You're Afraid To Tell People How You Feel Because It Will Destroy Them, So You Keep It All Inside Where
You're afraid to tell people how you feel because it will destroy them, so you keep it all inside where it destroys you.
-
brian-bryson liked this · 6 years ago
More Posts from Belief-is-for-the-weak
Welcome
Welcome to society, we hope you enjoy your stay, and please feel free to be yourself, as long as it's in the right way. Make sure to love your body, but not too much or we'll have to tear you down. We'll bully you for smiling, then wonder why you frown. We'll tell you that you're worthless, that you shouldn't make a sound, and then cry with all the others while you're buried in the ground. You can fall in love with anyone, as long as it's who we choose, and we'll let you have your opinions, but please shape them to our views. Welcome to society, we promise that we won't deceive, and one more rule now that you're here, there's no way you can leave. ~e.h.
It's so strange that Autumn is so beautiful yet everything is dying.
Monochromatic Reality
I take the anti depressants to make the people who want me to get 'better' think I'm happy. Even though all the pills really do is make me feel numb. At least before I felt depression, it was something. So now I take huge risks, do dangerous things, and hurt myself in anyway possible because any feeling of fear or pain or absolute dread that you can feel deep inside the pit of your stomach is better than this numbness. Some people would call me a masochist, but they wouldn't if they could feel numb like I do, then they too would do anything no matter how dangerous or painful it is just to see a glimpse of color in their monochromatic reality.
I thought people who say they wanted me to be happy meant it, that they might've even loved me, but that wasn't enough. They needed to understand-I needed them to understand. But time and time again I am made to feel alone, like I'm drifting through space and time watching their lives go on around me like I did cut the vein that night like I was planning to but I thought 'no there are people who wouldn't be able to go on without me'. So here I am, alive for people who I thought couldn't go on without me already living like I am gone, no, like I was never even here at all. I can't blame them, I'm just another shade of gray blending into the background of a monochromatic reality.