Guanyin Temple Is So Funny To Me As Like, A Finale To A Show. Cql Literally Just Shoves Every Major Character

guanyin temple is so funny to me as like, a finale to a show. cql literally just shoves every major character who’s still alive into a room and has them air out pretty much all of their drama and a significant proportion of their psychological issues for three straight episodes of collective emotional breakdown. it’s not even really about the main characters who are mostly just kind of... there. i’m obsessed with it

Clue (1985) dir. Jonathan Lynn

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I wanna see something.

Death world and proud of it!

Humans Are Weird

So there has been a bit of “what if humans were the weird ones?” going around tumblr at the moment and Earth Day got me thinking. Earth is a wonky place, the axis tilts, the orbit wobbles, and the ground spews molten rock for goodness sakes. What if what makes humans weird is just our capacity to survive? What if all the other life bearing planets are these mild, Mediterranean climates with no seasons, no tectonic plates, and no intense weather? 

What if several species (including humans) land on a world and the humans are all “SCORE! Earth like world! Let’s get exploring before we get out competed!” And the planet starts offing the other aliens right and left, electric storms, hypothermia, tornadoes and the humans are just … there… counting seconds between flashes, having snowball fights, and just surviving. 

June 9: Ace Rights Wangxian!

A/N: I've thought about this conversation between them since I finished the novel. While I would broadly classify WWX here as "sex-favorable asexual" and LWJ here as "grey-ace/demisexual (Wei Ying specific)," each person's experience is unique and neither of these are mine. I beg your forgiveness if anything I've had them say rings false. This fic is largely a discussion is about their sex life, but nothing more physical than kissing is shown in this story.

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Wei Ying likes everything Lan Wangji does. Lan Wangji knows this to be true, because Wei Ying tells him, in exactly those words, every time Lan Wangji draws his husband close and asks what he would like.

But.

Perhaps there should be no "but"—Wei Ying is vocal, even loud, in his enthusiasm for all the ways Lan Wangji touches him, all the ways he takes him apart and feasts on the sight and sounds and sensation of his body.

But when Lan Wangji asks his fantasies, hoping to fulfill Wei Ying’s desires as fully as Wei Ying has fulfilled his, they are games, stories, often moments from their own past or clichés from romantic tales or erotic literature, and if playacting is the shape of Wei Ying’s desire, then Lan Wangji will do his best, but.

The jingshi glows warm tonight, and the day has been a good one, and when Lan Wangji draws Wei Ying into his lap and asks, "How would you like me tonight?" and Wei Ying replies, as he always does, "I like everything Lan Zhan does," Lan Wangji pauses.

"Wei Ying," he asks, "is there nothing in particular you desire from this husband?"

"Lan Zhan?" Wei Ying is confused. Lan Wangji considers the shape of what he has been wondering and arranges the words.

"You know there are many rules about restraining desire and excessive indulgence in physical pleasure," he begins.

Wei Ying grins. "Ooh, is this a new game? Have we broken rules, Lan Zhan?"

"Hush," Lan Wangji says, softening it with a kiss. "Listen." Wei Ying settles into Lan Wangji's arms, his thoughtful face on.

"In my youth, I did not understand these rules, why the other disciples joked about them. To me, they seemed simple, easily followed.

"Then, Wei Ying."

Wei Ying’s cheeks flush, and Lan Wangji has to restrain himself from taking that beautifully reddened skin between his teeth.

"I felt urges so intense they frightened me, reactions in my body I had no context for." He feels the corner of his mouth twitch. "I thought the problem could be solved if only you would learn to observe the rules."

Wei Ying laughs. "And yet I remain a problem, eh Lan Zhan?" he says, eyes twinkling with mischief.

"Never," Lan Wangji disagrees. "It was only ever that I had not yet learned how to hold wanting you inside my skin."

"Lan Zhan, you can't say things like that," Wei Ying protests. "It makes it sound like you wanted to ravish me all the time."

"I did want to ravish you all the time," Lan Wangji replies easily. "I do still. I'd never felt anything like that before, nor for anyone else, since. When I look at you, when I think about you, sometimes when I'm doing something else entirely, the wanting is there, dozens of different ways I desire to have you. Just now, I wanted to bite your cheek." Wei Ying shudders against him, breathing coming faster as Lan Wangji speaks. "What I wonder," he asks gently, "is whether that is how it feels for you."

Wei Ying's brows draw together. "Lan Zhan, you know I love you. You must know I love what we do together, all the ways you love me."

Lan Wangji kisses the wrinkle away. "I do know. I only ask to see if there is something you want that I haven't offered, or..." this is the delicate part "...or anything you don't don't want that you accept because I want it from you."

"That doesn't make any sense," Wei Ying argues. "Everything I like, I like it because you want it from—oh..."

He pauses, and Lan Wangji can see the ideas rearranging behind his eyes. He is so grateful for the ways Wei Ying understands him, for the second chance he has been able to understand Wei Ying.

"Oh, so... for you, the wanting is separate from the—" he waves his hands, blushing again "—the loving me of it all?"

Lan Wangji tilts his head side to side. "Not separate," he says, "but distinct. Like a hunger that remains, whether a meal is spread out before me or I'm practicing inedia, only for Wei Ying."

"Lan-er-gege!" Wei Ying squeezes him tight and buries his face in Lan Wangji's chest. "The things you say..."

Lan Wangji holds him. Sits with the ever-present simmer under his skin and waits.

"I like that you want me," Wei Ying admits, in his smallest, most honest voice. "I don't know that I feel that hunger the way you describe, but it feels good that I'm what you want, just as I am."

He wipes his face against Lan Wangji's chest, and Lan Wangji's heart clenches at the wetness that clings to his eyelashes when he looks up. "Is that okay?" Wei Ying asks. "I'm sorry if I'm not—"

Lan Wangji cuts him off with a kiss, and Wei Ying melts into it, like always.

"No sorry between us," he insists. "Just as you are, as you said. If you wanted nothing more from me than someone to buy you Emperor's Smile, that is what I would give you, and gladly."

"Well I certainly won't turn that down," Wei Ying chuckles, "but I've grown rather spoiled by the rest of it too. I think we'll keep things as they are, Lan Zhan, everyday and all."

"If it's ever too much, if I'm ever—" he needs Wei Ying to understand, needs him to know that he's not beholden to what he said once or what he says now.

"I'll tell you," Wei Ying promises. "I don't think you could be too much for me, Lan Zhan, if I'm honest, but I'll tell you."

Lan Wangji nods and lets his body show the gratitude he feels for the promise, for Wei Ying’s understanding, for everything about the man in his arms. Wei Ying meets him, warm and welcoming as ever, opening to receive all the love and desire Lan Wangji has to give. Their lips and bodies move in tandem, a dance they've both learned all the steps to, until Wei Ying suddenly stops and pulls back.

"Wait!" he says, looking stunned, "Wait, so you mean to tell me all that poetry about desire and yearning and aching for the touch of your beloved is literal? People are really walking around out there feeling a physical need to, to kiss on somebody? Isn't that distracting??"

Lan Wangji can't help but smile. "Highly."

"And some people feel like that for more than one person? Maybe even for anybody attractive they see?"

"I believe it differs in focus and intensity," Lan Wangji says, "but as I understand it, yes."

"Holy shit," says Wei Ying, looking a little gobsmacked by the very idea. "All this time, I assumed that was metaphor."

Lan Wangji loves him so, so much.

"Well. WELL!" Wei Ying says, as he pins him with a serious look. "Anytime you're feeling too distracted by all that yearning, you just come and find me, husband. It won't do to have Hanguang-jun incapacitated by his amorous desires."

Lan Wangji chuckles. "If my husband insists."

"He does! This Wei Ying will accept as many kisses and everydays as his poor, horny husband requires." His grin is wide and beautiful and so fond, and, as ever, Lan Wangji wants to kiss it right off his face.

So he does.

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#PrideMonthSnippets Masterpost here!