I Collect Images With Powerful Ot3/third Wheel Energies So You Dont Have To. I Am Releasing Them To You,

i collect images with powerful ot3/third wheel energies so you don’t have to. i am releasing them to you, the public, so you may share in my bounty

Alfred and Barbara (Oracle) bonding bc they sit behind screens while their fam gets beaten up and stuff? Its kinda vague

I did this with just Bruce and Dick being mentioned but it would go on into the entire family. (I made Barbara and Bruce have a sibling-like relationship because I feel like that would work so well with this kind of thing, and besides Aunt Barbara would be such a cute concept)

Barbara sighed and felt like shaming her head down on the table. 

"Something wrong, Miss Barbara?" She turned to the old man and shrugged, 

"They're idiots. All of them. They are going to get themselves killed!" She said, turning on the comms long enough for Alfred to hear the commotion from the Battle that Robin and Batman were currently in. 

Alfred set down the tray of tea and rested his hand on her shoulder, 

"Ah yes, they have a terrible disease when it comes to that. Have had it for years." She looked up at him and raised her eyebrow, 

"What disease?"

"Dumbass disease, Miss Barbara, and it's fatal."

His comment started making more and more sense as she did more and more Oracle work. The boys would come home with broken ribs, broken limbs, bruises to high hell, and even one time Bruce broker his fucking spine. 

Barbara (and Alfred too, except she's pretty sure he's an immortal god)  will die from worry and stress one day, and it'll be all her pseudo-brother and nephew's fault. 

Okay but this is so cute but also funny bc Clark and Diana could panic during a mission and just fucking YEET Bruce,

and plus if Diana is 8'9 he only comes up to her h i p s

All i want is for Superman to be over 6'7 and pure muscle and fat while Batman is 5'2 and built like a noodle

+ wonder women being 8'9, buff and gay

Bruce: [wordlessly splays a bunch of glossy photos across the table. each picture features a different angle of the batmobile, which has been painted a vibrant blue, purple, and pink.]

Jason: [chokes on his water]

Duke: [mouth drops open] No way…

Dick: Is—is that— 

Damian: tt.

Harper: Holy fucking—

Dick: —Is that the bisexual flag—

Stephanie: [maniacal cackling]

Cass: Pretty.

Dick: [slams hands on the table] It’s the bi-mobile.

Tim: [facepalms] Oh my god.

Bruce: I want the names of whoever did this.

Everyone:

Bruce: Now. 

Everyone:

Jason: Why the hell is everyone staring at me? I’m not the only bisexual at this table.

Tim: No, but you are the most chaotic bisexual here.

Jason: I can’t believe you said that to my face when Steph is sitting right next to you.

Stephanie: It wasn’t me, but I wish it was.

Harper: Nonono, Jay is the most rebellious bisexual. Dick is the most chaotic bisexual in the entire League.

Dick: [splutters] Wh—I—Look who’s talking!

Harper: [points accusingly] You have a problem Grayson!

Duke: [raises hand] Uh, is this meeting only for bisexuals? Because I’m pan.

Cassandra: [also raises hand] Lesbian.

Dick: Is—is nobody here straight?

Everyone: [gay silence]

Duke: [raises an eyebrow] Bruce?

Bruce: hn.

Jason: I guess that’s as close to a coming out as we’ll ever get.

Harper: Niiiice.

Stephanie: I knew it.

Cassandra: Dami?

Damian: [shrugs] Jon.

Dick: Aww— [dodges knife thrown at his head]

Bruce: None of us are leaving this room until whoever did this confesses.

Damian: Drake is looking kind of sus.

Jason: [spits out his water, again]

Tim: Oh, come on. I didn’t do it.

Damian: That is precisely what a guilty person would say.

Harper: He’s got you there.

Tim: Wh—I’m gay.

Bruce: That in no way exonerates y—

Dick: Wait, wait, I thought you dated Steph??

Tim: Yeah, like, a while ago. And then I figured out I was gay.

Dick: …But Steph dumped you.

Stephanie: Honestly, Tim being homosexual was the least of our relationship issues.

Duke: Yikes.

Bruce: [pinches the bridge of his nose] Just. Someone tell me who painted the goddamn Batmobile.

Everyone:

Jason: So you and Harvey fucked, right? You totally fucked?

Batfam + Co as conversations my friends and I have pt. 1

*over text*

Wally: Agreed? 🤝

Dick: Agreed ✨🤝✨

Wally: Ah fuck

Wally: You got glitter on my hand

Dick: B-but it's gay-

Wally: 🌈The gay touch🌈

Dick: Like King Midas

Wally: King Midas but h o m o s e g g s u a l-

instead of saying hey queen/king can we start saying “yes chef” like in hell’s kitchen