Woe Sayori Introspection Upon Ye Bet You Didnt Expect Something This Emotionally Complex From The Clumsy One /lh - Tumblr Posts
H : HEART. › annnnd for sayori!
Valentine Alphabet! // Always Accepting! (even if its not valentines day anymore)
H : HEART. is your muse quick or slow to give their heart away?
Any surprise if I said both? ━ Sayori's definitely the type of character you'd expect to be very quick at giving her heart away, honestly. She falls into all the ❛ goofy, hopelessly romantic, 'bound to get her heart broken' ❜ cliche typing, and that is almost true, but its still only half of it.
Sayori is definitely someone who half-believes in love at first sight, or rather is just particularly prone to infatuation ( and especially vulnerable to the slip-up of mistaking adrenaline for love which in spite of she's never quite gotten the memo to stop going on dates to things like horror movies or haunted houses. an unfortunate interest to have paired with the aforementioned reoccurring problem ) but its somewhat surface-deep, and if nothing else she's at least distantly aware of that more often than not so while she may be heart-eyed, a little too eager, and clumsier than ever ( she, unintentionally, really plays into the trope of a lovesick girl ) she understands its inevitable when the infatuation dovetails into care, sure, but not love. which actually leads her to having much more dating experience than you'd expect with how many people she can fall for and how many she's still friends with.
Though, when it comes to the genuine, vulnerable, fleshy love that comes with long-term relationships, it's like night and day. she often will refuse to truly give her heart away like that when the relationship deepens and will often try to revert to a lighthearted puppy-love or the status quo in efforts to avoid such confrontations of that. To put it in some kind of direct perspective, this was what she was doing when in reference to her crush on the MC. She was reverting to the status quo despite harboring those deeper-than-surface-level feelings for a damn long time and their status quo in a relationship was simple childhood friends. So, while it was at least somewhat painful, it was still how Sayori would innately cope with genuine love ━ or the potential of a deeper romantic relationship ━ while being afraid of it for a lot of different overlapping reasons, including how she sees herself, her mental health, and so on.
She's also very aware that she can't ask someone she loves to take the responsibility of 'fixing' her or tolerate her issues when it's on her to work on as a person since its her mental illness and no fairytale romance can or will change that, which adds to everything. she understands even if its so inherent to her it goes without saying that relationships are built upon individuals and the two together, and as such each individual has to take responsibility, and she doesn't want to be someone elses responsibility : she wants to be someone they love, and someone the other person works with to build up a functioning dynamic with without needing to repair her as well.
it's not just about seeing herself as a burden even if she does undersell her importance to those around her, it's about being okay enough to be loved in a way that lasts, and letting herself be okay with being loved like that. Accepting it. It scares her, and she worries about it, so she reverts to the same lighter tricks, but with enough time and the right person or people, she'll be the one to come closer. ━ Sayori's got a big heart, you just have to trust her when waiting for her to give it to you.