An Autistics Foreign Language Study Tips

an autistic’s foreign language study tips

preparation

choose a specific notebook for everything you learn. having one place to put everything down helps with organising your own brain. it doesn’t matter what your notebook looks like, but I would recommend finding a pretty or good quality one - it helps you see your language practice as more valuable and significant to your life

create a system to keep track of your progress, and DATE EVERYTHING. this is big in self-motivation and encouragement. if you have tangible evidence of how far you have come, it is easier to convince yourself, your self-doubt and anxiety, that you ARE doing good

put together or find a few playlists of songs sung in your chosen language to listen to, while you study or in your free time. this is called immersion. regardless of whether you understand the words or not, this gets you used to hearing your chosen language. the music itself can be catchy or chill, but most importantly, music in general trains your brain to focus (esp for us peeps who struggle with studying in silence). alternatively, podcasts or youtube videos are great resources!! listening to how native speakers pronounce the language will train your brain to pronounce the words the same as you study and practice - just like how when you were learning your first language, the pronunciations of the people around you molded the way you speak. side note: if your executive functioning is making it difficult to study, listening to your chosen language can keep your brain in the mode of learning without the stress of sitting down to study.

beginning

learn the personal pronouns first. words like I, you, we, me, they, she, he, etc. are immensely helpful when writing simple sentences. once you learn the most commonly used verbs, you can use both to begin expressing yourself and things around you.

find a list of the top most commonly used verbs. study these using whichever method fits your learning style the best. try to master 10 first, then move onto 20, gradually increasing the amount of words you study/memorize. make sure you adjust to your own capabilities; don’t overwhelm yourself, but don’t forget to challenge yourself a little.

HANDWRITE your chosen verbs. this will aid in muscle memory. you can copy the words down once or a hundred times, whichever works best for you, but writing it in your own handwriting imprints the image of the word into your mind. once you become familiar with the look of the word, it will be easier to read and recognise it.

learn how to conjugate your chosen verbs. conjugating is probably the most difficult, BUT once you figure out the basics, it’s smooth sailing (aside from the irregular verbs. they can sink into the abyss).

balance learning verbs with learning easy vocabulary. for me, learning words such as flower, tea, and forest are somehow much easier to remember than most verbs. that’s because these are things that you can SEE. you have an object to connect the word with - bam! automatic association technique.

begin writing your own sentences. it doesn’t matter if the sentences don’t make sense, it’s even better because the stark ridiculousness of your imagination will help you remember your vocab.

learn the lyrics to songs in your foreign language. this will help you practice the speaking skill of language learning. and we all know lyrics are much easier to memorise than lists of vocabulary. side note: singing along to songs is an effective way of learning if you don’t have time to sit down and dedicate an hour to studying. it’s also super fun!

IMPORTANT!!! continue to record your progress, whether it be in a notebook or a digital platform. i can’t seem to keep up with a bullet journal, but whatever system you create to keep track of your improvement, update it OFTEN (every day, every other day, or every week). you might even have fun recording your pronunciation (on video or audio) to look back on a few months down the road.

maintaining

study as often as you can, but DO NOT pressure yourself to do so every day. if you physically cannot study every single day, try the two day method. keep up the habit of studying your chosen language as much as you can, but if you need a break day, TAKE IT. but don’t allow yourself to go without studying a second day. this will be a challenge, but depending on how you schedule yourself, there is plenty of time for rest and recuperation. side note: there are challenges that you can do to externally motivate yourself to study often, such as the 30 days of studying or 100 days of productivity trends.

begin a journal in your chosen language. writing little things about your day, your thoughts, your life will advance your language learning process. you will become more familiar with everyday expressions, verbs, nouns, and you will practice conjugating in a low-stress, low-pressure environment. AND if you write often, even if it’s just a few sentences or words, you will train your brain to think in your chosen language in a way that is personal and memorable.

start a quote book. translate quotes from english to your foreign language, or find quotes already in your foreign language, and WRITE THEM DOWN. this will expose you to new vocabulary and motivate you to discover new sentence structures. this way you can meld language learning with your favourite interests and self-motivate

translate the lyrics to songs you love. whether it’s from your first language to your second or your second to your first, translate the words that make you happy. this mixes your passion with something that is a little more challenging and builds motivation and self-esteem.

IMPORTANT!!! continue to keep track of your progress. update that system you created in the beginning. maybe even once you’ve become comfortable enough speaking simple sentences, you can record yourself on video or audio. and if it’s not too anxiety inducing, maybe you could share your video/audio to ask for critique

note: this is by NO means, a complete “guide to language learning”. this is simply a list of things that have helped me learn better and encouraged me to study more often.

Queen Of Perfume

Choosing your own perfume

This is obviously a highly private choice, so I would recommend to try and try and try perfumes at the shop. Try them, go every week at the perfume shop to try two perfumes, one on each wirst. Keep on trying until you find a perfume that makes you never want to find another one. It just clicks, you just KNOW it it's the right one.

Smell the test perfumes 5 min after spray, 15 minutes, 1 hours then 4 hours.

Do NOT wear any other perfume if you test new ones, as it may layer and give you the wrong impression

Some perfumes might smell AMAZING on the paper tester, but smell awful on you. That's very much possible, perfume's aroma is highly dependent on the body chemistry

Some perfumes fit better a season sadly, so be prepared to the possibility your perfume might fit you a few months out the year.

Once you've chosen your perfume, the price might be highly expensive but keep in mind you're creating your signature brand. The brain has a strong association to smells and one will remember you dearly if they smell your perfume again. Again, you use so little at a time.

Do not diss the cheaper perfumes! Again, with body chemistry, it influences how the perfume will smell on you and a okayish perfume on the paper might smell SUBLIME on you. My own perfume cost 40$ but it smells incredible on me and I always get compliments on it.

The trend those times is single smell perfumes, those that only have one aroma in it. Personnally I find those really curious but they're not my favourite but I still encourage you to try them out. Your body might make those perfumes exquisite.

ASK for samplers!! The shop ladies probably have a million of samplers. Went to a shop, they had 3 drawers FULL of samplers. A treasure for experiment!

If a perfume gives you headarche or nausea or plainly you dislike it, it's not a good one. Shalimar smelt AMAZING on the paper sampler but on me it smelt like cigarettes so much I had to wash it off.

To find similar perfumes to one you did like, check out the .. It gives the notes, the perfume family, reviews etc...

Wearing perfume

Go at tiny amounts at a time. Always. You don't want to be THAT person that smells so much perfume it stinks. Add on more if needed. It is hard to remove but easy to add.

Always ALWAYS use soaps, shampoos and creams that are very low smell, have a similar perfume family as your perfume (let's say I wear a summery coconut-ish monoi perfume, I wouldn't be buying stuff that has fresh laundry smell, per example.). Personally I don't want to do any faux pas, and I go for smell-free hygiene stuff so my perfume isn't challenged or wronged.

DO NOT SPRAY ON CLOTHES. Always on skin. Some perfumes stay permanently on fabric so it's important to be careful.

Exfoliate your skin, make sure your basic body hygiene is up to point. Scrub out the armpits then add Deo almost asap after the shower. Scrub your feets, intimates, rinse it thoroughly. Pat dry your skin. You want a nice foundation for a perfume masterpiece.

If you're about to have sex, spray a minuscule amount at the areas he might put his nose on. Lower belly, nape of neck, etc. Do not put ANY where he might lick. Some perfumes taste AWFUL.

Spread some Vaseline on the areas you're about to spray, so it lasts all day.

DO NOT DO THE PERFUME CLOUD N'WALK, it wastes a stupid amount of perfume. Instead just spray on the wirsts then dab on the neck. That way, less waste and the perfume won't dissipate so fast.

Body mists go away SO fast so you have to reapply a few times a day. Perfumes only once a day. Some are so strong it still persists for two or three days on skin.

Do not hesitate to ask feedback from family, friends and partners. They're your best allies for choosing the right perfume.

Men's favourite scents are vanilla, fruity/sugary scents, lily of the valley. But again, if you LOVE one perfume and most ppl say it's amazing and it doesn't contains those scents, don't dismiss just because of that.

Confidence is the best buddy to perfume. A uncomfortable gal makes a perfume smell meh, but on a QUEEN a perfume might smell incredible... Keep your head high and carry on.

Routledge Masterpost

Here are all of the Routledge Grammar PDFs that I currently have. I’ll be updating whenever I find more. Let me know if there’s one in particular you want me to look for^^

Last Update: 2017/04/24

Fixed Intermediate Japanese: A Grammar and Workbook link 

Added books for Czech, English, French, French Creoles, Persian, Ukranian

Added more books in Cantonese, Danish, Greek, Polish, Spanish, Swedish

Arabic

Arabic: An Essential Grammar Basic Arabic: A Grammar and Workbook Modern Written Arabic: A Comprehensive Grammar

Cantonese

Basic Cantonese: A Grammar and Workbook Cantonese: A Comprehensive Grammar Intermediate Cantonese: A Grammar and Workbook

Czech

Czech: An Essential Grammar

Danish

Danish: A Comprehensive Grammar Danish: An Essential Grammar

Dutch

Basic Dutch: A Grammar and Workbook Dutch: A Comprehensive Grammar Dutch: An Essential Grammar Intermediate Dutch: A Grammar and Workbook

English

English: An Essential Grammar

Finnish

Finnish: An Essential Grammar

French

Modern French Grammar Workbook

French Creoles

French Creoles: A Comprehensive and Comparative Grammar

German

Basic German: A Grammar and Workbook German: An Essential Grammar Intermediate German: A Grammar and Workbook

Greek

Greek: A Comprehensive Grammar Greek: An Essential Grammar of the Modern Language

Hindi

Hindi: An Essential Grammar

Hebrew

Modern Hebrew: An Essential Grammar

Hungarian

Hungarian: An Essential Grammar

Indonesian

Indonesian: A Comprehensive Grammar

Irish

Basic Irish: A Grammar and Workbook Intermediate Irish: A Grammar and Workbook

Italian

Basic Italian: A Grammar and Workbook

Japanese

Basic Japanese: A Grammar and Workbook Intermediate Japanese: A Grammar and Workbook Japanese: A Comprehensive Grammar

Korean

Basic Korean: A Grammar and Workbook Intermediate Korean: A Grammar and Workbook Korean: A Comprehensive Grammar

Latin

Intensive Basic Latin: A Grammar and Workbook Intensive Intermediate Latin: A Grammar and Workbook

Latvian

Latvian: An Essential Grammar

Mandarin Chinese

Basic Chinese: A Grammar and Workbook Intermediate Chinese: A Grammar and Workbook Chinese: A Comprehensive Grammar Chinese: An Essential Grammar

Norwegian

Norwegian: An Essential Grammar

Persian

Basic Persian: A Grammar and Workbook Intermediate Persian: A Grammar and Workbook

Polish

Basic Polish: A Grammar and Workbook Intermediate Polish: A Grammar and Workbook Polish: A Comprehensive Grammar Polish: An Essential Grammar

Portuguese

Portuguese: An Essential Grammar

Romanian

Romanian: An Essential Grammar

Russian

Basic Russian: A Grammar and Workbook Intermediate Russian: A Grammar and Workbook

Serbian

Serbian: An Essential Grammar

Spanish

Basic Spanish: A Grammar and Workbook Intermediate Spanish: A Grammar and Workbook Spanish: An Essential Grammar

Swahili

Swahili Grammar and Workbook

Swedish

Swedish: A Comprehensive Grammar Swedish: An Essential Grammar

Thai

Thai: An Essential Grammar

Turkish

Turkish: A Comprehensive Grammar

Ukrainian

Ukrainian: A Comprehensive Grammar

Urdu

Urdu: An Essential Grammar

Welsh

Modern Welsh: A Comprehensive Grammar

Yiddish

Basic Yiddish: A Grammar and Textbook

Hope this helps everyone out a bit! Happy studying^^

-koreanbreeze

I want to live by myself when I move out of my parent's place but I'm really afraid of money problems? I'm afraid that the only place I can afford will be in the ghetto and it'll all be torn apart and I'll only be allowed to eat one granola bar a week. I'm really stressing out about this. I don't know anything about after school life. I don't know anything about paying bills or how to buy an apartment and it's really scaring me. is there anything you know that can help me?

HI darling,

I’ve actually got a super wonderful masterpost for you to check out:

Home

what the hell is a mortgage?

first apartment essentials checklist

how to care for cacti and succulents

the care and keeping of plants

Getting an apartment

Money

earn rewards by taking polls

how to coupon

what to do when you can’t pay your bills

see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill

how to save money

How to Balance a Check Book

How to do Your Own Taxes

Health

how to take care of yourself when you’re sick

things to bring to a doctor’s appointment

how to get free therapy

what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment

how to make a doctor’s appointment

how to pick a health insurance plan

how to avoid a hangover

a list of stress relievers

how to remove a splinter

Emergency

what to do if you get pulled over by a cop

a list of hotlines in a crisis

things to keep in your car in case of an emergency

how to do the heimlich maneuver

Job

time management

create a resume

find the right career

how to pick a major

how to avoid a hangover

how to interview for a job

how to stop procrastinating

How to write cover letters

Travel

ULTIMATE PACKING LIST

Traveling for Cheap

Travel Accessories

The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase

How To Read A Map

How to Apply For A Passport

How to Make A Travel Budget

Better You

read the news

leave your childhood traumas behind

how to quit smoking

how to knit

how to stop biting your nails

how to stop procrastinating

how to stop skipping breakfast

how to stop micromanaging

how to stop avoiding asking for help

how to stop swearing constantly

how to stop being a pushover

learn another language

how to improve your self-esteem

how to sew

learn how to embroider

how to love yourself

100 tips for life

Apartments/Houses/Moving

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 1: Are You Sure? (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 2: Finding the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 3: Questions to Ask about the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 4: Packing and Moving All of Your Shit (The Responsible One)

How to Protect Your Home Against Break-Ins (The Responsible One)

Education

How to Find a Fucking College (The Sudden Adult)

How to Find Some Fucking Money for College (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do When You Can’t Afford Your #1 Post-Secondary School (The Sudden Adult)

Stop Shitting on Community College Kids (Why Community College is Fucking Awesome) (The Responsible One)

How to Ask for a Recommendation Letter (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a College Major (The Sudden Adult)

Finances

How to Write a Goddamn Check (The Responsible One)

How to Convince Credit Companies You’re Not a Worthless Bag of Shit (The Responsible One)

Debit vs Credit (The Responsible One)

What to Do if Your Wallet is Stolen/Lost (The Sudden Adult)

Budgeting 101 (The Responsible One)

Important Tax Links to Know (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a Bank Without Screwing Yourself (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting

How to Write a Resume Like a Boss (The Responsible One)

How to Write a Cover Letter Someone Will Actually Read (The Responsible One)

How to Handle a Phone Interview without Fucking Up (The Responsible One)

10 Sites to Start Your Job Search (The Responsible One)

Life Skills

Staying in Touch with Friends/Family (The Sudden Adult)

Bar Etiquette (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do After a Car Accident (The Sudden Adult)

Grow Up and Buy Your Own Groceries (The Responsible One)

How to Survive Plane Trips (The Sudden Adult)

How to Make a List of Goals (The Responsible One)

How to Stop Whining and Make a Damn Appointment (The Responsible One)

Miscellaneous

What to Expect from the Hell that is Jury Duty (The Responsible One)

Relationships

Marriage: What the Fuck Does It Mean and How the Hell Do I Know When I’m Ready? (Guest post - The Northwest Adult)

How Fucked Are You for Moving In with Your Significant Other: An Interview with an Actual Real-Life Couple Living Together™ (mintypineapple  and catastrofries)

Travel & Vehicles

How to Winterize Your Piece of Shit Vehicle (The Responsible One)

How to Make Public Transportation Your Bitch (The Responsible One)

Other Blog Features

Apps for Asshats

Harsh Truths & Bitter Reminders

Asks I’ll Probably Need to Refer People to Later

Apartments (or Life Skills) - How Not to Live in Filth (The Sudden Adult)

Finances - Tax Basics (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Copy of Your Birth Certificate (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Replacement ID (The Responsible One)

Health - How to Deal with a Chemical Burn (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - List of Jobs Based on Social Interaction Levels (The Sudden Adult)

Job Hunting - How to Avoid Falling into a Pit of Despair While Job Hunting (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - Questions to Ask in an Interview (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - First-Time Flying Tips (The Sudden Adult)

Life Skills - How to Ask a Good Question (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Reasons to Take a Foreign Language (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Opening a Bar Tab (The Sudden Adult)

Relationships - Long Distance Relationships: How to Stay in Contact (The Responsible One)

Adult Cheat Sheet:

what to do if your pet gets lost

removing stains from your carpet

how to know if you’re eligible for food stamps

throwing a dinner party

i’m pregnant, now what?

first aid tools to keep in your house

how to keep a clean kitchen

learning how to become independent from your parents

job interview tips

opening your first bank account

what to do if you lose your wallet

tips for cheap furniture

easy ways to cut your spending

selecting the right tires for your car

taking out your first loan

picking out the right credit card

how to get out of parking tickets

how to fix a leaky faucet

get all of your news in one place

getting rid of mice & rats in your house

when to go to the e.r.

buying your first home

how to buy your first stocks

guide to brewing coffee

first apartment essentials checklist

coping with a job you hate

30 books to read before you’re 30

what’s the deal with retirement?

difference between insurances

Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:

Reasons to move out of home

You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:

wishing to live independently

location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university

conflict with your parents

being asked to leave by your parents.

Issues to consider when moving out of home

It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t anticipate, such as:

Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.

Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise, especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything. Debt may become an issue.

Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time, sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.

Your parents may be worried

Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different things. For example:

They may worry that you are not ready.

They may be sad because they will miss you.

They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.

They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.

Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly. Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your plans and support your decision.

Tips for a successful move

Tips include:

Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?

Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include ‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond (usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too – getting along is a two-way street.

Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.

Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking). Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.

Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.

If your family home does not provide support

Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to cope.

If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden transition to independence.

If you need support, help is available from a range of community and government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents, call one of the associations below for information, advice and assistance.

Where to get help

Your doctor

Kids Helpline Tel. 1800 55 1800

Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44

Home Ground Services Tel. 1800 048 325

Relationships Australia Tel. 1300 364 277

Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50

Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. (03) 9416 2577

Things to remember

Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.

Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses, such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations. 

(source)

Keep me updated? xx

Ladies, get your notebooks out because class is back in session today and this is going to be a long one 😈

I’ve been away due to travel and exploring new business ventures, so I apologize for not uploading this sooner. Hopefully, you haven’t been waiting too long for this much needed topic!

I’ve received many questions in the past regarding the topic of “Age & Hypergamy” and I just knew this was an important lesson to cover. There’s a lot involved with this topic including:

- How your age impacts your hypergamous journey  - Advantages - Disadvantages - How to maximize your journey in relation to your age - What to focus on I could go on for days! The point is: your age does influence your journey, and today we’re going to talk about it.

THE BASICS

1. No, You Are Not “Too Old” For Hypergamy. I don’t know why y’all are still listening to these fraudulent male coaches. They are LYING. It doesn’t matter if you’re 21, 31, 41, or 51. You can be hypergamous at any age. In fact, you should be hypergamous at every age. There is no reason for you to “stop” being hypergamous because you are older. Does a dog stop being a dog because it’s older??? Do men stop chasing women when they’re old and have erectile dysfunction? NOPE. 🤦

2. Better Late Than Never. I hear this one a lot: “I’m late to the game” or “I didn’t know about hypergamy when I was younger”. LADIES. Please! It doesn’t matter if you just discovered hypergamy 5 minutes ago: Welcome. It doesn’t matter if I’m the first person to introduce you to hypergamy: Welcome.  Now is the time to learn and achieve your goals and dreams.

The end result is what matters. Some people don’t learn how to swim until adulthood, but at the end of the day at least they learned. Plenty of women were raised by hypergamous mothers but grow up to be the King of Pick Me’s. Timing doesn’t always lead to the expected results. So, better late than never.

3. It’s Not an Equal Playing Field. Your hypergamous journey will not be the same in your 30s as it was in your 20s. I’m not going to lie to you ladies and pretend like regardless of your age your journey and options will be the same. It will not. You must adjust your game according to your age to maximize your success.

This is an important element to possess in  ALL areas of your life. The ability to be flexible and fluid. If you are not adjusting yourself throughout life you will get left behind. The best example I have for this is with makeup. The makeup  I did at 14 years old vs now has evolved tremendously. I cringe at the makeup looks I used to wear in high school. But through exposure and practice, I evolved. You will evolve too, but you must be flexible and open to change.

🌻 LADIES 18-24 🌻 My lovely Debutantes! Young, eager, and optimistic. You’re a breath of fresh air to mundane adulthood, and can easily captivate a room with your dreams and aspirations.

Advantages:

🌻 Time. Ladies, if you are in this age range, you’re in luck because you have started your journey very young and have more time to invest in yourself and social climbing. The older you get the busier life will get, so use this extra time now to be selfish.

You have time to refine yourself. You have time to make mistakes and learn from them. Use this extra time wisely. 

🌻 You Attract Easily. Society and evolution are on your side; an attractive woman in her 20s should be able to attract a broad scope of men. In our society, youth and beauty are both prized. As long as you look put together, you will find attracting men is easy – however, this doesn’t mean that they are good men or affluent. Also, keep in mind that attracting men doesn’t mean they’ll stick around.

Use this to your advantage by having a good roster of men.

🌻 Optimistic. Those who are younger are generally more optimistic about life because life is just beginning for them. If you possess this natural trait, capitalize on it! This is a very attractive trait to possess at any age. Now, I know that nowadays it’s popular for young ladies to be “edgy” and depression is touted around like a desirable personality trait. Ladies, if you struggle with mental illness get help. Do not show it off on Tiktok like it’s a new purse. Get help.

Being an overall pleasant person to be around with makes you naturally charismatic!

Disadvantages:

🌻 Dating for Love. Movies and society sold us this fairytale about “true love” and “living happily ever after”. Well, I’m your Fairy Godsister and I’m here to tell you that if you are dating solely for love, you are dating for nonsense. Date. With. A. Purpose. Love should never be your primary focus when dating. A man should meet your requirements before you “fall in love”, not the other way around. (Honestly, “falling in love” is a scam that’ll distract you from making responsible decisions. Would you buy a house just based on pictures they show you because you “fell in love with it”? Or would you go look at the house in person first, and make sure it’s not falling apart on the inside?)

🌻 “A Good Time”. So this is the tricky part about being on the younger side of this journey. If you’re hoping to get married early to a wealthy, high value man, you will have to present yourself in a manner that doesn’t get you placed in the “fun” category. Some men see your youth as something for a good time, not a long time (marriage). So it’s easy for them to waste your time.

🌻 Naive. Ok, sis. Let’s be real. You don’t know anything at 18. You’re not as smart as you think you are at 21 either. This age group is the most vulnerable due to inexperience and the risk of being scammed/being taken advantage of. The best you can do is start learning now and get smart, quickly. Always put your wants and needs first. Don’t get played. You don’t owe anyone anything. Don’t think sex will keep a man.

🌻 Financially Insecure. Most of you in this age group are probably living with your parents or living with limited income. Nothing is wrong with this, however, be careful because some men may try to control you financially, especially if you depend on them for your bills and living expenses.

🌻 Pressure/Struggle Love. Chances are you’re surrounded with friends who are:

1. Doing struggle love/pick me’s  2. In relationships that are not hypergamous (50/50 relationships) 3. “Having fun” (hoeing around) This pressure may influence you, so you must be careful who you surround yourself with.

What to Focus On:

🌻 Your education! Your career! Make something of yourself.  🌻 Take care of your body. There is no reason you should be out of shape at this age. Being “thicc” has been misused.  🌻 Stacking cash. Trust me, you’ll thank me in the future. Stop wasting your money at Forever 21, Pink, and Bath & Body Works. Invest in quality items, while saving money 

🌻 Building connections. At this age, it’s appropriate to have “mentors”. Use this to your advantage. Reach out to those in the industry you want to work in and request an opportunity to shadow. 🌻 Yourself. Your passions. Your interests. Focus on yourself. 🌻 Discovering your ideal look. You’re growing into your body still, which is the perfect time to experiment and see which looks work for you. 🌻 Addressing your mental health. It is not normal to always be depressed or anxious. Please get your mental health in order sooner rather than later.

🌸 LADIES 25-34  🌸

My darling Mademoiselles. This age group is trouble in all the right ways. Beautiful and dangerous. Wise and vibrant. The ultimate femme fatales.

Advantages

🌸 Marriage Material. This age range is usually the range where most hypergamous women get married. If you don’t believe me, look at socialites (especially those who come from old money) who are married. Most of them tend to marry within this age range. 

( Note: Academics plays a large role in this; the wealthy value education. Although a high value man doesn’t care how much money you make, having an educated background is something they do value. Most women don’t finish their education until the age of  22 – and that’s if they stop at a Bachelors. They tend to get married after this period).

🌸 Freedom.  If you want to date hypergamously, you must be ready to go out with your roster. That means dates and trips. At this age range, you tend to have a lot of freedom because you usually live alone, and have your own source of income to fall back on.

🌸 Appearance There’s a lot of conflicting opinions on when a woman hits her prime. Dusty men talk nonsense about women “hitting a wall” at 30, which is FALSE. I promise you if you maintain your appearance, you will find that you look better in your 30s than you did in your 20s. And you will have more success because you have mastered seduction techniques in addition to your appearance.

I find that this age range tends to have more power because they can combine their refined appearance with their sensuality to get the best outcome.

Disadvantages

🌸 Family Around this age range, some of you probably have a child. Now, how does being a mother work with hypergamy?

First, I want to be very clear with you all: Having children will not stop you from being hypergamous. I know a lot of male “dating gurus” make it seem like being a single mother is a dealbreaker– it’s not. 

However, certain  aspects of being a mother may bring disadvantages to your journey including: - Limitations; if you are a single mom that has children under the age of 13, chances are your opportunities to freestyle are limited unless you have a reliable caretaker. You cannot travel freely, or leave your child whenever you please to go out and about.  - Baby daddy drama: Some exes may stir up trouble if they discover you’re out dating. And not just dating any kind of men– men that are better than them. - Difficulty receiving: being a single mother is hard. And naturally, you may have developed a tough exterior to protect yourself and your child. You might also struggle with accepting help from others and this may show up in your relationships. -Mothering; ladies! Mother your child(ren), NOT the men on your roster.

🌸 Pressure

This is the age range where it seems like everyone around you is settling down. You’ll see friends and acquaintances getting married, having children, establishing wonderful careers… And you may feel the pressure to “catch up” and do the same and settle.

Ladies, when I first started my journey I made the decision for myself: hypergamy, or nothing. I wasn’t going to settle in ANY area of my life, just because those around me were. You live your life on your own time and do not let this pressure influence you.

🌸 Living Life Aimlessly.

Does this sound like you: You finished high school, and then scurried off to college. Why? No clue, that’s what everyone else is doing and you were told you needed college for a decent job. Then you study something for a career that you hope you’ll enjoy. Some of you don’t even know what career you wanted, but you still go to college and get the degree. Great. Next, you have a job, and you’re out in the real world.

Now what? Maybe you want to travel. Possibly get married. Perhaps one day start a business. Maybe buy a house. Lots of ideas and hopes, but no plans. This is a common pattern that I’ve noticed in women after they finish college and start working. They have zero direction. They just live life day by day like they’re playing a game of Monopoly and hope they land on a good property and don’t end up on the “Go to Jail” space.

What to Focus On:

🌸 Make. A. Plan. Just like you planned to go to college to get a degree and a job, plan the next phase of your life. You don’t have to stick to it 100%, it can change as you progress through life. But you need some sort of path that you desire. Otherwise, you’re just guessing your way through life. 🌸 Maintaining your appearance (weight, skincare, hair care, etc.). There are no excuses, ladies! Don’t let yourself go because you’re busy, or you had children. 🌸 Stability; aim for financial, emotional, and social stability. Surround yourself with like-minded friends. Ensure you are not scrambling each month to pay bills. Focus on security and stability. 🌸 Not getting distracted by “good” d*ck/being roommates with a man. Ain’t no d*ck good enough to accept a mediocre life.   🌸 Being active within your community; this is the easiest way to social climb. And at this age, you have the benefit of connecting with those younger and older than you.

🌹 LADIES 35+ 🌹 Finally, my radiant, delicate, and seductive Mademoiselles. No other group possesses the power you hold. Class, elegance, and a tantalizing aura.

Disclaimer: Now, I’ve mentioned on my blog before that I don’t speak on topics I don’t have knowledge or experience in. For any ladies reading this part, this will just be based on my observations of older women in my life who entered hypergamous relationships later in adulthood. I am not in this age range, so I cannot speak from my own experience.

Advantages:

🌹 Boundaries & Standards: If you are afraid to establish boundaries with a man, you prize him. If you have no standards, you are low value. Chances are, men will walk all over you and try to get away with as much as possible.

Women 35+ tend to not tolerate nonsense and know exactly what they want because they have lived life. When done correctly, establishing boundaries and setting your standards can drive a man crazy about you. Men love the unattainable.

🌹 Network: Your network is one of your best weapons. Being introduced to the right person (“a friend of a friend”). Being invited to the right place/event. All these can change your life in a moment. Around this age range, you should be established in your career, with your friend group/circle, and your community. This is the time to really connect with your circles because I promise you, there will always be opportunities there.

🌹 Understanding. It has become popular for these male “dating coaches” to attack single motherhood.  Well, guess what? For every single mother, there’s a father. For every divorced woman, there’s a divorced man. This is the truth men try to erase: men have “baggage” and they are still out in the streets pining after women! They act as if these men don’t exist, and all men are virgin saints as if women reproduce on their own🙄 Ridiculous.

There are many affluent men out there who are divorced. Many have children. And they do not mind if you do. Really. They don’t. A quality man realizes that a woman who is 40 years old is most likely not some virgin nun. 

🌹Feminine Beauties. Ok, I’m gonna be straight up: the average 35+ year old woman probably looks more feminine than the average 21 year old woman currently. Don’t come at me, ladies, this is what I have noticed in women older than me.  Just look around (at least in the US). The media is brainwashing young girls and confusing hypersexuality with feminine appearance. Dresses from Fashion Nova do not give the impression of class and elegance. A lot of makeup gurus are teaching makeup looks that do not enhance beauty. 

Women who are 35+ tend to succeed more at an overall “feminine” appearance because they grew up in a different time that emphasized a more “classical” standard of beauty. They also know what suits their bodies well, and usually are more confident overall.

Disadvantages

🌹 Roster Age. You must be more diligent regarding your roster’s age. Try to keep the men on your roster 10+ years older than you (avoid men close in age as you).

Men automatically invest more and step up when presented with challenges. Age is a challenge. Having an older roster will be very beneficial. Do not shy away from men in their 50s or 60s either.

🌹 Mindset The biggest obstacle for this age group may end up being yourself. Just from the messages I have received from you all, I can see some of you truly believe being over the age of 35/having children/being divorced will hinder you on this journey.

This is all FALSE. There are so many women that I have witnessed throughout my life marry hypergamously in their 40s AND 50s. Do you think 51 years old Lauren Sanchez thought for a moment that she wasn’t good enough for Jeff Bezos?  Stop listening to men who tell you men don’t want to be with you. Stop listening to bitter women who tell you you’re too old. Stop listening to your inner thoughts that keep tearing you down. Hypergamy doesn’t stop with your age!

🌹 Comfort Zone.  Humans are creatures of habit, and the older we get the more comfortable we will get with our lives (jobs, home, friends, routine). After all, we want security. We find comfort in what we know is safe.

Avoid this tendency. It can be hard to do, especially if you have children and a demanding job, but still try your best. Escaping this will be advantageous for your journey.

🌹 Family. See above section.

What to Focus On:  🌹 Maintaining your appearance and staying healthy/active. 🌹 Getting out of your bubble. Do not stay in your comfort zone. 🌹 Having an active roster. You can’t marry hypergamously without dating hypergamously!

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Almost all of these tips can be applied at any age. Take what resonates with you, and stay focused on your journey. The biggest takeaway I hope you get from this is that regardless of your age, you can and will succeed.  ❤️

Follow my IG for more: @mademoisellehypergamy

A little tip for makeup

Ok hear me out, YouTube makeup is not for everyday and most of it doesn't look good in real life

As well as the fact that most beauty influencers use too much of the product which will lead you to use a lot as well which will make you buy more products in the long run

In my spare time I love to watch makeup artists doing makeup for runway models, you'll probably notice they never go full on Vincent van Gogh and paint all over the faces of their models.

They use small brushes and cover what's necessary with foundation and concealer. There is use of powders to finish the look and make it look uniform and soft.

My sister and I have a little joke we always say

" Never trust an influencer with a discount code "

Because at times they will use different products or too much of a product and lie to your face as to them they are worrying about how many of you use their code so they earn their keep.

In general, YouTube makeup is a big industry which depends on your desire to consume "the next big thing" and basically to sum up my point, they don't have your best interest in mind.

So now, where do we move on from that.

It's better to save up and buy good quality makeup brushes as those along with a good technique can make a drug store product look amazing on you.

As a person who has been doing art since they were a kid I can definitely say that 'the type of brush you use matters' is a phrase that is not limited to the painting world.

Sit with yourself and look at your face and go from there, find your own blush area, find your own look !

My makeup routine

On a normal day I moisturise my skin and apply a pressed powder. If I want to conceal any spots I use very small amounts of the Juvias Place stick foundation and concealer and go in with a contour stick lightly around my face.

I use a brown lip liner and go with a nude pink lipstick and blend it in on my lips till it looks almost natural.

I use a dip brow pomade to fill in my non existent eyebrows (😔) and I comb them with a clear mascara but remember I don't change my eyebrow shape or go overboard with it because the goal is natural but slightly enhanced.

The only thing unnatural about my makeup is my eyeliner, I have big upturned eyes so I tightline my eyes with a black pencil eyeliner and make a wing with liquid eyeliner and to finish the look I put on some black mascara to my lashes and use a blush stick around my eye-cheek area.

In all these I use small soft brushes I have collected from around the world

When I'm done I almost literally baptise myself in setting spray 😂.

That's it!

Keep in mind my makeup routine is for me, I'm pretty small in frame with a big head and big eyes so I go with the natural doll look, I'll link a video for makeup for the kibbe body types

I'm still figuring out the world of fake lashes but I'm yet to find success with my eye shape 😂

Here are some videos are like

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