Me Scrolling Castlvania Fan Content When Ive Only Seen Season 1 So Far

Me scrolling Castlvania fan content when I’ve only seen season 1 so far

“When will I learn,” i say, typing the name of my latest media interest into the search bar to look for fan content

“When will I learn,” i say scrolling through the tag, admiring all the fan content found

“THAT MY ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES,” i  s c r e e c h, spoiling myself yet again via shitpost

my grandma brought my parents and I birding with her, and my dad and I are backseat buddies. we are providing witty commentary. now all I can imagine is peter and tony doing the same...

Now for the post only one person asked for: Tony pestering Peter while on an educational trip.

• I’m thinking: class field trip and Tony pulls a suburban mom move and chaperones.

• Studying and watching birds is something neither Tony nor Peter is interested in. Like, at all. Neither of them seem like nature people. Maybe Pepper or Rhodey would be, but even they don’t really seem like they’d be interested. So, if Tony and Peter are forced to learn about birds or nature, the circumstances have gotta be really weird.

• Suburban mom Tony is weird enough, right?

Peter: I know science camp hasn’t been big since like 5th grade, but my HIGH SCHOOL just invited us all to Big Kid Science Camp. Can you sign the permission slip—

Tony: I’ll do you one better >:)

• His motivation? Probably “I want to humiliate Peter by being an embarrassing dad” or “I want to annoy the other adults on the trip, including the instructors, by being more knowledgeable about everything.” Genuinely just wants to bug people. Maybe he wants to spend time with Peter, maybe not— You can’t prove anything.

• Most of the trip he makes himself a general pest by acting like he’s Just a Normal Dad when he’s clearly Tony Stark.

Teacher: Oh my God, Tony Stark— What brings you here Mr. Stark?

Tony: Who, me?? No, no, I’m just a Dad, I just happen to look like Tony Stark

• He probably wears disgusting dad outfits (you know... like crocs...).

• But the fastest way to be annoying and embarrassing?? Harassing the group with witty commentary. Perhaps during a nature walk.

• Take, for instance, some commentary my father and I provided on our outing.

Instructor, passing binoculars between the students: Now, over in that tree, you can see an immature eagle.

Tony: How do you know he’s immature? What, is he drawing boobs in the dirt?

———

Instructor: If you look over there, you’ll see a group of snow geese.

Tony: And over there, you’ll see a partridge in a pear tree!

———

Instructor: That black and white bird there—

Tony: He’s from an old-timey movie.

———

Instructor: Do you know why they call it a bald eagle?

Tony: Because the white feathers around its head make it look bald.

Instructor: Uh, yes, actually.

Tony, to Peter: HAHA TAKE THAT I’m the star pupil now!

———

Tony, whispering to the students: You know, if we steal that duck over there, we’d be abDUCKting it.

Ned: Haha, that QUACKed me up!

Peter, hiding his face: Oh my God

• “I’m trying to look cool in front of my friends, dad, come on.”

• Every time Tony opens his mouth...

Peter? Embarrassed.

Other students? Having the time of their lives.

• So, I’d say Tony’s mission was a success!

THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

So I’ve seen the ADHDers CANNOT sit properly in a chair for more than a second thing and while a totally agree, you’ve missed another huge aspect.

Not using an “actual chair”

I sit on the floor (especially in corners and between furniture because it’s just comfy) more than I’ve ever sat in a chair when I have the option. My family is always giving me side eyes about it and I gave up trying to explain because I don’t understand it either.

Also, a mountain of blankets is THE most comfy thing ever. Give me a big nest of blankets to snuggle down into any day. Combined with a weighted blanket it’s just pure bliss.

Every time Steve enters a room, Friday plays the opening audio from one of his PSA's (e.g. "So you got yourself in detention?", "So you think your ready for sexual intercourse?", "So you wanna know know about nutrition?", etc). While no one can prove it, Tony is positive Peter is responsible for this, and he couldn't be prouder of the little shit.

oh, god that’s awful

•  It all starts when Peter complains about having to watch those videos in school. Tony looks at him like “owo ????? embarrassing videos of Steve??????” He can sniff out a teasable offense a continent away; he’s intrigued simply because he senses a method to make Steve’s life miserable. 

•  Peter looks up a few of the horrid videos on YouTube and shows them to Tony... Tony has never looked so delighted and so evil. He starts sharing the PSAs with Steve and harassing him about them. He insults them from every possible angle: the script, the stiff acting, the seemingly obscure topics. 

•  Then, Tony gets ALL of the Avengers in on it. He shows Natasha, and now, whenever Steve says ANYTHING, she repeats it back to him in the, “So, you decided to..." format. Conversations become increasingly embarrassing for Steve.

Tony: The information we need for this mission is hidden in a safe at the back of a Fry’s.

Peter: ...A Fry’s?

Steve: Its location is bizarre, but at least that should make it easy. 

Nat: So, you think this’ll be easy…

Steve: 

Tony: *uncontrollable laughter*

Steve: Oh, come on. It wasn’t that funny.

Nat: So, you think it wasn’t funny…

Steve: For the love of—

•  Peter also thinks it’s funny, so he plans to use it to get brownie points from Tony— use it as an excuse for father-son type bonding, and all that jazz. They work together to get the speakers to play embarrassing clips of Steve whenever he enters a room. They get the audio from the PSAs, recordings of the conversations they have over the comms, paparazzi footage, etc.. They dig up things Steve doesn’t even remember saying. They get Bucky to tell embarrassing stories about Steve, and they play recordings of them, too. 

•  The whole team always proceeds to make fun of Steve for it, and he ends up just:

•  The Avengers might not agree on everything, but bullying Steve is something they can always do as a team.

Words to replace said, except this actually helps

I got pretty fed up with looking for words to replace said because they weren’t sorted in a way I could easily use/find them for the right time. So I did some myself.

IN RESPONSE TO Acknowledged Answered Protested

INPUT/JOIN CONVERSATION/ASK Added Implored Inquired Insisted Proposed Queried Questioned Recommended Testified

GUILTY/RELUCTANCE/SORRY Admitted Apologized Conceded Confessed Professed

FOR SOMEONE ELSE Advised Criticized Suggested

JUST CHECKING Affirmed Agreed Alleged Confirmed

LOUD Announced Chanted Crowed

LEWD/CUTE/SECRET SPY FEEL Appealed Disclosed Moaned

ANGRY FUCK OFF MATE WANNA FIGHT Argued Barked Challenged Cursed Fumed Growled Hissed Roared Swore

SMARTASS Articulated Asserted Assured Avowed Claimed Commanded Cross-examined Demanded Digressed Directed Foretold Instructed Interrupted Predicted Proclaimed Quoted Theorized

ASSHOLE Bellowed Boasted Bragged

NERVOUS TRAINWRECK Babbled Bawled Mumbled Sputtered Stammered Stuttered

SUAVE MOTHERFUCKER Bargained Divulged Disclosed Exhorted

FIRST OFF Began

LASTLY Concluded Concurred

WEAK PUSY Begged Blurted Complained Cried Faltered Fretted

HAPPY/LOL Cajoled Exclaimed Gushed Jested Joked Laughed

WEIRDLY HAPPY/EXCITED Extolled Jabbered Raved

BRUH, CHILL Cautioned Warned

ACTUALLY, YOU’RE WRONG Chided Contended Corrected Countered Debated Elaborated Objected Ranted Retorted

CHILL SAVAGE Commented Continued Observed Surmised

LISTEN BUDDY Enunciated Explained Elaborated Hinted Implied Lectured Reiterated Recited Reminded Stressed

BRUH I NEED U AND U NEED ME Confided Offered Urged

FINE Consented Decided

TOO EMO FULL OF EMOTIONS Croaked Lamented Pledged Sobbed Sympathized Wailed Whimpered

JUST SAYING Declared Decreed Mentioned Noted Pointed out Postulated Speculated Stated Told Vouched

WASN’T ME Denied Lied

EVIL SMARTASS Dictated Equivocated Ordered Reprimanded Threatened

BORED Droned Sighed

SHHHH IT’S QUIET TIME Echoed Mumbled Murmured Muttered Uttered Whispered

DRAMA QUEEN Exaggerated Panted Pleaded Prayed Preached

OH SHIT Gasped Marveled Screamed Screeched Shouted Shrieked Yelped Yelled

ANNOYED Grumbled Grunted Jeered Quipped Scolded Snapped Snarled Sneered

ANNOYING Nagged

I DON’T REALLY CARE BUT WHATEVER Guessed Ventured

I’M DRUNK OR JUST BEING WEIRDLY EXPRESSIVE FOR A POINT/SARCASM Hooted Howled Yowled

I WONDER Pondered Voiced Wondered

OH, YEAH, WHOOPS Recalled Recited Remembered

SURPRISE BITCH Revealed

IT SEEMS FAKE BUT OKAY/HA ACTUALLY FUNNY BUT I DON’T WANT TO LAUGH OUT LOUD Scoffed Snickered Snorted

BITCHY Tattled Taunted Teased