I Think One Of The Most Shocking Things I Had Ever Read On This Site Was The Fact That After ROTJ, Some

I think one of the most shocking things I had ever read on this site was the fact that after ROTJ, some dude apparently approached Luke with like, his Dad's will, and just told him, "Congrats, you are the sole beneficiary of Lord Vader's will. Enjoy this castle on the planet where your dad choked your mom and got chopped up and roasted like a marshmallow by his brother/dad. Also here are like 50 billion credits."

I have no idea whether this is real or even canon, but can you fucking imagine. Like, Vader, after finding out that he had a son, a son that he spent the last twenty years thinking that he murdered with his wife (he is two steps from Heathcliffing her mausoleum on Naboo), goes to "yes. I will put my affairs in order, and add my rebel son, who is wanted in every star system, in my fucking will." And then he does. Lucas wants me to believe that Darth Fucking Vader, who promoted his captain like six positions for convenience, actually took the time to put his child in his will, or even has a will.

Also, the question arises of how or even why the Emperor pays him. Like, Vader is the Supreme Leader of the Imperial Forces, and Palpatine should be rejoicing that a position that would normally extract millions of credits per annum is filled by a dude who genuinely does not give a fuck about money. Like, what the fuck you paying him for? SOMEONE MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!

I suppose the money could come from his spaceship collection, but still. how much are they worth? Does Vader have a bunch of vintage spaceships that cost a bunch that he upkeeps as a hobby? He crashes like, every single one of his ships so a pile of scrap metal can't be worth that much.

In a universe where canon makes as much sense as Ep VII, I broke at Vader and his fucking space Will. Someone please explain this.

Hot take: Padmé choosing Anakin despite (and maybe even because of) his red flags is the entire point of their relationship, and the theory that he intentionally or accidentally mind-tricked her into it misses the point completely and robs Padmé of her agency in the relationship.

You can't convince me that Anakin wouldn't have ditched Kyle Ron the second he started his weird Vader cult (it was weird when his subordinates and coworkers did it, and it's weird now, Kyle).

Padme would have dumped this asshat in the trashcan while Ahsoka filmed it.

Ahsoka and force ghost Anakin chilling:

Ahsoka: "Your granddaughter is strong with the force. Yesterday she levitated her building blocks. Drove Han crazy while Leia was laughing."

Anakin: (chuckles) "Well someone's gotta mess with my son in law if I can't. All I can do is spook him once in a while and even then Leia hasn't exactly adjusted to me as her father yet so I can't overdo it."

Ahsoka: "Don't worry master. She'll come around."

Anakin: "I'd understand if she didn't though. I'm still surprised you forgave me."

Ahsoka: "I was just happy you came back to yourself."

Anakin: "But Leia never knew me, she only knew.... Hold on. I hear something. I think it's an alternate universe. Oh wow that place is a mess. I gotta say something to help out. What do I say though? Something generic but helpful. Bring back the balance Rey, as I did."

Ahsoka: "What? Who the kriff is Rey? You're the only chosen one here."

Anakin: "I know but she's dying over there, I had to say something that might get her up. Oh here's another good generic one. The force surrounds you Rey. Oh hey Aayla!"

Ahsoka: "Aayla?! She's a ghost too?! Can I see her???"

Anakin: "Unfortunately this is an alternate universe Aayla ghost. She said 'Let it guide you'. Oh hey what if I gave you a cameo? How awesome would that be? Say the words 'as it guided us'."

Ahsoka: "What?! I can't even see what's going on in that universe."

Anakin: "Oh believe me you don't want to."

Ahsoka: "Fine. I'll say it. 'As it guided us'. Ok I said it, why are you so quiet?"

Anakin: "I shouldn't have helped her."

Ahsoka: "Why not?"

Anakin: "She buried my lightsaber in the kriffing sand!!!"

And that's the story of how Anakin and Ahsoka's voices made it into Rise of Skywalker, a messy alternate universe. And yes, Anakin is straight up ignoring Kylo Ren.

learning that people actually think Anakin Skywalker was a Mary Sue has to be the most brain-dead thing I've seen on this site.

Reading over debates and flame wars on this site about the Jedi, Sith or literally anything about Star Wars made me realize how truly futile it is to have true debates on canon. You just can't.

All of the retcons, continuity errors, levels of canon and the differences between Legends and Disney canon just make everyone's arguments valid in their own selected universes. You can't really expect other people to simply drop their universes that they grew up with, bought merchandise and became attached (ironic) to in terms of characters. Having a discussion about worldbuilding or characterization is practically impossible.

It's like arguing on Luke's characterization, only one person in the discussion is using the Star Wars universe and the other is using the Percy Jackson universe as their basis. There's no connection; you're all right in your own universes. And it all just goes round and round and round forever.

you know how some parents are like, really really intense and force their kids to practice violin 3 hours a day whether or not its good for their child as an individual because they have an idea about Greatness? That’s the Jedi with Anakin except they started teaching him to Murder