Trauma And Distress Should Not Be Used As A Measurement To Decide Who Is Most Worthy Of Community Or

Trauma and distress should not be used as a measurement to decide who is most worthy of community or support or a shoulder to cry on. We're all worthy. Regardless of whether what you went through was one big hurricane or a dozen smaller thunderstorms. Trauma is trauma. Nobody should be competing here.

Do more of what makes you happy. Prioritize yourself, put yourself and your health and wellbeing first. You're not selfish, this is how you survive. How you feel better. You can do whatever you want. You don't constantly have to slave away to make others happy because that's the "noble" thing to do. You're not "very kind" or "super caring" at this point, you are neglecting yourself, you are ruining your health. Start putting yourself first today.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you’re at a low point:

If you were a fictional man right now, there would be *at least* ten people if not a large portion of the fanbase that would call you their wet beast poor little meow meow

Blue and I worked together in this and are very proud of the new profile picture for our socials :3

Blue did the coloring and shading outside of the eyes and I did the line work.

I suck at drawing hands… don’t look too close on those ;^;

Btw: yes. My artwork closely resembles Blue’s because they were the one who taught me how to draw. Mikel too actually…

Blue = everyone’s teacher in here I swear-

-🩶👻

People only see shades of you, and they see them also through their own eyes, their own experience, their own triggers/unmet needs too. They also see what you let them see or have to let them see in specific moments or situations.

Do not worry too much about their opinions even if this may be a past trauma trigger of yours: if this is the case, try to learn how to stay grounded and know your real self first (especially try to not overreact, even if you're being hit in the feels -ofc it's hard and you probably won't make it at first, and that's fine. Do your best as you usually do: even if what they say hurts, you know your truth and what you have experienced, so be kind with yourself however you'll react).

Keep in mind that many times people's opinions hold only a partial truth and a few others they can even be totally wrong: have a check within, try to be objective and see if there's anything right in what they say (accept the critique/feedback and decide if it's something you need to work on or it's just part of you now -both are okay, especially while you're starting to heal and learning/finding new inner balance/setting boundaries and getting acquainted with the new you); or if they hit one of the traits you have been healing for a while (and if that's the case, know that it's fine if you still need more time even if you feel frustrated by it, no matter what they say); or if they are completely wrong cause they actually haven't seen the real you but only the "you" you show in specific situations or contexts and they couldn't experience more than that. We're made of layers and we cannot always show them all nor we have to show them to everyone (it's our decision who to let in).

Be open to the chance that the truth they are experiencing can be different from the one you are experiencing, and that it doesn't have to affect you at all costs: you can decide what to keep and what to leave aside, out of all they tell you. Again, you can decide who to let in more and who to leave out, no matter how they feel about it (you cannot control others' feelings anyway, as you cannot control their judgement and opinions too. These in fact generally originate from feelings, and feelings are emotions filtered by mind: triggers, insecurites and more reside here and often intervene in what we think of others/how we perceive them and their behaviours, or overthink them inside making up stuff in our mind too).

Remember that you're not here to please anyone, to change or to wear different masks according on who you have in front of you (we're all different, and different people will not like different parts of you and that's fine), you're here to live your life and enjoy it the way you rather. You're here to be you, no matter how many people like or dislike you. You're not here to be liked by everyone anyway: there are way too many people on this planet, it's perfectly fine if a part of them do not appreciate you (as you may not appreciate exactly everyone too).

Positive reminder that you can get better. That you can better yourself and do better by others.

Remember that Zuko, the most loved character in Avatar the Last Airbender, was once an antagonist. That he did some questionable things. That he had betrayed his uncle and the gaang. But he bettered himself.

Zuko regressed during his redemption arc, and you will too, but remember that he learned and grew from his mistakes and became the fandom’s most beloved character.

Be like Zuko. Don’t give up on bettering yourself because you regressed and because people hate/are angry with you. It takes time. If his redemption arc only lasted a few episodes, then it wouldn’t have had the lasting impact that it has today.

Your redemption arc is underway. Don’t stop fighting to become a better version of yourself, Stars.

-☀️