Sae X Y/n - Tumblr Posts

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study sessions

pairing(s): oblivious!itoshi sae x flirty!male reader

summary: you are giving one too many hints that you like sae, but he gets none of them and assumes you two are a bit too close for friends. you decide to take matters into your own hands and be his secret admirer

warnings: none!

word count: 4.5k

a/n: thanks for the support on my last post i love you guys!! it’s like one of my biggest headcanons that sae is oblivious to things such as romance cuz the only thing he canonically knows abt is football 😭. i had no idea what to write for the notes so...yeah. also, i didn't intend for it to be so long, i just kept writing. anyways enjoy this mess of a fic! <3 (not proof read)

you sat in class, leaning on your right hand, thinking and a bit annoyed. how hasn’t sae taken the hint? you don’t just flirt with your friends, dammit! you probably couldn’t even ask him out cause he’d just assume you were joking. you don’t ask friends out as a joke either do you? friends…that word left a bad taste in your mouth. you were so blatantly obvious, but he couldn’t take the hint? you started thinking of plans that might work. then you settled on one. be sae's secret admirer, then reveal who you are! the more you thought about it, the more the plan seemed like a good idea. it was around a week from his birthday too, maybe that'd be your gift to him, a new boyfriend. you grinned in excitement, this was gonna be fun!

after you got home, you decided to write him a note and put it in his locker. you changed your handwriting while you were writing the note, not wanting him to discover who it was immediately. it was pretty simple, but kinda (very) directed at his obliviousness, but it was nothing out of his comfort zone. the note read "i think you're pretty cute, but you can't take a hint. maybe start paying attention to how others act around you!". you wondered if your plan would work, but only time will tell.

the next day you arrived early and put the note in his locker. you hoped that he wouldn’t throw it out like the other love letters and confessions he got. your prayers were answered though, as during lunch, when you were sitting at your guys’ desks, he said something. “i got a note in my locker today,” he said bluntly. “yeah?” you grinned, “and you didn’t throw it out?” you silently celebrated. “no, something about it was different.” he gave you the note and crossed his arms before leaning them on the table. “what did she mean by ‘start paying attention to how others act around you’?” his eyebrows furrowed in curiousity. “she, huh? you think it’s a girl?” you looked in his eyes. “are you implying it’s not?” sae raised an eyebrow. “just saying, ya never know” you smiled.

you stared at the note a bit longer. “kinda funny how they say you’re cute but then say you’re oblivious,” you chuckled, “can’t blame ‘em” you flirted, but the tone was quite subtle. “what’s that supposed to mean?” sae looked at you curiously, “don’t worry ‘bout it” you waved off. “seriously—nevermind. you’re impossible anyway” he sighed in defeat. you grinned at him, “yeah, i know.”

you looked over at the note again, “honestly, i think it’s a sign to think about anything other than football.” you remarked as you toyed with the edge of the note, your fingers tracing the words as you tried to gauge sae's reaction. “football is not the only thing i think about. it's important to me, though.” sae said, his tone a bit offended. “you literally don’t pay attention in class because you’re thinking about it.” you stared at him with an eyebrow raised, “that’s why we go on like study dates all the time.” you put the word ‘date’ on purpose, wondering how he’d react. “i guess you’re right.” he said indifferently. no reaction... “hey, we gotta test tomorrow, right? let’s go to my place and study for it!” you suggested, “but we have to practice for our upcoming practice match after midterms…” he protested, both of you were on the school’s team and often practiced together. “well you won’t play if you don’t keep up your grades!” you protested right back. “…fine. i’ll go over to your house.”

after the school day was over, you waited at the gates for sae so you two could walk home. he was late, which made you annoyed. so you decided to text him. his contact name read ‘sae ❤️’ which he never commented on, for some odd reason. you texted him “where r u?? i’ve been waiting for like 10 minutes”. after 1 or 2 minutes he responded with “sorry, some girl confessed to me. i think she was the one who left me the note.” oh how wrong he was…

sae finally met up with you and he was as stoic as ever. “well well well, look who showed up,” you got up from the wall you leaned on, “betcha you rejected that girl without hesitation as usual, didn’t you?” you smirked, seeing how she was clearly upset and tearing up. you hoped that wouldn’t be you… “i wouldn’t say without hesitation…” sae shoved his hands in his pockets. “yeah right! you totally did, she’s crying cuz of ya, playboy!” you snickered a bit, “it’s not funny, l/n. and don’t call me ‘playboy’” he looked at you coldly. “you’re such a buzzkill, it was a joke anyways, handsome.” you teased with a coy smirk before putting an arm around his shoulder. “ugh, don’t call me that either, what’s even the point of calling me that?” he replied with a grimace. “ah, just saying cause you are, and all the girls seem to think so too.” you smirked. “don’t joke around like that.” he said, a face of disdain became more evident. “see? a total buzzkill…”

you opened the door to your house before turning and speaking to him, “so, you wanna tell me what happened with that girl?” your curiosity was out of this roof. “she confessed to me like any other girl. but i think she was the one, cause she handed me a letter and the handwriting was pretty similar.” sae mentioned. “that so? and what if it doesn’t stop?” you asked, already knowing the answer. “try to find out who it is, i guess”

the two of you went up to your room. it wasn’t messy but it wasn’t clean either. you grabbed an extra chair, put it at your desk and you two started studying together. you regularly had the urge to stare at him for long moments of time, and “accidentally” brush your fingers on his when grabbing a pen. sae's gaze flickered to the folded paper on your desk, a curious expression crossed his face, “hey, what’s that?” you looked at the note, it was the second letter, but you couldn’t ouright tell him that, “uh, it’s a grocery list my mom gave me for tomorrow, cause she won’t be here.” and he took it, like that. “oh, okay.” then shrugged it off…

“hey, can you help me with this question?” sae asked, you already knew all the material, since you actually payed attention in class. “sure,” and you leaned over, a bit too close (on purpose), and started helping him with the question. “you get it now?” you asked, after some frustration. “yeah, thanks. you’re actually kinda smart.” he remarked backhandedly, “hey! what’s that supposed to mean? i’m very smart thank you very much! i wouldn’t even be in this situation if you actually paid attention in class. stop focusing on football so much!” you hit him on the head lightly, but in a playful manner. he tried to hit you back, but you dodged, right before your chair tipped backwards and you fell. “guess you could say i fell for you— ow!” then your head got hit, not as lightly by sae. “don’t say stuff like that.”

you faked a sulk for the rest of the time he was there, maybe he’d feel bad for you and kiss you or something. “you gonna keep pouting?” he asked, “yeah. maybe you should leave, you’re ruining my vibe with all this negativity!” you didn’t really mean that, but of course he thought that. sae really didn’t get social cues. “wait! i didn’t actually mean that—” then he shut the door. now you were actually sulking. stupid sae…didn’t even give you a kiss either.

it was day 2 of your plan, you bought a cute little seagull plush keychain and wrote a note to go with it. it read “hey, handsome! just wanna say, you’re a bit dense for not even getting one clue. but keep it up! i believe in ya!” maybe he’d get that ‘handsome’ was something that you’d often say to him…yeah probably not. it was a stretch. you did the same thing, go to school a bit early, put the things and his locker and pretend nothing happened. a part of you wanted this to continue, but the other didn't. there was an urge to tell him you liked him and get it over with. but where was the fun in that?

as you sat in class, you finished your test, which was fairly easy. but you seemed to zone out after that, your mind occupied on how to get sae to realize that it was you. the thought got you frustrated, but pumped out as you wondered what sae's reaction would be to your note. after class, there was a few minutes before the next teacher came in. "hey." sae said as he sat next to you, "soo...what'd ya think?" nudging him playfully with your elbow, his expression nonchalant as ever. "about...?" he asked, "about the test, silly! you think you passed?" he had to be fairly confident, i mean you helped him out. "uh, sure. it was kinda easy." he dismissed it, as always. "it's totally cause i helped you out, right? right?" you teased, "...right, whatever you say."

something seemed to be on sae's mind. maybe it was about the notes. your suspicions were confirmed when he said something, "i got another note today," he mentioned, his expression puzzled. you couldn't contain your excitement as you took the note from him and examined it before giving it back, "wow, another one huh?" you remarked casually, trying to conceal your eagerness. "what's it say?" you asked, your breath hitching in your throat. sae shrugged, clearly confused by the note's contents. "it's just… encouraging me to pay more attention to things," he replied, his brow furrowing in confusion. you tried to avoid yourself from smiling inwardly, knowing that your plan was working. "maybe they're trying to help you out," you suggested playfully, hoping he would catch on to your subtle hints.

despite your frustration, you found it impossible to not admire how clueless sae was, it was adorable, in its own irritating way. you tried to drop hints and flirtatious comments, but he seemed to brush them off without a second thought as you just "joking". but as much as you wanted to reveal the truth, there was a part of you that hesitated. what if sae didn't feel the same way? what if it ruined the friendship you had worked so hard to build? despite all this, you didn't want to give up either. you were so deep into this already.

so, for the rest of every period, your gaze remained fixed to him. thinking on how to confess to him, also admiring him. after a bit of thinking, midterms were the day after sae’s birthday, unfortunately. must suck, must suck even harder because all club activities were canceled for the rest of the week due to midterms too! but, there was a good part to it too, maybe he won’t focus so much on football. after school, before he was going to walk home, you called out his name.

“sae! wait up!” he turned around to see you jogging to him, “what?” sae snapped at you, not too rudely though, a bit annoyed he couldn’t be alone. “you wanna come over to my house to study for midterms? cmon, i know you’re not learning anything in class, as always!” you could see him be reluctant before sighing. “fine, but not today. i’m busy.” fair enough, it was fine, as long as if you got to confess to him on his birthday. “you better not be saying that so you can play football!” you turned to look at him and you saw he was avoiding your gaze. “you’re totally obsessed…” not like you could say anything. you were pretty much obsessed with football too (and him), but not as much.

the atmosphere was kinda awkward after that, so you decided to say something, “did you get another clue to who that person was?” you asked casually, trying to read his expression. “not yet,” he admitted, “but i know it’s someone closer to me. how else would they know seagulls were my favorite animal?” he wondered holding up the keychain, admiring it a bit in the light. “you gonna keep it?” you looked at the keychain as well, hoping he said yes, “yeah, it’s pretty cute. i don’t want to throw something like this away either.” you eyes naturally set on the way his lips curled up ever so slightly, the way his hair fell on his face and caught the sunlight. your face flushed as you scrambled to look away. if you didn’t realize it before, but now was when you realized how much you actually liked him.

“so, this one’s different, huh?” you tried to change the subject, “what do you mean ‘different’?” he asked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity. you fumbled for words, as you thought about if he caught you staring or not, “i mean, normally you throw out any gift and reject every person…what’s so different now?” you swallowed nervously, hoping your words didn't come off too blunt. "i just meant... well, you usually don't keep stuff like this. but this time, you're actually considering it," you explained, trying to sound nonchalant. sae nodded slowly, seeming to think about your observation. "yeah, I guess you're right. It's just... different," he admitted, his gaze shifting to the keychain in his hand. he beat you to saying something else before you could, “it’s like, they’re close to me, right under my fingertip and i want to know who.”

“yeah?” you smiled at him again, admiring his features once more. “hey, hypothetically, if the person was a guy, would you care?” you asked on a whim, “i guess...not really." he replied with a shrug. "why do you ask?" you shrugged nonchalantly, but secretly felt relieved. at least he wouldn't out right reject you. trying to keep your nerves at bay, you tried to justify yourself, "just curious, y'know? it's interesting to think about." sae nodded in agreement, but you could sense a hint of suspicion in his gaze. it made you wonder if he was starting to suspect something, if he was beginning to piece together the puzzle of his secret admirer.

you waved him goodbye as he walked into his house. tomorrow was the weekend, so you couldn't outright give him anything, but you'd still hint at it when he came over to your house to study. that night, you tossed and turned in bed, partly from the thought of confessing, but also how good he looked on the walk back to his house. you rolled around in bed, almost like a middle school girl in a shojo. it wasn't your best of times, but you refrain from the thought of him, and him piecing together the puzzle had you biting your bottom lip in nervousness and excitement.

when saturday came, you paced back and forth in your room, thinking of what to say and do when he came. you felt pretty damn tired, too from last night, barely got a wink of sleep. you mumbled 'don't screw this up' over and over again when you heard a knock at the door. "sae! you made it!" you said with a sigh of relief, at least he didn't ditch you to watch game footage or anything like that, "yeah, i did." you tried to go in for a hug but he quickly dismissed that.

after an hour or so of studying, you got bored so you decided to hint what you were doing for his birthday. “sae, your birthday’s coming up right? october 10th?” you tried to put in the conversation casually, “yeah, why?” he looked at you with some suspicion, "i'm just asking. but, i'm sure you'd love me for my gift" a small, yet cocky smirk crept onto your face, "don't you mean i'd love 'it'?" he expressed, some more suspicion in his tone, "oh no, i know what i meant, you're gonna love me." he sighed in defeat, he knew there was no point in pushing it further.

so, that's basically how it went for the next few days. him being stupidly oblivious, you trying to drop the hint even further. you got nowhere, on wednesday, the day before his birthday, you decided to give him a flower. not an overly big bouquet, you'd probably save that for the actual confession, instead, you opted for a single flower. it was a flower he'd seen before, and that you knew he liked. there was a vase with a single flower in your room, his eyes consistently focused on it. it was a light pink hydrangea, it was beautiful, so you understood why he stared at it often. maybe he'd understand then. you decided to take the one that was in your room, when he came over that day, maybe he'd ask why the vase was empty and get the god damn hint already,

as per usual, you went early, dropped the gift off, and went off. there wasn't any note this time, as you were kinda sick of writing them. plus, the big day was tomorrow, you'd save every pent up emotion for then. you waited for him in the courtyard, when you spotted him in the courtyard examining the flower you went up to greet him. "hey, sae! looks like you got a flower now, huh?" you wrapped an arm around his shoulder to break him out of his trance, "yeah. this is the same flower that's in your room, right?" at least he got the hint, you pretended to study it for a bit before replying, "hm, yeah, it is. funny ain't it? maybe they know you really well." you looked at sae to gauge his expression, he did a simple nod and kept his blank expression. you clenched your fists in frustration as sae brushed off your flirtatious comment, a knot forming in your stomach. whatever, he'd have another shot when he went to your house anyway.

you were right, because when he went to your room, he noticed the empty vase immediately. "the flower is missing." he pointed out, "gave it to someone real special" you looked at him as you said that, "it was a nice flower, you should've gave it to me...but i can't really complain if they're that special to you..." you were instictively drawn to the way sae's expression softened when he talked about the flower, a hint of vulnerability shining through his normally neutral face.

you stared at him in a 'are you serious?' look. well yeah, you did give it to him, and he was special, "sorry, was that rude?" sae took note of your expression, "oh no no, it's something else," you quickly went back to focusing, "let's just cram for midterms" you muttered, hoping to divert the conversation away from your failed attempt at dropping another hint. you couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment that sae didn't seem to catch on to your subtle gestures. but you pushed those feelings aside and focused on studying for midterms.

nothing special happened, just some plain ol' cramming. but, you failed to focus on it. all your thoughts went to the day tomorrow. the thought had you feeling all sorts of emotions. sae noticed your unusual quietness and said something on the matter, "is something wrong? you're being awfully quiet." you felt yourself tense up, "just nervous for midterms...don't wanna fail...haha..." you made a pathetic excuse of a lie, he narrowed his eyes a bit, trying to examine your actions before ultimately deciding to drop it. at a desperate attempt to change the subject you decided to point something out that you noticed, "hey, the bracelets you normally wear, you don't wear them anymore," you pointed out, "oh, i lost them. hadn't gotten the chance to get new ones." you kept that in mind, you'd probably get him a new bracelet for his birthday.

you could barely sleep that night, you stayed up thinking what'd you say, do, act. everything had to be perfect, it probably wouldn't end up that way, but you tried your best. a voice popped up in your head that made you not even want to confess in the first place. it said the same things that made you reluctant before, 'what if he didn't like me back? what if i ruined our friendship?' what if this and that. but what if he actually liked you back, and everything turned out even better than you hoped? every thought was about the next day, it made your head spin. after a bit of staying up, you realized being all tired and having eye backs wasn't cute and a good look for a confession, so you forced yourself to sleep.

on the morning of sae's birthday, you woke up with a flurry of emotions swirling inside you. today was the day you would finally reveal your feelings to him. you couldn't focus on anything else, not even the midterms the next day. every thought was consumed by sae and the confession that awaited. as the day progressed, you found it increasingly difficult to contain your excitement. you kept glancing at the clock, counting down the hours until you could see sae and tell him how you felt. It felt like time was moving at a snail's pace, each minute dragging on endlessly. you went to his locker and put in the last note, 'meet me at the rooftop at 7:30'. it was short and straight to the point, no cryptic messages or hints.

you stood at the rooftop, your back leaning on the railing. your palms felt sweaty and you could hear your heartbeat get louder. your mind was full of feelings you wanted to get out. you were looking up at the sky to get your mind off of everything. the scenery was beautiful, you were lost in it until you heard the sound of the door opening, and there you saw him. the man you've liked since forever. his face was a mix of a lot of emotions, it was hard to read, to be honest.

as sae stepped onto the rooftop, the setting sun casting a warm glow around him, your heart skipped a beat. you felt the breath get sucked out of your lungs, he looked stunning, more than usual, actually. "hey, sae," you began, your voice trembling slightly with nervousness but filled with anticipation. "i'm so glad you actually came." his eyes widened in surprise, his gaze flickering between you and the breathtaking view spread out before him. "it was you?" he breathed, his voice tinged with disbelief. you chuckled nervously, your fingers fidgeting with the delicate bracelet you had carefully chosen for him.

"surprise…? if it wasn't obvious enough…" you paused, your heart pounding in your chest as you took a step closer to him. "there's something I've been wanting to tell you," you confessed, your voice soft but determined. with trembling hands, you slipped the bracelet onto his wrist, the cool metal contrasting with the warmth of his skin. "i really like you, sae," you whispered, your gaze locked with his. "it's been this way for a while, but I never had the chance to say anything." you reached out, presenting him with the bouquet of pale pink hydrangeas, their soft petals illuminated by the fading light. "these are for you," you said softly, a shy smile playing on your lips.

taking in a deep breath, you continued, your voice filled with sincerity and vulnerability. "i've been dropping hints since the beginning of time and i was hoping you'd catch on, but i realized i had to take matters into my own hands. i needed to tell you how i felt eventually. sae's eyes softened as he listened to your heartfelt confession, his expression shifting from surprise to something warmer, something more tender. "i…i didn't realize," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "i never knew you felt this way." you took a step closer, your heart pounding in your ear with anticipation as you reached your hand out to gently cup his cheek.

"i've been waiting for this moment for so long..." you admitted, your voice barely audible over the soft rustle of the breeze, "to finally tell you how much you meant to me. so please, can i be your boyfriend?" you gazed directly into his eyes, waiting for the dreadful answer. as you waited for sae's response, the tension in the air seemed to thicken, every passing moment feeling like an eternity. sae's gaze softened as he took in your confession, his eyes reflecting a mixture of surprise, uncertainty, and something else you couldn't quite place. you held your breath, your heart pounding in your chest as you awaited his answer.

finally, after what felt like an eternity, sae's lips curled into a gentle smile, a warmth spreading across his features. "know that i know how you feel, i don't want to waste anymore time." your heart skipped a beat as you felt a surge of hope and anticipation wash over you. could it be…? "sae," you whispered, your voice barely audible over the gentle hum of the wind, "what do you mean?" a soft chuckle escaped sae's lips as he took a step closer to you, his eyes sparkling with newfound clarity and determination. "i mean… i want to be more than just friends," he confessed, his voice steady and sure. "i want to be with you, too."

you felt excited and shocked and every other emotion there was out there. you uttered a single word, "really?" your heart felt like it was about to explode out of joy. sae nodded, his smile widening as he leaned in closer, his forehead resting against yours. "really," he whispered, his breath warm against your skin. "i've been blind for so long, but now that i see… i don't want to let you go." you wanted to cry, that's what. "you're so stupid for not seeing this...i never want to let you go too..." your voice trembled, you sniffled while saying it too.

"i'm sorry. i really am." he admitted, and without another word sae closed the distance between you two. time stopped, it was as simple as that. everything went to a halt as you tried to process what happened. the kiss was sweet and simple, just as you two liked it. in that moment, surrounded by the soft glow of the setting sun and the gentle rustle of the breeze, everything else faded away, leaving only the two of you lost in the sweetness of the moment. you pulled away after what felt like ages.

"happy birthday sae," you said softly, your voice at a barely audible level. "you're right, i did love you for this gift. thanks for everything." he smiled, his face totally different from his usual unemotional look. "no problem and," you held your breath for the next words you were about to say, "i love you." you felt at peace, you finally said what you've always wanted to say, "i love you too."

#Ragequit

Synopsis: They hear you say the most outrageous, uncensored, vulgar, out-of-hand, scandalous, disgraceful, atrocious things while raging playing games.

Warnings: Not proofread, vulgar language(?), fake threats (NO DEATH THREATS, I DON'T CONDONE THAT), suggestive 😨😨 (I warned you it was atrocious)

Note: These are all real things quoted by my friend, @dewwberry. I'm being fr right now

Featuring: Micheal Kaiser, Sae Itoshi, Rin Itoshi, Yoichi Isagi x GN! reader

Micheal Kaiser

"Sweetheart, are you done with the computer?" You peek your head into the room, watching his gaze melt when you enter the room. Kaiser turns his chair to face you, arms instinctively reaching out to hold you by the waist. You get his message, straddling yourself onto his comfortable lap.

"Mhm," Kaiser releases his gentle grasp on you, allowing you to shift around and face the computer. "Playing games, eh?" Kaiser whispers to you, fingers traveling to your hips as he rests his chin on your shoulder. You nod, "I've been bored all day and you've done nothing but work so..."

"Let me watch then," Kaiser hums, leaning back to give you space. Cracking your knuckles, you excitedly drum your fingers against the table as your favorite game loads in.

You hear congratulatory whistles from the man behind you every time you got a headshot, pulling your hair out of your face whenever it bothers you. Honestly, it felt more like he was staring at your focused expression than the game itself. He couldn't help but tease you, a cheeky grin forming on his face when his hands travel from your waist down to your hips and rested comfortably on your thighs.

An irritated groan escapes you when you die again due to the same guy, smashing your mouse against the mouse pad, "I'm gonna shoot your house down," You continue to swerve your mouse around, unaware of your boyfriend, absolutely stunned by your words. (He's played games with you... what have you said about him without him knowing?)

Normally, he would laugh his ass off at you dying again

"Yeah, that's right, eat my ass!" You jump in your seat, a victorious cheer escaping you the moment you kill off the last guy. Kaiser blinks at your sudden words, eyes widening when you innocently type in an innocent 'gg!!' in the chat.

You turn your head to him, a satisfied look on your face. Tilting your head, you asked, "Something wrong?" Kaiser recovers from his shock, a frown on his face. "You can't go saying that to strangers, Meine Liebe. I only want to hear you saying that to me."

Kaiser feels an elbow nudge him, a flustered face looking back at him. Don't expect to receive an apology though, he was 100% serious about what he said.

Sae Itoshi

Normally, Sae would expect his lovely significant other to greet him home with warm arms and a kiss - especially after a long trip away from home. It's been so many nights and days since he was in your arms, he'd really love to receive a good hug from you right now.

However, all he received when he opened the door was the sound of gunshots and ecstatic shouting. Almost instantly, he knew you were on that game again. Sighing, he closes the door. All the sounds he made were drowned out purely by how loud the game was.

Softly opening the door, he looked inside the room. A small smile unconsciously forms on his face, watching you with a competitive grin on your face. Judging by your expression, you seemed to be winning by a landslide.

Leaning back on your chair, cheers erupt from you and your teammates as the game ends. "Hold up, let me get some snacks," Your teammate says, typing 'afk' in the chat.

"Hm, I'm craving Sae's lollipop." Sae's smile twists into a stare of disbelief, jaw dropping. Did you really... really just say that out loud?

Sudden gunshots ensue as you arch your back to lean forward to your computer. Urgently clicking on your keyboard whilst you run away from the players chasing you down, "(Teammate name), get back here and help me! Ohmydaysohmydays,"

"AAA, you better stop shooting me or else I'm going to shoot your whole family down!" You scream at the computer, "I hope both sides of your pillow are warm tonight!"

You feel a hand press against your forehead suddenly, stealing your attention away from the computer as you blink incessantly at your husband. "Oh, Sae! You're home, already?" Your aggressive tone dissipates as if it never even existed - you completely switched characters.

"...Are you sick?" Your fingers glide around Sae's hand against your forehead, feeling around your face and shaking your head. You hear sad music from your computer and your attention returns to the computer, "Fuck, I died."

Sae's hand cups your cheek, fingers digging into your skin a little harder than you'd prefer. His hand snaps your neck to gaze back at him. He rests his forehead against yours for a few seconds, closing his eyes. Your lips part for a moment, in awe of the man you married in front of you.

Sae suddenly breaks the tension, standing back up. "If you're not physically sick, you have to be mentally sick for saying that." You scoff dramatically even though you had a grin planted on your face, turning your chair back to face the computer. Reviving yourself, you won the round in a short amount of time, your mouth zipped shut.

He smirked in response to your new attitude, playing along, "That's my girl." You replied to his comment with a good jab to his side.

Rin Itoshi

Being quite competitive himself, he loved to play games with you. He's had his fair share of matches with you and I can 100% assure you he says the most barbaric, diabolical things. He was dragged into Roblox because of you and you made fun of him for losing to a bunch of 9-year-olds.

He would bet a lot of things whenever the both of you play games. Little arguments and disagreements like who would choose where to eat would always be settled with games. It was a boost of pride for him whenever he saw your defeated face, pouting and huffing for a rematch.

His favorite games are when the both of you can work as a team (2 player princess tycoon). An involuntary smile appears on his face whenever the both of you win, insisting that he carried the team to victory. For some reason though, he can only play as a team with you. He only takes orders from you and hates being told what to do by Isagi or Bachira.

"The last one is running over to your side, they should be low right now," Rin comments to you, who is calling him over the phone.

"Come here, Pookie!" You grin as you begin to chase the person, not noticing Rin's disgusted glare at you. "As long as you get him, I don't care what you call him," He rolls his eyes. Despite what Rin had retorted, you had always been the one calling him Pookie so it soured his mood a little to hear you call someone that.

Once you shoot off the last person, a bright victory banner appears on both of your screens. "RAHHH, big daddy wins again!" You exclaim, stretching.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he seems almost disappointed with your antics. "I'm coming over," You let out an audible 'huh' at his sudden declaration. "W- what? Why?" The notification that he left the server does nothing but confirm that he's actually on his way.

After a lot of shuffling and background noise, Rin replied "To shut you up." What a lame excuse to come over and hang out, right? You giggle at his words, leaving the server and lifting yourself up to your feet, and fishing out your keys. Judging by the background, you guess that Rin's already close by.

Opening the door for him and leaning against the frame of it, you question, "And, how will you do that?" Out of nowhere, Rin appears in your line of vision, a hand on your chin as he gives you a passionate kiss. After he breathlessly breaks the kiss, he wraps his arm around your waist, "I'll shut you up like this."

Yoichi Isagi

Isagi had gone out to buy snacks a while ago, noticing how you haven't eaten all morning because you were too preoccupied with your game. The moment he returned home, he could hear your yells and he deduced that you still haven't gotten off that game.

"Ohmygosh, he picked me up!??!" You yelled out loud which made Isagi's movements come to a halt for a second... what kind of game were you playing now? He feels chills slither down his spine, shivers rushed through him whilst he pieces together memories of you buying this love simulator game on a whim.

"I love being held by men, especially Isagi," He heard a giddily sweet giggle from the room, making his cheeks heat up when your words repeat in his head like a broken record. He hears the voice of another woman - probably from the game judging by how... dramatic it sounded.

"You... I...!" The woman from the game blurted, "This isn't over! I'll be back. He's mine, you better watch your back." It sounded like a classic mean girl.

Isagi hears another prideful laugh, entering the room just as you state the most repulsive, foul, vile thing ever, "HAHA, suck on my big fat juicy nuts."

You hear the creak of the door, snapping your head over and covering your mouth to stifle your gasp. An awkward moment of deafening silence burns this moment into your memory, you feel your gut twist in a bad way.

You bury your flushed face in your palms in shame, profuse apologies slipping from your lips. "Aha, that's certainly not the thing I expected to hear when entering a room," Isagi plays it off, having experienced a lot of embarrassing moments in front of you too.

He looks at your screen, seeing an avatar that somewhat resembles him and another avatar that resembles you. Isagi laughs, patting your back when you curl yourself up into a ball and hug your knees to your chest.

"I mean... they're sort of cute together?" Isagi mentions. You scream internally, chiding yourself. "Isagi, sweetie, as much as I appreciate your effort, you aren't helping."

You feel warm fingers slowly graze your cheek, lifting your head up to return his gaze. His maneuvers are smooth, slowly tucking your hair behind your ear and leaning in for a deep kiss. You see him step back - almost too early to your liking. Your finger pats your lips, still registering the kiss you got.

"Your new chapstick tastes good," You see Isagi lick his lips before bending down for another kiss, holding your hand by the wrist out of his way.

"Did that make you feel better?" He grins, a rosy pink adorning his cheeks, content with your nod.

"We're over... "

♥︎Blue lock boys and how they deal with their relationship breaking♥︎

Bachira continues a light facade. You want to break up with him? Yeah, he heard you. He knows what's going on. You want to end things? He's starting to distance himself and communication is failing. Okay, fine. Try to survive without his hoodies. Want one more night of fun before you two end things? It's only when you've packed your bags, and he's all alone again that he breaks. There's no one beside him, and it's all his fault.

Reo goes straight to aggression and denial. He can't win you back then he wants you out of his sight. He's already packed your things, separated your things and his, he makes sure the your home looks like a ghost of what it used to. He wants all traces of you gone, he wants you gone. At night, he holds the ring he planned to propose with against his chest and swallows his cries in your once joyful bedroom. He doesn't need you, he repeats again and again, and he doesn't want you.

Nagi plays the fool. Okay, so you two are over? You're tired of having to force him to do this and go on dates, yeah, he understands. Does that mean you two can't go out together? Does that mean he has to move out? Help you move out? That's too much work, just stay together. He's been forcing himself along the entire time, what's the problem? Why are you crying? Why are you leaving him? Why does he feel so hurt? He tries to sink into the couch, relax, but he aches for you. What can he do?

Rin gets what he wants in the worst way. He knows he's been obsessing over soccer. Knows that he's pushed you to second again and again and again. You're not happy with your relationship, then leave. Oh, you're leaving, of course you are. Everyone does. Go on, pack your bags. He likes it better when there's quiet at home instead of your incessant whining. The house is too quiet though. He keeps looking at your spot in the stadium. For the first time in years, all he can focus on is soccer. For the first time, it's not enough.

Chigiri lets his melanchy overwhelm. You can't deal his cynicism then leave. Want to fix the problems in his relationships. You're bothering. Want to be by his side? How dare you? It would be better if you left him alone. He hates how you're always by his side like a goddamn parasite- you drain his energy like one too. When you leave, no one cheers encouraging things at him anymore. No one checks up on him. No one brightens his day like you did. His leg aches, it's far from the worst pain he's feeling.

Sae pushes you away. You were always getting too close, seeing something under his perfectly made mask that no one else did. It infuriates him, he can't have anyone seeing all his cracks and fractures. His disgusting imperfections. You're pushing him away now- good- that's what he wanted. If he needed a warm bed, he would ask his thousands of groupies anyway. The house is cold and no one is there to see how hideous he is. All his fears and insecurities are locked in him again. His heart refreezes, and he shivers when he gets into bed without your warmth. This is what he gets for falling in love.

LOVE ME TOO.

in which your whole life you waited for rin itoshi to love you back, but when he leaves you his brother comes into scene

word count: 4k

warnings: angst, f!reader, brief mention of suicide, some swearing i think, nswf parts but nothing too explicit

(au in which blue lock doesn't exist)

sorry for eventual mistakes, i'm not a native english speaker. this was written at 2am and it was definitely not proofread :))

their mother always joked saying you were destined to marry one of her sons. to her, it wasn't clear which one, but to you it could only ever be your dark-haired best friend.

yes, you were rin itoshi's best friend: you were regarded of the honor to be called his "friend". every friday evening, as if it was an appointment, you sat at the dinner table of the itoshi house. every friday, since you were fourteen, rin, sae and their mother would chat and talk about whatever things with you.

well, sae didn't talk that much - with anyone, actually, but rin's mother considered you a treasure, and a "saint for being able to stand rin 24/7", and while putting on a grumpy expression whenever she said that, rin thought that of you too.

he was grateful that you would spend the night at his house at any given opportunity, even when you turned sixteen and people didn't see it as 'appropriate' anymore, that you would sit with him at lunch when no one else wanted to, that you would help him train even if you couldn't hold a ball for more than two seconds without making it fall on the ground.

he had no idea. of how everything you did with him, was because your heart burnt with hopeless love. because everytime you looked at him you felt like you could have spent the rest of your life with yours tied to his, like you would have stabbed yourself to have just one faint touch of his lips onto yours.

but he didn't notice, even when you turned seventeen and he should have been more mature, more considerate of these things. that's what you thought when your friend, one of your girl classmates, told you it's crystal clear to anyone that you were head over heels for itoshi rin.

then how, you told yourself, how is he the only one who's blind in front of such supposed evidence?

there were times, like when you were watching a movie on his bed, sitting so close to each other you could hear his heartbeat into your ears and you felt like dying, or when you couldn't bear with the amount of school work you had and he hugged you while you cried on his shoulder, or when he would hold your hand with so much kindness and thoughtfullness that you would think it'd be impossible for him not to reciprocate your feelings, or at least acknowledge their existence.

but months passed by and you kept sticking together, just as "buddies", hugging and play-fighting and holding hands but just as friends. you felt your heart like a flower that was slowly withering, despite this you kept holding on to that faint hope that one day maybe, maybe, he could finally watch you with eyes filled with love. just like your own eyes did when you were together.

so, when you were nineteen ("we're elders now, rin! don't you feel old?) and your high school class organized a goodbye party with lots of alcohol and smoke and even drugs ("fuck we're going there, i won't let you walk around with all that weed around" "come ooon rin, you're no fun!"), and the bottle landed right on the both of you, heads blurred by the drinks, your heart did a backflip in your chest. you weren't really present at that moment, and rin mustn't have been either, because you leaned into a passionate make out session, not just a kiss.

step by step, while your classmates laughed and cheered, rin placed a hand on your esposed skin on your hip and guided you to a random bedroom, forgetting where and who you were with.

he really didn't know what he was doing, and you didn't either. it must have been the alcohol for rin, but can he really blame it all on the drinks?

things went how they had to go, and you found yourself awake the next morning, fully naked, next to the dark-haired boy. you almost cried of joy. because you waited all your life to see him lay on your side, sheets covering his naked body, a peaceful resting expression on his pretty face. you felt like if they killed you right then, you would've died happier than ever.

that's why, when he breaks the news to you, after weeks of not saying a word of what you two had spent together, you feel your world being ripped apart.

he's heading off to france. tomorrow. to play with a football team in paris.

"it's the opportunity of my life," he tells you, excitement filling his teal eyes, "i can't miss it for absolutely no reason."

you're included in those reasons, you guess. and as you simply nod, you sense a boulder weighing in your lungs and in your stomach and in your heart. because for you, he would be an enough reason to stay in japan. but evidently, to rin you didn't mean as much as you thought.

with watering eyes, you leave his house with a weak goodbye falling from your trembling lips, leaving him all alone in his room.

the next day, you're not at the airport to greet him.

-♡-

even after a couple of years though, you didn't fall apart as you expected the two of you to. you still hold a grudge at him for leaving you on your own in japan like you were just someone and not his best friend – if you could still call yourselves that after whatever had happened. it's been three years since rin left to play for paris' football club, and now his name is known in all of france, topping every chart in the french league, while you keep studying at university.

you are so proud of him. you talk to him via message every time he plays, congratulating your best friend.

is he really still your best friend though? yes, you still contact each other almost every day, but now he feels so cold and distant, like a shadow you struggle to touch from afar. you feel like rin is making his own life in france, with you not being on the picture.

does he have the same feelings for you as he used to? does he even miss you?

you guess he can be called your first heartbreak, your one and only.

you snork painfully as you think this, looking at the goodnight text you sent him the night before. he hasn't read it. you're walking along the familiar sidewalk, heading for the itoshi house.

you don't actually want to go visit rin's mother, but your mom insisted that you would bring her a few cookies you had cooked the other day. she said it was to thank her for everytime she hosted you at hers, and while you agree, you don't feel like going back to your lost crush's house is going to benefit you, y'know?

oh, if you are wrong.

you understand immediatly that the quick visit you are planning to make will take an unexpected turn when you see sae itoshi sitting on the sofa, legs wide open and an arm on the handrest holding his chin. damn, you haven't seen him in so long! you and rin were barely teens when he flied to spain to pursue his football career. in fact, you realize, after spending all that time at rin's house, you don't know him at all.

embarassment floods over you. you greet him, a little afraid, because just like his younger brother, sae itoshi is able to send chills down with his coldness. before greeting back, sae looks at you from top to bottom, and you're sure he's thinking just the same you're thinking of him. you have changed.

that day, you discover him. to you, before, sae was just rin's older brother, a shadow that was at your best friend's home and that every once in a while came into his room to ask him something, or to complain about you two making too much chaos. to be completely honest, back then you found him annoying and too full of himself, like he considered himself too good to talk to people. his poker face never changed, and that proved your point: he was your best friend's arrogant older brother.

until today, you had never properly spoke to sae. you mostly asked him where something was or if he had seen rin, and he answered not moving his eyes away from his phone. today, though, you talk to him until it's late at night. you don't talk about important things, it's purely chatting; even so, you can't help but feel captivated by sae. you find out he's back in japan but only for a few months, because there's no championship in summer, and since he doesn't own a house here his mother was glad to host him.

when you're back in your room, under the covers, you rethink of how, that afternoon, you were able to make a soft chuckle come out of his lips. you feel a bubble pop inside your stomach as you replay that moment in your head, and you feel like you want to make him laugh again.

and you do. because from that day, you gradually come to the point in which you spend every free moment you have with the red-haired. may it be at his house, at yours, in his car, at a fast food, wherever and whenever, you can't stay away from him.

he attracts you, like rin did. sometimes you look into sae's eyes and it scares how much he reminds you of rin.

but sae is different. when you are with him, you feel like you're pulled into a warm hug, like you're a bird in its nest. for some reason, sae feels to you like the matching piece of your puzzle. with rin, you always had disagreements and you were different from each other. sae, on the other hand, is similar to you in almost every shape, and while he may look cold he acts like the kindest person on earth when he's with you.

you like it. how he shows his emotional side to you and you only, making you feel special. rin couldn't do that, he didn't make you feel unique and important.

sae has never felt what he feels right now towards anyone. you're the first person able to make his cheeks warm up, or to make his mouth dry. he only ever thinks about you, to the point where he's worried about his well-being; he lives exclusively to see your pretty face, with your shining eyes and your rich lips and your silky hair.

you brought a ray of sunshine into his monotone life. every moment he passes with you feels like a drug to him; he remembers every single one of them.

like the time you told him you didn't like your name at all, and he told you he thought it was the prettiest while looking straight into your eyes, but he wasn't completely talking about the name. or when, laying on his bed, things got pretty emotional and you were confessing things to the each other and you told him under you breath how you lost your virginity to his little brother and that you missed him like crazy. in that moment, he found himself getting mad at rin for treating you like you were a puppy, but also because he got to be with you and sae didn't. or once you played together with his playstation at fifa and he beat you like 7-1, but when you scored that single goal you raised your hands in the air and made the cutest expression, then you hugged him really thightly and he felt every cell in his body heat up.

you get used to his presence, surprisingly in a few months he becomes more meaningful to you than rin has in many years. sae showed you that the kind of love you had for his brother isn't the only one to exist – the one you felt for rin was a fire ready to burn yourself and him, consuming you from inside, needy and endless, while your feelings for sae are a drop of rain that slowly falls into a vase, making the most beautiful flower grow. his love heals the scars rin left you.

the dark-haired boy reaches out to you much less frequentely now, and when he does it's just to check on each other, no big deal. your friendship is frozen now. he probably has no idea you and his older brother are estabilishing this kind of relationship, though.

sometimes you feel guilty for having loved two brothers, like you are playing around with them. but everytime you reflect on it, you come to the conclusion you can't decide who you fall in love with. sae and rin have been two periods of your life, each useful for what you needed at the time. but sae is the present.

you're aware, though, that the idilliac present you're sharing with him is rapidly coming to an end: it's august, and the spanish league restarts in a short time.

you refuse to believe the boy you fell in love with is leaving you alone – once again. while you know he won't completely abandon you and will probably facetime every evening, you are absolutely not ready to experience the same things you once did. the emptiness into your chest, the uselessness of days without his presence, the constant thoughts in your head that tell you to just stop living like this, to stop living.

you know you can tell sae anything, so you talk about it with him. it's a rainy night and you agreed to stay at his place to "hang out". when you tell him your fears, he feels the urge to protect you. seeing you so shaky and vulnerable makes sae want to hold you in his arms and never ever let anyone hurt you again – may it even be his own brother. may it even be himself.

so he cups your cheeks in his hands and looks you straight into your eyes, promising you slowly he will never leave you alone. he promises it.

he's so close to you you can feel his breath on your face, but he's close to your soul too. you feel your hearts united, tied with a string, for the first time since you've met him. and even though you've only known sae for a couple months, even though he'll leave japan soon, even though it could be wrong in someone else's eyes, you close the distance between you two and press your lips on his.

sae reacts slowly, softly, pulling you closer to him with an hand on your back as if he's afraid of hurting you. the kiss you share is sweet, tender, full of all the feelings the two of you felt during this summer. you're like two butterflies embrassingly colliding.

sae stops only to look at you, once again, in the eyes. he loves looking into your eyes, but he certainly loves you more. so he tells you. so you tell him you do too.

his eyes don't leave yours even when, a few days later, you're laying on his bed, back arching with pleasure as you two consume your relationship for the first time. sae's gaze stays chained to your shining eyes, because he's afraid that if he'll look away all of this will disappear in front of him. like this is all an amazing dream and if he blinks, he'll wake up.

it's not a dream though, and he realizes this is very much reality when you're sitting next to sae on the plane, flying to madrid. sae's hand is intertwined with yours, because you've never been on a plane and this shit is scary.

you've never left japan. and now, not only you're leaving everything you've known in your life behind your back, but you're also doing that with a boy you've known for barely three months.

yes, it may look like a risky choice, but it would have been way worse for the both of you if sae had gone back to madrid on his own. you've known each other for a short period of time, it's true, but you felt like you've loved each other since ever.

since rin left you, you understood life is too fleety to let opportunities pass past you. so once you saw sae handing over to you a chance of starting over, you caught it with both hands.

and here you are, standing in the most beautiful and luxurious apartment you've ever seen. you think what they pay sae per month is more than you would ever earn in a whole life.

as you admire the view of the spanish city from the house's window, sae places his hands around your waist and sinks his head in the crease of your neck. his hair tickles you, but you stay like this for moments that seem like hours, just the two of you, floating in your own ocean.

as weeks go by, you start to enter the rhythm of sae's life. he trains everyday, from morning to late afternoon, so you barely see him during the day. he doesn't ever make you feel neglected though, as every moment he is not training he turns all his attention to you, cuddling, playing, watching tv, eating together.

you insert in the busy life of the capital of spain too. you explore every single corner of the city, shopping from the most expensive shops you've heard (yes, with your boyfriend's credit card).

sae always invites you to his matches, making you sit in the vip section of the stadium. you have to stay there with other players' partners, and you don't really like them. they seem a little too fake to you.

but it doesn't matter; you can stand sitting next to the most irritating girl in the world if that means watching your lover play.

you coming to see him play means a lot to sae, too. when he notices you in the crowd, he suddendly feels like he's invincible. he starts to play with the heart, and people notice that. fans notice his playstyle has changed over the summer, but they cannot explain why. they can't explain why he lives football with much more enthusiasm now either. for example, he even celebrates scoring a goal now! he runs all the way down the pitch and points at something, or someone, in the stands. it's not clear what he's pointing at.

the someone always blushes, but nobody sees her.

-♡-

not much distant from there, rin itoshi is not living so well.

the boy hasn't heard from you since months. normally, you wouldn't let a few weeks pass by without texting him. rin doesn't know why, but he feels so empty.

he'd text you, he'd really do, if it wasn't for his stupid massive ego. he doesn't want to admit that he actually has the need to talk to you, and that you're hurting him with your silence.

he finds out from your instagram that you've moved to madrid, out of nowhere appearently. but you haven't told him, he found out on his own.

for all these years, you've always been the first to out to him, and it made him feel safe knowing that you still thought about him. he's selfish, he knows it, but you're the only fixed point in his life. the only thing he's sure will never leave, even if he acts like the disgusting person he is.

but now? rin's never felt you more distant. and he knows it's all his fault, he knows you should've done that ages before, but now that the actual consequences of his actions are starting to come to light, he feels guilt investing him.

throughout the teenage years you spent together, the boy has always been confused about his feelings. he couldn't tell whether what he felt towards you was platonic or actual love. he knew about your love for him, but he didn't feel like he could give you what you needed even if he wanted to. so, during the infamous party, rin tried to shut his brain off and that led him to sleep with you. and then, he was so overwhelmed by the immensity of what was happening with you he couldn't think of a rational solution. he did like you, but his future was already planned: he was going abroad to play football, become the best football player in the world, surpass even his brother, and then retire in an isolated, luxurious island. as much as he liked you, rin knows you have no place in a life like this; he didn't want you to suffer like he did when sae left to spain, therefore he decided to be as cold as he could to you. this way, you wouldn't have missed him that much.

at least that's what his messed up mind thought. now he realizes what he did was the dumbest move ever made by a person, and remorse fills him.

should he have told you that he actually liked you that night? that he was just afraid of engaging in something too big for him? should he have left you like that?

rin's mind is filled with whats and ifs. all he can think of are the past moments he spent with you, and how he should have made them last longer.

is this what it feels to miss someone? rin thinks to himself, wide awake at night. he rarely sleeps, as the regrets and overthinking keep him awake, and it's worsening his results in football.

nothing could go more wrong in his existence.

one day, he just gets tired of it. rin decides it's time to take control of his life, so he just dives into the next mistake – or maybe the next success.

"hey, book me a flight for madrid"

-♡-

in madrid, there's a couple sitting on a lonely bench. there's no one in sight, it's just the two of them. they're hugging, kissing, they're whispering honey-like words into each other's eyes.

everytime you tell yourself that couple is you and your boyfriend, you get surprised. because there's no way you're actually with the sae itoshi. he feels so much like a dream to you.

even if you're not the best football player in the world or whatever, you feel to sae just the same.

so there you are, immersed in your shared dream, under the sunset that makes sae's cheeks turn even more red. the breeze messes up all his hair, he's so cute you want to die. you pinch his puffed cheeks, making him complain saying he's not a baby, but you just hug him thighter and mutter on his hoodie you're really hungry for ice cream.

sae takes your hand and makes you stand up, telling you you're heading for the closest ice cream shop. you give him a kiss on the cheek out of happiness and start walking with him.

but as you walk, you freeze at the sight of an old acquaintance.

destiny sure is cruel, isn't it? it separates two people whose lives were supposed to be tied together only to make them meet again in the worst time. that's all you can think while you look into the teal eyes you used to love so much.

rin is standing right in front of you. after years of half-conversations and silence, he's standing right in front of you.

your jaw drops instinctively. the corners of rin's mouth turn up, warming you with an overly familiar smile. that smile brings to the surface thoughts and feeling you had buried years ago. you don't want those feelings to see daylight, not when your boyfriend is standing right next to you, unsure on his legs.

sae has always been certain of one thing: he can surpass rin in everything. but now, as he senses your grip on his hand loosen, he feels the world as he's always known it crumble under his feet.

YOU'RE THE DISGUSTING ONE.

sae x fem! reader part 2!!!

ANGST

a little ooc idk

Not proofread

THANK U ANON FOR THE IDEAA🫶🫶🫶

Being home again was different without you. Without you being there to constantly berate and annoy, Sae felt different. After Sae put more thought into it, he missed you. He missed you so much to the point that it was painful to think about never talking or seeing you again. Oh how fucking stupid he was saying all that shit to you and what was it even worst is you've blocked him on every app and website imaginable, he's tried to go to your house but no one would answer when he rang the doorbell. Sae would always think about you to the point where it sometimes would affect him during practice. He wanted to know how you were doing, but he couldn't ask anyone to check on you since the only person that was close to him and you was Rin, but know he feels nothing but spite for Sae. The more time went on, the more he realised that he was in love with you, deeply in love.

It was 2 years since Sae broke your heart, crushed it into a million pieces. Some of your friends thought you were overreacting and that you'll move on, like you ever could, you fucking adored Sae more then anyone else and then he starts acting like this cold, heartless bastard of a man, good god did it piss you off. You waited 4 years for him, you never flirted with other men, you never went out on date, you were loyal to him, yet he still trampled all over your heart. You cut all contact for him. You didn't want to hear his sad little sob story. You never wanted to see him again ever. But at last here you were, sitting beside him on the train going back to your house. You're pretty sure he didn't know you at first that until you saw him staring at you, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly agape. Sae knew this was you, but you were so different. You had an this worn-out look on your face. The look in your eyes were dull, showing no sign of emotion. Fuck. You changed so much. What the fuck has he done to you??? Sae was about to say something to you until he saw you get off at the next stop. Sae quickly got up after you. He wasn't going to let you slip through his fingers, not this time.

"Y/N." Sae blurrted out walking behind you, grabbing your arm so you could face him. "Y/N, I—" Sae was overwhelmed and didn't know what to say. It took him every fibre in his being, not to hug you to death.

"Sae, why are you following me?? Are you a fucking stalker or something???" You snarled back at him, your voice was so flat and monotone it felt like Sae was talking to a complete different person.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Y/N, please I know I fucked up, but shit I realised I need you in my life. I really need you." Sae was desperate. He needed you. He was acting so pathetic. It was shameful for him, but he'd do anything to have you back.

"Fuck off. You're acting like you all of a sudden you care about me, even though when a saw you after 4 years, you acted like I was some lowlife and you were above me." You scoffed, rolling your eyes. It hurt Sae to hear those words out of your mouth. Really really hurt him.

"Y/N— look, I'm really sorry, really— I'm so fucking sorry." Sae blurts, his lips now pressed into a frown. God my did he fuck everything up, he was stupid, so so stupid.

"Shut up, I don't wanna hear your stupid sob story, I couldn't give a fuck." You Sae, turning around so you walk away. "You're the disgusting one, Sae, you'll always will be." You started to walk off leaving Sae standing there his thoughts telling him to go after you again but he just couldn't bring himself. He really fucked up this time, probably beyond repair.

(idk if I like this or not😭😭😭)