Let's Get This Party Started.

Let's get this party started.

A recent drawing of Baroness von Bon Bon. I think she looks nice here.

(Please reblog with credit. I'd appreciate it!)

Remind Me Why We're Trying to Get Hifumi to Love Us, Again? (a crackfic that's going too far)

Chapter Five: Operation: Land A Date!

@chibibreeby

The next day, after class,  the boys and wingwomen met in the detention room (once Kiyotaka was done with his detention, of course). Leon then wrote on the chalkboard "Land A Date With Hifumi". "Now competitors and wingwomen, here is where competition gets interesting, to say the least. Of course, it's where we try to score a date with everyone's favorite weirdo.".

Kiyotaka raised his hand. "Yes?". "Can we get into the rules?". Leon rolled his eyes. "Fine. You and your wingwoman need to stay together, or at least in the same area. Also, you gotta have your lady gear on. You can do anything to convince Hifumi to date you.". The prefect nodded. "Now, uh, I watched a few videos on drag, and I still need help actually putting it on.", Leon admitted, "So this is the only exception to the 'No Helping' rule..".

Mondo, sorry, Momo felt a little uncomfortable, but that was because she was way too comfortable in those clothes. Currently, "she" was wearing a normal white tank top, a black leather studded jacket, a black miniskirt with a gold chain, a (thankfully) white bra over his, uh, her (admittedly real) bust, a big, frizzy wig that matched his own hair color, heavy makeup, black stilettos, and the tiger-print thong that Chihiro hated so much.

While it was an ugly process ( cinching his waist, waxing his legs, not to mention having to tuck a certain something you probably about know into a place he never thought it could go in order to achieve a feminine outline rather than a MANLY bulge, hint hint), the outcome was actually incredible, and "she" was pretty amazed with Chihiro's work. Now to see if it worked...

"I don't understand, Momo, wouldn't it be easier to test your lady charm on Hifumi rather than the Crazy Daimonds?", Chihiro questioned. "Yeah, but doing the gang will help me see if I'm unrecognizeable.", Momo responded. That was another thing that had changed. Since Mondo's voice was pretty deep at normal volume, Momo's voice had to be significantly quieter. While "her" voice was still deep, the falsetto added in made it more feminine and pleasing to hear.

Chihiro shrugged his shoulders. "Whatever you say. It's your logic.". After a minute or two scouring the streets, Mondo Momo found his her gang hanging around an alley. "There they are. What was that thing you told me?", Momo asked. Chihiro demonstrated every move. "When you get over there, flip your hair, blink three times, look over your shoulder, and put your hand on your hip". "Ya sure that works?", Momo asked nervously. "It has for me!", Chihiro chirped.

Momo went over the steps in "her" head, then walked over within earshot of hi- her gang. Flip, blink, blink, blink, look, and hip. Flip, blink, blink, blink, look, and hip. Flip, blink, blink, blink, look, and hip. Simple. Until s/he actually did the combo. Flip, blink, blink, bl- ow! Eyelash! Rub it out! Pay attention to where you're walking! Is that a manhole cover? Don't tri- whoa! Smack!

Momo could feel Chihiro's facepalm from on the asphalt. "Ey, lady, you okay?", s/he heard someone say in a rough voice. Slowly, Momo looked up to see who it was, and thanked everything that it was a Diamond, though that eyelash was still in h/er eye, so it made it difficult to tell who it was exactly. "Uh, yeah...who are you?". " Name's Shoji,", he said as helped up Momo, taking a moment to examine "her" body, "and you must be an angel, huh?".

"Actually, I'm Momo...". Shoji nodded, "Believe me, I saw your 'peach'.". Hurriedly, Momo flipped "her" skirt down. "I don't ever remember seein' you around. Ya must be new?". Momo nodded. Man, this was easy-  ah, stupid eyelash! "I can take care o' that.", Shoji said, removing the annoying eyelash from Momo's eye. "Gah!". Shoji smirked, "Yer all flustered. Cute. Lemme indroduce ya to th' gang.  It's not mine, but 'm sure boss won't mind.".

Confidently placing his arm around Momo's waist, Shoji brought "her" over to the rest of the Daimonds. Almost simultaneously, the alley filled with the sound of whistles and cat-calls (and Takemichi made his way to the back). "Well, well, look what Shoji found.", a Daimond with a particularly riduculous pompadour commented, making Momo feel a little uncomfortable.

"This is Momo uh...". "Oyama". "Momo Oyama. She's new.". "And gorgeous! Where you from?", a shorter biker asked. "Oh, I'm from...". "Is that really important? I'd like ta know if she's free tonight.", a paler Daimond purred, winking at the "lady". "Hey, I saw her first, Kazuki!", Shoji growled, afterward, all the Crazy Daimonds (minus Takemichi) swarming over the "girl".

"You know what? My friend's waiting for me, I gotta go!", Momo informed, before escaping the swarm and taking off toward Chihiro. " Run, Hiro!". "How'd it go?", Chihiro asked as he ran beside Momo. "I'm a better lady than I thought!", s/he replied in Mondo's natural voice.

Kimiko felt espesially brave. Celestia was the closest to Hifumi after all, so everything was in "her" favor. Of course, if everything was in "her" favor, why was Celestia taking her to a nightclub? "Celestia," Kimiko said in the uncomfortably high French accent Celestia begged her to use, "I think I should ask Hifumi out now. Could we please return to Hope's Peak?". Celestia rolled her eyes. "Are you kidding? You need to have fun like this. It'll sharpen your skills.".

"Sharpen my skills?". "As a woman. After all, you want to win this, don't you? Besides, you're getting looks.". Kimiko then scoured the area with her eyes, almost tripping over "her" thigh-high black heeled boots. S/he then dusted "her"self off, while taking a moment to straighten the ridiculous Sailor Moon-like black pigtails on "her" head and remove the creases from "her" red button-down blouse and white pencil skirt.

Once done with "her" maintenance, s/he continued the conversation. "Even if I wanted to go to a nightclub, I am positive we would not be granted admission!". Celestia then winked mischeviously, letting Kimiko know she had something up her sleeve. At the nightclub (a block or two away from Hope's Peak), Celestia grabbed Kimiko by the wrist and drug "her" to the front. The bouncer looked at the two, exchanging glances between Celestia and Kimiko. "Got I.D.?".

"Why wouldn't we?", the gambler replied, producing two realistic fake I.D.'s. "Alright. Have fun.". Kimiko's eyes widened, and Celestia had to snatch back the I.D. cards and drag "her" inside before she could say anything. "Celestia! That is illegal!", Kimiko shouted over the booming music. "Who's Celestia? As of right now, I'm Taeko Yasuhiro, and you are to have fun.", the other replied as she removed the two drills from her hair. "Now run along! I'll be over here.".

Kimiko pouted. This was definately not the way s/he thought this plan would go; now s/he was illegally in a nightclub with Hifumi nowhere in sight, and the more and more she looked at herself in a reflective surface, the more s/he looked like a little girl attempting to be a teenager (which made sense, being s/he never asked what age Kimiko actually was, and Celestia had made the makeup look way too natural) which made Kimiko all the more uncomfortable.

"Hey. Aren't you a litte too young to be in here?". Great. Perfect even. "Uh, yes, yes, sorry, I'll-". "Oh no, it's fine, I won't tell.". Crisis adve- wait, huh? "I'm Haiji Towa. What's your name?". "Kimiko Imamura.". If "her" looks didn't say little girl, that stupid voice would've by now. "How old are you?". Kimiko looked at the man. He didn't look like the law, and he seemed trustworthy, and besides the Towa family ran the city, right. Even still, "I'd rather not say.". "That's fine, Kimiko. Hey, why don't you stick with me for a while?", Haiji asked. Kimiko smiled, then nodded politely. Maybe this wasn't so bad.

Leiko sighed. What the heck were those other two and their wingwomen doing outside of the school anyway? The job was easy, and yet they found a way to make it more complicated. Classic Mondo and Kiyotaka, or Momo and Kimiko in this case. Sayaka stood near the dining area door, giving Leiko the okay s/he'd been waiting for.

This was it. This was hard work, layers of makeup to hide that goatee, a miniskirt, fishnets, Converse sneakers, a Paramore t-shirt, ponytails, and studded bracelets about to leave their mark on a certain doujinshi author. With the sway of "her" hips and the click of "her" tongue piercing, s/he strutted her way over to Hifumi, who was currently engrossed in a bento box.

"Hey. I'm Leiko. Let's say, you and me, Music Fest this Friday in Serenity Park?", the "girl" whispered into Hifumi's ear. "Gah!! Ahh...". Leiko took pride in Hifumi's blush. "Well, I don't know all that much about music...or you...how'd you get in here?", the doujin author asked suspisiously. "Oh, Sayaka snuck me in. We're like, best friends. While I was leaving, I couldn't help but notice you over here by yourself. So, what do you say?".

Hifumi thought for a moment while stuffing a pork bun into his mouth. "I suppose I could...at what time?". Leiko tapped "her" chin. "Oh, around five or six in the afternoon.". Hifumi nodded, "I'll be there! Now, please leave before you're caught.". Leiko winked and blew a kiss before leaving the room. "All too easy.".

Remind Me Why We're Trying to Get Hifumi to Love Us, Again? (a crackfic that's going too far)

Chapter Seven: Big Sis Diana's Rules For Dating

@chibibreeby

Momo couldn't believe this was happening. Never in a million years would she think that her brother sister would actually join in his her activities, yet here she was helping him, uh, her into a corset. Dai..ana...didn't have any clothes of "her" own, so Momo had to share, which would've worked better if Daiana hadn't chosen the tightest-fitting clothes Momo had (and no, there was no way s/he was sharing the tiger print thong, no matter how much Daiana begged).

Now here Momo, Chihiro and Daiana were, about to intrude on the Crazy Diamonds (well, not really intrude, but technically, yeah), and personally, the first drag sister and her wing"woman" hoped that Daiana wouldn't do anything devious, or in their case, humiliating. Cue Daiana clinging onto 'her sister' like a teddy bear and cooing into Momo's ear things like, "Did you wear a nice bra? Are your nails done? Do you have your makeup bag with you in case I see someone I like?".

Once the trio had come across the gang in the alleyway, the older 'sister' thought that the best way to catch the attention of the bikers was to forcefully push Momo out front, knowing that he she was wearing quite a tall pair of heels, and was very prone to falling. Luckily(?), Shoji was there to catch 'her' before he she fell.

"Well, well, if it isn't my lil' angel again.", Shoji greeted, pulling back Momo's hair right before Daiana swept in and knocked Momo to the ground and offered 'her' hand for Shoji to shake. "My, my, I don't think we met yet! I'm Daiana, Momo's older sister!". When Momo attempted to get up, Daiana placed her heel firmly on Momo's back, leaving the younger sibling to squirm, and Chihiro to cringe. "Shake my hand if you know what's good for you".

Nervously, Shoji delicately shook Daiana's handl "Good, good! It's nice meeting my little sister's male friends!", Daiana clamored, kicking Momo's butt before finally allowing 'her' up. "Uh, yeah. Nice ta meet ya, too, Daiana.". Giggling obnoxiously, Daiana replied, "What a sweetheart! You can call me Didi!". Once Momo brushed off the asphalt on 'her' clothes, Daiana, er, Didi clung on to her arm. "Nice boys. I wouldn't be suprised if they wanted to date you, little peach!".

One by one, the Diamonds surrounded Momo, only to be warded off by a hiss from Didi. "Just like I thought. Absolute pigs, all of them. Why, oh why do you have to fall for these bad boys, Momo?". Lovingly, 'she' yanked Momo's hair, causing the 'sister' to shriek. "Oh well. Look's like big sis Daiana will have to step in! After all, it seems like all of you want a bite of this juicy fruit, hmm?". Enthusiastic cheers rose from the crowd, causing Momo to blush. "Hehe! Looks like I'll have to go over Big Sis Daiana's Rules For Dating!".

Daiana then grabbed Daiana's shoulders and had her back(?) facing the gang. "Rule number one;", Daiana paused to lift Momo's skirt and flash the Crazy Daimonds with 'her sister's' trademark tiger-print thong, earning a ton of whistles and a distressed, "DAIANA!". "...Keep your filthy eyes off of my baby sister's ass, ya perverts! Your eyes should be admiring her beauty, not her booty.". After letting go of Momo's skirt, Didi brought 'her sister' in for a hug. "Rule number two; love  my lil sis right. Hug her, kiss her, get her flowers, cotton candy, a maltese puppy, stuff she likes!".

"Rule number three, keep your eyes off of other girls.". Daiana paused to push up 'her' bra and stick out his...her tongue, earning a few catcalls herself. "Rule number four, keep all those violent gangsters away from my sweet little sister! Normally, this rule would apply to you, but I like your gang.". Both Momo and Chihiro rolled their eyes. "Finally, rule five...IF YOU HURT MOMO IN ANY WAY, I WILL HAVE YOU TIED TO THE BACK OF A MOTORCYCLE AND DRUG FROM HERE TO FUJI, GOT IT?!" . Shaking, the gangsters nodded.

"Good! We're going to the Karaoke Bar on Sunday! Be there~".

Have a jade-blood Chihiro. :)

Remind Me Why We're Trying to Get Hifumi to Love Us, Again? (a crackfic that's going too far)

Chapter One: The Ultimate Man's Competition

@chibibreeby 

It was another day at Hope's Peak. Well, afternoon, really. While other students were participating in club activities or hanging out with friends, Kiyotaka Ishimaru was watching over several students in detention. Some students, like Makoto Naegi, were only in for thirty minutes due to minor offenses, while others had an hour or so. By the time Teruteru had finished dinner, Kiyotaka was still on the detention room, watching over the two remaining students, Mondo and Leon.

Mondo groaned; he hadn't done anything detention worthy that day, or even that week. In fact, he was going to prove to the hall monitor that he could stay out of trouble, however, that backfired when he found out that he had piled up on enough minor offenses to keep him in detention for three hours.

Leon, on the other hand, was actually trying to stack up his detentions and serve them all in one day. Like Mondo, there were an abundance of minor offenses, added on to that one time he threw Yasuhiro's crystal ball down the hallway and had accidentally hit Headmaster Kirigiri. In all honesty, he didn't mind the detention as much when it was just him, Mondo, and Kiyotaka. Actually, that gave him an idea.

"Hey, Kiyotaka, come over here!", the all-star called out, catching the attention of both the prefect and the biker. "Why? This is not one of your foolish 'pranks', is it?", Kiyotaka questioned. Leon shook his head, "No, no, not at all, just come over.". Sighing, Kiyotaka made his way over to Leon's desk. "Now then, what is the reason you called me over?", the moral compass asked, crossing his arms and staring down at Leon.

"Well, I think it's safe to say that the three of us are pretty manly, huh?", Leon inquired, all too calm. "Fuck, yeah. What's that got ta do wit' anything?", Mondo wondered, whilst making his way to Leon and Kiyotaka. " We're all manly by our standards, but who's truly the manliest out of us?".

Kiyotaka laughed boisterously. "Is that a rhetorical question? It is obvious that I am the manliest of us three, after all, at this moment I am in charge of you, not only showing my authority, but dominance as well!". Mondo rolled his eyes, "Don't credit yerself like that. Yeah, you're in charge, for th' next twenty minutes, but I'm runnin' an entire biker gang! If anyone here's manly, it's me.". Leon smirked, "See? It would be pointless to argue that I'm manlier, because you two have proven my point. Therefore, in order to settle this...dispute, I think a competition is in order.".

"Competition? Please elaborate!", Kiyotaka replied. "With every man's competition, it's the same; who can lift that, who's able to eat this, normal men's things.". "What are ya plannin', Leon?", Mondo asked, a bit nervous. Leon stood up and made his way to the front of the room. "I'm planning a competiton that only a real man would have the audacity to compete in! One that tests a man physically, mentally, and emotionally.". Leon grabbed a piece of chalk and began writing on the board. "Introducing, the Ultimate Man's Competition!".

Mondo and Kiyotaka stared at each other, then at Leon. "Allow me to explain. Each participant must, one, be a male, and two, be a student here. The task?". Leon paused to finish drawing what looked like a four-year-old's portrait of Hifumi. "Make this guy fall in love with you!". The prefect and the gang leader cringed. "Uh, Leon, I think I speak fer both Taka an' I when I say, the fuck are ya thinkin?".

Leon chuckled, "Not up to the challenge? I guess that means I wi-". "No ya don't! I jus', uh, wanted ta know th' rules.", Mondo interrupted. "Alright. Any male is allowed to compete, except Chihiro, since he does this on a daily basis, and of course, Hifumi for obvious reasons . Each male is required to have one wingwoman, and once one is claimed, she can't work for anyone else. As for the task itself, you won't be going out with Hifumi yourself, rather you'd go as your female self".

Kiyotaka shifted his eyes. "Are you proposing we do drag?". Leon scratched his goatee. "One reason we've got a wingwoman. Any other questions?". "Does Hiro count as a wingwoman?", Mondo inquired. Leon thought for a moment. "Sure, why not. By the way, your lady self should have her own name, first and last, and the absolute, number one rule, is don't let Hifumi know. Got it?". Kiyotaka and Mondo gave a nod of confirmation.

"Alrighty then, gentlemen. Let the competition begin!".