Who I Was In Love With Years Ago - Tumblr Posts

Watching Our Friendship Dissolve From The Cheap Seats

It’s easy to brush off your face

as an uncanny valley;

deep crevasses ripple down your forehead

like I’ve seen before,

a thousand times in the mirror.

.

Yes, it would be simple

to write a story

between those creased lines—

using lies to define the truth,

and turn a character into you—

but what a writer doesn’t know

could fill a book.

.

Or at least the rocky canyon space

I keep shoveling between us.

(I’ve worked so hard

to make reaching me

a pit you must climb out of,

though I can think of no reason

to attempt crossing.)

If this is what digging two graves is like,

why am I filling both?

.

I thought

I played you well;

I thought

this was winning.

.

“You must be unreliably reliant

If you are to get the upper hand.

Defiance and obedience

are both so easy to turn,

but one who deals

a mixed game

is almost certainly

a match

for their opponent.”

.

You say,

“Is that what you think?

This is a game?”

.

I reply,

“It always has been.”

.

And I watch as

your worn-out shoes

match your expression

and thump away,

feeling each concrete step

as a blow

hitting

my

stomach.

.

I haven’t lost a game;

I’ve lost my friend.

.

Regret will come later,

ready to greet me

like a lingering lover

striving to win

me back.

.

I hope

I can make this regret feel regret,

but at this point,

when will I settle for someone

who loves me?

.

And regret

knows me so well.

~King Best