We Lost The Summer

We lost the Summer

⚝fic type: Y/A (coming-of-age)

⚝genre/contains: huening kai x reader, fluff, angst, gn!reader, non-idol!au with a dash of friends2lovers

⚝warnings: mentions of food (sweets & ice-cream)

⚝word count: 3.5k, pt 2/2 (part 1)

⚝A/N: Yes, I'm finally releasing this two months later. It's taken me so long to be happy with it 😭✌ but here we are! Dedicated to blonde hyuka who I've loved since forever💙

Spring break was fast approaching… and with it came that insufferable exam fever, punctuated by short bursts of the euphoric feeling of finally understanding the subject material. Much like the sun was now trying to peak its way down to you. Soft and tentative and brimming with the hope of a new season.

Your life in the city had taken an upturn. You started going out more often, and made good friends– some of whom you knew would be sticking around for the long run. It didn’t feel lonely anymore, and the uncertainty you had previously lugged around with every step had begun to unthaw like everything else as the seasons changed.

Mid-term exams came and went in a fleeting moment of perilous pressure, characterised by Soobin bursting into the library (earning himself a very dirty look from the librarian) and declaring that he actually hadn’t failed calculus. The exam season had been rough for you as well, but you tried to not worry about it too much. In any case, your mind was preoccupied with thoughts of flying home and all the things you’d do when you got there. You wondered if everything would be just as you’d left it, or if there had been significant change. It had only been nine months, sure, but that had been a lot of growing time on your end. Mentally, you were leaps and bounds ahead of where you’d been when you first moved out here.

A slight drizzle had kicked up by the time you got home, but you didn’t mind it one bit, immediately indulging yourself in all the familiar pleasures you had so dearly missed. The restaurant you used to frequent had been closed down, but your mother didn’t give you any time to grieve it with all the dishes she was whipping up. Your parents had always let you find your own way, and hadn’t tried convincing you to stay in your hometown when you decided to move away. Nevertheless, they had missed you all the same, and made up for the lost time with filling dinners and family outings.

As much as you tried not to think about him, Kai had been lingering at the back of your mind since you booked your flight home. The two of you had not talked in over nine months. Was he still living there? Maybe he’d taken a chance, like you, and moved away. You knew he’d always wanted to be a perfumer– as crazy as that sounds– and was now probably majoring in Chemistry.

Kai was sometimes your last thought before you slept, and your drowsy mind would annoyingly draw up scenarios of meeting him again. You had subtly asked your older sister about him and she’d confirmed that he still lived in your hometown. You would have to make a great effort to not ‘accidentally’ walk by his house as you strolled around the neighbourhood. You had spotted him around a few times; at the gas station once– the baseball cap obscuring his features doing nothing to stop you from recognizing your ex-best friend. You flush at the memory of how your heart had hammered as you rolled down your seat in order not to be seen by him. Your sister had given you a very curious look at that.

The first time you bumped into each other, you had quite literally halted in your tracks. You’d been hurrying off to a reunion party with a few of your family members and had rushed into the convenience store to get some snacks for the road. Kai was in the confectioneries isle, stacking up on skittles, marshmallows and gummy bears. You couldn’t help the chuckle that bubbled in your throat at the sight of his face taut with concentration. Kai detested shopping, yet never trusted anyone else to do his candy shopping for him. That was a sacred matter.

Kai had grown so much over your time apart. His long black locks had been cut short, his hair now a glowing blonde. It suited him well; the short pale strands accentuated his features that had begun to sharpen with time. You hadn’t been as adventurous, barely changing your hairstyle in your time away. However, you didn’t feel conscious about it– you were learning how to live life at your own pace. Before, such an inconsequential difference would have made you feel left behind. Everything had been a competition when you were in high school– and you used to feel like you were on the losing end half of the time.

Kai’s smile was as sweet as ever when he turned around at the sound of footsteps to be met by your own small smile. His cheeky grin lit up his face as his eyes danced under the fluorescent lights. The way the corners of his mouth quirked upwards always made him look like he was up to mischief– which he was, most of the time. Your friendship growing up had been greatly characterised by you bailing the two of you out of trouble after he’d convinced you to join him in doing something dumb (and mildly dangerous).

The two of you awkwardly fumbled between a hug and a handshake, all the more as you settled for a shaky version of the latter. Even though it was evident that you were both excited to meet each other again, your attempt at small talk did not venture beyond surface-level conversations. The hesitance that characterized all your meetings, hanging over them like a fog, reminded you of the gap breached between the two of you in high school. Just like back then, there were a few times in the present when you sensed that he might make a shot at truly reconnecting… but the moment would pass without any new development. Something kept getting in the way. Fear, pride… you couldn’t pin point exactly what it was. Another holiday was quickly coming to an end without the two of you making up, just like the way you’d lost the summer.

—

Eventually, about a fortnight before you were scheduled to travel back to college, you bump into Kai at your music store. This store had housed some of the best memories of your childhood; to find everything exactly as you had left it was a comfort words could not describe. You remember how sorely you had missed strolling through these isles at the beginning of your college year. Meeting Kai here only fuelled the nostalgia as you were the one who introduced him to this little slice of paradise on one of your innumerable walks home from school, back when you were children. It surprises you that Kai’s taste in music hasn’t changed much. Yours, on the other hand, had undergone a transformation of sorts within the time you’ve been away. It’s crazy how much music contributes to your mood; now that you’re listening to what you want (rather than going along with other people’s persuasions), you’ve found yourself far happier than you were during your high school years.

The two of you stumble over pleasantries as usual, sneaking glances at each other as you browse the shelves. At times your eyes would meet and you would be the one to look away, for Kai would only hold your gaze and venture no further. In your periphery you could spot the store’s owner, Namjoon, eyeing the two of you curiously. For all he knew, all he’d ever known, you and Kai were the best of friends– simply inseparable. He had never questioned you when you stopped bringing Kai to get new music with you in your final year of high school, simply assuming that the need to study was keeping Kai cooped up at home.

In the end, growing restless from this silent game, Kai broke the ice first and approached you, cracking an inside joke that he knew you could never resist laughing at. Within a matter of minutes it became apparent how foolish both of you were being by trying to avoid one another.

It’s amazing how conversation flows so naturally; anybody watching you two wouldn’t be able to tell that there had been radio silence from both ends for so long. Too long… but that void was rapidly closing with each laugh he managed to pull out of you.

The two of you agree to hit up your old ice cream parlour and Namjoon waves you goodbye on your way out, delight lighting up his features now that his favourite pair of troublemakers were back in business.

—

What you didn’t know was that Kai had missed you so much he couldn’t bear it. He would often catch himself wandering aimlessly on his walks alone after the two of you fell out. To see you again had given him a sliver of hope that he could make everything go back to the way it once was.

But Kai knew you well, and figured that the stubbornness in you– that he had over time grown to love– wouldn’t let you reach out first. Nevertheless, when he saw you at the music store he was determined to get you back. Somehow, he was going to make this work.

It had taken him so much time to stop eyeing his calendar after you left for college without coming to say goodbye. He was constantly reminded of you by the important dates you had marked onto it. Movie releases, when your favourite albums dropped, exams that you had to study for… you’d jot them down with the coloured glitter pens you would find scattered around his room. Your pens, actually- because Kai had an uncanny ability to nick them without you noticing a thing. You still scolded him for it now, almost a decade later.

—

You and Kai had spent countless Friday afternoons peering outside this parlour’s large windows, kneeling on your chairs to watch passers-by and cook up stories about what you two thought their lives were like. Kai would be reduced to fits of giggles as you pointed out random people with your ice-cream cone and invented incredibly detailed (and slightly unrealistic) tales about them. Your all-time favourite was a burly man who frequented the office building adjacent to the parlour. The two of you had convinced yourselves that guy was part of some mafia syndicate. He was always in dark sunglasses, had a comically twisted moustache, and on warmer days would rest against the hood of his car and smoke a cigar.

You find out Kai did really well in his high school exams; you hadn’t really followed up at the time. Your family was big on sending success cards, but when they sent one to Kai, the two of you were still distant. You remember writing a generic ‘good luck’ message that didn’t feel personal, didn’t feel like it was written by a friend he’d had for years. You feel a twinge of sadness at that. It’s crazy to think nearly all the ‘friendships’ that you had basically dumped Kai for had died out by the end of the summer following high school. It seemed the minute they left those school gates, those friends seemed to be ‘too busy’ for you. And yet, the boy who’d stuck by your side for so long was here with you now.

After getting your order you sit on the sidewalk outside the parlour sharing earphones. You two laugh as you remember getting into trouble together for doing this during a lesson when you were deskmates. Kai had been a quiet kid before befriending you… but that changed drastically once he came out of his shell. Kai was constantly getting himself into trouble, both at school and at home. You’ll always loved the image of a then tiny Kai being scolded and pinched on his chubby cheek for coming home all muddy after an electrifying football match. It had been around the world cup and all the kids on your street would spend the whole day outside, mimicking the matches they had watched on TV. Kai had been trying to run into the kitchen with filthy shoes all because he’d smelled his favourite food. As you shared your current mishaps and gossiped about the students in your respective courses, you were starting to feel like you’d gotten your confidant back. Kai was so easy to talk to. He was never judgemental and, after years of friendship, understood what you were saying before you even completed your sentences. It only occurred to you now, in the tentative afternoon sun, how handsome Kai was becoming as he grew older. Had he really always looked like this?

When you looked at him for too long, however, all you could see was that mischievous boy who’d been stealing all your glitter pens since fifth grade– and you told him as much.

“What do you mean by that?” He gasped, then raised an eyebrow. “You don’t find me breath-taking?”

“Absolutely not-”

“Simply just dazzling?” He posed, pouting his lips.

“Nope,” you laughed. “You’re a thief. A criminal, Kai.”

“Then you must be Britney Spears.” He teased with a wink, causing you to throw your bag at him with mock disgust.

—

On the eve of your departure, Kai agreed to come over and help you pack. It was the last time you would have any time together before you left as only your family was taking you to the airport for your short flight back. You had spent the better part of your last two weeks at home in each other’s company.

But despite of your plans, the day stretched on with no sign of Huening Kai.

You called him to no avail, because his phone was off. You’d tried waiting for him… tried to delay your inevitable separation, but it was no use. Packing your things alone, you bit back your worry and slight disappointment, hoping that Kai was alright and figuring that something urgent must’ve come up.

Kai showed up the next day, about half an hour before you were scheduled to leave for the airport. By that time you had written off any hope of seeing him before you left, so it surprised you when he came hurtling into your room.

“I’m so sorry I’m late I-”

“Are you alright? What happened?” You took note of the way he was panting as if he’d just ran a marathon.

“My dog,” he explained, trying to catch his breath. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t make it. She got sick, and the vet was out of town. My phone died on me-”

“Hey,” you softly stopped his rambling, motioning for him to take a seat on your bed. “Take it easy, it’s fine.”

Any disappointment that you previously held dissipated at the genuine remorse in his eyes. You knew that dog was getting really old, and how Kai would do anything not to lose her just yet… even if, like the two of you now, the separation would eventually be inevitable. Kai had always been bad at handling goodbyes of any nature, and for the first time you wondered how he coped when you left last August.

“It’s not fine, I know-” his breath got caught in his chest and he took a moment to steady his breathing. “I know you’ll be leaving for even longer this time and I…”

He trailed off, eyes trained on your shelf full of his music albums. His eyebrows furrowed as if he was in pain.

What he was saying was true, you had planned to stay in your college’s city till the end of year. Your life in the new city had started to look up; you were starting to really enjoy your time there.

“I know you won’t be coming back for the summer,” he continued, standing up and walking towards you. “And we’ve both been pretty stupid but I honestly wish I hadn’t wasted so much time.”

His mind was racing with the slight panic of losing you again. A nightmarish week, another month, a year…

He couldn’t bear to live in limbo for any longer, not when you’d just managed to reconcile. He felt bad you two spent nearly the whole holiday avoiding each other. Being with you this summer had evoked feelings within him that he had previously dismissed. Kai wondered if, given the chance, your friendship could eventually have led to something bigger.

“I should’ve looked for you earlier, maybe if I had-”

“There’s no point in dwelling on that now,” you tried reasoning with him.

You were caught between a rock and a hard place. On one hand, you didn’t see a real reason to keep flying back home- it costed money, and was really rather unnecessary considering your parents weren’t nagging you to keep visiting; you’d been lucky in that department, unlike so many of your classmates. On the other hand, here was your best friend of so many years who you doubt you could live without again.

Your thoughts are interrupted by your sister calling for you from downstairs, announcing that it was time to leave.

Kai felt like he was losing his grip. He racked his brain for a convincing argument but his conscience knew that making you come back just for him would be selfish considering how happy you were in your new city.

He pulled you into an unexpected hug, trying to convey all that he struggled to put into words into it. You noticed that he’d changed his cologne since high school. This one was mature compared to the crazy experiments he used to pull… mixing different scents into one bottle and beaming when it smelled half decent.

You found yourself melting into the embrace, drawing him impossibly closer. You had missed this for so long when the two of you were apart. Kai placed a soft kiss to your temple and the action made your breath catch for a moment. You remembered all those months ago when your mother told you that if it was meant to be it would work out in the end.

He mustered a faint smile when you pull away to face him again.

“I’m not losing you again.” You promised determinedly, ruffling his blonde hair that you’d steadily become obsessed with.  

“We’ll find a way.” He promised back simply with a wink, returning to his usual playful nature.

The two of you make your way downstairs, Kai offering to help you with your luggage. Your mother, who’d not seen Kai come in, beams at him when you two get to the landing. She’d been ecstatic when you dragged him over for dinner last week, seeing that he hadn’t been over in almost a year.

The very last goodbyes are the hardest ones of all, you conclude, when you pull Kai into a final hug. You didn’t want to think about how difficult it would be to walk away from your family once it was time to board the plane.

You find yourself muttering his name with the air that it was the last time you’d have it on your lips; slightly pained and breathless with defeat. He pulls you in tighter, whispering reassurances in your ear. If anything, the fact that you had him back in your life would be enough comfort to get you through your flight.

—

The plane ride is uneventful and you can already feel the jetlag knocking on your door when you get to your dorm room. It’s a comfortable feeling, though, walking through the campus. This place has become a second home to you in its own way.

You glimpse Soobin on your way to the hostels but barely have enough energy to engage him in conversation. In any case he was busy play-fighting with a friend of his; Soobin was tearing down the corridor, the other boy hot on his heels and aiming a water gun at him, laughing wildly. You recognized Beomgyu from your Business class, and Soobin had been ranting to you over the phone about the long-haired boy since they’d met at a gaming convention over spring break. It seems as if your friend group would be expanding soon.

In spite of your exhaustion, you’d hate to have the task of unpacking looming over you tomorrow morning, so you sigh and get down to it. Your roommate, Yeonjun, isn’t back yet, so you can’t ask him for help. When you unzip the front pocket of your suitcase where you’d packed your toiletries, you find a note stuck onto a brand new pack of glitter pens. You recognize the neat scrawl as Kai’s handwriting. When on earth did he have the time to slip this into your suitcase?

You stare at the note incredulously, letting out a breathless laugh.

“I’ve been in and out of my uni’s admissions office for the past few days. Looks like I’ll be transferring! Surprise!

Insane, I know, but long story short… I’ll be over this summer. This paper is too tiny for details anyway.

Anyways, I thought it was about time I bought you some of these ;) I’ll probably steal them all back when I get there but oh well.

Enjoy! ~Kai.”

Huening Kai was crazy, you thought, grinning to yourself as you made a mental note to contact him first thing in the morning. You suppose there’s just about enough room for one more person at your lunch table.

⚝A/N: As always, I'd really love to hear your thoughts :) Thank you for reading❣

⚝taglist: @bluebearybeom

Gossiping with skz is almost hitting 2k😭❤❤ I'd like to celebrate this with another comedy headcannon! Help me choose :)

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