Why Did You Have To Remind Me Of Such Horid Memories In The Tags - Tumblr Posts

It’s just that, in Faith, Dean thinks he’s going to die, and he’s braced for it, and when he lives, it’s only because someone else died in his place. And then, in In My Time of Dying, it happens again, and it’s even worse this time because that’s his father who died for him. So by the time All Hell Breaks Loose rolls around, of course Dean sacrifices himself: he’s already living on borrowed time, after all, but Sam? Sam is only here because he was dragged back into this life—he deserves to have the chance to leave it behind again, for good this time.

And sure, faced with the consequences, Dean can see that he doesn’t deserve it—not to die, and certainly not to go to hell—but he still believes that it’s better this way: better him than Sam, even if it would be best if it was no one at all.

But it has to be someone, and so Dean is dragged to hell, and after thirty years on the rack, Dean breaks—and after ten more, when he wakes up in his grave and pushes his way to the surface, he thinks that maybe he deserved it after all, maybe he deserved every bit of torture dealt to him and more.

And then he meets an angel, and the angel tells him that he was the one to raise him from hell, and the angel wonders at the fact that Dean doesn’t think he deserves to be saved, because even after everything, he sees something beautiful in Dean Winchester, something worth preserving. And the angel believes in Dean so much that he can’t help but start believing in himself again, just a little.