Warning Signs - Tumblr Posts
Jesus has a place for me, a life of sin and infamy
When I met him, I was certain I had found my soulmate.
I was a miserable teenager; I was always unhappy and never understood why. I think I understand better now, but that’s a post for another day or blog.
He presented himself as exactly what I needed. He had a shaved head, with piercings all over his face, a leather motorcycle jacket and chain on his wallet. When he found me I was in ripped fishnets and my catholic school skirt at a bar underage. We were wasted, and convinced it was fate.
He introduced me to ‘real’ punk: Dead Kennedy’s, Choking Victim/Leftover Crack, F-Minus, Pistolgrip, etc. He told me he found solace in punk when his home life turned sour in his early teens. This music aligned with everything I was feeling (angst, restlessness, anger) and hated everything I hated: in short, boo discrimination and establishment, yay liberty from the reign of old white men.
I felt I had hit the jackpot. I had met a handsome bad boy who was just my type at the time. He was a rebel who’s views mirrored mine (so I thought), who stood for something. And he was absolutely mad about me. He spent his last $10 on me. He would send me songs that he knew would tug at my heart - “Who wouldn’t be the one you love” from the Pumpkins - and draw us bubble baths. He scraped together what little money he had and bought me a ring - the one I just recently took off - and told me that one day he’d marry me. He wanted us to live for one another. He called me his saving grace, “the one”, his beauty, his reason.
I remember distinctly thinking that I would take a bullet for him. I was inconsolably in love.
The first incident occurred within the first two months of us being together officially. However, I chalked it up to a stressful home life, and with the stuff above, found it easy to ignore him screaming at me.
He was testing my boundaries.
Little by little it all ebbed away. All of it. The kindness, the rebellious spirit, the spontaneity, the love, even the values I thought he and I shared.
This all seems… so long ago, but I put on a song today that I haven’t heard in years. It took me back. Back to when I didn’t see him as a monster.
All Powerful Azzy the Protector
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Welcome to year 2017 everybody, and may it be a good one! This is my Secret Santa gift to @emeraldlazers and I hope that they like it! We’re both part of the @undertale-dating-simulator and it’s been awesome working on it.
So, prepare for almost 1k words of fluff (with light foreshadowing and some somber undertones) between Chara and Asriel! I hope I did both of their characters justice.
Asriel glanced over at Chara, sitting up on their bed with their legs crossed, idly waving them side to side as they studied a monster history book. He ducked his head to hide a smile as Chara glanced up sharply, trying not to let them see how much the sight of them comfortable and at ease made him happy. They were constantly tense, on guard and wary, as if they were always expecting a blow or an attack to come whenever they relaxed. It hurt his soul to see them hurt, but everything within him felt lighter when they were happy.
Chara was happy, here, and they were slowly showing it to the world. It had been over half a year since they had fallen, and watching them slowly bloom under their love was amazing. Sure, Chara still didn't seem to always trust it or believe it, seemed to think they needed to earn the affection or that it was just a trap or a lie, but Asriel could see how much it meant to them, how much they were letting themselves start to be happy.
He could see, because he watched them a lot. He had been careful in the beginning, worried that he might accidently hurt them. His first memory of them would haunt him always, seeing their bruised and bloody form lying on the cold cave floor. Those first few days, as he helped them to Home and as they healed and limped around the house, he had been terrified that he might break them, cause that weird red liquid to spill out again and the nasty discolorations to pop up all over their fair skin.
Now, though, he knew how tough they were. He saw how proud they acted, how self-sufficient they were, how determined they were not to let anything slow them down. Asriel was awed at how cool they were, so very happy that they were his friend – his friend!!! Chara had been wary of him at first, which he understood because he was a very scary monster! He was terrifying to all his foes, and no doubt Chara had been worried that he might try to take revenge on them!
Asriel puffed up his chest as he thought about how tough he was, how tough he'd have to be to take care of all the monsters one day when he became the King, how tough he'd need to be to make sure Chara was safe-
"Hey, Prince Puffy-Paws." Asriel's breath left him in a woosh as Chara spoke and he froze. "You're thinking about being the God of Hyperdeath again." Asriel laughed nervously as he rubbed at his ears.
"What- no, Chara! I'm just, uh," he cast his eyes around desperately, looking for a distraction, any distraction, and spotting nothing.
"You were, weren't you." Chara flipped over off of the bed, coming up beside Asriel and poking him in the chest. He squeaked and fell backward, waving his arms wildly as he tried and failed to catch his balance. He landed with a thump on the floor as Chara laughed, the dark edge behind their laughter ever-present, but it was covered by their genuine happiness, so Asriel didn't mind being the butt of their joke. Much.
"All-powerful Azzy, huh." They reach down and ruffle his ears, and Asriel can't help but beam up at them. "That's a pretty powerful thought." They look pretty thoughtful indeed, a contemplative look on their face as they glance back at their history book. Asriel felt warmth glow in his chest at their interest in his culture, and in thinking so much about him being strong.
"What would you do with all that power, Azzy?" Chara snickered as he failed to sit up properly, trapping him against the floor. "What would you do? Take revenge on the mean old humans?"
"What- no!" Asriel shouted, stopping all attempts to get up and instead pulling Chara down beside him. They squeaked, but he just carefully pulled them down to lie on the floor beside him. He was careful as they froze for several seconds, but a true smile broke across their face. "I'm going to use my power to protect you, and everyone in the Underground!"
Asriel stared at them firmly, trying to convey just how serious he was. They seemed trapped in his gaze, breath caught as they listened to him. "When I have the power, I'm going to make everyone happy, make you happy. I'm going to make sure everyone is safe and protected, and then I'm going to give everybody their freedom. I'll be strong enough to save everyone, to make sure that everyone can live good lives, can stand strong and proud without fear! With you by my side, there's nothing we won't be able to do!"
Asriel didn't think he'd ever seen such a soft look on Chara's face before. It transformed them, made them appear even more beautiful in his eyes. It was such an open emotion, antithesis to almost all expressions they dared to show. The goat prince blushed as he saw the wonder, admiration, and awe on the face of his best friend. He wrapped a paw around his special locket and fought the urge to look down, making sure Chara knew he was serious.
"I'm going to make you proud, Chara," he whispered. "You, and mom, and dad, and Gerson, and everyone else – I'm going to make sure that we'll all be okay." He leaned forward, gently bumping his forehead into Chara's, mindful of his tiny horns. "Together, we'll be able to do anything, right?"
Chara sighs and slowly closes their eyes, leaning forward until their breaths mingled. Asriel closed his eyes as well, just breathing in the closeness of his closest friend, letting happiness flood his soul. "Yeah, Azzie. We'll save everyone together."
Signs of Abuse and Trauma in Children
No one discovered my abuse or stepped in. I went many years without being correctly dx'd and without my trauma being recognized. I've had to do all of the work to heal as an adult due to events that could have been stopped before. A huge part of the problem is that many people don't know how to recognize signs of abuse or symptoms of trauma in children.
1. Changes in behavior
2. Returning to earlier behaviors (regression)
3. Fear of going home (or to another place)
4. Changes in eating
5. Changes in sleeping
6. Changes in school performance/attendance
7. Lack of personal care or hygiene - or excessive bathing
8. Risk-taking behaviors
9. Inappropriate sexual behaviors
10. Unexplained injuries
Physical signs:
Sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
Signs of trauma to the genital area
Behavioral signs:
Excessive talk about or knowledge of sexual topics
Keeping secrets; not talking as much as usual
Not wanting to be left alone with certain people or being afraid to be away from caregivers
Regressive behaviors
Overly compliant behavior
Sexual behavior that is inappropriate for the child’s age
Spending an unusual amount of time alone
Trying to avoid removing clothing to change or bathe
Emotional signs:
Change in eating habits
Change in mood or personality, such as increased aggression
Decrease in confidence or self-image
Excessive worry or fearfulness
Increase in unexplained health problems such as stomach aches and headaches
Loss or decrease in interest in school, activities, and friends
Nightmares or fear of being alone at night
Self-harming behaviors
Additionally, don't expect a child to disclose abuse on their own. 86% of CSA is NEVER reported, and the average age of disclosing CSA is well into adulthood. This is often because 90% of cases are perpetrated by someone the child knows such as a caregiver or relative. It is also common for children to be threatened and afraid of telling on their abuser. They may even believe they are responsible for their own abuse.
Fellow followers pls stay home or defend yourself on April 24! it’s going to be chaotic for all women and children! make sure to share this with your friends and spread the message!!!!! 🙏❤️
I haven't seen a single post covering this but here it goes-
Apparently April 24th is being called "National R@pe Day", a trend started on TikTok, all women and children are being urged to stay indoors during that day due to the threat. The 'Trend' was started by 6 men.
So yeah, please be safe out there, stay armed, carry a knife, pepper spray or a gun if you can, protect yourselves and be extremely cautious.
So I don’t know why i’m posting this because maybe 2 people will actually pass it along, but you should read it if the above conversation made you feel uneasy, because it should have. This is an actual conversation I had with a guy I used to work with. Notice how he’s insisting on doing these nice things for me, even when I’ve made it perfectly clear that i’d prefer if he didn’t. He doesn’t want to do those things for me, he wants to do those things to display his generosity and so that I feel like I owe him.
Also, the fact that he felt the need to congratulate me for not thinking too highly of valentine’s day was really difficult for me to process. I don’t even know how to explain how condescending that is. Like I should be proud of myself for breaking the feminine mold. Ugh.
And then, that “you may have nothing to do with me” bullshit. He’s trying to make me feel guilty for not liking him. He’s being melodramatic to make me feel bad for him, like I’ve done something wrong. This is perhaps the most common form of manipulation and it’s infuriating.
Everything i’ve pointed out in this post is just a fraction of some of the common warning signs of an abusive partner that I got right off of a Women’s Shelter’s website. Basically though, if at any point in talking to a guy you feel manipulated or sort of skeevy, don’t be afraid to shut him right down. If you feel weird about it, it’s for a reason. You’re not being overly-picky, and you’re standards are certainly not too high; listen to your instincts, don’t respond! Walk away!
Now, I have no feelings at all for this guy, so it was fairly easy for me to discover all that was wrong with this interaction. But it’s a lot harder to recognize and then accept these behaviors as wrong when you actually like the guy, so do yourself a favor and learn the signs of an abusive parter to give yourself a predisposition that’ll help you detect common manipulations like these.
Early warning signs of an abuser
Gather round kids while I explain this manipulation tactic that men perpetually try to use and why it’s bullshit.
If someone is openly showing interest in you by making disparaging or disappointed comments about your age, they’re trying to put you on the defensive. This guy wants me to try to quell his discomfort, to bring up that I’m only a month shy of 20, etc. - he wants me to try to prove myself to him, that I’m mature and adult enough for a man like him.
His goal is to establish a power imbalance right off the bat. If we were to date, I would constantly be on the defensive, constantly striving to be an equal, constantly trying to prove my “adult” credentials. Anything he says or does or wants from this point on that I object to would just be seen as a strike against my age, proof that he was right and that I’m not mature enough for him. This is how SO MANY men pressure younger individuals (primarily women and girls) into situations and relationships they aren’t comfortable with. If he truly thought I was too young for him, he wouldn’t have messaged me. This is a very calculated move, and it’s fucking gross.
Adult relationships with age gaps are completely fine, but only if all parties view each other as equals. If someone is trying to set you up in a way that ensures that’s never a possibility, run far away.
What I mean when I say "toxic monogamy culture"
the normalization of jealousy as an indicator of love
the idea that a sufficiently intense love is enough to overcome any practical incompatibilities
the idea that you should meet your partner’s every need, and if you don’t, you’re either inadequate or they’re too needy
the idea that a sufficiently intense love should cause you to cease to be attracted to anyone else
the idea that commitment is synonymous with exclusivity
the idea that marriage and children are the only valid teleological justifications for being committed to a relationship
the idea that your insecurities are always your partner’s responsibility to tip-toe around and never your responsibility to work on
the idea that your value to a partner is directly proportional to the amount of time and energy they spend on you, and it is in zero-sum competition with everything else they value in life
the idea that being of value to a partner should always make up a large chunk of how you value yourself
Saw this somewhere else and felt the need to post it cause no one else ever really tells you this stuff
Here’s a cool trick to see if a man actually respects you: try disagreeing with him
hey, here’s a radical idea: someone saying “no” when you ask for sex is never an act of abuse, and saying otherwise in a conversation about rape victims is deplorable.
if there are other things that were done to you that were abusive, your trauma is always valid. but “not having sex with me” can never be added to the abuser’s list of offenses, because you are never owed sex.
if your partner says the reason they said ‘no’ was that you’re ugly, or stupid, or any number of demoralizing things- that is an act of abuse. but the act of abuse is in attacking your sense of self worth, and not in refusing sex.
the abusive act is that your abuser attributed their ‘no’ to a supposed lack of worthiness on your part. but denying sex in itself is never an act of abuse. when this occurs, you point out that you had your self worth attacked.
you don’t go around preaching that saying ‘no’ to sex is an abuse tactic, and you especially don’t do it in the chronological middle of a discussion regarding people being pressured into sex.
Lucky to have been able to see this- from my bedroom window! It’s rare enough for the moon to pass my line of sight from the comfort of my bed, (happens once or twice a year) but I have NEVER seen this phenomenon. Absolutely incredible.
Its important to know a toxic sign in your relationship. Its kinda why i dont ship the love Square romantically anymore
Its literally been a month since I saw this and I'm still pissed about it
"Adrien haters stop projecting your trauma onto the characters challenge"
Have you ever considered the reason people project their trauma onto these characters is because they see abusive patterns in them?
I've been stalked and sexually harassed.
Marinette's pulldown schedule? Stalking. Its played off for jokes but that still doesn't make it ok. Don't normalize it.
And I'm sick of people acting like Adrien's abuse or his "love" for LB makes his treatment of her magically ok.
Abusers aren't mean 100% of the time. They put on a nice face around other people and they do nice things for their victims, both to lure them in and manipulate them. "I can't be an abuser, an abuser wouldn't do XYZ nice thing for you!!"
Stop acting like this is some game where a nice action excuses or out-does a cruel one.
Stop normalizing abuse.
Listen to abuse victims when they tell you they see a pattern.
Clowns on this post are getting blocked, consider yourself warned.
Cautionary Comic - By ME