Im An Idiot - Tumblr Posts

Of Christmas Sweaters and Abominations

Timothy Drake would like to shrink into a nearby crevice and never come out. Timothy Drake would like to sink into a lake and never surface. Timothy Drake would like to fight Harley Quinn with one hand tied behind his back. Timothy would like to do anything but have to stand in front of Wayne Enterprise’s associates in an ugly Christmas sweater.

Timothy’s seen some downright ugly things in his life (a drunk Swamp Thing ranks pretty high) but nothing is uglier than the abomination he has been forced into.

The sweater (if it can even be called that) is a horrendous furry green and red explosion with silver tassels flying everywhere and a plump santa leering at everyone.

Tim nearly cried the first time he saw it.

Damian’s having the time of his life, laughing at him in the corner. Tim shoots him a stink eye. It’s just not fair that he weaseled out of this, staying safe in a striped sweater.

Dick skips by him and Tim nearly gags at the Christmas joy radiating off of him. Of course Dick manages to pull of his horrendous light up Christmas sweater and hat. Dick can’t look bad in anything.

Tim is halfway through despairing about the state of humanity and mourning his own ruined social standards when warm arms wrap around him and all his thoughts float away.

Humanity was good and well and prospering. His social status wasn’t completely ruined. Damian Wayne can eat his smirk. Dick Grayson can shove his stupid smile somewhere else.

Because Tim Drake, in all his ugly Christmas sweater glory, had the prettiest girl in all of Gotham hugging him. He can feel a smile tug at his lips as he relaxes into Stephanie’s arms.

“Hey you,” She giggles, “You look dashing.”

Tim grin and neatly turns around.

“Hey yourself,” he says, pressing his forehead against hers.

Never mind the fact that they’re wearing the same sweater, Stephanie looks like a goddess. Tim swears that he’s not biased but he’s convinced that red, green, and silver are her colors.

“You have that ridiculous look on your face again, Drake,” Damian shoots as he slides out to greet Stephanie and only mildly grumbles as she reaches out to ruffle his hair.

“You’re an angel,” he says as Damian moves away to pester Dick. “I have no idea how you deal with him.”

Stephanie laughs and he drinks up every sound, eyes glued to her glowing smile and gleaming eyes.

“Let’s ignore our baby demon and enjoy each other’s company, yeah?”

Timothy hums and wraps his arm around her waist. He could almost forget that this beautiful woman was the reason for his pain in the monstrosity that called itself a sweater-

almost.

“You owe me,” he huffs. “I am suffering in this disgusting example of all of humanity’s failures.”

Stephanie only laughs again, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“You love it,” she says, before leaning up to connect their lips.

“Merry Christmas, boyfriend wonder.”

wait, nvm, they’re all porn bots

Whom the FCUK

Estoy triste, haré cosas para sentirme peor.

Necesito un respiro.

¿como me olvido de todo por un segundo?.

No lo soporto, no soporto mas esta pesadilla...

Que alguien me levante por favor.

No merezco esta vida de mierda.

The Burger King marries the Dairy Queen at their beautiful Olive Garden. They have two children, Wendy and Carls Jr., who have two jesters to entertain them: Ronald Mcdonald and Jack, who lives in a box. They will be guarded by the noble 5 Guys, the head of the army being Colonel sanders as they live in their White Castle that has a giant bell hanging from it, the Taco Bell.

PLEASE DONT COPY ME!!!

Never go to war with a Evangelizing Zealots empire before midgame

A couple violin sections from Yuri’s short program! Such eros!

Didn't even realize asks were off, sorry guys!

*swipe, swipe, swipe* "Got any matches? CAW!" *swipe, swipe, swipe* "CAW! You ever swipe left dude?? CAW!"

I just had a thought. I probably should have made a recommendation masterlist instead of rebloging over 30 masterlists individually. It would have saved so much time. I should have thought this through more.

The biggest scam your brain is telling you is that everybody else is human and allowed to make mistakes but that you yourself have to be perfect and flawless to deserve their company

Fun fact, until an hour ago I thought #sashannarcy was shipping Sasha and anarchy until I finally stopped speed reading everything and realized what it actually was 😂

*on my class' party*

Teacher: Please eat the ice cream before it melts.

Me: Lol. How many ice cream can I eat till I get ill?

*eats 5 popsicles*

A few moments later

Me:*rolls on the school floor, giggling*

I actually have a funny story.

This past Friday right? My school did spirit week and Friday was a Halloween dance, and costume day! So me being me, I wore my miles morales Spider-Man suit, (with a jacket, shoes, and some shorts so I wouldn’t get dress coded) but I also was experiencing like TERRIBLE BACK PAIN.

So my 6th pd teacher (bless his soul) was like, “yeah no, you can barely walk. How will you make it through the day? And take that big ass back pack off and sit down.” (His words not mine)

So he calls the nurse, the nurse comes down w a wheelchair, and wheels ms miles morales to her office. I had a temperature of 101.3°. So the nurse was like, “yeah no, go home.” And she called my mom. Then my mom was like, “yeah no, we’re going to the ER.”

so basically, I spent 4 HOURS IN THE HOSPITAL LOBBY IN A MILES MORALES COSTUME BECAUSE I HAD THE FLU-

I forgot to add, while my teacher was going to get the nurse, my grade level was going to get lunch…… EVERYONE SAW SPIDER-MAN CRYING ON A TABLE BECAUSE HER BACK HURTS.

Favorite genre of post

Help, my dumbass read that as "a baby cricket" and i was about to defend baby crickets

I once saw a baby eat a cricket, it was fucking disgusting

Oh shit, you right

ha?

every single person who reblogs this

every

single

person

will get “doot doot” in their ask box

how many followers & moots do you have?? ><

I have 25, it’s still a lot 💪🏻💪🏻

And call me slow but what are moots? 😭😭😭😭 I’m a bit stupid (I have dyslexia)

near from death note but as tbh meme lol

I have a 38.5 degree fever and 28 people coming over for a barbecue I planned in a few hours.

🫡 what have I doooneeeeeee