WAIT WHAT????

WAIT WHAT????

The line is "poise and rationality"!!???? I've been singing "poisonous rationality"!!!! That's so much cooler!

Socrates: that's terrible!

Doe: I can handle it.

Socrates: doesn't mean you need to.

Really want a video game, maybe high fantasy or something, that is just a rediculously complex choose your own adventure. And just crazy in all the different paths you can go. Like in the first level you just choose between two different games essentially.

This isn't some new crazy combination of flavors necessarily, but a really well done simply good dish.

I think almost 3 years later I finally understand how to interpret my own art.

For my highschool art portfolio you had to submit a concentration. A number of peices all with a theme or at least all in the same medium. I went with ink pen. Specifically, all of my peices were done as a single line drawing, with the pen never leaving the paper, and sometimes dabbling with watercolor as well.

I was in highschool and in pain. I knew I was depressed, diagnosed and medicated. But I didn't understand why. Part of it was purely physical brain chemistry. But another was my perspective.

One single unbroken line. I believe I have firmly overcome my depression. I am still dependent on medication and have come to terms that I probably will be for the rest of this life. But I am now happy, and brimming with hope. And with that has come hightened understanding.

I had come to resent my highschool art. I saw it as proof of my pain and failures. And I thought it perfectly represents my selfishness. In highschool I was looking forward to better days wanting better things, but I wanted them for myself.

I believe I have a pretty good imagination. I seem to have always been good at looking down the road to the future. Knowing whether or not an action will hurt me. But my focus was on my timeline, not others. I was only looking at a single line.

I knew I wanted to be good. But with only the perspective of a single line there was no urgency, no reason. If I was doing this only for me? Well than I'd rather just be lazy.

There are a thousand selfish reasons to never change.

I know that no matter what I do or don't do, I am loved; I know very well my agency, that I am free to subject myself to things that will hurt me. But I do not want anyone to hurt longer than they have to. I want to, am axious and excited to change, to be better for others. I take care of myself, practice self-love, so I can stay longer to help others.

Beware of myopic, singular, or narrow-minded thinking. Look to love others.

Deleted youtube and haven't been asked to do something... what am I suppose to do with myself? I want to do something productive... but doesn't require any effort. Hrmmmmmmmm

Lup.

Love you platonically