Anakin Getting Married At Nineteen Is Absolutely Hilarious To Me. Hysterical. This Is Peak Comedy To

Anakin getting married at nineteen is absolutely hilarious to me. Hysterical. This is peak comedy to me. Like, I cannot for the life of me imagine a boy who is in a monastic order that strongly discourages marriage getting married like two years out of high school. If it weren’t for the Shakespearian overtones of the prequels, this would probably get dunked on a whole lot more. I understand the whole lense of tragedy and sadness that the prequels are going for, so I forgive it a lot more. It has a sense of medieval aesthetic; the young knight marries his beloved before going off to war because both are afraid that they may never truly be together. 

That being said, the Star Wars prequels missed out on the opportunity to have Anakin and Padme get Vegas-married, all drunk and shit, and then just stay married because shit, why the hell not. Like, it makes so much more sense if it’s put that way. You could have a scene where the two get drunk because they’re depressed they started the war. They’re both already so reckless, so a bit of alcohol might push them over what they were already thinking about. What makes more sense; a marriage between two sober people, one of whom is twenty-four and mature enough to understand that they are both throwing away their careers for this, or two drunk idiots deciding that marriage after two days of knowing each other is the best fucking idea?

why does this make so much sense

han and leia are three times divorced and four times married. han and lando are twice divorced and once married, but both of the divorces happened before the marriage. han and chewie had a beautiful religious wookiee ceremony but never did the paperwork. han and luke have been fiancés since the party right after the destruction of the first death star.

"There ne'er was a tale of more woe, pride, and sin, than fair Padme, and her Anakin"

Does anyone ever think about the fact that almost every tragedy in the Star Wars universe could have been avoided if Anakin and Padme used birth control?

It's times like this that I have to remind myself that the Clone Wars timeline is set over three years. THREE FUCKING YEARS.

HOLD ON LEGENDS CANON SAYS THERE ARE THREE WEEKS BETWEEN ANAKIN BEING KNIGHTED AND TAKING AHSOKA AS A PADAWAN? AND A TOTAL OF SEVEN WEEKS BETWEEN AOTC AND THE CLONE WARS MOVIE?

This is hilarious. This is my favorite thing about the EU so far.

Like I’ve had sinus infections that lasted longer than Anakin’s solo Knighthood. I know heads of lettuce that lasted longer. THREE WEEKS??!?

Just imagine: Say Shmi dies, Anakin murders a village and loses his arm all on Halloween. By Thanksgiving, he’s gotten a new arm, gotten out of the hospital, gotten married, and been made a Jedi Knight. Then he fights in three major military engagements, takes on responsibility for a 14-year-old, and goes BACK to Tatooine where his mom died a month and a half ago and still has a full week to get his Christmas shopping done. He is a VERY BUSY GUY.

I’m not saying getting a full month to define himself as an individual would fix Anakin, both because that’s just the tip of the iceberg and because his brain fails to compute independence as a concept. What I’m saying is THREE WEEKS DFGJBJBJKCBAJKEKJWKJSD

[From the novel Clone Wars: Wild Space. Disclaimer: the book does also mention engagements on Anoth and Bakura after the seven week mark but before Christophsis, but Wookieepedia’s only reference to Anakin’s involvement in those is Wild Space itself, so I’m gonna assume they didn’t take super long?]

ATLA and Zuko

When I first watched ATLA as a teenager, my dumbass thought that Zuko's scar wasn't a scar. I thought that he got punched really hard one time (I'm not the most perceptive, so I didn't notice his deformed ear), and the animators were taking the time to establish continuity with injuries. I kept wondering why it never healed, and then the people in the show called it a scar, and Iroh told everyone Zuko's tragic backstory, and only then did I get it.

I was really stupid.