HOW DO I MAKE A BLOG MORE AESTHETICALLY PLEASING

HOW DO I MAKE A BLOG MORE AESTHETICALLY PLEASING

#Ragequit

Synopsis: They hear you say the most outrageous, uncensored, vulgar, out-of-hand, scandalous, disgraceful, atrocious things while raging playing games.

Warnings: Not proofread, vulgar language(?), fake threats (NO DEATH THREATS, I DON'T CONDONE THAT), suggestive 😨😨 (I warned you it was atrocious)

Note: These are all real things quoted by my friend, @dewwberry. I'm being fr right now

Featuring: Micheal Kaiser, Sae Itoshi, Rin Itoshi, Yoichi Isagi x GN! reader

Micheal Kaiser

"Sweetheart, are you done with the computer?" You peek your head into the room, watching his gaze melt when you enter the room. Kaiser turns his chair to face you, arms instinctively reaching out to hold you by the waist. You get his message, straddling yourself onto his comfortable lap.

"Mhm," Kaiser releases his gentle grasp on you, allowing you to shift around and face the computer. "Playing games, eh?" Kaiser whispers to you, fingers traveling to your hips as he rests his chin on your shoulder. You nod, "I've been bored all day and you've done nothing but work so..."

"Let me watch then," Kaiser hums, leaning back to give you space. Cracking your knuckles, you excitedly drum your fingers against the table as your favorite game loads in.

You hear congratulatory whistles from the man behind you every time you got a headshot, pulling your hair out of your face whenever it bothers you. Honestly, it felt more like he was staring at your focused expression than the game itself. He couldn't help but tease you, a cheeky grin forming on his face when his hands travel from your waist down to your hips and rested comfortably on your thighs.

An irritated groan escapes you when you die again due to the same guy, smashing your mouse against the mouse pad, "I'm gonna shoot your house down," You continue to swerve your mouse around, unaware of your boyfriend, absolutely stunned by your words. (He's played games with you... what have you said about him without him knowing?)

Normally, he would laugh his ass off at you dying again

"Yeah, that's right, eat my ass!" You jump in your seat, a victorious cheer escaping you the moment you kill off the last guy. Kaiser blinks at your sudden words, eyes widening when you innocently type in an innocent 'gg!!' in the chat.

You turn your head to him, a satisfied look on your face. Tilting your head, you asked, "Something wrong?" Kaiser recovers from his shock, a frown on his face. "You can't go saying that to strangers, Meine Liebe. I only want to hear you saying that to me."

Kaiser feels an elbow nudge him, a flustered face looking back at him. Don't expect to receive an apology though, he was 100% serious about what he said.

Sae Itoshi

Normally, Sae would expect his lovely significant other to greet him home with warm arms and a kiss - especially after a long trip away from home. It's been so many nights and days since he was in your arms, he'd really love to receive a good hug from you right now.

However, all he received when he opened the door was the sound of gunshots and ecstatic shouting. Almost instantly, he knew you were on that game again. Sighing, he closes the door. All the sounds he made were drowned out purely by how loud the game was.

Softly opening the door, he looked inside the room. A small smile unconsciously forms on his face, watching you with a competitive grin on your face. Judging by your expression, you seemed to be winning by a landslide.

Leaning back on your chair, cheers erupt from you and your teammates as the game ends. "Hold up, let me get some snacks," Your teammate says, typing 'afk' in the chat.

"Hm, I'm craving Sae's lollipop." Sae's smile twists into a stare of disbelief, jaw dropping. Did you really... really just say that out loud?

Sudden gunshots ensue as you arch your back to lean forward to your computer. Urgently clicking on your keyboard whilst you run away from the players chasing you down, "(Teammate name), get back here and help me! Ohmydaysohmydays,"

"AAA, you better stop shooting me or else I'm going to shoot your whole family down!" You scream at the computer, "I hope both sides of your pillow are warm tonight!"

You feel a hand press against your forehead suddenly, stealing your attention away from the computer as you blink incessantly at your husband. "Oh, Sae! You're home, already?" Your aggressive tone dissipates as if it never even existed - you completely switched characters.

"...Are you sick?" Your fingers glide around Sae's hand against your forehead, feeling around your face and shaking your head. You hear sad music from your computer and your attention returns to the computer, "Fuck, I died."

Sae's hand cups your cheek, fingers digging into your skin a little harder than you'd prefer. His hand snaps your neck to gaze back at him. He rests his forehead against yours for a few seconds, closing his eyes. Your lips part for a moment, in awe of the man you married in front of you.

Sae suddenly breaks the tension, standing back up. "If you're not physically sick, you have to be mentally sick for saying that." You scoff dramatically even though you had a grin planted on your face, turning your chair back to face the computer. Reviving yourself, you won the round in a short amount of time, your mouth zipped shut.

He smirked in response to your new attitude, playing along, "That's my girl." You replied to his comment with a good jab to his side.

Rin Itoshi

Being quite competitive himself, he loved to play games with you. He's had his fair share of matches with you and I can 100% assure you he says the most barbaric, diabolical things. He was dragged into Roblox because of you and you made fun of him for losing to a bunch of 9-year-olds.

He would bet a lot of things whenever the both of you play games. Little arguments and disagreements like who would choose where to eat would always be settled with games. It was a boost of pride for him whenever he saw your defeated face, pouting and huffing for a rematch.

His favorite games are when the both of you can work as a team (2 player princess tycoon). An involuntary smile appears on his face whenever the both of you win, insisting that he carried the team to victory. For some reason though, he can only play as a team with you. He only takes orders from you and hates being told what to do by Isagi or Bachira.

"The last one is running over to your side, they should be low right now," Rin comments to you, who is calling him over the phone.

"Come here, Pookie!" You grin as you begin to chase the person, not noticing Rin's disgusted glare at you. "As long as you get him, I don't care what you call him," He rolls his eyes. Despite what Rin had retorted, you had always been the one calling him Pookie so it soured his mood a little to hear you call someone that.

Once you shoot off the last person, a bright victory banner appears on both of your screens. "RAHHH, big daddy wins again!" You exclaim, stretching.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he seems almost disappointed with your antics. "I'm coming over," You let out an audible 'huh' at his sudden declaration. "W- what? Why?" The notification that he left the server does nothing but confirm that he's actually on his way.

After a lot of shuffling and background noise, Rin replied "To shut you up." What a lame excuse to come over and hang out, right? You giggle at his words, leaving the server and lifting yourself up to your feet, and fishing out your keys. Judging by the background, you guess that Rin's already close by.

Opening the door for him and leaning against the frame of it, you question, "And, how will you do that?" Out of nowhere, Rin appears in your line of vision, a hand on your chin as he gives you a passionate kiss. After he breathlessly breaks the kiss, he wraps his arm around your waist, "I'll shut you up like this."

Yoichi Isagi

Isagi had gone out to buy snacks a while ago, noticing how you haven't eaten all morning because you were too preoccupied with your game. The moment he returned home, he could hear your yells and he deduced that you still haven't gotten off that game.

"Ohmygosh, he picked me up!??!" You yelled out loud which made Isagi's movements come to a halt for a second... what kind of game were you playing now? He feels chills slither down his spine, shivers rushed through him whilst he pieces together memories of you buying this love simulator game on a whim.

"I love being held by men, especially Isagi," He heard a giddily sweet giggle from the room, making his cheeks heat up when your words repeat in his head like a broken record. He hears the voice of another woman - probably from the game judging by how... dramatic it sounded.

"You... I...!" The woman from the game blurted, "This isn't over! I'll be back. He's mine, you better watch your back." It sounded like a classic mean girl.

Isagi hears another prideful laugh, entering the room just as you state the most repulsive, foul, vile thing ever, "HAHA, suck on my big fat juicy nuts."

You hear the creak of the door, snapping your head over and covering your mouth to stifle your gasp. An awkward moment of deafening silence burns this moment into your memory, you feel your gut twist in a bad way.

You bury your flushed face in your palms in shame, profuse apologies slipping from your lips. "Aha, that's certainly not the thing I expected to hear when entering a room," Isagi plays it off, having experienced a lot of embarrassing moments in front of you too.

He looks at your screen, seeing an avatar that somewhat resembles him and another avatar that resembles you. Isagi laughs, patting your back when you curl yourself up into a ball and hug your knees to your chest.

"I mean... they're sort of cute together?" Isagi mentions. You scream internally, chiding yourself. "Isagi, sweetie, as much as I appreciate your effort, you aren't helping."

You feel warm fingers slowly graze your cheek, lifting your head up to return his gaze. His maneuvers are smooth, slowly tucking your hair behind your ear and leaning in for a deep kiss. You see him step back - almost too early to your liking. Your finger pats your lips, still registering the kiss you got.

"Your new chapstick tastes good," You see Isagi lick his lips before bending down for another kiss, holding your hand by the wrist out of his way.

"Did that make you feel better?" He grins, a rosy pink adorning his cheeks, content with your nod.

A blush and try to hide but B take their before they can

Sae x reader

Fluff

m.list

request are open, take a look at the rules if you're new here :)

I hope you enjoy!

Sae was really talkative for once, not that he rarely talks around you - you literally live together - but it was still something that doesn't happen as often as you prefer to admit. He just got on some new exercises and he felt the need to talk about it to his s/o. Sweet. 

Little did he know, you were focusing on something else at the moment, which happened to be another thing he doesn't do much : cooking without his shirt on. Like, you get that it's the middle of the summer, that it's really hot in Japan during this period and that cooking makes you hot even more. On another day, you could easily pass through it and listened to him mindlessly. Today wasn't one of them. 

You were a little too busy scanning the way his muscles tense at each move, noticing new ones every once in a while and you kinda were fascinated by it.

But he's not an idiot. He knows you’re the talkative one, so once he noticed your lack of answer he stole a glance behind him, and found you mesmerized by his back. 

"Are you even listening to me," he asked rhetorically, not turning around yet. 

"I am." your voice is low, you answered in a dreamy way which is enough to know that you weren’t. 

"Quote me what I just said ?" Turning around to face you, you don’t look up immediately to answer. Instead you replied with another question.

"More importantly, did you always have that scar on your smaller back ? I've never seen it before..." escaping your zone out state when you realized you weren’t looking at the same thing anymore, you catch his blue eyes piercing throughout your body like she just did. He was leaning on the counter, waiting for you to snapped out.

"I do. I got it from a fight with Rin. Another question ? Or can you answer mine ?" You were left speechless and you mouth opened. Sometimes you forget how handsome he is. By the time you took to answer, he already guessed you won’t answer. Taking a few steps to meet you, both his hands laid on the counter you were sitting on. He tilt his head, his hand a little too close to your thight.

"Next time, ask your question then listen to me. Alright ?" His tone is commanding and you couldn't help but get turned on. 

You could feel a hot feeling on her cheeks but wasn't ready to face him or the truth. Turning your face away, ashamed of your body’s reaction,and you nodded. You were quite sure you would get away with it yet you soon felt slander fingers grabbing your chin and turning it right to face him again. His eyes staring deep into your soul making you shiver.

"Understand ?" He asked once again, not breaking eye contact.

"Yes."

"Good." With that, he pecked your lips, moving on and getting back to cook while you were still processing what just happened.

I'M CRAZY ABOUT THIS MAN YOU DON'T GET IT. ask anything I'll do it. Pls request stuff or hc about bllk

Michael Kaiser — On Your Knees

PAIRING: Michael Kaiser/Reader WORD COUNT: 2.9k TYPE: Humor, Teasing, ERM I think y/n and kaiser might like each other 🤓 WARNING: Suggestive sorry (flirting is only verbal but explicit at times)

Kaiser always looks alright with his hair wet. Not, like, stunning or anything, but passable. Then you know it’ll start standing up in weird ways after it dries a little and he’ll ask Ness to help him with it — which, embarrassing, by the way.

But anyway. You wanted to check out the communal bath after you took a shower, figured you’d be alone because it was already bordering on late, and Kaiser followed you because why wouldn’t he. Not like you value your peace and solitude or anything. He can be such a pest sometimes.

You were telling him what Isagi told you — it’s called a sento and apparently it’s different from the more popular onsen — and he said you weren’t ‘worldly’ and that you weren’t ‘impressing him’ and then some more about how ‘everyone knows this.’ Shithead. You should spit in his breakfast tomorrow, if you remember.

Well, you like sitting in the bath, at least, so you’re not too sour right now. Even Kaiser being right next to you can’t ruin it.

“I like this Raichi guy,” you say.

Kaiser shakes his head a little to show you he disapproves. “Don’t tell me you mingle with them. Also, the guy’s always benched. He’s second-rate.”

“No, listen, he was telling me about this sexy soccer motto he has. I really wanna know what it’s about.”

“You’re embarrassing. If you’re in my entourage, you should act like it.”

“Dude, you’re just mad at Isagi ‘cause he was trending on football twitter more than you were that day,” you say.

“I’m not!”

Very persuasive argument coming from him here. It’ll take a lot out of you to take it apart. He’s fuming about it, too. Maybe it’s not so bad Kaiser came along if you can poke fun at him.

“I don’t know why you’re the favorite on the team, anyway,” you say. “They all die over your corny tattoo and not to mention how much you love showing it off. Not cool at all.”

“You wish you were me. Now you’re being jealous because no one likes you, and it’s making you look even uglier than usual,” says Kaiser, seeming to believe himself if the smug look on his face is anything to go by.

“I mean, I had a girlfriend till recently, you know.” Kaiser rolls his eyes, but you ignore him. He’s always doing this, pretending he doesn’t want to hear you. “She had this botched blue dye job and said things like ‘pussy power,’ with the crystals in her room and the tarot cards and all.”

“Yeah? Sounds great. Did you pick her up after a match, loser?”

You click your tongue and wag your finger at him just to be annoying. “No, I don’t fool around with fans. Seems more like your forte.”

He flicks the offending finger away. “I’ve never done that, you slanderous pig.”

“No, but listen, she didn’t care about football at all. She didn’t even know what a scissor kick is. Ooh, she drove me wild.” You sing the last part, looking up at the ceiling fondly as if you’re recalling a warm memory.

Kaiser narrows his eyes at you, frowning. “You’re one strange individual.” And what a pompous way to put it.

“But anyway, wanna know what kinda tattoo I’d get?”

“I seriously don’t care.”

“A skull with two guns. Hard as fuck.”

“You’re so lame. It’s appalling, and also probably why you got dumped.”

He’s taking the tattoo thing seriously. At least seriously enough to insult you over it. He’s even snickering at you in amusement. His face is always, how can you put it… snide, but he does look a touch more evil when he starts grinning and shit. What a hoot, though. Really.

“Nah, there was this guy. He wore suspenders with plaid polos and these little sweaters over them. They were sustainable. Sustainable. Can you believe it? Sustainable! I didn’t stand a chance.” You poke him on the neck, already distracted from what you were rambling about. Kaiser is going to bring up your low attention span soon, you can smell it on him. It doesn’t take any effort to reach out, though, what with him sitting so close next to you. “This isn’t such a bad spot for a tattoo, actually. I don’t know, maybe you were onto something.”

“Paws off,” he says, swatting you away like a bug. A pedestrian bug, probably, at least in his imagination. “You really wanna fondle me that badly, you’ll use any excuse to do so?”

“Paws!” you repeat, clapping. “You’re hysterical.”

Kaiser rolls his eyes again. He seems to like to do that a lot, at least in your presence. If there was such a thing as competitive eye-rolling, you wager he’d be good at it, maybe even better than he is at football.

“No, but listen-”

“God, I hate it when you say that,” he interrupts with a groan, then contradicts himself by also swinging an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer just to yawn in your face with great exaggeration. The water is way too hot for this nonsense, so you push him away. “Because I never want to listen to you.”

“You’re crazy. Insane. It’s super clinical. Like, really.”

“Yes, I’m sure, unlike me, you’d pass a psychiatric evaluation because I’m crazy and you aren’t. Of course.”

“Imagine-”

“Can you stop topic-hopping?” Kaiser asks, annoyed. See, you knew he’d bring it up. “Does your head ever hurt with how much bullshit goes through it?”

You shush him. He scowls at you like you’re some mold growing in the bath, but you disregard his expression of disdain. “Imagine you’re having a nice day, I don’t know, at practice. Then I barge in with all of my asshole glory, right, and I walk up to you, and for no reason, I say, ‘On your knees,’ instead of greeting you. Isn’t that kinda deranged?”

Kaiser stares at you. To his credit, he’s decent at maintaining a poker face, but once he’s embarrassed, there’s no hiding it, no going back. Because no matter how much he does his usual male posturing or whatever it’s called, his face is all red, the blush even going up to his ears, mouth wavering the slightest bit. “W-What? In your dreams.”

“Oh, do you like getting bossed around or something?” you ask with the sensitivity of a numb toe. “That’s so pathetic.”

It’s quite the spectacle when his skin somehow becomes even more flush. Sick of your leering, maybe, Kaiser whips around, albeit not all the way, and covers his cheek with his hand while peering at you through his fingers. Finally, he decrees, “You suck,” with too much authority.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Forget about me, though. In that situation, do you spit or do you swallow?”

It’s unclear whether you’re getting any gratification out of this besides the satisfaction of flustering him, but you smile in amusement regardless. As if you care about Kaiser sitting there, looking all pretty and nervous because of some nonsense you’d been spewing. Not like you’re crazy about him or anything. That’d be ridiculous. You couldn’t be more unfazed if you tried.

You grab your towel with what you’d call impressive swiftness, then turn around and stand, covering yourself before preparing to go on your merry way. Kaiser pulls you back by the ankle, trying to trip you or something, the menace. Hilarious guy, really.

He is staring up at you in this petulant sort of way, grabbing onto his own towel with his other hand. “Why are you leaving so soon?” he asks, sounding peeved, as if you haven’t been here with him for an unreasonable amount of time already.

“I thought I should give you some privacy since you’re all hot and bothered now,” you say (with this douchebag laugh you have for situations like these, where you’re being a douchebag — self-explanatory), stepping out of his grip. Then you try to imitate his voice, but more high-pitched, accompanying your performance with a few vulgar hand gestures. “Oh, [Y/n], you slanderous pig! I think that’s what you’d sound like.”

“You’re such a lowlife,” he says, before all but leaping out of the bath and trying to maim you right here on the spot, and the only thing to save you from your demise is that he gets lightheaded and almost faints immediately after.

You reach out to pull him up and keep him steady, holding him by the arms. “You can’t be jumping out of the bath like that, man, come on.”

The lack of response concerns you, but after a while, Kaiser gathers his wits enough to say, “I’m going to make you slip, and I’ll be praying you split your head open.”

You burst out laughing. “Do it, then. You don’t have it in you, do you?”

Instead of doing as he promised to retaliate to your provocation, he settles for letting go of you and glaring, before clutching the side of his head and going still again. If there was any medical wing in this goddamn football contraption, maybe you would’ve taken him, but alas. At least you don’t need to worry about Kaiser too much since he eventually concedes and holds onto your arm for support.

The sight of you two stumbling around towards the changing room is probably comedic — uncoordinated as hell, covering yourselves with these flimsy little towels, using the hands not clutching at the other.

“You’re supposed to drink a lot of water before getting in,” you say.

“It’s your fault! You didn’t warn me we were going.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you weren’t invited. Jeez.”

“Oh, whatever.”

You return the tiny towel to the basket, swapping it for a bigger one and making quick work of drying yourself. You’re slipping on your shirt when you ask, “Is your head all right now?”

“I’m fine.”

When you turn around to judge whether he’s being truthful or not, he’s dabbing himself in a manner which is way more laborious, examining his reflection in the mirror as if he’s in some slow motion commercial where the camera will capture a conspicuous water droplet falling down his neck, admiring his jaw from different angles. He makes you sick sometimes.

“I’m not gonna wait for you to finish checking yourself out.”

He shoos you away with a dismissive wave of his hand. Unlike his, your actions most often align with your words, though, so you do walk out of the door. You’re not even ten steps in when Kaiser reappears, now magically dressed.

“Stop rushing,” he says, pushing you out of the way — and for no reason! There’s enough space for both of you in the hallway. You end up lagging a bit behind him. “I’m dizzy.”

“I thought you said-”

“Blah, blah,” he cuts you off, untying his hair and doing a bad job of smoothing it out with his fingers.

You’re rooming with him and Ness, so you’re already headed in the same direction. As much as this stinks, your other option was Gesner and Grim. God, is fucking Gesner obsessed with dick cheese. Of all things, that’s what he’s always talking about. Grim has your condolences, but the problem is out of your hands now.

“Your hairstyle’s ridiculous.”

Kaiser turns his nose up and smiles, coming off as pleased by the insult. “You can only wish to pull it off.” Always preening like a peacock. He’s entertaining. You swear he is.

You hook one of the ends, where it’s the bluest, around your finger, twirling it around and around. “I had a dream about you recently.”

“Aww, I’m on your mind even when you’re unconscious. I could vomit right now.”

“You were in the meditation position, but you were levitating, and the rat tails were holding you up.”

Maybe you’ve committed some kind of utmost offense, because he doesn’t even bother insisting they’re not rat tails this time. “Wow, those are the kinds of things you dream about me? Your brain is defective to the core.”

“What do you want me to dream about you, then? Are you implying something?”

He faces you, and he has this way of looking at you like you’re a blight on humanity. You have an urge to press your palms against his cheeks to check how warm they get when he blushes, but resist it. “You’re so delusional.”

He’s rolling his eyes again.

“Keep rolling them, see where it gets you.”

“What, are you implying something?” Kaiser asks, mocking you, but he seems kind of happy at the insinuation. You’re not about to point it out, though, having a semblance of self-preservation.

“But anyway, your hair,” you say. “It looks good for tugging on.”

He snorts, either at your audacity to speak such things out loud to him, or at the way you straight up ignored his question.

So you elaborate, just so he doesn’t get the wrong idea, “Yeah, like, I kinda wanna grab you and swing you around till you fly outta my grip.”

“What?! As if.”

“It’d be so funny, though.”

“Maybe to other stupid people like you. Dense people who always ruin the fucking moment, for example, that type of thing.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you say, stifling a laugh before entering the room.

The lights are still on when you come in. Ness seems to be reading some kind of book, sitting upright and all. “Hey, guys. You were gone for a while.”

“We were,” Kaiser says, you assume just because he likes hearing himself talk. “All that time I can’t get back.”

You crouch down to get him a water bottle in case he forgot how dehydrated he was (or more likely decides he’s above getting it by himself). It’s rare for you to do something out of the goodness of your heart, so when you turn around to pass it and find him draping himself over the solitary bed — the one you won dibs on in an honest round of rock, paper, scissors — you swear to never do anything nice for him ever again.

“Hey, get off! It’s mine.”

“But I want it,” he whines, as if his word holds more weight than the aforementioned game of rock, paper, scissors, which, as already established, you won.

You’re about to make an earnest attempt at throwing him out of the bed until Ness comes to his defense. “Come on, leave him alone.”

Saying no to Kaiser is exceptionally easy. But going against what Ness is asking? You can’t get a read on the guy. He’s either way too happy most of the time, or is secretly plotting your murders for all you know. You toss the water bottle at Kaiser, leaving him to smirk at your relenting.

“By the way, do you mind if I turn the lights off after I do my nighttime routine in the bathroom? I’m kind of tired,” Ness says.

“Sure,” allows Kaiser. So generous and charming with a winning personality to boot, this guy.

You lean against the bunk bed and ask, “Oh yeah, why are you still up?”

“I thought it might be rude if I went to bed before you both came back, so I decided to wait.”

Damn, now you feel kind of bad for dilly-dallying for so long. You clutch your chest with a tasteful sense of drama. “You’re so perfect. Hey, Ness, you wanna take the top bunk?”

“Wow, really?”

“Why not at this point,” you say. After all, Ness came in second in the game, but gave it up to Kaiser, and he ruined everything already.

“Thanks!” He grins at you before rushing off to do his business, almost blinding you with the sweetness he emits. Your gaze trails after him until he leaves the room.

Kaiser is looking at you with a mix between scorn and disgust when you walk over to his side to retrieve your phone from the bedside table, but you pretend not to notice.

Figuring you have nothing better to do, you take Ness’s previous spot, lying down on your stomach, ready to check your notifications. In your peripheral vision, you see Kaiser take his shirt off theatrically, then he has the fucking nerve to throw it at you. He makes such a big show out of existing.

It’s probably more painless to throw him a glance now than to be stubborn, so you exhale out of your nostril in resignation and turn your attention back to him. Kaiser props himself on his elbow while reclining on his side, posing on the bed, gracing you with a bastard smile. Almost presenting himself like a Renaissance painting you’re supposed to admire in some chaste, intellectual kind of way.

“Wanna know something?”

“What?” he asks, apparently irritated since you don’t seem so appreciative of him right now.

“I think shitty, obnoxious guys like you need to be put in their place,” you tell him.

It really is way too obvious on his complexion when he starts getting shy. He’s like a breathing mood ring. It’s almost fascinating. For a second, Kaiser is incredulous, but then he turns smug again, addressing you with a sense of challenge. “Don’t even joke. You’re not really about it like that. All you do is talk.”

You think you’re gonna start having even more fun together after today.

___

No homo I HATE HIM 😍

CHRONICLES OF HOUSECATS

sypnosis: introducing your cats to your boyfriend (gone wrong)

no prns used (reader). established relationship with isagi. kaiser & ness are cats. cw: swearing. bleeding (isagi). socially awkward/awkwardly social isagi. loser bf isagi.

“This is Michael, but I call him Mihya- he prefers the nickname.”

The blond cat purrs in content, rubbing his fluffy face on your shoulders as he leans his furry body onto your chest. You rub his tiny chin with your index finger in response to his affection, while supporting his weight with your left arm under his feline bum.

You then gesture towards the other cat pawing at your ankles, “That’s Alexis. I sometimes call him ‘Lexis. Three syllabus is a mouthful when you’re constantly calling for your cats.” Alexis has a body of fur with a beautiful gradient- roots of caramel brown to ends of.. magenta?

Isagi bites down his tongue. He doesn’t dare to question the genuinity of the cat’s coloured fur out loud.

Holding Michael to your chest, you squat down to pick up Alexis with your free arm. Who then starts purring, licking your face in content.

You squirm away from him, pulling your face towards Michael instead. “No kisses, ‘Lexis.” To which Alexis responds with a noise that sounds akin to a pathetic whine.

The football player offers you a meek smile, “Wow. Your cats really like you, huh?” He’s heard rumours of cats’ behaviour being either disinterested or a complete hellspawn. So this isn’t what he had expected when you told him that you have two free-loading furry slackers at home waiting for you.

You scoff at his observation, “No one else feeds them, if not for me. Of course they would act like suck-ups.” Michael smugly licks his own paw while Alexis only stares up at you- is that cat smiling??? Isagi feels unsettled being in close proximity with the magenta cat.

Thankfully for him, you place both the cats down onto the sofa behind where you’re standing.

You turn around to face Isagi. “So.. What do you think, Yoichi?” You smile bashfully at him, “You ready to be a cat dad yet?” You tease.

At those words, both of your cats’ ears perk up. Alerted at the new-found information, Alexis shoots his head up at you, eyes wide in betrayal- like you just told him he’s adopted or something.

… Which he technically would be.

Michael starts meowing loudly, leaping onto your back and excessively pawing at you for your attention.

“Oh, uhm-” Isagi chokes out in a high-pitched voice, “If.. If you don’t mind- and if they’d like to, of course.” Poor boy’s a blushing mess.

This is it, Isagi thinks. A new stage into your long-term relationship. All those heartfelt conversations, romantic dates and good, quality time spent together has brought you both so far. He feels elated, happy that you trust him to take care of your.. ‘furbabies’ with you, together. As a couple.

You chuckle at his reaction. Cute, almost 2 years into the relationship and he’s still easily flustered over a few words. 

Wrapping your arms around his neck, he instinctively places a hand on your hip. You flutter your eyes shut, leaning in for a sweet kiss.

“MPMH- !”

Michael, that little shit, JUMPED on Isagi’s face.

“Mihya, get off him.”

“MREOW” 

“Bad, Michael.”

“MREOWWWWW”

Isagi wishes you would take action instead of trying to negotiate with a goddamn cat.

“Ugh, this is why I can never bring people over,” you frown at the blond cat’s refusal to budge. “Get over it, Mihya. He’s your dad now.”

For reasons unknown to you, that statement makes Michael even more hissy as he starts swatting his paw at Isagi’s head.

Bless Isagi and his tolerance to your cat’s riotous attacks, as you finally actually start to pull Michael off of him.

Michael hisses and wiggles in protest, still swinging his paws at Isagi’s direction as you grab and hold him from his armpits.

“There, there. My rampageous little hiss machine HK433.” You speak of those words so affectionately, one would think that you’ve called him the sweetest pet name ever. Not.. whatever the hell you just said.

But Michael isn’t the only unhappy feline in the room right now. Alexis is currently smiling(?) up ominously at Isagi, who suddenly feels really unsafe.

“Uhm. Honey.. I think this one’s- YEOUCH!”

You look down to see Alexis’ fangs digging into the skin of Isagi’s left foot.

“ALEXIS!”

His eyes widen as he quickly sits up, staring up at you with his big, glossy, guilty eyes.

“Mrrrrp,” Alexis begs for your forgiveness, rubbing his head onto your thigh as you sat down on the floor to pull him away from Isagi’s feet.

Curse his cutesy furry face because you find it hard to scold the little gripper biter.

Crossing your legs, you place the two cats on your lap then start inspecting your boyfriend’s injury.

“It’s bleeding, Yoichi. You should wash it off.” You furrow your brows as you touch the broken skin around the fresh wound. “The bathroom’s that way, I’ll help you disinfect it- in a bit, after I lock these two up. Do you need help getting there?”

“It’s alright, It doesn’t hurt at all.” He assures you, holding in his (tears of) anguish, “It’s not that bad, I’ll be able to walk fine!” He wheezes out, limping his way (in pain) to the bathroom. As long as he can get as far away as he can from those two little fluffy imps, he’d even crawl with his limbs mangled.

After putting up a small fight, you manage to lock those two devilish furballs up in their ‘bad-boy-corner’, which is just a cage- oddly filled with comfortable cushions and colourful soft toys considering that it's a supposed ‘jail’ served for punishment to misbehaving felines.

Michael immediately starts whining and yowling, pathetically reaching his paws out of the cage.

Your lips tugged down into a frown at his pitiful display, “You’re not guilt-tripping me this time, Mihya. Save your dramatic act for the talent shows.”

The blond cat immediately stops his little masquerade, and narrows his eyes at you.

Next to the huffy cat, Alexis meows for your attention. He rubs his head against the cage, wanting to feel your touch of comfort.

You frown, “Sorry, ‘Lexis. No pats until you both learn to not attack Yoichi.”

Both cats have their ears pinned to the back in disdain at the mention of your lover’s name. Right, that second-rate football player that you’re seeing. For two years, apparently. Without them noticing. The betrayal!

They should’ve known better that your weekly ‘business trips’ were just sleepovers at Isagi’s place. That the unpleasant scent all over you and your belongings were not of your colleagues’, but of that stupid Yoichi’s. 

Michael starts growling at his predicament. Him! Locked up in the ‘bad-boy-corner’! It’s been months since he had last been punished. Not even when he knocked down your things on your vanity because he wanted to watch you do your eyeliner, but this guy, Yoichi, came out of nowhere and broke his good boy streak!

Alexis stares sadly at the direction of where you walked off to aid Isagi with his wound. He feels guilty- not at all for the bite, but for upsetting you. He had never upset you before! Stupid Yoichi is the problem, all he did was show up and now suddenly both him and Michael are in trouble! He notices that his furry friend isn’t happy with the man, too. He will have to cook up a plan to get rid of the football player.. Out of here and away from you, at the very least.

Oh, well. For now they’ll have to figure out how to get themselves out of the cage, though.

© littlemissferret 2024 ✦ do not repost, translate or modify .

i love isagi, i really do. but there's always this strong urge to bully him and make him a cringefail loser bf.

- might be bcuz he received zero chocolates for valentines day. - never thought i'd write kaiser nor ness meowing but here i am.

js look at him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!