How To Adult - Tumblr Posts
I will need this for sure in the future.
I want to live by myself when I move out of my parent's place but I'm really afraid of money problems? I'm afraid that the only place I can afford will be in the ghetto and it'll all be torn apart and I'll only be allowed to eat one granola bar a week. I'm really stressing out about this. I don't know anything about after school life. I don't know anything about paying bills or how to buy an apartment and it's really scaring me. is there anything you know that can help me?
HI darling,
I’ve actually got a super wonderful masterpost for you to check out:
Home
what the hell is a mortgage?
first apartment essentials checklist
how to care for cacti and succulents
the care and keeping of plants
Getting an apartment
Money
earn rewards by taking polls
how to coupon
what to do when you can’t pay your bills
see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill
how to save money
How to Balance a Check Book
How to do Your Own Taxes
Health
how to take care of yourself when you’re sick
things to bring to a doctor’s appointment
how to get free therapy
what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment
how to make a doctor’s appointment
how to pick a health insurance plan
how to avoid a hangover
a list of stress relievers
how to remove a splinter
Emergency
what to do if you get pulled over by a cop
a list of hotlines in a crisis
things to keep in your car in case of an emergency
how to do the heimlich maneuver
Job
time management
create a resume
find the right career
how to pick a major
how to avoid a hangover
how to interview for a job
how to stop procrastinating
How to write cover letters
Travel
ULTIMATE PACKING LIST
Traveling for Cheap
Travel Accessories
The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase
How To Read A Map
How to Apply For A Passport
How to Make A Travel Budget
Better You
read the news
leave your childhood traumas behind
how to quit smoking
how to knit
how to stop biting your nails
how to stop procrastinating
how to stop skipping breakfast
how to stop micromanaging
how to stop avoiding asking for help
how to stop swearing constantly
how to stop being a pushover
learn another language
how to improve your self-esteem
how to sew
learn how to embroider
how to love yourself
100 tips for life
Apartments/Houses/Moving
Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 1: Are You Sure? (The Responsible One)
Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 2: Finding the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)
Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 3: Questions to Ask about the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)
Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 4: Packing and Moving All of Your Shit (The Responsible One)
How to Protect Your Home Against Break-Ins (The Responsible One)
Education
How to Find a Fucking College (The Sudden Adult)
How to Find Some Fucking Money for College (The Sudden Adult)
What to Do When You Can’t Afford Your #1 Post-Secondary School (The Sudden Adult)
Stop Shitting on Community College Kids (Why Community College is Fucking Awesome) (The Responsible One)
How to Ask for a Recommendation Letter (The Responsible One)
How to Choose a College Major (The Sudden Adult)
Finances
How to Write a Goddamn Check (The Responsible One)
How to Convince Credit Companies You’re Not a Worthless Bag of Shit (The Responsible One)
Debit vs Credit (The Responsible One)
What to Do if Your Wallet is Stolen/Lost (The Sudden Adult)
Budgeting 101 (The Responsible One)
Important Tax Links to Know (The Responsible One)
How to Choose a Bank Without Screwing Yourself (The Responsible One)
Job Hunting
How to Write a Resume Like a Boss (The Responsible One)
How to Write a Cover Letter Someone Will Actually Read (The Responsible One)
How to Handle a Phone Interview without Fucking Up (The Responsible One)
10 Sites to Start Your Job Search (The Responsible One)
Life Skills
Staying in Touch with Friends/Family (The Sudden Adult)
Bar Etiquette (The Sudden Adult)
What to Do After a Car Accident (The Sudden Adult)
Grow Up and Buy Your Own Groceries (The Responsible One)
How to Survive Plane Trips (The Sudden Adult)
How to Make a List of Goals (The Responsible One)
How to Stop Whining and Make a Damn Appointment (The Responsible One)
Miscellaneous
What to Expect from the Hell that is Jury Duty (The Responsible One)
Relationships
Marriage: What the Fuck Does It Mean and How the Hell Do I Know When I’m Ready? (Guest post - The Northwest Adult)
How Fucked Are You for Moving In with Your Significant Other: An Interview with an Actual Real-Life Couple Living Together™ (mintypineapple and catastrofries)
Travel & Vehicles
How to Winterize Your Piece of Shit Vehicle (The Responsible One)
How to Make Public Transportation Your Bitch (The Responsible One)
Other Blog Features
Apps for Asshats
Harsh Truths & Bitter Reminders
Asks I’ll Probably Need to Refer People to Later
Apartments (or Life Skills) - How Not to Live in Filth (The Sudden Adult)
Finances - Tax Basics (The Responsible One)
Important Documents - How to Get a Copy of Your Birth Certificate (The Responsible One)
Important Documents - How to Get a Replacement ID (The Responsible One)
Health - How to Deal with a Chemical Burn (The Responsible One)
Job Hunting - List of Jobs Based on Social Interaction Levels (The Sudden Adult)
Job Hunting - How to Avoid Falling into a Pit of Despair While Job Hunting (The Responsible One)
Job Hunting - Questions to Ask in an Interview (The Responsible One)
Life Skills - First-Time Flying Tips (The Sudden Adult)
Life Skills - How to Ask a Good Question (The Responsible One)
Life Skills - Reasons to Take a Foreign Language (The Responsible One)
Life Skills - Opening a Bar Tab (The Sudden Adult)
Relationships - Long Distance Relationships: How to Stay in Contact (The Responsible One)
Adult Cheat Sheet:
what to do if your pet gets lost
removing stains from your carpet
how to know if you’re eligible for food stamps
throwing a dinner party
i’m pregnant, now what?
first aid tools to keep in your house
how to keep a clean kitchen
learning how to become independent from your parents
job interview tips
opening your first bank account
what to do if you lose your wallet
tips for cheap furniture
easy ways to cut your spending
selecting the right tires for your car
taking out your first loan
picking out the right credit card
how to get out of parking tickets
how to fix a leaky faucet
get all of your news in one place
getting rid of mice & rats in your house
when to go to the e.r.
buying your first home
how to buy your first stocks
guide to brewing coffee
first apartment essentials checklist
coping with a job you hate
30 books to read before you’re 30
what’s the deal with retirement?
difference between insurances
Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:
Reasons to move out of home
You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:
wishing to live independently
location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university
conflict with your parents
being asked to leave by your parents.
Issues to consider when moving out of home
It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t anticipate, such as:
Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.
Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise, especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything. Debt may become an issue.
Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time, sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.
Your parents may be worried
Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different things. For example:
They may worry that you are not ready.
They may be sad because they will miss you.
They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.
They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.
Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly. Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your plans and support your decision.
Tips for a successful move
Tips include:
Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?
Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include ‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond (usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.
Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too – getting along is a two-way street.
Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.
Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking). Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.
Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.
If your family home does not provide support
Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to cope.
If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden transition to independence.
If you need support, help is available from a range of community and government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents, call one of the associations below for information, advice and assistance.
Where to get help
Your doctor
Kids Helpline Tel. 1800 55 1800
Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44
Home Ground Services Tel. 1800 048 325
Relationships Australia Tel. 1300 364 277
Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50
Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. (03) 9416 2577
Things to remember
Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.
Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses, such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.
Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations.
(source)
Keep me updated? xx
Is there some kind of “How to be an Adult” school I missed out on? Cause university sure as hell did not prepare me for the real world
Local house witch telling you to please learn basic housekeeping skills.
It’s not your fault if no one ever taught you but YouTube is a magical place and can teach you at your own pace.
Adulthood doesn’t mean you stop drinking juice pouches and eating fruit snacks. It means buying your own.
for the past few years i’ve had a personal rule that i do not sign anything i haven’t read - mostly because i genuinely think it’s a good idea, but also as a kind of social experiment - and i wanna share some observations
when i worked at an amusement park, i was one of like two or three people in a group of around twenty young adults who read the employment contract
i gave up on reading every TOS and privacy policy early on - now i only read them if it’s a website or company i’ll be giving personal information to (and even then i only skim them) - but i’ve never found anything super suspect in one
i also have an exception for when i’m made to feel like i’d be an asshole for stopping to read something. notable examples of this going into effect include the patient-intake paperwork at the ER when i went in a few months ago. (i really wish i’d just gone ahead and been the asshole in that situation, even though i have no reason to think there was anything bad in it)
i think the only time i was the only one to read something that the people who gave it to us actually wanted us to read was the waiver at a cat café, which included a lot of safety information about how to interact with the cats
one time i was approached by a guy with a petition who told me it was an anti-fracking petition (which was a real petition that was going around at the time), but the paper he handed me was a petition to instate a “citizenship requirement” for voting. i pointed this out to him and he tried to convince me that even though that’s what it said, it’s not really what my signature meant, and then named the university he graduated from as though it gave him some level of extra credibility??
i have more than once been given a HIPPA form at a doctor’s office where my signature certifies that i’ve been offered a copy of their privacy practices, when i had not, in fact, been offered a copy of their privacy practices. the last time this happened, the receptionist didn’t actually have a copy of their privacy practices, and had to get me to me sign it several days later once she got a copy from her manager
99% of people are very accommodating when you tell them “i want to read this before i sign it,” but it’s never what they’re expecting
on a related note, if someone thinks it’s important that you know what’s in something they’re giving you to sign, they won’t wait for you to read it - they’ll go through, point to each section, and tell you what it says. this is what happened when i signed my lease, and it’s actually a pretty common instance of using my asshole exception, because then i feel like i’m calling the person a liar if i stop to read it myself
the moral of the story is… like… we treat a signature like it’s the absolute most surefire way of saying “yes i understand this and agree to it,” but in practice there’s not even a pretense that a signature means you’ve READ whatever you’re signing. in fact, handing someone a piece of paper and saying “sign here” is one of the LEAST effective ways to make sure they understand and agree to something, and PEOPLE KNOW THIS, and we do it ANYWAY because what else are we gonna do? notarize it??
i don’t have a solution but like. that’s kinda fucked up, you know?
Getting a job:
Ask the Bitches: What the Hell Else Can I Do to Get a Job?
How to Write a Resume so You Actually Have a Prayer of Getting Hired
How to Write a Cover Letter like You Actually Want the Job
How to Frame Volunteering on Your Resume When You’ve Never Had a Job
Prep Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself: Getting Ready for a Job Interview
Common Job Interview Questions and How to Answer Them with the Confidence of a Mediocre White Dude
10 Questions You Should Never Be Asked in a Job Interview
What to Wear (and What Not to Wear) to a Job Interview
What to Do When You’re Asked About Your Salary in a Job Interview
How NOT to Determine Your Salary
How to Find Remote Work: On Getting the Elusive Work-From-Home Job
High School Students Have No Way of Knowing What Career to Choose. Why Do We Make Them Do It Anyway?
The Actually Helpful, Nuanced, Non-Bullshit Way to Choose a Future Career
Myers-Briggs Personalities and Income
I Just Applied for a Job. How (And When) Should I Follow Up?
Freelancing and side jobs:
Should Artists Ever Work for Free?
Stop Undervaluing Your Own Work, You Darling Fool
Romanticizing the Side Hustle
The Ugly Truth About Unpaid Internships
Freelancer, Protect Thyself: The Importance of a Fair Contract
Ask the Bitches: My Boss Won’t Give Me a Contract and I’m Freaking Out
Workplace benefits:
Workplace Benefits and Other Cool Side Effects of Employment
Your School or Workplace Benefits Might Include Cool Free Stuff
Take Advantage of No-Copay Medical Care
Dafuq Is a Retirement Plan and Why Do You Need One?
How to Save for Retirement When You Make Less Than $30,000 a Year
Navigating the workplace:
My Secret Weapon for Preparing for Awkward Boss Confrontations
Are You Working on the Next Fyre Festival?: Identifying a Toxic Workplace
Woke at Work: How to Inject Your Values into Your Boring, Lame-Ass Job
Looking Weird at Work
Short Hair DO Care: Why Is Short Hair Still Controversial?
How to Successfully Work from Home Without Losing Your Goddamn Mind (Or Your Job)
Episode 001: “Should I Tell My Boss I’m Looking for Another Job?”
Accepted a Coworker’s Social Media Friend Request? Yeah, You’re Gonna Regret That.
Getting a raise:
Salary Range: Are You Asking for Enough?
A Millennial’s Guide to Growing Your Salary
The First Time I Asked for a Raise
You Need to Ask for a Fucking Raise
Should You Increase Your Salary or Decrease Your Spending?
Getting a promotion:
Santa Isn’t Coming and Neither Is Your Promotion
How I Chessmastered Myself into a Promotion
Job Hoppers vs. Career Loyalists: I Want to See Numbers!
The Fascinating Results of Our Job Hopping vs. Career Loyalty Poll
Confession: I Hate My Job and I Don’t Know How to Leave It
A New Job, a New Day, a New Life, and I’m Feeling Good
Episode 009: “I’ve Given up on My Dream Career. Where Do I Go From Here?”
Getting a job:
Ask the Bitches: What the Hell Else Can I Do to Get a Job?
How to Write a Resume so You Actually Have a Prayer of Getting Hired
How to Write a Cover Letter like You Actually Want the Job
How to Frame Volunteering on Your Resume When You’ve Never Had a Job
Prep Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself: Getting Ready for a Job Interview
Common Job Interview Questions and How to Answer Them with the Confidence of a Mediocre White Dude
10 Questions You Should Never Be Asked in a Job Interview
What to Wear (and What Not to Wear) to a Job Interview
What to Do When You’re Asked About Your Salary in a Job Interview
How NOT to Determine Your Salary
How to Find Remote Work: On Getting the Elusive Work-From-Home Job
High School Students Have No Way of Knowing What Career to Choose. Why Do We Make Them Do It Anyway?
The Actually Helpful, Nuanced, Non-Bullshit Way to Choose a Future Career
Myers-Briggs Personalities and Income
I Just Applied for a Job. How (And When) Should I Follow Up?
Freelancing and side jobs:
Should Artists Ever Work for Free?
Stop Undervaluing Your Own Work, You Darling Fool
Romanticizing the Side Hustle
The Ugly Truth About Unpaid Internships
Freelancer, Protect Thyself: The Importance of a Fair Contract
Ask the Bitches: My Boss Won’t Give Me a Contract and I’m Freaking Out
Workplace benefits:
Workplace Benefits and Other Cool Side Effects of Employment
Your School or Workplace Benefits Might Include Cool Free Stuff
Take Advantage of No-Copay Medical Care
Dafuq Is a Retirement Plan and Why Do You Need One?
How to Save for Retirement When You Make Less Than $30,000 a Year
Navigating the workplace:
My Secret Weapon for Preparing for Awkward Boss Confrontations
Are You Working on the Next Fyre Festival?: Identifying a Toxic Workplace
Woke at Work: How to Inject Your Values into Your Boring, Lame-Ass Job
Looking Weird at Work
Short Hair DO Care: Why Is Short Hair Still Controversial?
How to Successfully Work from Home Without Losing Your Goddamn Mind (Or Your Job)
Episode 001: “Should I Tell My Boss I’m Looking for Another Job?”
Accepted a Coworker’s Social Media Friend Request? Yeah, You’re Gonna Regret That.
Getting a raise:
Salary Range: Are You Asking for Enough?
A Millennial’s Guide to Growing Your Salary
The First Time I Asked for a Raise
You Need to Ask for a Fucking Raise
Should You Increase Your Salary or Decrease Your Spending?
Getting a promotion:
Santa Isn’t Coming and Neither Is Your Promotion
How I Chessmastered Myself into a Promotion
Job Hoppers vs. Career Loyalists: I Want to See Numbers!
The Fascinating Results of Our Job Hopping vs. Career Loyalty Poll
Confession: I Hate My Job and I Don’t Know How to Leave It
A New Job, a New Day, a New Life, and I’m Feeling Good
Episode 009: “I’ve Given up on My Dream Career. Where Do I Go From Here?”
Dear people living on your own for the first time:
Here’s some advice I wasn’t told from the myriad of posts before that I wish I’d been given before
Wash the OUTSIDE of your pots and pans as well as the cooking surface. I’ve had a few roommates now who have only cleaned the inside and I’ve had to replace a $150 set of cookware twice.
“its only one time, how bad could using metal on nonstick cookware really be?” very bad. don’t do this.
Buy a rice cooker. Buy the middle tier rice cooker. Cheap ones will burn your rice, high tier ones are too expensive. Rice is good and cheap and, really, you don’t actually have to wash it if you don’t care about making gourmet food.
Buy band-aids. You don’t think you need band-ads until you need a band-aid, and by then it’s too late. (if you don’t follow this advice, a paper towel and some tape is an acceptable solution while you go get real bandages and neosporin)
You are on tumblr, which means you probably spend most of your time in one spot on a computer or phone. if this spot doesn’t have a trash can in arm’s reach, put one there.
I spent 4 years piling trash on my desk in increasingly precarious ways until I had a designated area to put it. Trash cans can and should go anywhere there is a frequent generation of trash, typical locations be damned.
If you live with one or two roommates, discuss placing empty boxes in the back of your fridge and freezer. You probably don’t need all the space that the standard 5-person-family fridge provides, and tupperware will be shoved back there and left to stink up the entire appliance.
Get a wall calendar, put it somewhere communal, and have everyone put their household-relevant schedules on it. Communication is by far the weakest link with roommates (even good ones!) and having something to reference for appointments is always good
Dear people living on your own for the first time:
Here’s some advice I wasn’t told from the myriad of posts before that I wish I’d been given before
Wash the OUTSIDE of your pots and pans as well as the cooking surface. I’ve had a few roommates now who have only cleaned the inside and I’ve had to replace a $150 set of cookware twice.
“its only one time, how bad could using metal on nonstick cookware really be?” very bad. don’t do this.
Buy a rice cooker. Buy the middle tier rice cooker. Cheap ones will burn your rice, high tier ones are too expensive. Rice is good and cheap and, really, you don’t actually have to wash it if you don’t care about making gourmet food.
Buy band-aids. You don’t think you need band-ads until you need a band-aid, and by then it’s too late. (if you don’t follow this advice, a paper towel and some tape is an acceptable solution while you go get real bandages and neosporin)
You are on tumblr, which means you probably spend most of your time in one spot on a computer or phone. if this spot doesn’t have a trash can in arm’s reach, put one there.
I spent 4 years piling trash on my desk in increasingly precarious ways until I had a designated area to put it. Trash cans can and should go anywhere there is a frequent generation of trash, typical locations be damned.
If you live with one or two roommates, discuss placing empty boxes in the back of your fridge and freezer. You probably don’t need all the space that the standard 5-person-family fridge provides, and tupperware will be shoved back there and left to stink up the entire appliance.
Get a wall calendar, put it somewhere communal, and have everyone put their household-relevant schedules on it. Communication is by far the weakest link with roommates (even good ones!) and having something to reference for appointments is always good
nobody warns you this but addiction happens without you noticing and one of the first things that it attacks is your ability to care. if you find yourself using recreational drugs every day, stop and take one day a week sober. if you struggle with this or if you don't see the point of the exercise, you are likely already addicted and you need help.
If you don't mind me asking, what ARE the right codewords to use on doctors and such?
I’ve thought, many times, about writing a book or something that was basically How To Negotiate Your Disability Without Curling Into A Ball And Weeping More Than Once Or Twice A Week *Or* Murdering The Entire Universe (More Than Once Or Twice A Week).
Here are some highlights:
1) On acquiring adequate pain medication.
Never actually say “I really need strong drugs here doctor, because the drugs you and every other doctor gave me for this injury/illness didn’t work, and also I’ve been in pain for years and I’d like that to stop.”
While there are some doctors who speak human languages and will understand what you’re saying, most, when you say that, will hear:
“I am a ravening junkie werekaiju, and I will come to your house and EAT YOUR BABIES IF YOU DON’T GIVE ME HEROIN.”
You think I’m kidding? Watch a healthcare professional’s eyes when someone else says something like the following. Watch them shut down and back away and tighten up and generally stop treating the person like a human. So what do you say?
Try this:
“Well, I hate these drugs that make me *stupid*, you know? One of these so-called doctors — they gave me some pill that made me feel like I was on a whole separate planet for *years*, but I was still in pain! I have things to *do*, doctor. I have a job/family/projects. I wouldn’t be here if I could get my work done the way I am now, but if I can’t do them with the drugs you give me, then what’s the point?”
Make sure to translate this into the appropriate dialect for your area, but note the important points:
a) Reassures the doctor that you’re not one of those ~*eeevil*~ junkies.b) Reassures the doctor that you’re not one of those ~*eeevil*~ non-productive members of society.
c) Reassures the doctor that you’re not one of those ~*eeevil*~ weak-willed disabled people.
Remember not to use too *much* *correct* medical jargon — they get suspicious about that.
Yes, all of this is necessary a *lot* of the time.
With the above code, 95% of the time the doctors begin *cooing* at me and treating me like *royalty* — and *100%* of the time I have gotten the effective medication.
Pro-tip: If you can add a true (or true-sounding) story about how much you *hate* one *particular* opiate (“Percocet is useless! All it does is make me stupid!”), then you’re probably in the bag.
2) Acquiring mobility devices.
Never actually say “I need a walker/wheelchair/scooter, because I have trouble getting around, and also I have a great deal of fatigue and pain when I try to do so.”
While some healthcare professionals speak human languages and have souls… well. A lot of them? Will hear this:
“I am a fat, lazy, Fatty McFatFat, and I will continue to expand, much like the universe, until I am a drain on the resources of this great nation and a proof that you, doctor, are a failure. I will never use the mobility devices, ever, and they will gather dust in my home — a mockery of everything you, Morally Healthy Person, holds dear.”
Yes, I know this makes even less sense than the former, but I’ve interrogated these people — the ones who have still have partially-functional souls and minds — and this really is how it works in their adorable little pinheads.
They really do think we’re asking for these devices for… no reason at all.
Or, as my otherwise sane GP put it, she has an honest fear that people like us will take one look at our new mobility devices and throw all caution — and sense — to the winds. That we’ll stop stretching and exercising. That those of us who *can* walk for short distances will — somehow! — decide to *never walk again*. That we’ll decide to — gleefully! cheerfully! blithely! — let every last one of the muscles we’ve been clinging to with our *fingernails* *atrophy* to *nothing*, because…
Because they think we’re idiots, that’s why. So, try this instead:
“I have a lot of pain and fatigue when I try to walk for any kind of distance, at all, and that’s getting in the way of my ability to have anything resembling an active life. It’s even hard to get to my doctor’s appointments sometimes! I want to do at least some of my own shopping and other errands, and go out with my friends, and at least try to hold down a job, but unless the weather is really good and I’m having a good day in other ways, it’s just not going to happen. I don’t want to stop using my cane/walker/whatever completely — and I *won’t* unless I *have* to, just like I won’t stop doing my PT and OT exercises — but I need something that will let me actually have a life.” Note the similarities to the pain management code — and yes, do make sure you put this in your own words.
But also make sure you keep everything that makes you sound like the Virtuous Handicapable Person you totally are.
Because that’s necessary.Yes, it is.Yes. It. Is. Just as it will be necessary, in many states — make sure you check — to add in this little number:
“It’s just… well, you know that I don’t really have any bladder or GI issues, doctor, but I still… sometimes… on bad mobility days… you know.”
Here’s where you look down.
“Sometimes I don’t make it… you know. In time.”
Understand that you’ll have to repeat this to, like, four different people. At least.Understand that some of them will make you get specific.
If it helps, pretend you’re Steph Brown, doing her level best to gross the everloving bejeezus out of her P.E. teacher with graphic stories about her period so she can get out of class and fight crime.
*I* certainly found that helpful.
Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS.
Featuring Helpful Sections such as:
Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and how to get them
Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone
What the Everloving Fuck is Probate
Some Simple Dos and Don’ts
Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and Memorials
How to plan a non-religious death party
So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some shit
This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures.
It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death.
I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together.
Good luck!
(in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit)
When a job interviewer asks if you have any questions for them at the end, maybe don’t just make stuff up to impress them. (I saw this advice going around recently. I honestly don’t know why you would do that. Kudos to the person giving the advice though if it’s worked for them.) In a job interview, you are also vetting a company to see if they’re the right fit for you. Ask them relevant questions that you want to know the answer to! Don’t miss out on that opportunity to learn about red or green flags that will help you decide. (And obviously if you’re dead set on the job regardless of any red flags, this will help you anticipate what sort of job this will be.) You might want to ask things like… - Do you do annual performance reviews? - When dealing with a challenging project/customer/client, what support does someone working here have access to? - What’s your favorite benefit or perk that comes from working here? - How would you describe the company culture? - How would you say the attitude surrounding work-life balance is here? - What’s your favorite project you’ve worked on/thing you’ve done here? - What’s the hardest challenge you’ve had to solve working here? Questions like these will give you a better insight into the day to day of what working at a specific place might be like! (Not all of these apply to every type of job, so YMMV. Make up your own questions.) Some companies won’t be forthcoming about certain questions for obvious reasons (particularly ones about work-life balance), but you still might be able to catch the difference between a confident answer and a bullshit one.
Tip Sheet: Business and Dining Etiquette
This post and any other later posts labeled as tips sheet come from a college website I found while searching around about jobs. I’m bringing it to you all to save you the hassle. Enjoy!
How you conduct yourself and treat others in a business or dining setting speaks strongly of who you are as a professional. Research worldwide tips and strategies before traveling as different cultures have different protocols.
General Tips
Use titles (Mr. Ms. Dr.), not first names until instructed to do so.
Be on time or 5-15 minutes early. Earlier than that can be awkward and invasive.
Prepare for meeting, developing an agenda if you are leading.
Do not interrupt meeting agendas, but in a timely manner, be confident in concisely sharing on-topic ideas/opinions.
Do not get intoxicated at work functions.
Do not use profanity or tell off-colored jokes.
Do not engage in office gossip.
Bring a positive attitude and leave personal drama at home.
Do not air work-related frustrations via social media (e.g. These people make me sick. #ISITFRIDAYYET)
How to Approach a Group
Present yourself with confidence.
Smile and extend dominant hand.
State your name (and company).
Know how to introduce yourself (and company) in 15 to 30 seconds.
Avoid “closed” triads: two people facing shoulder to shoulder are likely having a private conversation.
Do not fold your arms or put them in your pockets.
Greetings
Hi, Hey, Yo, What’s up?, What’s going on? are not appropriate.
Hello is appropriate.
Introducing Yourself
It is your duty to introduce yourself.
Look people in the eyes and smile in order to seem confident and approachable.
Name tags should be placed high on right shoulder.
When should you introduce yourself?
When you realize someone does not recognize you.
When attending a business or social gathering.
When seated next to someone.
When person introducing you forgets your name.
When it is a friend of a friend whom you are talking to.
Introducing Others
Use proper titles when introducing others.
Omit titles when introducing people of same rank and position.
Never introduce a co-worker/superior by first name.
Introduce person lowest on the totem pole to the one highest.
The name of the person of greater authority is spoken first.
This means you look at the most “important person” and say, “Ms. Important, I would like to introduce you to Mr. Student, an intern in our IT department. Mr. Student, this is Mr. Important, the director of technical marketing.”
When dealing with people outside the company, clients are more important than company employees, and hiring managers are more important than job seekers.
If you are seated while being introduced, stand to shake hands.
Have a firm handshake, but avoid death grips.
Tell something about the person whom you introduce.
During the Conservation
Learn how to make small talk.
Be current on domestic and international events. If you’re not and the topic is brought up, say something along the lines of “I’m not familiar with the topic but I would enjoy learning more about it.”
Know what events impact your company or client’s.
Ask questions that focus on other person, not you.
Do not interrupt and/or finish people’s sentences.
Avoid conversations about health or diet habits, cost of things, personal life, gossip, off-color jokes and controversial issues.
Don’t gaze around room in a conversation—it’s rude and makes other person feel insignificant.
Do not touch others unless you know them well.
Ending a Conversation
Do not just walk away if you see someone more interesting— ALWAYS make a closing statement before moving on:
“Please excuse me. It was nice talking with you.”
“It was really a pleasure to meet you. I look forward to seeing you again soon.”
“I enjoyed talking with you. I hope to see you soon.”
Summarize, “Oh, it looks like you have a fascinating job and I wish you good luck on your project.”
If graceful disengagement doesn’t work, be more direct: "I see it is really getting late and I really must go,” then back up physically. As a last result, say a parting statement while you are shaking hands and saying good-bye.
Business Cards
Always have enough and carry in a case.
Should not be wrinkled, written on, outdated or dirty.
Present the card with the print facing the recipient.
Your name should be the largest print on the card.
Don’t write on business cards in front of others.
Don’t exchange business cards while dining.
Never pass them out like you are dealing cards.
It is polite to comment on card before putting it away rather than immediately stashing it in a pocket without looking at it
If someone offers you their business card, offer yours in return
Before offering your business card, first say, “May I give you my card?”
Do not force your card on anyone or offer it too early in a conversation
Let senior executives ask for your card. Do not offer it to them.
Meetings/Networking Events
It is polite to offer to pay if asked to a lunch/dinner meeting. However, whoever extends the invitation typically pays.
Know why you are attending and who you want to meet.
Bring business cards; Remember you represent your company.
Do not carry a bag or notebook that fills your hands.
Step to the right when you enter room, pausing to first observe.
Greet hosts first, if possible but do not monopolize their time.
Introduce yourself to others, not just talking to people you know.
Do not immediately head for the bar or food; don’t go hungry.
Avoid foods that are messy or can’t be eaten in one bite.
Hold food or drink in left hand to leave right hand open.
Write a thank-you note within 24 hours.
Work Relationships:
Co-workers
Cooperate and develop a relationship of mutual support.
Focus on positive qualities and potential of co-workers (strengths, not weaknesses).
Be friendly, but do not join a clique.
Spend time observing how people act, who performs well and who takes a positive view toward the job and organization.
Beware of the gripers and avoid office gossip.
Do not talk about co-workers behind their backs.
Voice concerns, challenges and accomplishments.
Remember that a peer may someday be your boss or you his.
Be nice, polite and friendly to everyone, including individuals who work outside of your department.
Observe organization’s gift giving policy and be discreet when exchanging gifts if only exchanging with a few coworkers. Work Relationships:
Supervisors
Approach tasks with a willing attitude.
Enthusiastically complete “grunt” assignments.
Demonstrate poise and maturity in everything you do.
Ensure quality work is completed on-time.
Supervisors are your ally, not your enemy.
Supervisors train and develop; they aren’t best friends.
Do not ask supervisor for personal and financial advice.
Cell Phones
Turn your phone off during meetings.
Invest in a watch so you don’t check phone for time.
Avoid answering in restaurants. If expecting important call, let those you are dining with know, and leave table to answer.
In public, be aware of voice volume and move at least two arm lengths away from those around you (or out of the room).
The people you are with should take precedence over calls.
If you expect a call that can’t be postponed, alert your companions ahead of time.
Public phone conversations are not private.
Email Etiquette
Craft a compelling subject line.
Treat email like a business letter; always be professional.
Keep it short and simple.
Use proper spelling, grammar and punctuation.
Never send an email when you’re angry.
Email is NOT confidential and can be forwarded.
Read it and check your spelling before sending it.
Confirm attachment you intended to attach is attached.
Answer an email within 24 hours.
General Dining Etiquette
Do not order foods that are eaten with your hands.
Pass food from left to right (counterclockwise).
If asked for the salt or pepper, pass both.
Never season food before tasting it.
Food is served from the left, dishes removed from the right.
Butters, spreads or dips should be transferred to your serving dish before spreading or eating.
Do not ask for a “to-go box” unless it is an informal situation.
For hard to scoop items, use bread, not your finger, to push items onto fork.
If hot food is burning mouth, discretely drink something cool.
Napkins belong in your lap.
If you leave table, loosely fold your napkin (do NOT refold your napkin or wad it up) and place it beside your dinner plate.
Meeting materials or briefcases should be left under your chair until it is time to discuss business.
Do not ask to taste or offer to let others taste your food.
Do not blow nose at the table. Politely excuse yourself.
Casual Dining Exceptions
You may order foods that are eaten with your hands.
When sharing chips and salsa, you don’t have to transfer salsa to your plate, but do not double dip.
Leaving a Tip
Fifteen to 20 percent of the bill total is customary, but for exemplary service, a greater percentage is accepted.
For poor service, ask to speak to the manager; still tip.
Place Setting Tips
General rule: use silverware from outside in as meal progresses.
When finished, do not push plate away. Instead place fork and knife across the center of the plate, handles to the right.
Between bites, your fork and knife are placed on the plate, handles to the right, not touching the table.
1. Napkin
2. Salad Fork
3. Dinner fork
4. Dessert Utensil
5. Dinner Plate
6. Dinner Knife
7. Teaspoon
8. Bread Plate
9. Bitter Knife
10. Water glass
11. Wine Glass
First Aid Basics
I just got certified in CPR and First Aid last month with the American Heart Association. I wanted to share this information with you, because a lot of what we see on TV is not at all accurate as to what you’re supposed to do to actually help someone. Here are some of the topics that were covered:
First Aid Basics
Here are the steps you should follow when addressing a situation where a person may be injured/unconscious:
Check to make sure the scene is safe- you are no help to anybody if you also get hurt
If the person is responsive: “Are you okay?”
If they are unresponsive, hit their shoulders hard and yell: “Are you okay?” to see if you can rouse them
Phone 911 and put the phone on speaker (you can delegate this task to somebody else if you’re not alone)
Have somebody get a First Aid kit (don’t leave the person if you’re by yourself unless the 911 operator tells you to)
Is the person conscious? Unconscious?
Check them for any obvious signs of injury
Check them for medical jewelry
Remember
Time is of the essence! Be decisive and confident.
Don’t be afraid to call for help and assign people tasks
You can only perform CPR on a flat service. If a person needs CPR and is on a bed or in a chair, move them to the floor immediately. Don’t worry about hurting their head or anything, if they don’t get CPR immediately, their life expectancy is significantly less. (See my CPR post for full details)
Do not move the person unless the area they’re in is unsafe. If you have to move the person, drag them by their clothes and pull them to safety.
Adult Choking
There are both mild and severe cases of adult choking. In a mild case, the person choking will be able to make a sound or cough loudly. Typically these cases resolve themselves.
Ask: “Are you choking? Can I help you?”
If the person cannot make a sound or cough in response, they are suffering from severe choking.
Walk around back of the person and put your arms around them
Make a fist with your dominant hand
Place your fist slightly above the belly button and below the chest bone.
Grasp the fist with your other hand
Give quick upward thrusts
If the person is overweight or pregnant, put your arms around the person’s armpits.
If you are unsuccessful in removing the blockage, the person will quickly become unresponsive. You will need to perform adult CPR and call 911.
After chest compressions (see above link) check person’s mouth to see if the thing they choked on is visible. If it is visible, remove it. Never going digging around in someone’s mouth.
Amputation
Call 911 and put the phone on speaker
Get a First Aid kit
Both these steps can be delegated to someone else if they’re around
Put gauze on the wound and apply pressure until the bleeding stops
Do not remove the gauze if it’s bled through- this will remove any blood clots that have formed.
If the gauze is bled through, add more gauze on top and keep applying pressure until the bleeding stops
Clean the amputated part with water
Warp the amputated part with dressing
Put the amputated part in a small plastic bag
Get a larger plastic bag and fill it with equal parts ice and water
Put the small plastic bag inside the large plastic bag
Label the bag with person’s name and time of the injury
Asthma (How to Operate an Inhaler)
People diagnosed with asthma will typically be aware of it and may have an inhaler on them. If someone has an asthma attack:
Ask them: “Are you okay? Do you need your inhaler?”
The person will probably be able to give some sort of indication in response
If they need their inhaler:
Locate the inhaler
Put the medicine (metallic capsule pictured below) in the inhaler if it is not already in there, it will click into place
Shake the inhaler to activate the medicine
Attach the mouth piece if it’s unattached (not all inhalers have one, it is not pictured below)
Remove the cap (cap is darker blue piece pictured below)
Have the person put their head back
Put the inhaler in the person’s mouth
Push down on the canister and have them breathe out slowly
They should begin to feel relief immediately, but you should still have them sit down and take it easy for a while
Call 911 if they are still having difficulty breathing after the inhaler has been administered
Bee Sting
Usually bee stings present only mild irritation and pain. If the person stung has a severe allergic reaction, you will need to call 911.
Get a first aid kit
Scrape away the bee stinger and venom sack using a credit card or something similar in nature
Wash the affected area with lots of soap and running water
Wrap a bag of ice in a towel and place it over the affected area for 20 minutes or until the pain is gone
Watch the person for up to 30 minutes for signs of an allergic reaction
Call 911 if they present any classic allergy symptoms
Bleeding from Nose
Have the person lean their head forward
Get a First Aid kit
Or have someone else get one
Have the bleeding person apply pressure to the bridge of their nose using gauze from the First Aid kit
Do not remove the gauze if it’s bled through- this will remove any blood clots that have formed.
If the gauze is bled through, add more gauze on top until the bleeding stops
Call 911 if the bleeding lasts longer than 15 minutes
Heat Cramps/Dehydration
Can lead to heat exhaustion! These typically happen when someone is dehydrated and tries to do lots of physical activity.
Have the person sit down and cool off
Have them drink something with sugar and electrolytes
Water will work in a pinch but sugary drinks and gatorade are preferred
Heat Exhaustion
Call 911 and put the phone on speaker
Have the person lie down
Cool the person by pouring water on them or wetting them with wet cloths until they begin to act normally
Have them drink something with sugar and electrolytes
Water will work in a pinch but sugary drinks and gatorade are preferred
Wait with them until help arrives
Opioid Overdose
My instructor said that these will often happen in an unsafe or an isolated environment. Always check to make sure that the scene is safe- look out for needles.
Naloxone is used to revive people who have overdosed on opioids. If you find someone who has overdosed on opioids you happen to have naloxone on you and know how to administer it, the American Heart Association recommends that you use it instead of waiting for help to arrive.
Responsive:
Yell for help
Call 911 and put the phone on speaker
Wait with the person until help arrives
Unresponsive
Yell for help
Call 911 and put the phone on speaker
Perform five cycles of adult CPR
Wait for help
Seizure
Seizures are abnormal electrical activity in the brain. Typical seizure symptoms: spasms, muscle rigidity, and unconsciousness. Seizures typically last between 60-90 seconds before the person gains consciousness.
Do NOT touch the person who is having a seizure
Do NOT put anything in their mouth
Call 911 and put the phone on speaker
If there are people around, ask them to get a First Aid kit while you wait with the person having the seizure
Don’t leave the person having a seizure if you are alone
Move objects away from the person having the seizure so that they don’t knock into them
If possible, place a small towel/pad underneath the person’s head
If the person starts vomiting, turn them over on their side so that they don’t choke
If possible use gloves and an eye mask from a First Aid kit to avoid exposure to bodily fluids
After they come to, they may be bleeding from the mouth.
Use gauze from a First Aid kit to stop the bleeding
Have them apply pressure with the gauze until the bleeding stops
Stay with the person until help arrives
Splints
Splints should be significantly longer than the injured area. They’re used to constrict movement, so the person is injured should not be able to move freely once the splint is applied. Splints are use to treat broken/dislocated bones. It’s very difficult to tell if a bone is actually broken or just dislocated, so don’t worry about it and just splint the thing.
Call 911 and put the phone on speaker
Get a First Aid kit
Both these steps can be delegated to someone else if they’re around
Put on gloves/eye glasses from the First Aid kit to avoid contamination from bodily fluids
Cover exposed wound area with gauze
Do not remove the gauze if it’s bled through- this will remove any blood clots that have formed.
If the gauze is bled through, add more gauze on top until the bleeding stops.
Place a strip of rigid material underneath the injured area
Use gauze/dressing from the First Aid kit to secure the splint by wrapping material above and below the injured area
Never tie material directly over the injury
Have the person stay as still as possible until help arrives
Stroke
Strokes are caused from blockage/bleeding from things like blood clots. Typical signs of a stroke: face drooping (or numbness), arm weakness (or numbness), and speech difficulty. There is nothing much you can do except wait with the person and try to make them comfortable until help arrives.
Call 911 and put the phone on speaker
Note the time that the stroke symptoms began (this will help hospital technicians)
Stay with the person until help arrives
Tourniquets
Some First Aid kits will come with a pre-made tourniquet. If your kit does not have a tourniquet you can make one fairly easily. Tourniquets should only be used for injuries where the person is squirting blood. No squirting blood? Use a splint.
Call 911 and put the phone on speaker
Get a First Aid kit
Both these steps can be delegated to someone else if they’re around
Put on gloves/eye glasses from the First Aid kit to avoid contamination from bodily fluids
Fold cloth or a bandage so that it’s long and an inch wide
Wrap the the bandage/cloth two inches above the wound
Never apply a tourniquet bandage/cloth on a joint (like elbows or knees).
Find a small stick
Place the small stick atop the cloth/bandage and tie it there
You can now turn the small stick to tighten the cloth/bandage
Have the injured person lay down and try to move as little as possible
Do not remove the tourniquet- even if the bleeding stops.
Wait until help arrives.
This felt very appropriate to share to main.
As a man with social anxiety, I like to know how to do things, what to say, and questions I need to ask before I do or say ANYTHING, EVER. I NEED to know the proper process for things, or else I flounder and have a Very Bad Time(TM)
i just spent 20 minutes in the shower sobbing bc i’m scared of growing up and having to do things on my own i hate myself wtf i’m such a BABY