Theseus, Or The Assless Hero.

Theseus, or the Assless Hero.

Theseus is already a hated figure among Greek Mythology Enthusiasts for any of these reasons:

a) Abandoning Ariadne;

b) Killing his own son;

c) Kidnapping twelve-year-old Helen;

d) All of the above;

But people aren't prepared to talk about his worst, most horrendous crime: not having an ass! And no, I'm not saying that he was flat, that would've been a good situation. What I'm talking about is THIS! 👇

And that, good people, is why Theseus is not badass, only bad. Though I shall emphasize the fact that for someone without an ass he surely was one.

Pygmalion x Galatea

"Metal and Rock Music Are Satanic and a bad influence for children"

Metallica received once a letter from an old lady in her 90s who was about to die. Her last wish was to see her favourite band singing to her before passing away. They visited her in the hospital and didn't accept any money for it.

The solist of the band Nirvana, Kurt Cobain, made it very clear that if anyone is sexist, racist or homophobic they could as well just leave and stop buying his albums. He suddently stopped singing in order to save a woman from being sexually assaulted in the middle of a concert. He also used to stay up late at night in order to answer his fans' messages.

Blink-182 received a note from a teenage boy named Adam, who took his own life shortly after writing that letter. Finding out what happened, Hoppus wrote "Adam's Song" in his memory.

Justin Bieber splits on people, is rude to everyone, wrote: "Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would've been a belieber." while visiting Anne Frank's House, sprayed over a builiding that’s a protected heritage site, punched a fan in the face and made his fans wait for a couple hours to start his concert because he was playing video games backstage. He also walked out midway through a different concert. Also also, he got a monkey as a pet once. Then abandoned it.

And yet people still believe that Pop Starts are automatically better role models for their children just because Rock and Metal are usually less listened (and appreciated) music genres. Let that sink in for a moment.

From what I managed to find out about Kaos (correct me if I'm wrong) in the series it is revealed that Hades didn't in fact kidnap Persephone and that this whole part of the myth is nothing but a lie. 🙄

Besides the fact that it isn't the first time when people use this completely original and definitely not overused idea just to make the relationship between them two look ideal (as if the mere that Persephone has just as much power over the Underworld as Hades to the point where it is believed that she predates him isn't already great), what is ironic is that people could use the same ideas that they're using in HxP retellings for an Eros×Psyche one.

You want a myth where the girl isn't kidnapped? You have Eros and Psyche.

You want an ancient version of Beauty and the Beast? Gabrielle-Suzanne de Villeneuve took inspiration from this myth when writing his famous fairy tale.

You want a love story with a mother that is against the marriage of the couple? Aphrodite acts like that in this myth.

You want a strong heroine with more agency? Pyche literally goes through four labours just to get her boyfriend back.

You want her husband to be a loyal and faithful consort to her? Eros never cheated on Psyche.

You want a myth where it is certain that the "beauty" came to fall in love with the "beast"? Psyche sure does love Eros.

The myth of Eros and Psyche is what many HxP fans want the relationship between Hades and Persephone to be like.

Perseus x Andromeda

It took me a while to make this one. I tried to find some reference pictures for black Andromeda, but didn't find any. 😑

Anyway, Perseus x Andromeda.

There's this Zeus, Poseidon and Hades Rap Song: MYTHOS

I'll be honest with you guys, I love it. Like I know that the references aren’t 100% accurate but you can tell that they did their search before writing the lyrics (which is the bare minimum).

YouTube

ZEUS, POSEIDON & HADES RAP | "MYTHOS" | RUSTAGE ft. Shwabadi & Connor Quest!

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/5cx13CEwfFT6rHTYnB4XgA?si=20b5a3548a0c4f01Itunes: https://music.apple.com/us/album/mythos-greek-gods