*Ugh* How I Miss My Nipple Piercings..

*Ugh* how I miss my nipple piercings.. 💀

[and omg, how they never healed cause I kept getting them stuck in every distressed/fishnet shirt I own.. fucking ouch.]

Could sense something was off today before I even got out of bed.. I don't recognize myself. Or rather, I don't feel like I'm here at all. Like I'm not alive. Don't know if it's just another dissociation or not, but it feels surreal. It's like the world exists around me but I am invisible.. a shadow observing my surroundings. Incapable of interracting with anyone or anything. An unnoticeable presence in the distance, stuck in my own purgatory. Emotinally and physically I don't really feel anything at all. Just numb..

Me: totally incapable of dealing with any sort of kind/caring/supportive words.

Also me: actually googling for a response. God, wtf is wrong with me!? 💀💀

It's honestly embarrassing. No way "normal" people struggle with kindness to this degree.

At least I can see the humor in it.. right?

just wanted to send you a little hug! Trying to send you some positivity!

Mmmh.. thank you 🖤

I'm not worthy 💀

Random list of future tattoos:

Baphomet, continue the waterfall of pills along my calf, Lucky 13 [wtf how do I not have this already!?], blackout fingers on one hand, Choose life [trainspotting refference], row of pulled out bloody teeth, a noose, a mexican black kingsnake [or two?], some kinda lovers eye, neo-traditional spiderweb.

When reaching a true mid-life crisis: Tattoo or scarfication of the Y autopsy cut over chest/stomach. [been wanting that since I was like 16.] Blackwork neck tattoo, Face tattoo [Possibly Ash's scythe tbh.. like that.]

Random ass facts about the boys:

Ash is older than Dev by a year or two.

Both are on the shorter side with Ash being slightly taller. [Ash 5,8 / Dev 5,6] He also gets away with it more, cause them platform boots y'all.

Adult Ash has a husky voice. [too heavy on the liquor and cigarettes perhaps]

Adult Dev has a husky body. [lol]