The First Thing You Find Out When Yer Dog Learns To Talk Is That Dogs Don't Got Nothing Much To Say.

The first thing you find out when yer dog learns to talk is that dogs don't got nothing much to say. About anything.

The Knife of Never Letting Go; Patrick Ness

There are some things that can beat smartness and foresight? Awkwardness and stupidity can. The best swordsman in the world doesn't need to fear the second best swordsman in the world; no, the person for him to be afraid of is some ignorant antagonist who has never had a sword in his hand before; he doesn't do the thing he ought to do, and so the expert isn't prepared for him; he does the thing he ought not to do; and often it catches the expert out and ends him on the spot.

Mark Twain

I always think everything could be a trap...which is why I'm still alive.

Prince Humperdinck, The Princess Bride

We do not murder. We do not execute. We do not massacre. We never, you may be very certain, we never torture. We have no truck with crimes of passion or hatred or pointless gain. We do not do it for a delight in inhumation, or to feed some secret inner need, or for petty advantage or for some cause or belief; I tell you, gentlemen, that all these reasons are in the highest degree suspect. Look into the face of a man who will kill you for a belief and your nostrils will snuff up the scent of abomination. Hear a speech declaring a holy war and, I assure you, your ears should catch the click of evil's scales and the dragging of its monstrous tail over the purity of the language. No, we do it for the money. And, because we above all must know the value of a human life, we do it for a great deal of money. There can be few cleaner motives, so shorn of all pretence.

Pyramids; Terry Pratchett

The reason that clichés become clichés is that they are the hammers and screwdrivers in the toolbox of communication.

Guards! Guards! Terry Pratchett

How dare he try to bribe me, thought Moist. In fact, that was his second thought, that of the soon-to-be wearer of a gold-ish chain. His first thought, courtesy of the old Moist, was: how dare he try to bribe me so small.

Making Money; Terry Pratchett