Alvarez: Aww, Hes So Cute

Alvarez: aww, he’s so cute

Jeremy: thanks, he’s a rescue!

Jean: stop telling people that

I just remembered one time in like sixth or seventh grade (we had the same teachers and class both years so hard to remember which) somehow we got into a debate of “who is better, boys or girls?” and instead of stepping in to stop it our teacher formalized it and egged us on by providing thoughtful prompts and counters to each side and by the end each group had built a barricade of desks on either side of the classroom and we were throwing balls of paper at each other and screaming about personal hygiene while our teacher just watched and enjoyed a Baby Ruth candy bar.

the r/curatedtumblr -> tumblr migration is so funny to me. it's like going to the zoo and enjoying it so much you climb into the enclosure to live with the monkeys

"Link is basically unrecognised like Tony Hawk" is WAY funnier when you realise his face is plastered on hundreds of posters both from people who want to find him and a cult that is utterly obsessed with him

(eustace learning about the pevensies' past narnia adventures)

eustace: wait so if peter was a sophomore back then how old was he

eustace, to edmund: how old were you?

eustace:

eustace: how old are you now?

edmund: not as young as we once were but not as old as you might think

eustace: okay that was frustratingly vague

eustace, to lucy: how old are you?

lucy: i'm seventeen

eustace: see? that's an answer. that's how we answer people

lucy: well seventeen in how you would measure in years

eustace: alright i'm just gonna drop it

Crab Day

okay, so here's a new info post from the top.

the problem: tumblr is extremely extremely in debt. the current model is not profitable. this is why they are trying to turn the site into a shit clone of every other social media site, so they can attract new users and their money.

solution: not a ton of people can afford a long-term subscriptions like ad-free. however, many of us CAN afford $3 to inflict crabs on another unsuspecting user. (and those that can't, can still enjoy crabs everywhere)

the idea: in the grand traditions of mishapocalypses and goncharovs and tumblr users' obsession with [random inconsequential thing] Days, we create a fund drive/holiday on July 29th, dubbed Crab Day. buy your friends crabs. buy your enemies crabs. blaze posts. post memes. change ur icon. whatever. actually put your money where your mouth is and show @staff that there actually IS profit motive to listen to the current users about what we want this site to look like. (and yes, that means accessibility features too. we currently have zero leverage to demand these features. let's change that.)

i don't know if this will actually go anywhere. worst case scenario, a few of us have fun, tumblr gets a small amount of money, and nothing changes. best case though, we actually provide incentive to keep our stupid hellsite unique.