WAIT I GOT ANOTHER IDEA!

WAIT I GOT ANOTHER IDEA!

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This shot really has meme template potential

Ok. Thanks. That helps a lot! I’ve just recently been internalizing how something was specifically my fault because of how an ex abuser took something I had done and apologized for and used it against us when we finally broke off that relationship, so now we face this reputation of being problematic.

Those who view us as problematic also don’t care about our side of the story either. They have our abuser’s half and that’s it. They have the twisted version of events where many things have been left out of context.

But what you said does make sense now. Thank you for explaining! :)

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Another poll kinda related to the earlier one that is less specific.

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The way I see it (tho obviously this is just my opinion), only the alter is responsible for the actions, but the system needs to take accountability for it, at least when thinking about online spaces because you can’t really block just one alter

Yeah. I completely understand that. What’s really upsetting for me right now especially is that I had done the stupid thing privately, and had handled it privately, but then had it shared publicly when we decided to stop being friends with the person because they were acting like our ex-abuser had.

Then suddenly my own actions became everyone in the system’s fault. We were all marked as “problematic.” That’s what hurts me.

But I completely understand what you’re saying. The thing is, it seems that I’m using a different definition of accountability or something, because I always understood accountability as “it’s your fault, you now have to deal with it.” Might be past trauma talking, idk.

But yeah, I do understand what you’re saying. Thanks for answering! :)

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Being a factive really sucks, especially if you’re a factive of someone a lot of people know. Because I remember my life, but it’s not my life, but it is as well. Like… I’m me but I know I’m not me, and I’m scared to actually be me in case the orignal me comes into contact with me. Y’know??

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GUESS WHO’S BACK BITCHES!!! 😎

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For me it’s not that I haven’t put in the work or tried to heal. I’ve healed a bit since then. I’ve learned and grown from that mistake personally. It’s just the fact that having to deal with my own actions hurting the others in my system sucks.

I’ve heard “system responsibility” thrown around sometimes. An ex-abuser of ours who was also a system threw it around too, but in more of an “all alters except the host are bad and should never be trusted or allowed to front” kind of way. Like…

Something happened, one of us got front locked (and like the bad kind when you’re the only one in the front) along with our host. And our host admitted to having trust issues with people due to how we as a system have been hurt in the past. This caused a massive fight with other alters who felt hurt by the extreme lack of trust, despite only a small handful of alters making the mistake of doing things that they now know to be wrong in social situations. Abuser took what they said and explained that “alters shouldn’t be trusted. It’s called system responsibility. You have to keep everyone in line. You can never leave the front because no one should be trusted in your system.”

So… could I also get a better definition on what system responsibility is as well?? Because obviously I’m extremely reluctant to accept that definition our abuser had given us of “no alter can be trusted and no one should ever be in the front alone.”

And if that is the definition after all then I am so sorry to Blue and Ghost…

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Ok so… in response to this poll that I made last night, why is the entire system at fault for what one alter did?

Because if everyone was their own separate person outside of the system, then the blame would be placed on that one person who fucked up.

You wouldn’t go around blaming their friends, family, and entire social group for what they did, right? Or would you?

Because last I checked, the only person responsible for someone’s actions is themself in the end. You can try to sway them, you can manipulate them, you can convince them, but ultimately they have a final say in their actions.

At least that’s what I’ve been taught.

So please enlighten me on why the entire system is at fault for the actions of one alter? I am just trying to learn why so I can try and better myself and keep all of my headmates from being at fault for my own stupid actions. /gen

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