me?

Overprotected

Chitose Fujinomiya’s thoughts || Chitose/Eiji || Chitose/Ichiban || Infinite Wealth spoilers

Read this on AO3

“Chitose, darling! How are you doing?”

“Fine, mom.”

“Oh, dear, why is it always ‘fine’ with you? Tell me what’s going on, how’s your day been so far…”

“It’s been… fine, mom.”

It hadn’t. The last couple of weeks had been the worst in Chitose Fujinomiya’s life. And the one she had been blaming for this was herself.

“Well, darling, you see,” mom said, and Chitose got the sense that the woman was uncomfortable even talking about this to her daughter. “I’ve been contacted by the dean’s office a few hours ago. They say you haven’t been attending your classes recently. They tried to reach out to you but had no luck. Are you okay, sweetheart? Is there any trouble?”

“No, I’ve just… I’ve been quite sick recently. Decided it was better to stay at home and focus on healing…”

“Oh, gosh! You should definitely see a doctor!..”

“It’s okay, mom. It’s just a bad, bad flu. I’m fine, just need a couple more days.”

Mom’s voice subdued at the end of the line.

“Well, if you say so…”

Chitose was lying. Physically, she was rather fine. However, ever since meeting Ichiban Kasuga, she started viewing the last three years of her life as a fever dream.

It all started with a simple DM. “Hey, Tatara! I've been a huge fan of yours ever since that exposé of the Fujinomiya business. Can we chat?” How easy it would have been to say no! “Do not chat with strangers on the internet,” her mom always said. But Chitose felt lonely. Upset. Invisible to her own family. So she tapped “Respond.” And only now did she realize this had been the biggest mistake of her life.

“Chitose, darling… You can talk to me. You know this, right?”

No, she couldn’t. She had made this mistake enough times in her life to know the true meaning of these words. If she were to let anyone in her family in on the truth, it would backfire instantly. No pocket money, no freedom to move around the city, no sympathy whatsoever. And a ton of accusations. “You’re a grown-up woman, you shouldn’t trust some stranger you barely know!” Yeah, she already knew this pretty damn well.

“Yes, mom… I’ve gotta go. I’ll call you later…”

“You’ve gotta go where?” Mom's voice got louder. “You’re sick, where are you heading?”

“To bed, mom, to bed,” said Chitose rubbing her forehead as her brain felt like splitting in half. “Bye.”

“Hope to see you soon, darling,” a confused voice said from the speaker of a trendy smartphone.

Chitose swiftly pressed the red icon and lowered the hand on top of her knees. She wouldn’t want to see her mom. She wouldn’t want to see anybody.

It was starting out too well. Chitchats after every stream. Praises, and flattery, and all the gaudy understanding a twenty-three-year-old girl may want. In no time, she found herself shivering at every DM beep. Day after day, all she’d been looking forward to was crawling under her blanket and reading what her mysterious follower had to say.

His profile barely had anything. There was a nickname, an edgy picture, and the interest: drama and exposé videos. That was it. Soon Chitose found herself lacking the means to feed her imagination. So she turned to the internet. She entered the nickname into a search engine and dove deep into the abyss of useless info. On page six, she found an account on another social media website. It had the same nickname and profile picture. But that wasn't all. There was also the age (twenty-nine at the time) and more old profile pics. Scrolling through them one after the other, Chitose found one that caught her eye. A dark room, a window lit by the streetlights outside, and a grim silhouette of a man standing sideways. The most striking was that, unlike all the other profile images, this one looked less quality, as if not appropriated from the net but taken on someone’s cheap smartphone.

Can one fall in love with a single grim profile picture? Chitose didn’t know. If only she had a friend to ask! But she was all alone, staring at a dim silhouette of a man on the little phone screen night after night. And it did feel like falling. As if she had lost her footing and was crashing down with no landing in sight. And then… then she got the message.

“Shall we meet?”

Her palms got sweaty in an instant. Her mind, confused between the images of a gleeful meetup and the scolding she’d get for going out without permission, was in a state of utter shock. Without even realizing what she was doing, Chitose typed, “Yes.”

She remembered entering the café they chose together. There were five tables, and all of them were occupied by different men. But for Chitose one glance was enough to send shivers down her spine. She knew it was him. It was the same old silhouette she was used to seeing on her screen. Disheveled hair, an oversized T-shirt, scruffy stubble and a cheeky smile on his handsome face. Barely feeling her toes, Chitose made a few steps towards the table. And was met with a blank stare of these deep brown eyes.

”Can I help you?” the man of her dreams asked quietly.

“Yeah…” she uttered in confusion. “I’m… Tatara Hisoka. We’ve agreed to meet here…”

She noticed a spark of curiosity in his eyes. He scanned her appearance in one thorough gaze, skimming her look from the short black hair to the sweatshirt and baggy jeans, vaguely smiled, and said to her face:

”I didn't expect you being this… It’s nice finally meeting you, Tatara-chan!”

Only recently had she remembered this first phrase. For years, she had been suppressing this moment in her memory. Trying to forget she was never what he wanted. And almost succeeding.

He introduced himself almost instantly. Eiji Mitamura. In person, he had no intention to hide his face or his name. This was what got her hooked on. For the first time, she had someone totally honest with her. And she felt that she could be honest with him. What a mistake…

It became their secret. Meetings in tiny cafés. Them sharing channel design and content ideas. Innocent chat at first, it swiftly turned into actual videos. Chitose was grateful for Eiji’s input. His ideas were bringing in hundreds and thousands of viewers. Numbers she couldn’t even dream of just recently. And, naturally, she was too excited to notice what actually mattered.

Eiji liked it hot. The new character design he brought for Tatara was a lot more revealing than her original drawings. He always had a quip on Chitose’s looks. Her hair being short was too boyish, her sweatshirts being huge were too ugly, her coy attitude wasn’t steamy enough. She was never enough. And that was what changed her.

She was used to thinking it was for the good. She was becoming a better person. Less repressed, more open-minded. Thinking critically. Turning into a woman she would admire. A strong one, the one to never be manipulated, never be pushed over by anyone, including her family. Funny… Isn’t this exactly who she became to him? Just a pushover, a puppet he would ventriloquize from?

But she didn’t notice. She was in love. With the dim image on the avatar, with the silhouette at the café table, with the quiet laughter and loud anger. And she hid it as well as she could. Meaning… it was painfully obvious. Her trying to seize his attention. Her grasping at straws to make him like her. For months, she would be giving herself up, little by little, thinking that she was being smart, and strategic, and doing everything to win him over. Little did she realize: it was his plan all along. To tease her, to make her betray herself, to make her easy to string along. And that first kiss in the dark alleyway at midnight… it wasn’t her winning. It was him accepting her as his voluntary slave.

It had always been bittersweet. Those sacred kisses no one would see. Those careless words that would make her shiver. That night she called her mom lying that she was staying for a sleepover at a friend’s house while half-naked on the floor in Eiji’s apartment with him running his fingers down her chest. It felt off, but she couldn’t put her finger on why. So she decided to focus on what felt sweet and ignore the bitter.

Chitose didn’t expect what would come next. One day, she spent almost eight hours DMing Eiji with no response. On the verge of tears, she finally saw a new message: “I’m sorry, baby, I’m in Hawaii. Don’t know when I’ll be back. Don’t miss me too much!” Soon, she realized that she did. She could almost sense his absence. The emptiness where he used to be. Chitose was quite used to her life feeling empty. But for the first time, no amount of online videos was able to cover it.

Eiji would fly in and out of Japan every now and then, leaving Chitose feeling like she herself was switching between two different countries: one with him in it and one without. And, little by little, the second one started to consume the other. Even when Eiji was in town, he had no time to see her. No time for chatting. No time to answer her DMs. No time to even open them sometimes. Chitose tried asking her mom of what this might even mean, but the suspicion in her eyes made Chitose stop questioning. She didn’t want mom to find out. Or, maybe, she didn’t want to know how deeply off these relationships actually were.

Chitose never cared much for her studies, to be honest. There was never a purpose to it. Just… having a degree would be nice for a promising young lady. She was attending classes and passing exams in order to simply be busy. Only when Eiji once again left for Hawaii she found a motive to get better at studying. No, it wasn’t an unexpected urge for knowledge. It was an exchange program she found in one of the many leaflets passed around the campus.

How proud of herself she was when she got accepted! It was as if all the hard work she put into it was paying off. Chitose imagined herself arriving at the Honolulu airport, calling Eiji’s number…

He didn’t pick up. Didn’t read her message. Utterly confused, she arrived at her dorm with other exchange students. She didn’t feel victorious. It was as if the finish line she was running towards and almost reached was getting further and further away.

Chitose raised her head, put the phone on the nightstand, and went to the bathroom. A tiny room with a shower, a toilet, a sink and a mirror above it. It was the latter that caught her attention. Or was it the image of a confused girl reflected there?

A glance in the mirror reminded Chitose of how she started to realize how wrong this whole thing was. She was standing right there with a phone pressed to her ear, listening to Eiji’s voice begging her to fetch something from the house of some old lady. “Please, I have no time to explain, just do what I’m asking you.” It was off. Eiji never needed her help. He was never asking her for anything. Especially anything illegal. And this venture seemed totally against the law. But the suspicion wasn’t enough for Chitose to refuse. She nodded, put the phone down, and ran off looking for a taxi.

Everything was going fine. She sneaked into the house, started flipping through stuff, trying to find anything that resembled the necklace Eiji described… and then she heard a door knock. There was someone outside. Someone out there to catch her. Panic went up Chitose’s throat. She couldn’t even breathe. She knew – now she was going to jail. What a fitting end to her stupidity…

She had to calm down. She forced herself to inhale, slowly filling her lungs with air. Then, she briefly exhaled and ran downstairs. Whoever was there, she was going to find her way out of this. After all, she was actually smart. And witty. And quite hot, if this comes in handy.

When she entered the hallway, she almost froze in fear. The uninvited guest… she recalled his image immediately. A yakuza. A former yakuza, to be completely frank. But still… When Eiji brought her that expose, she wasn’t actually betting on it doing well. But the video went viral in just a couple of hours. Chitose was over the moon when she saw the viewer count. She never expected the man in question to show up on her doorstep. Well, it wasn’t her doorstep, but nevertheless… It took her courage to smile at him, and nod, and keep talking as if everything was normal. Inside, Chitose was full of fear and panic.

When the man went to the bathroom, she instantly grabbed her phone and called the number on the speed dial. A familiar voice responded:

“How’s it going? Have you found it?”

“No!” Chitose whispered hastily. “I don’t know what happened… That yakuza from the video last month – he’s here somehow! I don’t know what to do!..”

“It’s okay,” Eiji didn’t sound troubled at all. “Do something to him. You’re good at martial arts, aren’t you? Just knock him out!”

“This musclehead?” Chitose’s eyes went wide. “There’s no way, he’s… huge!”

“Oh, come on!” The man was clearly annoyed. “Check the kitchen out. The old hag must have sleeping pills somewhere. Just drug him! And then drop him off somewhere…”

“Eiji… can’t you just come and help me? I don’t know how I would drug him…”

“I can’t,” he sounded dead-set on this. “Too busy.”

“Eiji, please!” Chitose started begging. “I‘ve never wanted this! Please, you have to help me!”

“Fine,” said Eiji reluctantly. “I’ll be there in two hours. Knock him out.”

“Eiji…”

But he had already hung up. Chitose sighed in frustration and ran to the kitchen.

Drugging Ichiban was much easier than she expected. He had no suspicion whatsoever. On the opposite: he was very open, and lively, and funny… It took strength for Chitose to not get charmed instantly. And, when he finally collapsed from all the pills and alcohol, she could rest easy and think.

This felt off. Digging through stuff in some else’s house. Lying her way out of being discovered doing this. Feeding sleeping pills to a stranger. She never wanted any part in this. Her only hope was Eiji arriving in time. So when the front door screeched again, Chitose ran to it as if her life depended on it.

“Is he unconscious?”

“Yes…”

“Good.”

Eiji didn’t seem okay. He could barely move his feet, pressing his shoulder against the wall and slowly making one step at a time. Chitose’s heart went out to him. If only she knew he was so unwell, she wouldn’t have called him.

“I’m sorry I made you come all the way here. Are you alright? Is there anything…”

“I’m fine,” responded Eiji with annoyance. “Where is he? We need to get rid of the guy.”

“He’s… in the backyard…”

Swearing through his teeth and stumbling, Eiji headed across the room. Chitose followed him, trying to decide if she could offer him her shoulder to lean on. The man was coping pretty well. It even seemed that every next step was getting less shaky than the previous one.

Eiji left the house and approached the guy lying face down on the porch. Barely maintaining the balance, he kicked the man on the ribs. The ex-yakuza was unresponsive.

“You fucking moron,” she heard Eiji’s voice. “Your rush to get here just ruined everything for me.”

“What do we do now?” Chitose asked nervously.

“Help me over here…”

Eiji sat down and tried to lift Ichiban from the floor. But the guy was way too big for him to handle, especially considering the tremble in Eiji’s legs. Chitose dashed towards him and grabbed Ichiban under the other shoulder. Together, they managed to lift the man from the ground. Still swaying, Eiji made a couple of steps towards the ocean…

“Where are we taking him?” Chitose asked, hoping her partner had a plan.

“We’ll drop him into the water,” Eiji replied, barely standing. “In this state, we won’t even wake up before his lungs fill up…”

Chitose froze at her spot. No way. Yeah, this Ichiban was a yakuza with a terrifyingly huge build, he was a dangerous man to be around. But just the few minutes they spent together were enough for Chitose to truly believe: he hadn’t deserved such a cruel fate.

“What’s wrong, Chitose?” Eiji turned his head and graced her with an annoyed glance.

“I can’t,” she said, unable to make a single step towards the water.

Eiji turned his body towards her, almost dropping Ichiban back to the ground. His angry stare made Chitose wish she had never picked up her phone that day.

“And what’s your suggestion, Miss Help-me-Eiji-I-don’t-know-what-to-do?”

Indeed. Wasn’t it her who begged for him to come and solve this? Now things were different. She wasn’t ready for every solution Eiji could come up with. So she had to make her own choice.

In the end, she actually convinced him to help her undress the man and drop him out on a public beach, hoping for him to get arrested and sent to jail. It took Eiji quite some time to consider this alternative, but he agreed, finding it much more promising.

“This idiot is lucky. If we keep an eye on him, we may even find what we’re looking for.”

Chitose was happy to agree. She never wanted blood on her hands. Especially the blood of a relatively nice guy who had done nothing to hurt her.

This was almost two weeks ago. It was then that she started to get the sense that something was wrong. And now… she knew exactly what.

But back then, she didn’t have all the intel. She only had what Eiji was willing to share. For the first time in their relationship, he seemed to be truly interested in her help. His instructions to Chitose were extremely hard to follow. She had to infiltrate Barracudas’ main office and get as much info on this Akane lady as possible. At first, Chitose thought that he was joking. It wasn’t an easy fit to sneak into a place guarded by one of the most fearsome mafia groups on the island. But when Eiji leaned towards her from the driver’s seat of his car and graced her cheek with his warm breath, Chitose felt her knees trembling.

“Please, Tatara-chan. Be a nice girl for me.”

A single kiss on the cheek sealed the deal. Now she was ready to die just to get a speck of his approval. Stupid, stupid girl… At least now she understood this.

She made it. She actually got into the heart of Barracudas’ operations. She would never share with anyone what she had to go through. There was no minute she felt safe. Not with Barracuda officers, not with Dwight, not even alone in the room he gave her. Scooping through the headquarters, she was finding more information about the situation with Akane. But nothing she saw there was as surprising as the appearance of Ichiban Kasuga.

His personality deeply shook her. At first, she naturally expected him to get furious, to harm her or let his two buddies do it for him. But he was… calm. Good-willing. Even stopped this Tomizawa guy from getting at her with his nosy questions. He offered his help in getting out, with just a simple expectation of guiding them through the building. Chitose had every doubt in his sincerity at first. But soon… soon she saw something she couldn’t forget or ignore. She saw the real Kasuga.

He was kind to everyone. Generous. He always tried to understand, not judge. It was as if, for him, there were no bad people in the world – there were just those he wasn’t on the same page with yet. This criminal named Ichiban Kasuga was everything the good guy Eiji never was. For her or for anyone.

Chitose fell hard. Once again, she found herself in love with her own perceived image of a human. But this time, this image wasn’t an avatar, it was real. A real, breathing human being she barely knew anything about. Every flaw she saw in him was turning into a hidden gem. He wasn’t stupid, he was honest. He wasn’t immature, he was energetic. The height and build she once found terrifying were now the reasons she found it hard to fall asleep at night. Just a thought of these big, strong arms holding her tight and pressing closer to this sculpted chest was enough for Chitose to elicit a barely audible moan. “Chi-chan,” said his imaginary voice in her head. No one ever called her that. It was weird at first, but soon she couldn’t get enough.

She felt that she needed to calm herself down. A relationship between an heiress of a wealthy family and an ex-yakuza was destined to head nowhere. With Eiji there was at least an illusion of a happily ever-after. With Ichiban there was nothing. He was old enough to be her dad, for god’s sake! Chitose had heard of the term “daddy issues” before, but only after watching Ichiban dive headlong into the ocean waves was she ready to admit she had some of her own.

Ichiban gave her everything she would never get from Eiji. Honesty. Acceptance. Approval. Sympathy. Wisdom, if one could call it this way. And what did she give him in return? Chitose sighed, looking pitifully at her image in the mirror.

Happiness just couldn’t last forever. Chitose realized this when she looked at the video platform profile she created for the clip of Ichiban. There were views, and likes, and comments. And a DM. Just one DM with a familiar avatar.

“Missed me much, Chitose?”

Of course, it was Eiji. He had been keeping an eye on them and now decided to join in. A humble smile, a clean look, a wheelchair… He looked so different from what Chitose was used to. But the core was the same. And she started seeing it as clear as day.

This was the moment Chitose finally realized what she’d lost because of Eiji. He gave her confidence, just to take it back whenever he needed to. He gave her strength, but only for it to be used in his interest. But what he’d taken altogether was the innocence and the faith in humankind. He even took Tatara, her alter-ego, and made it his puppet. She didn’t know this world was so cruel until she met Eiji. And she might have never known without him. But now it was too late to change a thing.

She betrayed Kasuga. She should have exposed Eiji from the very beginning, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. Recalling the list of consequences he promised her for treason, Chitose felt trapped. Her heart was ripping in half every second she was in the same room with Eiji. And when she finally shook the feeling off, it was too late to make things right.

“Ei-chan…” Kasuga said, looking at Eiji in confusion. In an instant, Chitose found herself barely seeing anything through a thick layer of tears.

Ei-chan… Even when the man betrayed him, putting his mother in danger, Kasuga couldn’t bring himself to hate the bastard. He looked confused, not saddened or furious. And for Chitose this was the last straw.

She would never be able to look Ichiban Kasuga in the eye. Knowing what she did to him. Again, and again, and again… She felt like the worst kind of person ever existing. A traitor to everything she believed to be good and admirable. A foolish girl played by someone bigger and better at the game. So, so much better…

Chitose lowered her gaze, so hard it was to keep staring at what she’d become. She used to be so different from this version of herself. She valued honesty over the facade, comfort over looks. She used to wear clothes because she liked them and not because they made her waist look unrealistically thin. She used to be so comfortable with short hair instead of these annoying braids…

The last thought truly caught her attention. She remembered that first meeting with Eiji, that first look of his, and those first words:

”I didn't expect you being this…”

Now she knew what they meant. These were the words that made her change herself. Her image, her life, everything around her. Including these long braided strands, she couldn’t keep her eyes off.

Chitose’s fingers combed through her hair almost intuitively. A second – and she dug the very tips into the intricate braiding on the side. She freed her hair and combed through it once again. And then her hand reached out to the scissors on the shelf. Strand after strand, the long pitch-black hair started falling into the sink, taking away the persona Eiji had been imposing over her own for so long…

When Chitose was done, the girl in the mirror truly seemed like a different person. A grown-up woman, but with a soft flair of the innocence she used to possess. Her eyes were glistening with tears of grief and happiness. She was finally free. Her mind was free of the ideas Eiji had installed. Her image in the mirror was free from his influence. It was Chitose’s turn, and she would be the one to show: she was no longer afraid of Eiji. That time was gone. Now she was stronger and wiser. And not for Eiji’s benefit.

“I’m sorry, mom,” Chitose said out loud. “I will tell you everything one day. But let me have just one more chance to become myself. I will be wiser this time. I promise.”

things you should totes not view as positive portrayals of love/romance:

the great gatsby

romeo & juliet

the phantom of the opera

Here’s a cool trick to see if a man actually respects you: try disagreeing with him

Stop dating abusive women 2018

“Opposites attract” should be reserved for like “she’s messy and he’s neat!” Not like “she’s supportive and he’s a soul-sucking toxic person!”

one of my biggest pet peeves is when people are like, “i don’t care, my significant other can go through my phone. i have nothing to hide.” 

okay. first of all.

wanting a partner to respect your privacy doesn’t necessarily go hand in hand with “having something to hide.” maybe you’d just prefer that they trust you without putting you under surveillance like a fucking prisoner? 

second.

it’s not only your privacy. if you’re cool with that shit, i really hope you’re informing all your friends and family members who discuss their personal lives with you that they should be prepared for your shitty SO to read through all their messages to you, but i’m betting you’re not doing that. 

maybe your bestie from high school doesn’t want your boyfriend seeing her emotional messages about her recent breakup? maybe your sister doesn’t want him reading her messages about struggles with her kids or her marriage? maybe your friend with mental health issues isn’t counting on you sharing their struggles with anyone else? 

maybe you should grow up and realize that if your partner loves and respects you, they’ll believe you have nothing to hide without checking for themself. 

I wanted to love you so bad

Even years later, after all the hurt you put me through, all the shitty things you did, sometimes I still wonder

I wonder if I could've made you love me

If I let you touch me, control me, cheat and lie and selfishly have your way with me

Maybe I could've felt loved

Maybe I could've kept loving you too

I'd do anything to feel love like that again

Yall mean the same men that were enabling them and some that seemed to have feeding kinks and didn't care that their girls were quite literally playing with death. I'll be honest I'm not thin( 150 at 4'11) but I would never take this as any sort of complement. Let's not forget that one episode where that girl's boyfriend dumped her for losing weight. A lot of these men were some sick folks. The women too, cause some of them continued to feed their partners the wrong diets or gave them junkfood when they were hungry. So many of these partners were abusive, fat fetishist, and would distance themselves when their partners started to lose weight. Now, there were a few good relationshipsbut this does NOT mean that we should be idolizing my 600 pound life relationships. I don't agree with women getting plastic surgery to change who they are but putting them down and putting my 600 pound life couples on a pedestalis wild and disgusting. If you find yourself agreeing that this was something to be praised then you need to look into yourself, cause baby thats not love .While this may be true about them all having "someone", the actual truth behind "why" this is true, does hurt. It's not out of jealousy or envy or whatever the hell else you'll probably say. It's out of pure observation, empathy, and downright common sense! Between distancing themselves, sabotaging their significant other, or even pressuring them into sabotaging themselves, this shit was NOT cute. So please, idolize an ACTUAL healthy relationship 🌸

StaticMoth Abuse

Featuring mentions of Angel Dust's relationship with Val

TW: ABUSE, SA

SPOILERS AHEAD ↓

Here's a fact. Vox is not being abused by Valentino.

This fandom is so deep in fanon content that it heavily intertwines with canon. But let's try to understand where Val abusing Vox came from, why it's not true and how it correlates to Angel Dust's relationship with Val.

Let's begin:

In the, now archived, posts on Instagram (or voxtagram), it was revealed that Vox and Val were in a situation-ship, and canon officially confirmed it.

Now, Val as a character is heavily hated and for good reasons while Vox is not. Many people adore Vox and for that, his relationship with Val can be conflicting, adding a bit of difficulty in justifying their like for him.

Here's where Valentino's relationship with Angel Dust comes in.

Val has been shown to be abusive and to SA Angel Dust. First example of that being the Addict music video.

This has created the need for people to give a reason behind Vox's relationship with Val and make excuses for him so they can validate their favoritism.

"Val is so awful! He must be abusing Vox! Breaking his screen and whatnot!"

What people don't take into consideration is the difference in their power imbalance or lack thereof.

One of the core factors in Angel Dust's relationship with Val is the power difference between them.

Val is an overlord while Angel is a sinner.

A sinner that signed a contract with Val and gave his soul. That alone makes their dynamic vastly different. Val feels it's within his right to abuse Angel, to test his limits until he breaks. And up until episode 4, Angel believed he deserved it because whatever Val did to have him sign the contract must have been his fault. Although that's not true, Angel felt so. Heck, he wanted to break himself so that Val would let him go.

Vox and Val, on the other hand, don't have that. Both of them are overlords.

They are on equal footing. There is no power imbalance. In fact, the Vees could have not existed and both Vox and Val, including Velvette, would be completely fine without each other and continue to have their respective overlord status.

The reason it exists is exploitation.

All three can and do use each other so they can have a more powerful front. A mutual alliance of exploitation. Within this, they have created their own fucked up bond. As a result of that, Val and Vox have an on-again, off-again relationship. It's far from healthy, but it's not an abusive one.

Vox knows of Valentino's behavior but as long as it's not effecting their shared partnership, he will not interfere nor will he care about it.

Or maybe the next seasons will give me the middle finger and I'm completely wrong. Who knows? I just read a fic and saw posts about Vox being abused by Val and wanted to give my two cents on the topic.