Andromeda - Tumblr Posts
Perseus x Andromeda
It took me a while to make this one. I tried to find some reference pictures for black Andromeda, but didn't find any. 😑
Anyway, Perseus x Andromeda.
PERSEUS (THE MUSICAL)
Perseus: Why do you want me to bring you Medusa's head in the first place?
Polydectes, singing like a soprano: 🎶I'M IN LOVE WITH YOUR MOTHER! OH, DANAE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! EVERY NIGHT BEFORE GOING TO SLEEP I'M TOUCHING MY BAL-🎶
Perseus: EW! Wtf?!
AND THIS ONE:
Servant: Lady Andromeda, why are you so sad?
Andromeda: I will soon be sacrificed to a sea rabbit predator.
Servant: 🎶OH, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!🎶
Andromeda: ...
Andromeda: I hate you all.
THIS ONE TOO:
Athena, explaining the strategy to Perseus: ...and lastly, I will give you my polished shield so that you would see Medusa's reflection without being petrified.
Perseus: Okay, but what's that cup for?
Athena: *proceeds to do the cup song*
OKAY, LAST ONE:
Perseus: Are you Medusa?
Medusa: Yes.
Perseus: ...
Medusa: What?
Perseus: Nothing, it’s just that I was expecting you to...
Medusa: 🎶YOU F****** S*** LITTLE BASTARD! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO SING! I'M GLAD YOUR MOTHER WILL BE MARRIED TO...🎶
Perseus: *cuts her head to stop her singing*
I kinda want a Perseus musical.
Just in case it comforts anybody, there's this old Dionysus x Ariadne Fanfiction titled "Drunk on Love". While it isn't perfect and I have my own complaints, I like the fact when Perseus is firstly introduced he seems to be your generic villain. Then we get this scene with him and Andromeda:
Greek Mythology Characters drawn by Gustave Doré
Note: Most of these are illustrations from the Divine Comedy.
1. Charon
2. Cerberus
3. Minos
4. Asterion/The Minotaur
5. The Erinyes/Furies
6. Centaurs
7. Harpies
8. Plutus
9. The Oceanids
10. Andromeda
"and that he only rescued her bc she's pretty"
Because Andromeda clearly had no reaction when she saw his cake:
I’m so glad that Perseus and Andromeda aren’t a popular couple, if such a simple and loving couple like Orpheus and Eurydice can get so misunderstood to such degree, I worry how they would write my faves.
For the sake of humor, I made this video. Hope that I captured the energy of the moment perfectly:
I usually do not care that much about the discussions on Andromeda's ethnicity since even ancient poets had different opinions on her race and birthplace, and I consider that people can depict her however they want.
But the "Andromeda cannot be black because ancient greeks didn't know that Africa exists." argument never failed to give me second hand embarassment for the people who said that.
The more I think about Perseus and Andromeda having nine children together, the more I'm starting to imagine their sex life resembling Queen Victoria and Prince Albert's and this is not okay.
For more context:
Perhaps one of the spiciest chapters from history (which sadly isn't taught in school) is the relationship between Victoria and her husband Albert. Here are a few informations about it:
Victoria held a secret diary in which she wrote about Albert and her *ahem* fantasies with him. Here is one passage from it:
"My dear Albert came in today from the rain; he looked so handsome in his white cashmere britches, with nothing on underneath."
I think we all know what happened moments later.
She once sent to him this spicy painting of her (see the picture).
Back then disheveled hair and visible shoulders were considered alluring and sensual.
She also bought him a quite erotic painting from artist Franz Xaver Winterhalter's which depicts a group of bare-breasted women preparing to bathe.
The couple is said to have installed a special button in their bedroom at their huge holiday house on the Isle of Wight. The idea was they could lock the doors from bed so they would never be disturbed in flagrante delicto by a footman bearing a tea tray.
Victoria hated being pregnant and having kids, but LOVED sex. That's why she ended up having nine children. Unsurprisingly, Albert was the one who took care of them.
There are persistent rumours that Albert was so well endowed that he had to wear a special ring around his "little Prince" so it could be pulled to the side and thus not bulge in an unseemly manner in his trousers. This may be where the "Prince Albert" comes from.
After giving birth to her last child, Victoria's doctor told her: "You know, ma'am, you shouldn't have any more children.", to which she replied with: "What, Doctor, no more fun in bed?"
Unfortunately, Albert died in 1861, 32 years before she passed away. RIP Sex Button.
The more I think about Perseus and Andromeda having nine children together, the more I'm starting to imagine their sex life resembling Queen Victoria and Prince Albert's and this is not okay.
Imagine them taking care of baby Andromeda. XD
Listen… Persomeda Sleeping Beauty au
The ultimate card: Perseus and Andromeda didn't love each other and got married for you guys to ship them with their enemies.
Andromeda didn’t bear Perseus 9 children for y’all to ship her man with Medusa.
Perseus was both Heracles' half-sibling and great-grandfather, so imagine 90yo Perseus, probably senile and blind as well (assuming that he was still alive back then), finding out from Andromeda (assuming that she was still alive too) that their granddaughter's newborn just killed two snakes at hours old as if it was nothing. He would be like: "Wow, already a strong boy! He takes after me." then he would give a second thought to it and be like: "Oh..."
The ass in question:
Andromeda and one of her handmaidens checking out Perseus:
Just to make it clear: If someone claims that "Perseus kidnapped Andromeda." and that it is said that she was in love with him just because the myth was written from his pov, but is willing to believe that "In the ORIGINAL myth of Hades and Persephone he didn't kidnap her." then I'm not going to take them seriously.
For more context: Just found a post where somebody responded to an anonymous ask and explained why they consider Perseus to be a misogynist and Medusa a victim. And this part particularly pissed me off the most.
Just to make it clear: If someone claims that "Perseus kidnapped Andromeda." and that it is said that she was in love with him just because the myth was written from his pov, but is willing to believe that "In the ORIGINAL myth of Hades and Persephone he didn't kidnap her." then I'm not going to take them seriously.
Andromeda
Nuotando nell'arcipelago
Amore mio terrore mio
Cadremo dentro alle viscere
Marea mia difesa mia
Scavalcheremo il tempo
Favola atomica
Unica cattedra
Ultima lettera
Andromeda
Andromeda by Vlaho Bukovac (1885-90)