Of Christmas Sweaters And Abominations

Of Christmas Sweaters and Abominations

Timothy Drake would like to shrink into a nearby crevice and never come out. Timothy Drake would like to sink into a lake and never surface. Timothy Drake would like to fight Harley Quinn with one hand tied behind his back. Timothy would like to do anything but have to stand in front of Wayne Enterprise’s associates in an ugly Christmas sweater.

Timothy’s seen some downright ugly things in his life (a drunk Swamp Thing ranks pretty high) but nothing is uglier than the abomination he has been forced into.

The sweater (if it can even be called that) is a horrendous furry green and red explosion with silver tassels flying everywhere and a plump santa leering at everyone.

Tim nearly cried the first time he saw it.

Damian’s having the time of his life, laughing at him in the corner. Tim shoots him a stink eye. It’s just not fair that he weaseled out of this, staying safe in a striped sweater.

Dick skips by him and Tim nearly gags at the Christmas joy radiating off of him. Of course Dick manages to pull of his horrendous light up Christmas sweater and hat. Dick can’t look bad in anything.

Tim is halfway through despairing about the state of humanity and mourning his own ruined social standards when warm arms wrap around him and all his thoughts float away.

Humanity was good and well and prospering. His social status wasn’t completely ruined. Damian Wayne can eat his smirk. Dick Grayson can shove his stupid smile somewhere else.

Because Tim Drake, in all his ugly Christmas sweater glory, had the prettiest girl in all of Gotham hugging him. He can feel a smile tug at his lips as he relaxes into Stephanie’s arms.

“Hey you,” She giggles, “You look dashing.”

Tim grin and neatly turns around.

“Hey yourself,” he says, pressing his forehead against hers.

Never mind the fact that they’re wearing the same sweater, Stephanie looks like a goddess. Tim swears that he’s not biased but he’s convinced that red, green, and silver are her colors.

“You have that ridiculous look on your face again, Drake,” Damian shoots as he slides out to greet Stephanie and only mildly grumbles as she reaches out to ruffle his hair.

“You’re an angel,” he says as Damian moves away to pester Dick. “I have no idea how you deal with him.”

Stephanie laughs and he drinks up every sound, eyes glued to her glowing smile and gleaming eyes.

“Let’s ignore our baby demon and enjoy each other’s company, yeah?”

Timothy hums and wraps his arm around her waist. He could almost forget that this beautiful woman was the reason for his pain in the monstrosity that called itself a sweater-

almost.

“You owe me,” he huffs. “I am suffering in this disgusting example of all of humanity’s failures.”

Stephanie only laughs again, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“You love it,” she says, before leaning up to connect their lips.

“Merry Christmas, boyfriend wonder.”

TimSteph + all the odd numbers sorry not sorry

Ayy again this is for DCAU only.                                                                              1: Who spends almost all their money on the other?They’re both dirt poor since Tim would refuse any money from Bruce after RotJ, so they pitch in together for everything.3: Who walks around the house half-naked and who yells at them to put on some clothes?Steph would; Tim avoids letting his body be seen due to his scars.  (Even though she doesn’t mind he still feels ashamed and doesn’t like any reminders.)  He wouldn’t yell at her, but he would be super-embarrassed on her behalf and averts his eyes out of respect.5: Which one tries to make food for the other but burns it all by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them both cookies?Tim tries but he’s pretty bad at it, so Steph usually ends up doing the cooking.  (Tim’s not really into sweets anymore either so just replace “cookies” with “waffles”.)7: Which one constantly wears the other’s clothes?Steph constantly borrows Tim’s clothes, which mostly consist of baggy hooded sweatshirts anyway.  (What I don’t picture him as XXtaro what are you talking about.)9: Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions?According to the tie-in comics Bruce did teach Tim to drive as Robin, although I think he’d trust Steph more to take the wheel in most cases lest he has an anxiety/panic attack at the wrong time.11: If they were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers and which one is strolling behind with a bag of chips?Neither one of them wishes to commit any crimes, period.  Steph would be more likely to perform backflips than Tim at this point though.13: Which one likes to surprise the other with a lot of small random gifts?Steph totally loves to “spoil” Tim. *shot*15: Which one screams about the spider and which one brings the spider outside?Steph screams and Tim brings it outside rather than killing it, since he has no desire to take another life.17: Who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling?Dick and Barbara wouldn’t be threatening exactly, but they would be worried about their little brother being able to have a normal, healthy relationship whilst trying to support him as best they can.  (Conner, on the other hand, *would* be extremely overprotective and be willing to threaten Steph if ever she hurts Tim - for both selfless and *cough* personal reasons.)19: How good would your OTP be at parenting?Tim would be really scared of having kids at first since he’s afraid of ending up like (any one of) his father(s); similarly Steph would be worried about her mothering skills given her own folks’ background.  They’d both turn out to be really great parents though. 21: Who gets attacked by a bully and who protects them?Tim tends to be a target due to his “weirdness” so Steph often has to step in to defend him.  If Steph’s ever in danger he will also do whatever it takes to protect her - even if it means physically despite the fact he hates violence now.23: Who comes home from work to see that the other one bought a puppy?I don’t know that they could afford a pet but I think Tim would be tempted to adopt a stray if he came across one.25: Which one competes in some sort of activity and which one does the overzealous cheering?Tim doesn’t really deal well with “confrontation”/being part of a “team” anymore, although Steph participates in gymnastics so Tim attends all her meets.  (He’ll still practice on his own in private but never publicly display his skills, for both personal purposes and to protect his identity.)  He’s not exactly overzealous in cheering but he does give her tons of support.27: Which one would give the other a makeover if they asked?Ahaha Tim would definitely never touch makeup after forcibly being turned into “Joker Junior”…  As I wrote in this headcanon though he would be willing to let Steph cut his hair, as she’s the first person he’d be comfortable around enough since then to allow even near him with a sharp object.29: Which one holds the umbrella over both of them when it rains?Tim.  Even though he’s forever a shorty in DCAU he’s still taller than Steph.

I'm delighted to hear that you liked it!! Thank you so much for your kind words :)

Five Times Stephanie Brown Made the News

This fic is for @ladykattz who I offer a million apologies for being so late. I hope this fic makes it up to you.

Prompt: “Can you do something with Stephanie being Tim’s date to a gala or visiting him at Wayne Enterprises for whatever reason? I just wanna see how all these high class or professional workplace people view this unknown girl who is constantly chilling with the Waynes.”

1. The first time Stephanie made the news, she was fifteen and Gotham exploded at the news of another vigilante working their way through the Gotham underworld. Word on the street was, this one wore purple and had hair bright as the sun. Among themselves, Gothamites gossiped. Some didn’t believe she’d last a week, others thought she’d make it to a month. No one believed she would ever truly succeed. Behind her mask, Stephanie narrowed her eyes and swore to prove them wrong. 2. Stephanie makes news again as Stephanie, friend of the elusive Cassandra Cain, whom which journalists would sell their organs for to get an interview. They watch as the blonde chatters freely to the sole daughter of Bruce Wayne, a smiling often flitting across her face, one mirrored easily on Cassandra’s face as well. At one point, Cassandra Cain laughs so hard she doubles over, clutching her stomach. Her eyes wrinkle, and the newspapers papers dub her a beauty in a beat. Who is this girl, who seems to familiar to the most elusive and impassive members of the Wayne Family?

3. The third time Stephanie made it on the news, she was seen in the arms of one Timothy Drake at the Wayne Gala. The same mysterious blonde hanging out with Gotham’s princess was now firmly essential as the girlfriend of one of Gotham’s prince. The news story only briefly brushed over how Tim’s eyes never left his date, how under the soft lights the two smiled like gems. How Dick’s arms often wrapped about the two like family and Damian dances with Stephanie and over again. Mostly, it focused on the elites throwing themselves into a tizzy as they fumed over a common girl on the arms of one of the men in highest demand. This blonde, with her obnoxious laugh and cheap jewelry had the nerve to steal one of the most wanted men, and did so in a Macy’s dress. The ladies decked out in Gucci and Swarovski diamonds fluffed their hundred dollar insured hair in disgust. The elites scorned and scoffed, but no one could deny the happiness radiating off of the couple. Nor could they deny that the words “pompously overdressed clout” left Stephanies lips multiple times as the couple laughed themselves into oblivion watching the Elite of Gotham flush purple. 4. The fourth time Stephanie made the news, it was after an interview with a Wayne Enterprise secretary. The anonymous secretary provides multiple reports on the recent sunshine appearing in the Wayne Enterprises. It would appear that rain or shine, a blonde female would skip up the stairs to the Wayne Tower, press a kiss on Mr. Drake’s forehead (which, in the 279 days that she has observed Ms. Browns arrivals, have never failed to bring a happy smile to his face) and cheerfully encourage the workers to keep up the good work. Ms. Brown, the secretary raves, is a miracle worker. She was thoughtful too, always asking Mr. Wang about his daughter and Mrs. McClain about her hospitalized father and Mr. Mendoza about his newborn. It was as if, she writes, entrapped in her shining blonde hair and blue eyes was the sun itself. It certainly had a favorable effect among Tower the workers and Mr. Drake himself.

5. The fifth time Stephanie makes the news, she is a new hero. Another year, another gala, another outing as one of Gotham’s most well established couples. Tim slips his arms around Steph’s waist and she leans up to press a soft kiss onto his jaw, raising her hand to admire the gleaming diamond on her finger. Together, they greet all those who congratulate them on their recent engagement. A soft love wraps around them, and happiness radiates off them. Stephanie takes great delight in bragging about the newest Revlon eyeshadow and the upcoming Fenty Beauty release as the ladies gather around her. A few titter and clutch luxury powders, but she’s proud to see that majority of the women are listening intently to what she says. It never fails to delight her when girls walk up to her to strike a conversation about a product she recommended. Still, of course something goes wrong and this it comes in the form of the Condiment King, shouting about his own power and youth and lost chances. When the rest of the elites rush back and a jumble of confused shouts and scared expressions, Stephanie takes the opportunity to punch him right across the jaw- after she chews him out for even thinking about interrupting her special moment and her engagement. Not on her watch, she snaps, glaring down towards the trembling Condiment King, aiming a kick towards his ribs. What a girl, the elites whisper among themselves. How selfless, how heroic. Her fiancé is a lucky man. What a hero.

Behind them, the Wayne family grins.

I. Love. This.

But consider: AU where Stephanie Brown meets Bruce Wayne as a Sunshine Scout and harasses him into buying cookies.

Barbara: Steph, you deserve the best and you found it. Tim, don’t you dare hurt her.

Tim: *chuckles* I won’t.

Dick: Don’t laugh. She means it.

Tim: I-I won’t.

Bruce: Seriously son, don’t hurt her.

Tim: Okay, I’m not planning on hurting her?

Cass: You better not be.

Tim: I’m not!

Jason: Hey Tim, you best watch yourself.

Tim: Why do any of you think I would hurt Stephanie? You’re all my family too.

Damian: Eh

Stephanie Brown

thank you for coming to my TED talks.