Im Going To Hell - Tumblr Posts

okay so like this is totally a shitpost and idk why i couldnt stop thinking about it but like what if we had Mafia Monopoly. like, i started with Knife Monopoly (don't ask lmao) and it just spiraled into this whole mafia board game thing and now i cant unsee it. so if ur actually curious (and honestly who wouldnt be?), the rules and all that are below. but rly its just my brain going "WHAT IF MAFIA??" so here it goes:

The Board (or like, ur Criminal Playground)

so like forget boring old Boardwalk n stuff, we're talking mafia territories. u start at The Boss's Office (basically GO but mafia) and every time u pass it u get $200 in "protection money" cause ur a big shot mob boss now. here's the line-up:

Little Italy - mobster central. Price: $200, Protection Fee: $20.

Chinatown - shady deals galore. Price: $250, Protection Fee: $25.

The Slums - its sketchy but money's money. Price: $300, Protection Fee: $30.

The Docks - smuggling central. Price: $350, Protection Fee: $35.

Old Town - where all the OG gangsters hang. Price: $400, Protection Fee: $40.

Red Light District - yeah, that place. Price: $450, Protection Fee: $45.

The Suburbs - even the 'burbs aren't safe. Price: $500, Protection Fee: $50.

Downtown - big deals go down here. Price: $550, Protection Fee: $55.

Casino Row - high stakes, big wins (or losses). Price: $600, Protection Fee: $60.

Warehouse District - stash ur "goods" here. Price: $650, Protection Fee: $65.

The Black Market - get all the illegal stuff u want. Price: $700, Protection Fee: $70.

The Industrial Zone - factories and other shady stuff. Price: $750, Protection Fee: $75.

The Financial District - money moves here. Price: $800, Protection Fee: $80.

Nightclub Alley - party like a mob boss. Price: $850, Protection Fee: $85.

The Marina - perfect for smuggling. Price: $900, Protection Fee: $90.

Luxury Row - fancy but sketchy. Price: $950, Protection Fee: $95.

High-Rise Condos - live the high life. Price: $1000, Protection Fee: $100.

Penthouse Suites - the ultimate mob boss pad. Price: $1050, Protection Fee: $105.

Special Spots

Jobs Card (like Chance but more chaotic): random stuff happens, sometimes good, sometimes not.

Events Card (like Community Chest but wilder): more randomness, cause why not?

The Police Station (Jail): got caught? pay up or bribe ur way out.

Safehouses (Railroads): stash spots or just a place to lay low. also, collect fees from others who land here.

Cards and Roles

Property Cards

ur turf. buy it, protect it, make that cash.

Mafia Influence Cards

action cards to mess with other players or boost urself:

"Police Raid": send a rival straight to the Police Station. fun times.

"Black Market Connections": get some extra cash under the table.

Heist Cards

missions for ur gang. roll the dice, score big:

"Bank Robbery": roll a 10 or higher, get $500.

"Smuggling Operation": roll 8 or higher, snag $300.

Jobs and Events Cards

wild cards. anything can happen. good luck?

Employee Role Cards

ur crew, ur power:

The Don: the big boss. duh.

The Enforcer: keeps things in line (or not).

The Consigliere: the brains behind the operation.

The Capo: does the dirty work.

The Soldier: the muscle. gets things done.

Extra Cool Stuff

Home Turf Advantage:

own all the properties in a neighborhood, and ur basically the kingpin there. double ur cash, plus extra perks.

Gang Wars:

wanna take someone's turf? time for a Gang War. roll the dice, highest wins, loser either pays or gives up a property.

Heists:

send ur Soldier on heists for quick cash. roll the dice and hope for the best.

Bribery:

bribe ur way out of anything. stuck in jail? bribe. need a favor? bribe.

Jail (The Police Station):

roll doubles to get out or pay up.

Safehouses:

use these to stash loot or hide when things get too hot.

Trading and Negotiations:

make deals, trade properties, money, whatever. just be careful—trust no one.

Bankruptcy:

if ur out of money, ur out of the game. last player standing wins, or whoever has the most cash and properties at the end.

How to Win

win by being the last mafia family standing or having the most cash and properties when the game's over. its chaos, strategy, and a little backstabbing, perfect for anyone who loves board games and has actual friends to play with (unlike me lol). so if ur up for some mafia mayhem, go wild and have fun!

Remind Me Why We're Trying to Get Hifumi to Love Us, Again? (a crackfic that's going too far)

Chapter One: The Ultimate Man's Competition

@chibibreeby 

It was another day at Hope's Peak. Well, afternoon, really. While other students were participating in club activities or hanging out with friends, Kiyotaka Ishimaru was watching over several students in detention. Some students, like Makoto Naegi, were only in for thirty minutes due to minor offenses, while others had an hour or so. By the time Teruteru had finished dinner, Kiyotaka was still on the detention room, watching over the two remaining students, Mondo and Leon.

Mondo groaned; he hadn't done anything detention worthy that day, or even that week. In fact, he was going to prove to the hall monitor that he could stay out of trouble, however, that backfired when he found out that he had piled up on enough minor offenses to keep him in detention for three hours.

Leon, on the other hand, was actually trying to stack up his detentions and serve them all in one day. Like Mondo, there were an abundance of minor offenses, added on to that one time he threw Yasuhiro's crystal ball down the hallway and had accidentally hit Headmaster Kirigiri. In all honesty, he didn't mind the detention as much when it was just him, Mondo, and Kiyotaka. Actually, that gave him an idea.

"Hey, Kiyotaka, come over here!", the all-star called out, catching the attention of both the prefect and the biker. "Why? This is not one of your foolish 'pranks', is it?", Kiyotaka questioned. Leon shook his head, "No, no, not at all, just come over.". Sighing, Kiyotaka made his way over to Leon's desk. "Now then, what is the reason you called me over?", the moral compass asked, crossing his arms and staring down at Leon.

"Well, I think it's safe to say that the three of us are pretty manly, huh?", Leon inquired, all too calm. "Fuck, yeah. What's that got ta do wit' anything?", Mondo wondered, whilst making his way to Leon and Kiyotaka. " We're all manly by our standards, but who's truly the manliest out of us?".

Kiyotaka laughed boisterously. "Is that a rhetorical question? It is obvious that I am the manliest of us three, after all, at this moment I am in charge of you, not only showing my authority, but dominance as well!". Mondo rolled his eyes, "Don't credit yerself like that. Yeah, you're in charge, for th' next twenty minutes, but I'm runnin' an entire biker gang! If anyone here's manly, it's me.". Leon smirked, "See? It would be pointless to argue that I'm manlier, because you two have proven my point. Therefore, in order to settle this...dispute, I think a competition is in order.".

"Competition? Please elaborate!", Kiyotaka replied. "With every man's competition, it's the same; who can lift that, who's able to eat this, normal men's things.". "What are ya plannin', Leon?", Mondo asked, a bit nervous. Leon stood up and made his way to the front of the room. "I'm planning a competiton that only a real man would have the audacity to compete in! One that tests a man physically, mentally, and emotionally.". Leon grabbed a piece of chalk and began writing on the board. "Introducing, the Ultimate Man's Competition!".

Mondo and Kiyotaka stared at each other, then at Leon. "Allow me to explain. Each participant must, one, be a male, and two, be a student here. The task?". Leon paused to finish drawing what looked like a four-year-old's portrait of Hifumi. "Make this guy fall in love with you!". The prefect and the gang leader cringed. "Uh, Leon, I think I speak fer both Taka an' I when I say, the fuck are ya thinkin?".

Leon chuckled, "Not up to the challenge? I guess that means I wi-". "No ya don't! I jus', uh, wanted ta know th' rules.", Mondo interrupted. "Alright. Any male is allowed to compete, except Chihiro, since he does this on a daily basis, and of course, Hifumi for obvious reasons . Each male is required to have one wingwoman, and once one is claimed, she can't work for anyone else. As for the task itself, you won't be going out with Hifumi yourself, rather you'd go as your female self".

Kiyotaka shifted his eyes. "Are you proposing we do drag?". Leon scratched his goatee. "One reason we've got a wingwoman. Any other questions?". "Does Hiro count as a wingwoman?", Mondo inquired. Leon thought for a moment. "Sure, why not. By the way, your lady self should have her own name, first and last, and the absolute, number one rule, is don't let Hifumi know. Got it?". Kiyotaka and Mondo gave a nod of confirmation.

"Alrighty then, gentlemen. Let the competition begin!".

If I died now, I'd go straight to hell.

The eggfurry dosen't scare me

Reblog if you'd marry your icon.

My second time reading. I giggled. Who’s coming with me to hell?

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

so, I have this fun little game that I play called ao3 roulette, and I won’t go into how it works right now, cause I dont have the energy, but it usually either leaves me with really good fics or really bad fics, and they’re all really random. and so I played this game today, the fic I got was only 8,458 words, but I’m pretty sure it was a traumatic experience. I might actually throw up. I knew ao3 had fucked up shit. I did not predict this. I probably have to take a break from the fandom now. 

I did this once around my other bookish ex-friend and they thought I was crazy. I didn’t even know I was doing it😅

people who read while listening to music are very talented and are probably going to hell 

nononoh jesus- 💀

jesus no

It’s rank reset today and I wanted the Evil Incarnate achievement so I went in as a fake friendly Michael and I killed them all- Nea didn’t know until it was too late, Leon accepted his fate, Meg got chased down and murdered on the stairs, and Kate tried to escape only to meet her demise at the exit gate. Nea was circling me because I was standing still just maxing out Leon, and while she circled me I also maxed out on Kate, and then topped it off with her- I deserve all the camping and tunneling I get for the rest of the day 😂

YES I KNOW MY LAPTOP IS DIRTY AND MISSING PARTS LEAVE ME ALONE 💀

Forgive me Father for I am trash...

The fit and the hair 👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼

This is bloody brilliant!!

Ok!! >:) So, this idea is way more crack!

If you’re comfortable with it: the bros walking in on mc singing to Thank God by Sasha Sloan. (>‿<)

Take your time, please!!

Thank God for Devildom

✎ Demon brother x Reader, Dateables x Reader

✎ The school festival was coming to an end, your eyes stared at the crowd in front of you, “I want to thank God for giving me this chance.. ”

✎ Tags: fluff, crack

: ̗̀➛ Manger’s/Author’s note: How about I do you a solid and have the dateables join in as well!

The crowd was rowdy. Cheers for the student council and exchange students involved in the play echoed as one by one, each of them walked off stage. Yet you stood in your place, your feet only dragging themselves to the middle of the stage. Whispers of curiosity lingered below the platform, sweat dripping from your sides like waterfalls.

“Thank you all for coming, before we end the school festival for this year, I would like to give a little message.” The hushed muttering grew louder, your warm palms gripped tighter around the mic’s handle. “I want to thank God for giving me this opportunity to stay in Devildom, spend my days with all of you.. and on behalf of the exchange students.. thank you all.. ”

“What are they talking about?” Mammon quietly questioned as he squirmed in the VIP seats in the front row of the theater. “Like you would know anything, demon-” Luke hissed, head turning back to the stage, giving you his full attention, making Simeon chuckled at the angel’s actions.

Slowly and calming guitar melody flooded the room, sealed lips ajar, breathing in before singing...

Yeah, I'll admit I've had sex before marriage I've smoked hella weed And then I shared it

Asmo’s eyes dilated, his flattened lips turned into a soft chaotic crackle, his arm warping and his hand gripping his side, the piercing feeling of his diaphragm hurting his stomach. Lucifer’s head snaps towards the ruckus, crimson irises digging into the chuckling demon’s soul, making Asmo fan his hand towards the avatar that he’ll stop in just a minute.

Yeah, I confess I've scrolled through Pornhub I've had impure thoughts And acted upon them

Gargling chokes erupted from Mammon’s throat, his half-drunk bottle now crushed under the weight of his clutches. Red flushed his cheeks as he inflated them to prevent himself from losing his cool and to not get his ass whooped by Lucifer, who was staring daggers at him from across the seats. Some audience members were also laughing up storms, trying their hardest to not die so early in the song.

So if the pearly gates Won't open up for me At least I know There's somewhere else I can go

Luke’s eyes darted around, noticing all the demons that were holding their breaths. His head turned towards the taller angel beside him, tilting it a little to signal his confusion. Simeon sweats, softly shaking his head, index finger pointing back up at the stage, which Luke happily obliged with starry eyes.

Thank God...

The smile on Luke’s adorable face grew brighter, joy swirling up inside him knowing that you were singing about Celestial Realm. Simeon who was listening attentively along was also plastering a grinning smile, his heart flooded with happiness, your acknowledgement on the higher realm was such a blessing in his mind.

Thank God for making a Hell Thank God for making a place full of fire And greedy-ass liars Where I'm just like everyone else Thank God for Hell

You swear when you glanced at the crowd, Luke’s bugged-eyed face made you want to crumble. A disappointed yet knowing smirk was all that Simeon could muster, his heart sinking a little, knowing there was always a twist to it. Diavolo gasped, before a chuckle escaped from him, the special mention of Devildom melting his already in-awed heart. Barbatos, beside him, also cracked a smile, index and thumb at his chin as he hummed at the humor.

Yeah, I'll admit My mind's a bit dirty Only go to church If somebody's forced me

Satan coughed a little, his cheeks tainted in red, the embarrassing things you had said setting inside his brain, they were awkward yet they left a grin on his face. Belphie, who was laying on Beel’s shoulder, was humming the melody, eyes fluttering every now and then to stare at you through the half lidded darkness. The Avatar of Gluttony, hands filled with treats that Luke had baked for their hard work, head bopping slightly, enough to not wake up his twin taking a rest beside him.

Yeah, I confess I say some bad words And I haven't yet, but I bet I'll get a divorce

Lucifer huffs, the creeping smile lingers in him, the calm voice yet the sinful lyrics spilling from you making his heart feel afloat, they way you made Diavolo flash his fangs in joy making his day. Levi, a few seats beside him, D.D.D in hand, his features burning so hot that lava doesn’t even compare to it. Pulse skipping beats as your harmonic tones swirled his mind, not even giving the words you were slipping a second thought.

So if the pearly gates Won't open up for me Fuck 'em

“Sing along with me, Devildom!” You shouted, hyping up the crowd who were now chiming alongside you. Heads swaying to the beat, their voices echoing the hall. Solomon giggled to himself, arms cross as he sank in his seat, the cushion enveloping his body as he stared at your movements, enthusiastic yet graceful and elegant, beautifully sang tunes yet shocking lyrics ringing in his ears.

Thank God! Thank God for knowing me well Thank God for making a place I can smoke And tell fucked up jokes Eternally just be myself

Guitar fades over time, the song coming to an end, the sounds of claps raising, your face squished into a bright smile, tears sprinkled the corners of your closed lids. You took a bow, head tilting up a little to meet eyes with the council, they yells of pure bliss sinking into your heart.

Thank God for Devildom

im apparently stupid tonight? anyway im sure this joke exists already but hey

…

Who put this in my recommended

It's only a little funny how uninspirational this is to me lol

On the one hand I cannot argue with that. On the other hand I want to but don’t even know where to begin.

grabs your hand. you've had enough plot and exposition and character development lately im taking you to the beach episode

Pov: it's the 22nd day of 130 AC

Jack: stop trying to make it a gay thing!

(just to be safe let me say that Jack didn't say anything controversial, the entire conversation was just funny 🤣)

It's moments like this where I'm glad the fandom is kinda chill shipping wise cause oh boy. There's a reason I don't talk about shipping

Also it is 100% kinda fruity to choke men in the woods

Oh lord help me now.

Beefy!Bucky (x)