Dont Care That This Is A Public Conservation Now Because I Got Something To Say To You:

Don’t care that this is a public conservation now because I got something to say to you:

Don’t ever be sorry for how you are acting, Blue. You are still learning. I am so fucking proud of the progress you’ve made. Even if it takes 100 years for you to let go of the front due to that anxiety, it’ll be ok. You are amazing, kind, a little too selfless for your own good, and a caring person. You always care so much about others. I’m sorry that two people used that kindness against you and used it to make you dependent on them while they gave you nothing in return.

You are the best person I know. Don’t ever be sorry for healing. It takes time. We will all gladly wait for you and be here to help you as you go through this.

I will be here every step of the way, and I will wait for you throughout this entire healing process, because it won’t happen over night. Your healing takes time. Don’t ever apologize for that.

I love you 🥰

-📖

Ok: as a host with control issues due to the past abuse this system has gone through, blacking out and allowing others to front is taking a lot of time to process for me.

Because I finally allowed someone else to front for a bit, if only for a few minutes. And I panicked when I got back because I didn’t know where the coffee cup was. Needless to say I’m very sorry to my headmates for being a controlling bitch 😔

-🍓

Miraculous mamma mia au where Emma goes through Marinette's diaries and has 3 candidates: Adrien Agreste, Chat Noir and Catwalker

i think all systems should stop trying to figure out if stuff is “normal” in systemhood before accepting that it’s happening to them.

there have been many times where i assumed i was crazy because id never heard another system talk about something i was experiencing and tried to ignore it. eventually id find someone else who experienced the same thing, and id be so happy, but realize i wasted so much time doubting myself and beating myself up.

yes, look for others who share your experiences, but also YOUR experiences are enough. you aren’t faking for simply having an experience. you should be allowed to feel what you feel and do what you do.

It’s fine. I’m fine.

-🍓+📖

Tips for writing trans characters from someone who was afraid of writing them wrong:

Write their narrative in a way that makes sense for the characters.

For example, my character Dex Dieunarrah discovered he was trans very early in life (after entering kindergarten). This makes sense for his character because he is someone who knows what he wants and doesn’t stop in pursuit of it. He knows who he is and is extremely self-confident. So it makes sense that he knows he’s trans early on in life.

My character Currant Numerfein’s story revolves around how much her life changed after a traumatic family accident when she was young, and revolves around self-discovery and free will. She discovers more about herself and family history through others. So Dex was the one who explained what his experience with gender dysphoria was like and why he socially transitioned when he was younger. Currant decides to give it a try, and finds she much prefers living as a girl instead of a boy. So she sticks with it. It also affects her brother Leno, who is having difficulty moving on with the trauma but loves his sister anyway, despite how much he wishes to return to the past. Furthermore, after noticing how much happier his sister is now that she’s socially transitioned, it helps him realize that the past was actually worse for the people he cares for. I would also like to add that Currant does face a lot of transphobia throughout the story, and biphobia as well since she is also bisexual, which is a major part of her story as she fights to have the freedom to choose for herself in her life instead of allowing others to choose for her.

Another tip is to not bring too much attention to the trans-ness of a character unless it fits in with the narrative.

Such is the case with Ghost Long. He discovered he was trans relatively early on in life too, but he’s a character from a completely different culture as well (one completely fictional btw). He’s been around trans people his entire life, because he lives in a culture that is extremely accepting of a lot of things, and where gender identity is explored very early on for children and it is encouraged that you try out different things at a young age. So of course it makes sense he knew he was trans since he was little. When he decided to socially transition, his parents didn’t even bat an eye. They just said they would accept him and moved on with their lives. A major part of his character is the massive culture shock when he arrives on Earth, because it’s so different from where he’s from.

Then there’s D’Ghala Kanabo, a genderfluid alien who knows who they are, but hides it constantly until they finally feel comfortable around the main cast and embrace their full identity, including their quirks and bad parts of their history. It’s a major part of their character, since they try to hide their kind’s history and pretend it never existed and a huge part of their character is learning to accept that part of their heritage.

The final trans character I want to mention is Squid Fisk. They’re nonbinary, and absolutely refuse to elaborate on what they were identified as at birth. It’s no one’s concern. They already know they’re nonbinary when the reader meets them, and the reader never finds out their sex. Because it doesn’t matter. Their character struggles with trauma and depression, but their past remains mostly a mystery to everyone but their fraternal twin brother Pallet. No one else learns of this, because they deem it unimportant as they attempt to move on from the past at every turn and accept that what was will never be again.

With those three characters, they’re mentioned to be trans and the narrative brings that to a focal point only when necessary, such as when D’Ghala breaks away from their toxic ex-friend group and proudly expresses that they’re genderfluid because now they’re no longer tied down to the expectations had on them by others.

Sometimes you don’t need to write in how a character figured out their gender identity. You can just have them start off that way and never explain it, but give hints here and there. Sometimes you can write about a character discovering that they’re trans. Just remember that the story should fit the character. Don’t force the representation. Make it make sense to the character that you are writing.

Have a great day!

-🍓

Ok. As much as I love Blue🍓, it can be so annoying when she refuses to be selfish.

To anyone who hates Blue🍓, fuck all of you because this bitch is 100% aware of how much I love them but then stops sometimes and asks if I would be happier with Sophie🐹 and I gotta stop and think and just be like “No. I’m happy with you. I’m glad you love me enough to think purely of my own happiness, truly I am. I’m very happy to know that’s how much you love me. However, I want you to know that I love you a lot and enough that I too care a lot about your happiness too. I want to spend the rest of my life with you because you being here with me is one of my biggest reasons for staying alive. I literally asked you to marry me. Please for the love of whatever runs the universe, be selfish with me. Please. I want you to be selfish.”

Like… they care a lot about others. More than they care about themself. So those who hate them can fuck right off because they’re the sweetest person in the fucking world.

And it’s hard because they have been used and abused by so many people because they refuse to be selfish.

I want them to be selfish. I want them to care only about their own happiness. I want them to chase what they want and not what others want or step aside because someone else wants that same thing. Because they need to be selfish. I can’t always be there for them. I can’t protect them. But I never want them to go through that again. I never want anyone else to use them. I never want to see them hurt again.

-📖

Sophie🐹 note: Proof Simon📖 is so fucking in love with Blue because everyone else they’ve dated only cared about what they can do for them and Simon📖 is over here like “Well what can I do for you?” I saw Blue🍓 fucking short circuit when Simon📖 finally said “Be selfish. What do you want to do?” So… yeah. These two are such fucking dorks -🐹