Weve All Heard About People Who Cant Stop Farting When They Get Anxious. But I Wonder If It Could Ever

We’ve all heard about people who can’t stop farting when they get anxious. But I wonder if it could ever be a thing to get super gassy when you’re horny.

Like, if stress can give people bubble guts, maybe those wires could get crossed enough in the brain that a person can’t have feelings of arousal without also brewing up some gas.

Someone with this condition would have to find a partner who is totally fine with farts squeaking out during foreplay, and then getting louder and longer as the sex gets more intense.

SUPER silly idea: A new quiz goes viral online and EXPLODES in popularity. This isn’t too surprising, as people have proven time and again that they love sorting themselves into things: wizard groups, Myers-Briggs personality types, zodiac signs, etc.

However, this new craze is a little different: the Broken Wind personality quiz (or, as most people call it, the Fart Type quiz). Basically, you answer a lot of questions regarding how much you’re naturally gassy, what foods make you fart, how often you allow yourself to get farty (whether to intentionally fart more or to just enjoy your favorite foods), how fragrant your farts are, and SO much more. Providing all of this fart-related data will grant a personality type that is shockingly accurate, as well as advice on how to live your best life according to the type of gas you happen to blast.

What starts as a meme quiz quickly becomes a sensation, with people sharing their Fart Types in their social media bios, befriending/hooking up with people based on their Fart Types, and even embracing the power of farts by allowing themselves to get gassy more often than they used to. First dates soon include “proving” your Fart Type. Friend groups fart together and giggle because their Fart Types encourage social gas passing. Life legitimately changes… and some argue that it changes for the better.

is a gassy boyfriend with a fat ass too much to ask for? 😞

To bounce off of your voice chat story. I was thinking about 2 friends being gassy as they play a game. Both of their profile pictures lighting up whenever they fart or burp as the get really into the game. Maybe even after they get tired of the game, they're just chatting with each other and letting rip or just sitting, enjoying each other's silence apart from the sounds of gas.

loooove that, sounds so cozy! what's better than cutting loose with your friend while playing a game together? both of them interrupting each other with their gas, neither of them bothered by it. heaven 🤤

Continuing the thread of merfolk farts from yesterday...

I mentioned that merfolk who fart in anyplace with a “roof” (homes, caves, etc.) while underwater would need ways to later get rid of the accumulating bubbles of gas. I wanted to have a little fun with that idea...

Gassy merfolk who like to really drag their fins on when they get around to clearing out their fart bubbles. They push out some real huge ones and proudly watch as they float up and join an air pocket that’s large enough to cover their whole roof and require effort to not swim into it.

Groups of crass merfolk who have initiation rituals for new members. The rest of the group stuffs themselves with trigger foods and spends the day farting up a huge air pocket in their hangout spot, then make the new initiate swim up and breathe it in for a set amount of time.

The areas above certain merfolk settlements being known as bad spots to sail or fish in. This is already true because sailing and fishing above merfolk settlements disrupts their lives in various ways. However, some fishermen don’t care about being considerate to merfolk, so the merfolk will resort to chasing them off. If a ship decides to fish above merfolk houses, a popular option is to put the gassiest merfolk in those homes, give them a feast, and let the collected gases fly up to the surface.

unironically my situationship rn lolll