Based Off This Textpost I Made Wee ==Click For Better Quality, Compression's A Bitch!!

Based off this textpost I made wee == Click for better quality, compression's a bitch!!

Twisted Wonderland as Dumb Things We Say~

Part 1~ You can tell I got tired at the end, dear god. Quality will be better when I get sleep!

From the Discord, we're all mentally ill over there, it's a fun time. Join if you want :p

HifuDo is mental. They're an established relationship but they're still painfully pining for each other. They're in that stage where they each have (not actually) unrequited love for each other and think that the other does not feel the same. But they're married.

And it drives me insane.

“Kao-kun got rabies and died.” 

That surely came out of left field. 

=== Rei has a very Ritsu Sakuma shaped problem and he might have to begrudgingly turn to an old rival to fix it. However, a current situation at school is captivating his interest the moment he enters the classroom. 

Koga doesn’t understand why he needs to learn math or tag along with Hakaze to school, but the lone wolf ends up not being so alone when approached with the oddest people he’s ever met and he lives with Hakaze.  === Chapter 2 Release~ Chapter 1

Characters: Kaoru Hakaze, Koga Oogami, Rei Sakuma, Ritsu Sakuma, Eichi Tenshouin, Subaru Akehoshi, Mao Isara, Wataru HIbiki, Makoto Yuuki, Hokuto Hidaka, Chiaki Morisawa, Izumi Sena (rest will be tagged as they appear Relationships: Kaoru Hakaze/Rei Sakuma, Koga Oogami/Ritsu Sakuma, Subaru Akehoshi/Hokuto Hidaka (background), Eichi Tenshouin/Wataru Hibiki (background)

Word Count: 16, 746 [Chapters 1 + 2]

Haha, for my birthday I pass my mental illness onto everyone else.

HifuDo Headcanons

Hifumi used to stretch out his arms towards Doppo at the entrance of their apartment when the man came home from work.

He did it initially as a joke but now it's a test: If Doppo swats him away, the man had an okay- only slightly gruelish day at work, if Doppo sinks into his arms, it's been a bad day and Hifumi holds him for a while before tucking him into bed before heading to work.

Hifumi loves any picture of Doppo, especially candid photos. He smiles like a goof at them on his phone.

And then when he eagerly shows other people the pics, they're like "wtf he looks dead" and Hifumi's like "!! that's a part of the charm tho!!! hes so cute!?!"

In high school, they would have something like a confessions twitter, and Hifumi would receive so many confessions on the account.

Doppo was unsettled by this and Hifumi assumed it was because he was jealous and he started sending confessions about Doppo to make him feel better about it. Doppo isn't sure how to feel about the anonymous confessions but he pretends to be grateful for Hifumi's sake, making Hifumi feel something. [He's about to be jealous of himself, oh my god]. Doppo sends confessions to the account, but they're so detailed and sincere that he think he'd rather die before Hifumi finds out. Hifumi usually starts being more earnest trying to get Doppo to realise but everything just seems to fly over that man's head. They don't talk about it ever after so that's their little secrets locked in their head to this day.

Doppo, on whims, sends selfies to Hifumi. Mainly because he thinks the other will like it. He often gets too embarrassed and deletes them, but Hifumi archives all of them on his phone~

Hifumi has gotten trouble before for gushing too much about Doppo to his guests.

He can't help it because he likes talking about Doppo, but when asked further questions he denies that Doppo's just a friend but says that they're not partners, thoroughly confusing everyone who asks. His boss sat him down saying that it's not that much of a turn-on for people to figure out their host won't shut up about their husband.

Doppo likes it when Hifumi strokes his hair and falls asleep faster when he does so.

Hifumi tries to sneak into Doppo's bed, who often wakes up in the middle of the night due to fits of restlessness so he notices.

...He waits 'till he's sure Hifumi's asleep and then cuddles him until he gets up to go to work.

Hifumi, while doing laundry, decided to put on Doppo's office jacket as a joke and waved it in front of Doppo.

Doppo, annoyed, decided to wear Hifumi's jacket in vengeance (as one does). The jacket's thicker than his office one and his hands peek out the sleeve and Hifumi proceeds to die. [Also the reason why Hifumi tries to put the jacket on Doppo whenever he can]

Doppo was so tired he couldn't see what shampoo he was using and ends up using Hifumi's.

Hifumi is ecstatic that Doppo is going around smelling like him and tries to sneak more of his products into Doppo's daily routine while the other calls him a weirdo. [And if Doppo uses some of those products permanently? Nobody's business.]

Doppo's little brother used to think Hifumi was the weirdest mfer ever.

Hifumi tries to get close to him really early on because he's Doppochin's little bro, but said brother usually gets put off and hides himself whenever Hifumi comes over. He has a change of heart earlier when Doppo earnestly tells him how happy Hifumi makes him and that's enough to like Hifumi. Also, yeah, they go shopping together for Doppo's birthday and Christmas presents.

Hifumi likes cupping Doppo's face in his hand, mostly because he looks adorable-- with his face squished like that. Secondly, because Hifumi likes physical contact so he tries to by any possible means, to fix Doppo's hair, to direct his attention somewhere, when flirting, etc.

Doppo never has to use any force when grabbing Hifumi's hand or leading him anywhere.

Anything as light as a tug on Hifumi's sleeve or even grabbing a finger is enough for Hifumi to follow him anywhere.

Doppo would never say any of the embarassing things that Hifumi does in public and to Doppo's face. But when Doppo's alone with other people, all he can manage is mention Hifumi every few sentences.

When Doppo gets new acquaintances, Hifumi goes into hawk surveillance mode to make sure they have good intentions because he absolutely rock someone's shit if they don't.

Hifumi has two thoughts: He wants everybody to see how cool Doppochin is, He doesn't want people to be too close to Doppochin because that's Hifumi's spot.

Sometimes work drains Hifumi and he needs to recharge. Usually cracking the door open and seeing Doppo sleeping, so peaceful and calm, is able to make him feel better. [And if he slips in too, then...]

One time that Doppo tries to make lunch for Hifumi, but literally ends up burning everything, switching sugar for salt, using the wrong ingredients, and other war crimes and atrocities to food.

Hifumi busts out laughing when he sees Doppo sulking at the table with abomination plated on nice dishes. He does end up sitting down and eating it for Doppo's sake, telling him its really good (it tastes like ashes and misery). Doppo ends up going to Rio to ask for advice, rejecting Hifumi's offer to teach him, and Samatoki and Jyuto look at him like he's insane.

Hifumi can flirt very well with Doppo in host mode but a little less so regularly because he just doesn't think to be smooth. He just blurts whatever comes out of his mouth and its cheesy and sappy as hell naturally.

God forbid Doppo ever pull out a move on Hifumi, he would disintegrate.

Doppo has seen some of his coworkers with cheesy romance novels when they think the boss isn't looking. He looks down on them at first, but he does end up picking them up.

He desperately hides it from Hifumi because explaining that would be a pain. And occasionally he thinks about using some of the lines and scenarios, but often flakes out on them. Hifumi finds the book on the counter because Doppo left it there in a hurry. So guess who recreates them? Doppo's going to dig a grave and bury himself in it.

Haha,,, thinks about them a lot,,, Some of these are from my one Hifudo fic Playin' With Our Hearts-- Perfect Combo!

Some are frooom other fics that I have drafted and some are just bc im mentally ill, hey.

[Sketchie's Fandom Archives || Archive of Everything I've Done~]

Marine Bio Headcanons

Mental illness held me in a vice grip because I cannot stop thinking about the marine biology club. interacting. OCEANS is a little family and you cannot tell me otherwise-

General Headcanons:

Kaoru likes pulling on the ribbon that holds Souma's hair up to tease him. If only every time he did it, he wouldn't have his nose nearly cut off by Souma's sword.

No matter how many times any of them towel him down, Kanata will be completely drenched the next minute.

When Souma isn't looking, Kaoru switches his homescreen to a goofy picture the group took at an aquarium in sea creature onesies and random aquarium merch.

Souma gripes at him for it before setting it back to an Akatsuki group pic but Kaoru notices that when the phone flashes with a notif later that Souma set the picture as his lock screen.

Kanata never yells but when he gets mad, the aura is absolutely menacing and everyone hurries to cheer him up.

Kanata likes showing Souma sea creatures the most (alongside Shinobu) because Souma responds with a childlike excitement and wonder, his eyes sparkling as he itches to name the next one he sees. He often thinks about how to bring up to Kuro and Keito that he wants to steal their child.

Kaoru likes nuzzling his head against dolphins like those trainers.

Kanata saw this and wanted to try and Kaoru moved aside thinking Kanata was going to nuzzle the dolphin. Instead, Kanata dived towards Kaoru and bumped their foreheads together, laughing.

Izumi is terrified of frogs and when Shinobu's chasing them, he often ends up running as well.

Shinobu was so scared to pet a dolphin but when Kanata guided his hand to its head, he now didn't want to leave it and the other three had to drag him out of the water.

Marine Bio Club (! era):

Kanata doesn't like parting with the sea creatures. Once Kaoru and Souma noticed that it was getting dark and tried to get Kanata to go home but he kept pouting, hugging various fish tanks as Karou and Souma have to pry him off.

Kanata likes initiating group hugs between the three of them and Souma and Kaoru try to stay the furthest away from each other.

Kaoru usually sputter something like, "Ew, I don't want to be near a man." And Souma replies, "Well, I don't want to be near a disgrace to society." Before they fight too much, Kanata just knocks their head together.

Kaoru liked jokingly asking Souma to make him a bento like Souma does for Adonis (Adonis does not stop talking about Souma during club meetups and Kaoru initially pays attention if only to make fun of them).

Souma thinks he's serious and vehemently refuses. This only makes Kaoru curious and when Souma's still stubborn about it, he claims that he can just steal some of Adonis' lunch to which Souma threatens to cut his head off like the ingrate he is.

Kanata likes taking the creatures out for 'walks' where he just picks up a bunch of them and piles them on his head and shoulders and just walks across the school grounds. Souma and Kaoru are running after him with as many fish tanks they can physically carry with them yelling at him to put them back.

Souma does not make Kaoru food but instead reluctantly offers to teach him how to make some of the dishes he uses. Kaoru uses them pretty frequently actually and in turn picked out a seafood recipe specifically that he knew and taught it to Souma, which the latter was extremely happy about!!

For someone who was so repulsed by males in his "I hate men, I'm not gay!" era, Kaoru shows a lot of physical affection towards these two, usually pinching Souma's cheek or ruffling and patting Kanata's head. Towards the latter half of the I era, he starts leaning his head on both when pointing or looking at things.

Kaoru accompanies Adonis to Akatsuki performances insisting that he's being a very good senior to his precious underclassman. He's really just curious about Souma's performances.

Souma doesn't believe that Kaoru goes to his performances because the man was suble about it, and says so when Kaoru mentions it in the clubroom later. Kaoru then makes it a mission to be the absolute loudest member in the audience. Keito and Kuro notice him and raise an eyebrow and Adonis is confused but is happy that Kaoru is supporting Souma so he just happily shakes the glowstick. At the end of the performance, Souma throws his fan towards the audience, square at Kaoru's face. Kaoru then threatens to keep it and they argue after the live. The next day after an UNDEAD live, Souma (who went to watch Adonis), Souma reluctantly compliments Kaoru on his performance as well.

Kanata likes patting Kaoru and Souma on the head- 1. to diffuse arguments between the two and 2. ever since Chiaki taught him what a headpat was, he's been obsessed with doing it to everyone.

Kaoru, at first, doesn't appreciate being touched by a man of all things, but he warms up to, and finds a lot of comfort in being patted on the head. Souma always likes being praised and he strives to get pet on the head. Jealousy over such praise often end up in more subdued passive aggressive arguments between the two and Kanata just uses both hands to tap them on the head, coddling them.

Kaoru likes staying as long as possible in the clubroom because he doesn't want to go home.

When Souma catches him, he says that he's doing it so that the fish aren't lonely. Souma doesn't believe that one bit but he argues that he can keep the fish company and stays there. Kanata joins in because he wants to stay with the fishies too. This isn't the last impromptu sleepover they'll ever have and by the sixth one, Kaoru is joking they should have matching onsies. Kanata's eyes sparkles and they literally cannot turn back. Souma gets a turtle onesie, Kaoru gets a dolphin one and Kanata gets a jellyfish one Souma and Kaoru bury their onesies in the back of their closets praying that it will never see the light of day outside the clubroom..

Once Kaoru's sister asked him to style her hair for a special occasion. Not really knowing anyone with longer hair than him, he asks Souma to style his hair as practice and Souma threatens to cut Kaoru's own with his sword.

Souma actually relents ,during an impromptu sleepover, when he figures out the reasoning and Kaoru feels like he's treading over a mine field as he braids Souma's hair. Kanata wanted to join in so he braid Kaoru's hair in little plaits and Souma ties Kanata's now short hair in a ponytail that sprouts from the top of his head.

Shinobu visited the marine bio club once and Souma showed him Kamegorou (the lil turtle!!!).

The turtle crawled on Shinobu, causing him to panic, but when Souma told him that Kamegorou like him, Shinobu didn't feel like getting the turtle off and made it a mission to not disturb it as much as possible. He almost left the room with Kamegorou still perched on his head.

Izumi, when he visited the marine bio club, just wanted to see what Kaoru found so interesting about it. When learning the tanks were open, he warns everyone to not let his clothes get wet.

Kaoru, who had his hands deep into a tank wading his arms around, then playfully flicks water at Izumi, and Izumi proceeds to ask Souma to borrow his sword.

OCEANS (!! era):

Souma spends a lot of time in the marine bio room in the school looking after the sea creatures. Shinobu helps him out because he feels an obligation to.

They spend the whole time gushing about turtles and frogs and have a competition to see who can name the most creatures.

Kaoru used to just soak in a lot of the info his mom rambled about during her work as a marine biologist.

Therefore, when they see a creature in an exhibit, he randomly decides to infodump on the animal. Izumi and Kanata are the only ones who know where such info comes from, so they listen intently. Souma and Shinobu just stare, confused, before turning to name the creature "Peppy" or something.

Kanata is fascinated by penguins.

They all went to the zoo and it took one momentary blink for the group to lose Kanata. Souma freaks when he catches sight of Kanata all the way down in the penguin pen, waddling his arms around alongside them. Shinobu is the first to voice his concern for his unitmate, albeit loudly. Kaoru's concerned, but the only sentiment he can let out is that it would be embarrassing to kicked out of a zoo of all places. Bystanders end up catching a glimpse of three teenagers scaling down a wall (they were trying to be discreet but Shinobu and Souma's yelling made it anything but) while Izumi is standing by the railing stuck in between calling out to them in concern and pretending he does. not know who they are. (He refused to ruin his clothes and Kaoru simply had to question that if he had clothes he didn't want to ruin, why did he bring them to the z o o ? )

Shinobu and Izumi catch wind of the onesies.

Kanata stated it pretty openly actually, sending the other two in a panic.

Shinobu, to their surprise, was very enthusiastic about it, wanting a frog onesie for himself.

Kanata happily got it for him and before Izumi could voice that he did not need one, Kaoru ordered him a penguin onesie.

Kanata wanted to wear them together but Kaoru figured that three people who graduated should not break into the school and stay there all night.

So they wear it on late nights in the aquarium and stay as long as it closes. (Sometimes they fall asleep on the floor and each other and get woken up by security, yikes)

Kaoru loves having another junior to tease so he likes messing with Shinobu as he did with Souma the year before (not that he would ever stop).

Shinobu doesn't know what's going on but he's not sure he likes it. Souma's always one to shove him away from Kaoru, shaking his head (no death threats this time tho!)

Shinobu once saw Kaoru surfing and praised his cool ninja-like moves.

When Shinobu lamented that he couldn't anything nearly as neat as surf as Kaoru did, Kaoru asked Shinobu to show him his ninja tricks which Shinobu happily obliged and now he regularly shows them to Kaoru.

Izumi had an intense fear of touching sea creatures at first.

The four of them, when they realised his hesitance, chanted around him in a circle to cheer him on to touch a baby seal at an exhibit. He eventually did and now he has a soft spots for baby seals.

Kanata is very proud of his junior unitmate for sharing his interest in the sea and spares no time in patting his head. Shinobu is happy that he is praised and the two have a stronger bond over the ocean. Kanata is very proud of his child :>

A dolphin, once at an exhibit, grabbed one of Izumi's loose jacket sleeves (This is why you actually wear your coat!) and wouldn't let it go.

After a brutal tug of war, Izumi lost. And was tugged into the water, leaving Kaoru hysterical, Shinobu concerned, and Souma trying to stop Kanata from jumping in alongside him.

Souma and Kaoru tag team to make a picnic for them on one of their aquarium visits.

Shinobu jumps into the kitchen wanting to help out, and he does with various ingredients and grabbing things for the two, but ends up clutching to the twos' arms when he's in front of an open flame (He's still scarred from Tetora's wreckless cooking bye). Izumi was about to help but all his nagging and comments about exact measurings and flavourings made Kaoru shoo him out the kitchen. Kanata's just there melting into the table, wondering when he can see the fishies (and eat them).

Shinobu convinced Souma to play hide and seek with him during aquarium visits.

Somehow, it ends up with the other three spending two hours trying to find them.

Marine Bio Club is one of my favourite groups ever for 7 years you guys don't understand oughdkhgfkh Izumi and Shinobu are such a perfect addition too!! I love this group and HappyEl has barely given us any content on the entire group but this is how they interact and nobody can tell me otherwise <3

More Enstars Headcanons:

Class 3-A || Class 3-B || Valkyrie Photoshoot || How the ES!! Boys Text {StarPro Edition}