Table Etiquette

Table Etiquette

A crash course on fine dining/ being invited to dinner at someone’s place. Even if you don’t fine dine, I’d recommend you start practicing these habits in any establishment so that they come to you naturally.

Remember : A typical four-course meal consists of a soup, an appetizer, an entrée, and dessert.

If you’re standing at some sort of a networking session/ mixer:

Keep at least one hand free. If you are standing, have only a drink or food in one hand, never both.  Hold a drink in your left hand so that you have a clean hand for a handshake. You can eat and drink while sitting, but it is always better to stand and greet.

Sitting/ dining out/ invited to dinner:

1. Wait to be seated by the staff/ host.

2. Napkin on your lap the minute you sit down at the table.

3. if you're looking at the menu, make sure to have the bottom, or at least one part of it, still touching the table, even if your impulse is to bring it closer to your face. Don’t lift the menu off the table to your nose.

4. Once you sip from a glass, you must sip from the exact same place on that glass for the rest of the evening.

5. If there’s a breadbasket and butter on your table - don’t dip the bread in the communal butter plate. Take a piece of the butter with your butter knife, put it on the side plate, then spread that butter on your bread. Don’t double dip! Your bread plate is the one on your left, by the way. And your glass will be on your right.

6. If your table has a lot of silverware - start from the outside and work your way in.

7. Dishes should be passed in a counter-clockwise flow. Don’t reach across the table.

8. Lay you fork and knife diagonally across the plate, side by side, pointing at 10:00 and 4:00 on a clock face. This signifies to the wait staff that you have finished.

9. Keep the rim of your plates as clean as possible, as a sign of respect to the staff.

Cultural differences:

1. Whilst eating Indian food/ in India, always eat with your right hand. The left hand should never touch the food. This is also seen in the Arab world - use only the thumb, index finger and middle finger to pick up food.

2. In Korea, one waits for the senior most person in the room to sit and eat, and is followed suit. Sharing is caring - food is often ordered to share with each other rather than individual plates.

3. Chopsticks etiquette (general): don’t stick and leave your chopsticks in your food perpendicular to the table, it signifies death. Don't set your chopsticks down pointed at another person at the table. Don't point your chopsticks at other people around the table.

4. France: bread on the table is meant to accompany the main dish, not as an appetiser.

What are some table manners that one should keep in mind if they’re eating food/ eating with someone of your culture?

yesterday i went to a party and i kissed this girl and she kept trying to give me her linkedin and i was like ...LINKEDIN? and she said yes linkedin. so i said i dont use linkedin. do you have instagram though. and she was like yes i do have instagram. you should add me on linkedin. and i said i dont use linkedin. and she said i will add you on linkedin. and i said girl give me your instagram you are NOT flirting with me through linkedin. and she was like. ok. fine. here's my instagram then. and gave me her instagram, which she clearly uses a lot, so it wasnt even that she only uses linkedin but rather that she just wanted to talk to me through linkedin specifically. fascinating woman if i wasnt already attracted to her her unwavering loyalty to linkedin wouldve drawn me in for sure

A Really Fucking Vulgar Guide to Not Losing Your Shit in College (Condensed Version)

Bitches love to put things into lists. Moreover, bitches love numbered shit. Here’s some numbered shit in list format to help you not suck in higher education. You’re welcome.

1. Go to class. Like 210% serious. I don’t give a shit if you’re a get by on nothing, A+ slacker. You’re fucking paying for this crap so you might as well get the services owed to you. Take your ass to class even if you zone out 99% of the time. You know 1% more than you did when you walked up in there. Congrats, asshole.

2. All that free time you have during your first week of classes? Make it your bitch. Don’t just print the goddamn syllabus and be like all done. No motherfucker. Take a good fucking look at that assignment list. What’s due next week? Yeah, do that shit now bc I know you don’t have anything else to do. Then when you’re coughing up a lung six weeks into the semester and don’t feel like getting your ass up to do that calculus homework, you’ll remember this week. You’ll remember that you’ve been a week ahead this whole damn semester. Pat yourself on the back, ass wipe.

3. Prepare yo self. No seriously. You got notes to print for class? Sure you could be like all those other bitches and just shove them into your backpack, or you could actually /prepare/ for class. I’m talking looking that shit over, identifying key concepts, getting a decent grasp of the material before your ass is even in class. You a STEM major? Yeah, make this kinda shit your life because now class is like one bomb ass group review session. Again, you’re welcome.

4. Snack like a motherfucker, but save that junk food shit for the weekends. From now on, you are a fucking health guru during the week or if you’re a slacker like me, at least on the days you have class. Fruits? Hell yeah. Pack some of those. Mind wandering in class? Snack on some apple slices. Can’t stay awake? Keep eating some almonds or some shit, but don’t be that bitch with the potato chips. Just don’t.

5. Read. Yeah, you heard me. Read and I’m not just talking assigned reading. I bet my left butt cheek that your campus library has /something/ of interest to you. Commuting and don’t want to drive out there? Library databases bro. We’re in the digital age, motherfucker. I’d bet my other butt cheek that the shit you want is in a nice little PDF somewhere. But na man, you thinking maybe you want to go into computer science? Check out computer science books and eat them up bro. You don’t like reading them? Probably not the field for you. You a biology major in your second year? Yeah dumbass. Time to break out the bio books and not the ones your professor is shoving in your face. Amaze your friends and teachers with your out of class knowledge. Be a fucking star.

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Linsi <3

Auntie bitches, I hope you and your awesome employee had a great summer break!

You know how for resumes as you get older and get big-kid jobs relevant to your field, you remove the old irrelevant jobs from your resume?

Does that apply to LinkedIn, too? I graduated last year, and I'm job hunting... again... but I only have 1 year's worth of a full-time job on there, so I don't know if I should take things off right now.

tldr; At what point, if any, do I take the food service key holder job from 2017 off my LinkedIn profile?

Thanks!

Hey puggle! We did indeed have a great summer break. Ducky got to spend time with her family, and Kitty and I got to do our grandma hobbies--gardening, a little light carpentry, 1000-piece jigsaw puzzles, etc.

This is a great question. I think as soon as it's irrelevant (read: you've moved into a more specialized career and that old experience doesn't really apply anymore) you can take it off LinkedIn.

But the difference between a resume and LinkedIn is that LinkedIn doesn't have any character limits. So technically, it's not that important to cycle stuff off of your LinkedIn. You can keep it up, and it won't hurt anyting.

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