Were Re-reading A Christmas Carol. And All I Can Think About Is

We’re re-reading A Christmas Carol. And all I can think about is…

Cry of Fear Christmas Carol where Simon is Scrooge, or the Scrooge Adjacent figure (because not everything has to be EXACTLY the same as the original.)

That… that is all. I can fucking see it so clearly in my mind. Why is it so fucking clear in my mind to have Simon as Scrooge??

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Being a factive really sucks, especially if you’re a factive of someone a lot of people know. Because I remember my life, but it’s not my life, but it is as well. Like… I’m me but I know I’m not me, and I’m scared to actually be me in case the orignal me comes into contact with me. Y’know??

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Ok. Thanks. That helps a lot! I’ve just recently been internalizing how something was specifically my fault because of how an ex abuser took something I had done and apologized for and used it against us when we finally broke off that relationship, so now we face this reputation of being problematic.

Those who view us as problematic also don’t care about our side of the story either. They have our abuser’s half and that’s it. They have the twisted version of events where many things have been left out of context.

But what you said does make sense now. Thank you for explaining! :)

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Another poll kinda related to the earlier one that is less specific.

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For me it’s not that I haven’t put in the work or tried to heal. I’ve healed a bit since then. I’ve learned and grown from that mistake personally. It’s just the fact that having to deal with my own actions hurting the others in my system sucks.

I’ve heard “system responsibility” thrown around sometimes. An ex-abuser of ours who was also a system threw it around too, but in more of an “all alters except the host are bad and should never be trusted or allowed to front” kind of way. Like…

Something happened, one of us got front locked (and like the bad kind when you’re the only one in the front) along with our host. And our host admitted to having trust issues with people due to how we as a system have been hurt in the past. This caused a massive fight with other alters who felt hurt by the extreme lack of trust, despite only a small handful of alters making the mistake of doing things that they now know to be wrong in social situations. Abuser took what they said and explained that “alters shouldn’t be trusted. It’s called system responsibility. You have to keep everyone in line. You can never leave the front because no one should be trusted in your system.”

So… could I also get a better definition on what system responsibility is as well?? Because obviously I’m extremely reluctant to accept that definition our abuser had given us of “no alter can be trusted and no one should ever be in the front alone.”

And if that is the definition after all then I am so sorry to Blue and Ghost…

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Ok so… in response to this poll that I made last night, why is the entire system at fault for what one alter did?

Because if everyone was their own separate person outside of the system, then the blame would be placed on that one person who fucked up.

You wouldn’t go around blaming their friends, family, and entire social group for what they did, right? Or would you?

Because last I checked, the only person responsible for someone’s actions is themself in the end. You can try to sway them, you can manipulate them, you can convince them, but ultimately they have a final say in their actions.

At least that’s what I’ve been taught.

So please enlighten me on why the entire system is at fault for the actions of one alter? I am just trying to learn why so I can try and better myself and keep all of my headmates from being at fault for my own stupid actions. /gen

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heyhey systems !!

doing a quick poll because as a questioning system i am curious about this..

what do yall think about alters dating eachother? (from the same system)

Another poll kinda related to the earlier one that is less specific.

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Important edit:

See fault as who should be held most accountable for the action.

Also, the responses that this has gotten so far have really helped because a lot of this was extremely related to our system’s past trauma from being emotionally abused (being given a bullshit definition of system responsibility, being “held accountable” wasn’t to make amends but to be held at fault and shamed/blamed no matter how much you tried to change and get better, and those internalized beliefs affecting my own view of myself through feeling as if I should feel guilty despite trying everything I could to make amends for what I did)

Thank you to everyone who responded to this already. Your responses have been truly helpful! :)