Rockstar: Your Story(Interview)

Rockstar: Your Story(Interview)

You're a famous rock star being interviewed about the beginning of your career to the current (includes mentions of Mick Ronson, David Bowie, and Mick Jagger):

"Ma'am, can you tell us a little bit about when you first met David Bowie?" The question was so sudden that I could only scrunch my eyebrows at it. I expected David to be brought up sometime, but I didn't expect the first question to be about him.

"Sure, let's see.... I can't remember the exact date, but my dear friend - Mick Ronson - had called me up saying some band was interested in having us as guitar players. I was hesitant because I enjoyed my job as an architect, but something pushed me to go with him; we hopped on the next train to London and did the audition." I explain, tilting my head up at the memories resurfacing. Ronno had been unsure as well, but I'm glad we went.

"We heard it wasn't a pleasant experience? What happened?" They emphasize 'wasn't', clearly looking for some juicy gossip on Bowie, and who am I to disappoint.

"Well, David had accepted Mick but rejected me, and Ronno originally turned down the offer because of that. He didn't even tell me the truth, just grabbed me by the arm and lugged me as well as the guitars out of the building. I knew it hadn't gone well because he had this angry glare in his eyes, which is strange, because if you've ever met him, then you'd know he's rather sweet, and has a very discerning disposition.

I asked what was wrong and he just said that they didn't want us. I knew he was lying, but I didn't want to argue with him. We spent the rest of the time wandering around London sightseeing." I state, folding my hands up in my lap as I look at the interviewer. I don't like looking back to the '70s, a lot of stuff happened, and I fear what they will bring up.

"What happened after that?" The interviewer continues hastily digging, wanting more information. I guess this person isn't going to quit until they get the full story.

"We had stopped by a restaurant and were having lunch. Ronno was saying we should catch the train home after, but we were interrupted by David. I don't know how he found us, I just remember being shocked when he started begging Ronno to join his band. I was also a little confused, and I remember saying, 'I thought you didn't want us?'

To which David responded, 'No, I want him, I just don't want you.' That line had run through my head the following 3 years until I realized how lucky I was David didn't want me." I say the last few sentences in a softer voice, not liking to relive that particular memory.

"He said what?!" The interviewer over exaggerates their movements, getting the audience laughing just as they had hoped. I laugh a little too, David saying something so rude does seem rather uncharacteristic.

"Yah, I was rather astonished as well because the words left him in such a casual way, as if choosing what bread to buy at the market." I say, gently chuckling at the visual of David buying bread in such a critical way.

"What- How, how did Mick react to that." Their eyes widen, the crowd quiets down as they await my answer.

"Oh, he almost punched David! But I grabbed him and pulled him aside, asking why he lied and all that stuff." I respond, remembering the beautiful anger that he so desperately wanted to act on.

"I bet the last thing you wanted was for him to join David's band, right?" The interviewer asks the question humorously.

"That's... Wrong actually. He was vehemently against playing in a band without me, this is mainly due to the fact that ever since we were 12, we've always played together. But, I wanted him to take the opportunity, to show the world his ability, and to be able to be a confident player without me." I explain in a gentle voice, vaguely thinking of how self-conscious he was at the time when it came to him playing guitar.

"You seem to be a really supportive friend, (Y/N)." The tone of their voice turns genuine, the whole conversation losing the humorous quality that had been sustained.

"I try to be, the last thing I want is for people's failings or regrets to be because of me." I smile, my relieved guilt ebbing away as I think of where he and I are now.

"As well as being supportive, you also seem to be fairly protective, at least, that's what I got when Mick told us the story of you traumatizing his high school bully! With that in mind, how did you feel when you learned he was earning next to nothing during the tour?" The beginning of the sentence sent the interviewer and audience into a bit of a laugh, I laugh as well at the memory of scaring off Ronno's bully.

The laughter lightly quiets down to a more serious tone at the end discussion.

"I was appalled! I hated myself for a while because of that, because I pushed him into this situation where he was barely getting paid. Which was the opposite of what I thought would happen, especially after their popularity went through the roof!"I exclaimed, my eyes widening as I relived the shock; the ebbing guilt rushing forward tenfold.

"I heard you went to some extreme measures in order to help him out, what exactly did you do?" The interviewer goes on, the questions digging into lesser known information.

"Well, I joined any band I could, I would try and get hired by restaurants for live music during nights, and then during the day I had a job as a waitress as well as working part time as a lyricist." I explain, just saying that makes me remember how tiring my schedule was back then.

"Now that's a lot to juggle, and I'm sure you have some great stories from those days, but we have a specific story. What happened during one of your many tiring nights of live music?" They ask, this question is sort of a bore to me, one I'm frequently asked to retell.

"I had been band hopping at the time, and was hired for a gig when I didn't have a supportive group, so I improvised. I played my guitar and was singing live, but before that I had recorded the drums and rhythm guitar parts for the songs I was scheduled to play, so when I got up there I just started the recording and played along.

This was for a club where they wanted rock, so it was heavier playing. It was during my guitar solo I noticed someone in the crowd." I divulged, deciding to add in some information I had never shared before.

"Ooh, is this when you met the Rolling Stones?!" Someone screams out, the crowd and interviewer looking in shock before they all burst out laughing at the person's eagerness.

"Yes... but I technically only met Mick Jagger that night. I wasn't a big fan of the Rolling Stones at the time, but I did have an appreciation for their music. I was actually playing one of their songs at the time. Either way, it just surprised me to see him." I continued after we had all calmed down.

"I know you joined their band after that, but can you tell us what exactly went down?" I squint slightly at my interviewer's vernacular before deciding to just answer them.

"I don't think I can tell you all the details, I worry J might get embarrassed! But, I can tell you that he met me backstage after I was done and asked me if I was available tomorrow to meet him at a recording studio. It was the weekend the next day, so I said yes, he wrote down the address and time on a piece of paper, handed it to me, then said goodbye and walked away." I state in a jovial tone, Jagger is one of my favorite people to talk about, because he loves to call immediately after the interview and schedule a meet up. He's strange like that.

"Sounds strange? How did you feel after that?" They looked intrigued, clearly wanting me to divulge the information that I withheld.

"I was shocked. The next day I went and met him and his band mates, then they started playing a song together and asked me to improv. I had never heard the song before, so I just started watching their movements and playing off of that; by the end they asked if I was interested in joining their band, which I clearly said yes to." I exclaim, the interviewer's face looking shocked by what I just said.

"Wow, that all sounds like it went really fast?"

"Oh it was, we had only been playing for 20 minutes when they all stopped and asked me to join. I was going to say no because I needed to make enough money to send to Ronno, but when they mentioned how much I would make weekly I immediately accepted." I reply, chuckling as I remember my astonishment.

"I know after joining the Stones, your career skyrocketed, your solo albums have done well, and you write all your own songs?" They continue, motioning to my newest album sitting on their desk.

"Yes, my solo albums have done surprisingly well, and I write my own songs. I do accept and sing other songs sometimes, but I usually have a story told throughout my albums, and throwing in a random song messes that up." I explained.

"Did you and Mick Ronson keep in contact during this?" They question, looking at me in interest.

"Of course! In the beginning, Ronno and I called every week at the least, and we would send letters sometimes too!" I state ecstatically before calming myself down.

"How did that work? He was touring at the time right?" They ask in a befuddled way.

"Yes he was, but he would tell me the places he would be as well as the dates that he would be there, and I would do the same with him. It was a little complicated, but it was worth it." I reply, my hands waving as I mimic us writing letters.

"Honestly though, what would you send him that couldn't be said over the phone?" They ask after a few moments, laughing as their mind runs.

"Photos, drawings, songs, food-"

"Photos?" I can hear what they're implying, and I can't help but squint my face in disgust. The crowd's laughter magnified at my reaction.

"Stop thinking like that, you all have dirty minds! I would take pictures of me and the band, as well as the places around me. I loved drawing as well, so I would send him some, as well as some songs that I thought he would enjoy playing. Lastly, I knew he was getting food, but I knew it wasn't food he was used to, so I would bake him something, or buy him local snacks and ship them off to the correct address." I explain, describing the different things I would send him.

"Did he ask you to do any of this?"

"No, Ronno was never a complainer, he hated telling people his issues. I was usually the exception, but he prefers telling me in person as compared to over the phone or in a letter. He did enjoy them though, and he would send me songs and pictures as well. I remember him snapping a picture of his drummer scarfing down some cookies I made!" I jubilantly state, smirking as I remember that the picture is still hanging on my fridge.

"You sent him all these lovely things, what did he send you?"

"I never asked for anything more than a letter or a phone call, but he would send me these extravagant songs, asking me how I thought they sounded and if I liked them. He would also send me drawings - he's not really an artist, but he knows I love the little doodles he does randomly, so he started sending them to me." I grin, knowing Ronni will be embarrassed by me sharing this information.

"Was this an easier time in your life or would you consider it one of the more stressful?" Ah, here it comes, the questions I am most dreading.

"The fame and fortune made my financial issues about none, but socially I felt isolated. I had played in popular bands before, but never like this, I was only consistently around my band mates and the people that worked for them. I only really talked with Jagger and Keith, and then Keith randomly started hating me, so I was down to only talking to Jagger." I reply almost subconsciously, my mind wanting to distance itself from these memories.

"What about Ronson? I thought you said you had weekly phone calls and sent letters?" They ask in confusion.

"We did, but about 3 months into that, David started complaining to Ronno that he spent too much time talking to me, and that he was ignoring his band mates for someone he might never see again." The answer in a short tone, clearly still holding resentment for David's decision.

"David said that?" They say in shock.

"Yah, he said it straight to Ronno's face. We obviously didn't stop talking, we kept calling and messaging each other, but it lessened after that to about 1 call every 2 weeks. They became much longer phone calls though, he said that David was limiting his amount of calls, but stated that David couldn't limit his time, so we would end up talking through the entire night!" I smile on glee, our weak form of rebellion still makes my heart warm.

"We've talked about Ronson and his band mates reactions, but how did your bandmates react?" They continue, going down a different avenue.

"Well, everyone basically made fun of me and said we were in love. They told me to stop being so desperate because I was probably annoying Ronno, that remark actually made me start to overthink a lot. I started worrying that I was annoying him, and that he didn't like talking to me anymore. I think that's around the time I began to develop anxiety, I was already depressed, so that just added on to my plate." I responded before realizing I was over sharing on live TV.

"Did you tell Ronson about that? How did he react?" They gratefully kept moving right along, not leaving an awkward silence.

"Well, I never actually told him about that, I think this is the first time he's hearing this." I smile in discomfort, and an uncertain smile on my face.

"Really? You never spoke to him about any of this?" They ask in surprise, slightly taken aback.

"My anxiety had me thinking that saying a single word to him was annoying him, so no, I didn't just start talking about this to him. It was a really dark spot for me, the person to pull me through was Jagger actually. He noticed my extensive isolation, how I stopped eating around others, how I stopped talking. He really pulled through for me, which is probably why I'm still friends with him." I voice solemnly, deciding that I might as well be honest about the situation since there is no going back now.

"I know this is a heavy topic for you, I have some more questions, but if you're uncomfortable we can move on." Wish you had said that earlier, but oh well.

"Ask away, we can just skip the ones I'm uncomfortable with." I smile in response.

"Alright, what did Mick do? Did he just pull you aside and talk to you?"

"No actually, he wrote a song and asked if I would listen to it." I responded.

"What?" Perhaps I should rephrase my vague response.

"That's honestly what he did. But he wrote a song with true meaning, it was rather dark, and it actually made me cry and begin to hyperventilate. We were alone, so he just rushed over and helped calm me down; he didn't ask me any questions until I had completely relaxed." I explained honestly.

"What did he say exactly?" They continue.

"He just apologized, asking if I wanted to talk. I said no at first, but then he asked why I've been distancing myself from him and the band, why all the songs I was writing were either dark or sad.

I told him the truth, that I was depressed, that I felt so intensely alone, and that I could no longer talk to Ronno because I was probably annoying him." An uncomfortable shiver ran up my spine, reliving those memories makes me feel nauseous.

"How did he react to that? I can't really picture him being the best at giving advice and comfort." She smiles in a joking way, attempting to lighten the conversation.

"He was lovely, he hugged me like a giant teddy bear and told me that he would help me through this. We talked for a while, he asked me why I thought I was annoying Ronno, and I told him what the band had said to me." I answer, feeling a small smile appear at the memory of Mick comforting me.

"What did he say to that?"

"He told me that they were a bunch of single idiots who were jealous, and that I shouldn't ruin a meaningful relationship with my best friend by believing the words of immature drug addicts." I respond, barely withholding my laughter as I watch everyone's reaction.

"He said that?!" They nearly yell, everyone laughing at my answer.

"Yes, and the next day he told them all off for belittling me. During our talk he spoke to me about my isolation, I explained that I did that when I was sad or feeling out of place, and he asked what he could do to make me feel like a part of the team. He honestly made me cry a couple of times from how caring he was. Then he started talking about heavier subjects, such as why I wasn't eating during lunch breaks, why I never accepted snacks, and why I was noticeably losing weight." I state, realizing that I was now broaching the subject of my eating disorder.

"That must've been tough." They state seriously.

"It was, I realized at that moment, how much I missed Ronno. I asked Jagger if he wanted me to leave the band since I was such a problem, but he told me to stop being an idiot. The next day I was given a few sheepish apologies from my band mates, and Jagger became a very prominent person in my life from that day on." I explained.

"That's good. So Mick Jagger stepping up to help you must've put him pretty high on your list of friends right?"

"Yes, I only realized how much he was doing for me when he barged into my room during a depressive episode and all but shoved the phone into my hand. I distinctly remember him telling me not to come out until tomorrow morning. When I held the phone up, he had actually dialed up Ronno, who sounded very tired and confused, as well as concerned." I smile, these are the memories that I hold onto dearly.

"Really? How did he know what number to call?"

"I assume he went snooping around my desk, in one of my drawers was a paper with dates, addresses, and numbers. It was one of the sweetest things anybody had ever done for me." The look on my face was genuine, that was honestly one of the sweetest things anyone has done for me.

"I know you two are still good friends, but was there ever the possibility of anything more?" Oh boy, I hate it when they try to talk about this subject.

"I did find him to be attractive if that's what you're asking, but I was never in love with him. He did ask me out on a date and I had said yes, the date was lovely, but we got caught in a crowd of fans and he was like how he normally is. It made me remember how many groupies I'd seen leaving his room, and how many women I've seen smothered over him at all times, and it scared me away from ever allowing myself to love him." I reply sincerely.

"Could there have been something? If you hadn't cut it off?" They continue to push the topic.

"There could've been something eventually - from the despondent look on his face when I said I didn't want a relationship, I think he wanted us to become something more. I don't regret what I did, I like the friendship I have with him, the last thing I wanted to do was ruin it with his promiscuity and my need for loyalty. We've moved on though, I kind of see him as the older brother I never had." I reply, explaining my reasoning and the aftermath.

"Well, since that ship has definitely sunk, what about Ronson? Was there ever anything there?" They just won't give up will they?

"No... Well, there was one time in high school when we thought we should try dating, but that was spurred on by our teenage inability to understand that we loved each other, but not in that way. We realized that that wasn't us when we tried to act like a couple and both noticed that it felt forced. Ever since then we've been best friends." I state.

"Gosh, you're shooting down all of the fan favorites. Are you interested in anyone? Anyone at all?" They sound slightly exasperated, maybe I should throw them a bone.

"Hmmm... Maybe." I smile, a mischievous glint surely in my eye.

"What do you mean maybe? You can't leave the fans hanging like that!" I can tell that I have their genuine attention now.

"Well, ever since David and I have become friends, I've been... slightly interested in him." I say, jumping straight into the deep end.

"..." The silence could almost be described as palpable, it almost makes me want to laugh at how everyone is stunned into silence.

"Well, don't just stare at me." I laugh lightly.

"... I'm sorry, just processing. Does David know this?" They ask in hurried confusion.

"Well, if he's watching like he said he would, then he knows now." I laughed once again, but this time it had an air of uncertainty to it.

"Don't tell me you just confessed over live TV, in an interview no less!" They say in shock, looking at me with wide eyes.

"What can I say! If he likes me back then this has worked out great." I respond, grinning at their reaction.

"What if he doesn't!" Their response makes me shiver in discomfort at that possibility, but I respond in humor.

"Then I die of embarrassment, cut all ties, and become a hermit!" I state loudly.

"Oh don't do that Y/N! Only healthy reactions are allowed on this show." The crowd laughs lightly at our convo.

I'm about to respond, but my Motorola starts ringing in my bag. I look to the interviewer before quickly digging through my bag and pulling out the phone. I sheepishly glance at it, the audience having fallen silent at the interruption.

"Is it alright if I answer this? It might be important." I state, I know this sounds bad, but it could actually be important since I left my home and animals under the care of my neighbor.

"Of course, but you owe us one more question before you leave then." They respond, holding out their hand.

"Deal!" I agree, shaking their hand quickly.

"Hello, this is Y/N." I state in a professional tone, getting a funny look from the interviewer at my seriousness.

"Y/N darling!" I am thrown off by the happy and familiar tone.

"...David?!" I state in slight confusion, everyone seeming to lean in closer.

"...Yes?" He responds in the same tone, making fun of the way I responded.

"Why are you calling me? I'm in an interview." I explain, swiftly going back to my professional tone.

"Yes well, when someone confesses they are interested in dating you, I thought the first thing one should do is accept." He responds in a joking yet serious tone.

I'm silent for a few moments in surprise, did David just say he wants to date me too?

"Well, don't leave me without a response darling... Will you go on a date with me." His serious and self assured tone dwindled slightly, I can hear his uncertainty.

"Yes." My response was short, it was rushed and all I could muster with my amount of shock.

"Good, I'll pick you up after the interview, so I'll see you in a few minutes." He stated before hanging up.

I can't contain the overjoyed smile that spreads across my face, most certainly accompanied by a warm blush. The audience snickers as I clumsily put my phone away, then they start laughing as the interviewer stares at me with a smug grin.

"Who was that?" They ask tauntingly.

"Ohhh... no one." I try to brush it off, but I know no one is believing.

"Really! Does this no one happen to be named David Bowie?" They continue.

I avert my eyes in embarrassment, the audience laughing even louder as I sheepishly nod my head.

Realitet Pakuptim(Albanian)

Ishte herët të enjten në mëngjes kur ajo mori lajmin e tmerrshëm se burri i saj kishte vdekur.

Ajo kishte pyetur veten pse ai nuk u kthye në shtëpi natën e kaluar, edhe duke pritur nga telefoni, përfundimisht duke e thirrur atë por kurrë nuk mori një përgjigje.

Ajo sapo kishte ecur me femijet E saj, Liseta dhe Alonso, ne rrugen e tyre te gjate per ne autobusin e shkolles ne pritje, duke pershendetur me kujdes teksa ajo iku me zhurme, duke e lene ate te buzeqeshte dhe te bjere me dore teksa autobusi nuk shihej. Duke u kthyer në shtëpi ajo kuptoi se zogjtë ishin veçanërisht të qetë, në mënyrë jo normale kështu, kjo e bëri heshtjen të parehatshme pasi ajo ishte e bllokuar me mendimet e saj të paprera; as era kërcitëse gjethet e rënë nuk ishte aq e zhurmshme sa zakonisht. Ajo i zbuti flokët e saj gërsheta të zeza anash përpara se të tërhiqte pa pushim në mëngët e pulovrës së saj blu-gri, duke i mbështjellur fort krahët rreth trupit të saj ndërsa ajo filloi të kthehej në shtëpi, duke dëgjuar nga afër kërcitjen nën këpucët e saj, mendja e saj ende ende ende ende po bredh në konfuzion se ku ishte burri i Saj, Rykeri. Disa hapa larg verandës së saj, ajo e ngadalësoi duke ecur ndërsa dëgjoi tingullin e një makine, hapat e saj u lëkundën pak ndërsa ajo u kthye, duke zbuluar modelin e zi e të bardhë të Belmontit, Makinën e policisë Së Ohajos që po i vinte drejt saj. Shkëlqimi kundër xhamit të përparmë nga qielli gri e bëri të pamundur për të parë se kush po i jepte makinës, duke e lënë të pasigurt nëse do të ndjehet i gëzuar apo i shqetësuar me pamjen e papritur.

Sa më afër i afrohej aq më shpejt rrahja e zemrës së saj, duke marrë frymë thellë ndërsa ajo shikonte makinën të tërhiqej pak metra larg. Duart e saj në mënyrë të pandërgjegjshme duke u përdredhur me njëri-tjetrin ndërsa ajo priti që dera e makinës të hapej, papritmas të ndihej e parehatshme edhe pse ishte mjaft ftohtë. Ajo i dinte rreziqet që i kishte burri i saj për shkak të punës së tij, dhe e dinte se ai mund të plagosej apo vritej në çdo thirrje, por asgjë nuk do ta përgatiste atë për vështrimin e dëshpëruar të oficerëve teksa dilte nga makina.

Rykeri ishte duke thirrur me partnerin e tij për një grabitje dhe hyrje në një zonë banimi, krimineli kishte dalë nga mbrapa dhe e kapi shtëpinë për t'u afruar pas tyre ndërsa hynin nga dera e shkatërruar, duke qëlluar të dy herë prapa, para se të vraponin. Policia po e kërkonte tani atë, por ka vetëm dy dëshmitarë, një që e pa atë ndërsa filloi të hapte derën e tyre dhe një komshi që pa se çfarë po ndodhte dhe thirri policinë.

Siç e shpjegoi oficeri se çfarë i ndodhi mendjes së saj u zbraz, zhurma tashmë e zhdukur e pyllit plotësisht dhe se nxehtësia e parehatshme u zhduk papritur, duke e lënë trupin e saj në vend të kësaj të ndjehej bosh. Ajo shpejt e gjeti veten të detyruar të kthehet në realitet kur oficeri kishte arritur të prekte shpatullën e saj, nuk ishte e pasjellshme apo e padëshirueshme, pasi ky oficer ishte shok i mirë me veten dhe Rykerin, por papritur dhe papritur kontakti i papritur e tronditi aq sa t'ia merrte shpatullën dhe të bënte një hap mbrapa. Dhe, ja, ai u tërhoq prej krahut të vet, e shikimi i tij u ul poshtë në dysheme, e ajo filloi të pendohet, sikurse ajo e kuptoi se ka vepruar.

Më në fund tha, "Më vjen keq Carter, ndjehem pak i tronditur për momentin."Zëri i saj me trimëri të qetë, një belbëzim i vogël ndërsa përpiqet të kuptojë dhe të kontrollojë të gjitha emocionet që kalojnë përmes saj. Një pamje mirkuptimi lahet në fytyrën e tij para se t'i tund kokën solemnisht dhe të kthehet në makinë, "Lamtumirë E Trishtuar."Carter foli, duke ofruar një buzëqeshje të shkurtër, të trishtuar para se të hynte në makinën e tij dhe të largohej.

Kishte shumë mendime që nxitonin në kokën e Sadenit, të gjitha lajmet nuk e goditën ende plotësisht. Me mendjen e saj duke garuar ajo u fut ngadalë në kabinën e saj në shtëpi, duke mbyllur derën para se të pushonte ballin e saj ashpër kundër drurit të ngjyrosur, duke i dhënë vetes një moment paqeje para se të largohej dhe të shkonte në telefon për të bërë disa telefonata.

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Shtëpia është e errët, duke dhënë një aureolë shqetësuese dhe e lëvizur; dielli nuk ka lindur ende dhe nuk ka drita pranë, megjithatë këtu është një djalë me uniformën e shkollës dhe çantën e tij në heshtje duke mbyllur derën e përparme. Ai fillon të largohet nga shtëpia e tij shpejt, atmosfera e shqetësuar që e rrethon atë ngadalë duke u larguar nga larg sa më larg, shpatullat e tensionuara dhe duke u pakësuar në një paranojë të lehtë.

Ai ka një shenjë mbi sy, ngjyra e kuqe që e bën të qartë kundër lëkurës së tij të zbehtë. Ai mori këtë shenjë në të njëjtën kohë që humbi nënën dhe gjysmë motrën e tij, përplasja me makinë ishte brutale, vetëm ai dhe një nga pasagjerët e tjerë që kishin mbijetuar.

Ai i mban sytë larg nga dritat e verbëra që kalojnë çdo herë kur ai ecën në trotuar, paranoja e tij duke u zhdukur sa më afër Pellgut Të Bingham-it. Ai gjen një vend larg rrugës, duke vënë çantën e tij poshtë ndërsa sheh mjellmat dhe rosat e përgjumura. Një buzëqeshje e vogël nderon tiparet e tij siç e mban mend kur ai dhe nëna E tij, Liz, vinin këtu herët në mëngjes për të folur dhe parë lindjen e diellit para shkollës; buzëqeshja e tij zhdukej sa më shpejt që kishte arritur, kur e kuptoi se mund të vinte vetëm këtu tani. Ai gjithmonë mund t'i kërkonte njerkut Të Tij Alek të vinte me të, por kishte frikë nga çdo përgjigje që Dha Aleku, veçanërisht tani që ai ishte i vetmi që i mbijetoi përplasjes së makinës.

Në një përpjekje për të shkundur mendimet e tij nga e kaluara ai shikon prapa tek mjellmat, admiron bukurinë e tyre në ujin e errët. Disa rrezet e para të diellit fillojnë të shkëlqejnë në qiellin e zbehtë, një fllad i lehtë që e bën atë të dridhet pasi ai nuk ka xhaketë uniforme që kushton para shtesë. Ndërkohë që ai ulet dhe përkulet kundër një peme ai e shuan dhimbjen që i ndez në shpinë para se ta shkundte dhe ta tërhiqte çantën drejt tij, duke zbërthyer metalin ngrirës dhe duke u afruar, duke tërhequr një dosje që përmban detyra shtëpie të pambaruara.; shumë prej tyre ishin rrënuar e lotë, edhe pse ai i mbante në dosje. Duke liruar një psherëtimë të lodhur dhe të dëshpëruar, ai filloi të punonte, duke filluar me emrin e tij, 'Arçer Carlisle', duart e tij të ftohta po e bëjnë më të vështirë për të shkruar dhe për të parë dritat e rëndimit nëpër sytë e tij, ndërsa ai e di se nuk do t'i bëjë të gjitha këto detyra shtëpie përpara shkollës; frikë mbushjes së tij me mendimin për t'i treguar Alekut për klasën e keqe edhe pse detyra e tij të pambaruara dhe të shqyera ishte faji I Alekut. Me një psherëtimë tjetër ai u kthye në punë, duke u përpjekur për të përfunduar sa më shpejt dhe sa më saktë të jetë e mundur.

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Ka kaluar një javë që kur më thanë për vdekjen e tij, e dija që nuk mund të rrija në Shtëpinë tonë të rehatshme Të Ohajos, veçanërisht që kur Rykeri e ndërtoi atë; vetëm se duke hyrë nga dera më bëri të vjellë duke e ditur se nuk do ta shoh më kurrë.

Funerali ishte dje pasdite... Fustani i zi që kisha veshur tani është një grumbull hiri gri në zjarr. Vajza Ime Liseta shkoi me mua, ishte një ditë me erë me një spërkatje shiu të hedhur në tokë jashtë; duket se bota madje po vajtonte për humbjen, por kjo është ndoshta vetëm unë që po i vë gjërat e thjeshta. Djali Im Alonso e mori vdekjen e babait te tij shume fort, e di se sa afer ishin, dhe duke pare djalin tim duke qajtur beri nje lot permes fasadës time te fuqise, por me duhej ta fshija shpejt teksa perqafoja djalin tim duke qajtur. E qara e tij zgjati për një orë, Liseta filloi të qante, gjithashtu kur pa formën që dridhej Nga e imja. Atë natë ndenja me ta në dhomën e tyre, ulur në dysheme në mes dy shtretërve të tyre, një dorë është kapur në secilën nga të miat siç u thashë histori për t'i joshur ata për të fjetur. Kur e dija që ata ishin në gjumë, vazhdova t'i mbaja duart e tyre, duke u anuar kokën time pas murit të drurit teksa shikoja lart në tavan, drita nga hëna duke krijuar hijet e degëve të pemëve në murin e kundërt. Thjesht u ula aty, duke menduar për telefonatat që bëra ditën që mora lajmet.; deri javën tjetër, ajo që ka mbetur nga familja ime do të jetë në vilën Tonë Skoceze, larg nga këtu, larg tij.

Akoma duhet t'u them fëmijëve, nuk jam i sigurt si t'u them që po largohemi, nga gjithçka që na kujton babain e tyre. Unë vetëm mund të shpresoj se ata nuk do të përbuzë mua për këtë vendim, por vetëm duke qëndruar në këtë shtëpi shkakton mendjen time për të enden në një drejtim unë nuk do të lejojë veten për të shkuar në.

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Zilja bie me zë të lartë ndërsa unë ngutem në derën e mbylljes së klasës sime, duke shikuar në dhomë unë i shoh të gjithë të ulur dhe mësuesi duke më shikuar me vëmendje. Duke ulur vështrimin tim, shtroj detyrat e shtëpisë dhe kthej faqet e përfunduara në kosh para se të kaloj në tavolinën e mësuesit tim për të arritur sediljen time, duke shmangur vështrimin e tij dhe të gjithë të tjerëve gjatë gjithë kohës.

E di që nuk duhet të trembem nga mësuesit e mi, Por Z. Currai ka të njëjtin zë të ashpër si Aleku, dhe nuk mund të ndihmoj por të jem i shqetësuar sa herë që shkel në klasën e tij; rregullat e tij strikte dhe frikësuese nuk më ndihmojnë saktësisht kur përpiqem të bëj dallimin me të dy.

Z. Currai po më shikon nga kompjuteri i tij, unë gëlltis nervozisht dhe ndaj pak në sediljen time ndërsa shikoj poshtë në letrën që kam vendosur me delikatesë mbi tavolinën time. Biseda e qetë e klasës kishte rifilluar disa momente më parë, por u ndal shpejt kur Z.Currai shtyu figurën e tij të anuar nga tavolina e tij dhe eci në kohën e parë të klasës.

"Z. Carlisle, dëshiron t'i shpjegosh klasës pse u vonove? Përsëri."Dënimi i tij i parë mospëlqyes kundërshtoi shumë fjalimin e tij të ashpër 'përsëri'. Në mënyrë të pandërgjegjshme unë e ul kokën time si klasa është e heshtur, klasa të tjera mund të qeshin, por ata nuk e dinë për të bërë shaka në këtë klasë.

E tund kokën ' jo ' i besoj plotësisht zërit tim për t'iu përgjigjur pa belbëzuar.

"Nuk të dëgjoj, Arçer. Mund t'ia shpjegosh klasës pse u vonove."Zëri i tij i mprehtë, i theksuar ra kundër heshtjes dhe nuk la vend për të shmangur pyetjen e tij. E di që po më shikon teksa pret përgjigjen e tij. Më në fund e shikoj atë, duke u përgjigjur qetësisht ndërsa shikimi im dridhet vazhdimisht midis tij dhe tavanit.

"Fjeta shumë, zotëri, nuk do të lejoj që të ndodhë përsëri."U përpoqa të prezantoja një fytyrë të qetë për ta ndaluar atë që të më thërrasë përsëri, mendja ime brenda po shtien me mendime në se ai do të pranojë justifikimin apo jo. Një e dytë kalon para se ai të kthehet në tabelën e bardhë dhe të fillojë të shkruaj, të gjithë shpejt kopjojnë atë poshtë në fletoret e tyre, biseda duket se është harruar. Mendimi i shqetësimit vazhdoi të më acaronte në kokë se ai e dinte se justifikimi im ishte i rremë, por nuk kisha kohë për të dhënë atë ndonjë spidim pasi unë isha tashmë duke mbetur pas shënimeve, dhe lëndimi im i fundit i dorës nuk do të përfitonte as nga unë.

Klasa përfundoi më në fund, shumica e njerëzve ishin paketuar dhe po prisnin tek dera për zilen, vetëm pak njerëz ishin ulur në tavolinat e tyre. I vë detyrat e shtëpisë në dosjen e tyre, dhe e vendos bllokun tim në çantën time. E arrij dosjen kur një dorë tjetër e kap në fillim, një dorë që nuk i takon asnjë studenti. I mbaj sytë lart para se të shikoj poshtë në tavolinë, Ishte Z. Currai ai që po mbante dosjen e detyrave të shtëpisë, ai po anonte mbi tavolinë ndërsa po kalonte nëpërmjet dosjes së hapur tani.

"E dini, organizata dhe kujdesi juaj nuk rritet kur ju ktheheni në letra të shqyera."Ai pohon se ndërsa mbyll ngadalë dosjen, duke e mbajtur atë jashtë për mua që ta marr, gjë që e ndjek shpejt, duke e vendosur atë në çantën time.

"Do të më thuash arsyen e vërtetë pse duket gjithmonë se je vonuar?"Z. Curraig pyetje, zëri i tij normalisht i zhurmshëm dhe i ashpër tani është më i qetë dhe që përmban një aluzion shqetësimi. Kanë kaluar disa momente dhe duhet të përgjigjem kur të zërojë.,

"Arçer, nëse ke një arsye të vërtetë se pse je vonë, e kuptoj, por nuk mund t'i pranoj më këto justifikime të rreme. Kjo është hera e 10-të që je vonuar. Nëse nuk mund të më japësh një arsye të vërtetë atëherë më duhet të të dënoj."Zëri i tij nuk ishte kurrë shumë i rreptë apo i ashpër gjatë dënimit, duke patur më shumë një ton paralajmërues ndaj tij, por e gjitha që mund të grumbulloj është të tund kokën ngadalë' jo ' ndërsa shikoj lart për të takuar vështrimin e tij. Z. Curraig thjesht pret një sekondë para se të lëshojë një psherëtimë të eksperuar dhe të largohet nga tavolina.

"Mos u vono për paraburgim Z. Carlisle."Është e vetmja gjë që thotë ai para se të kthehet në tavolinën e tij, zilja e ziles dhe studentët që nxitojnë të dalin nga dera, unë ndjek menjëherë që të mos vonohem në mësimin tim të ardhshëm. Mendimet e mia për pjesën tjetër të ditës janë të mjegulluara se si Do të reagojë Aleku kur të kthehem vonë në shtëpi, si do të reagojë kur t'i them se kam dënim përsëri. Pellgjet e tmerrshme në gjoksin tim, e bëjnë të ndihen të shtrënguara dhe ajri mbytet ndërsa unë e kaloj ditën.

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Ditën e parë në shtëpinë tonë të re, ishte një vilë që e kishin prindërit e mi dhe unë e trashëgova. Larg Nga Ohajo, larg Nga Rykeri, Deri në Glasgou, Skoci, i vendosur në një zonë të mirë me fushat e gjelbëra dhe një mur guri që e rrethon me kujdes.

Liseta dhe Alonso e kishin marre levizjen me mire se sa e prisja, duket se ata donin te largoheshin aq sa une. Kisha thirrur përpara që të sigurohesha që vila ishte gati kur mbërritëm, dhe një mik i prindërve të mi do të vinte të shikonte fëmijët e mi që kur më duhet të shkoj në punën time sa më shpt të jetë e mundur. Duke vrapuar nga shtëpia, i jap një përqafim shokut, shpejt duke deklaruar se do të jem në shtëpi para se të garoj tek makina Ime Me qira Volksvagen. Lidhëset e çantave që përdredhin teksa përpiqem të vendos gjithçka në makinë, shpejt e fus në ndenjësen e pasagjerit para se të rregulloj pasqyrat dhe të nisem për në punën time të re.

Retë gri të shpërndara në qiell më kujtojnë shumë shtëpi, por ky qytet i zënë është pikërisht ajo që unë kam nevojë për të marrë larg nga jeta ime e vogël e qytetit. Të ngasësh në anën e majtë është shumë e çuditshme, diçka që do të mësohej me të.

Kur hyra në parking vura re se shkolla është afër fundit të ditës, shpresoj të mos më pushojnë as para se të filloj. Shpejt duke dalë nga dera e zyrës, rregulloj qëndrimin dhe këmishën para se të shkoj në tavolinë dhe të pohoj se jam mësuesi i ri i shkencës. Gruaja buzëqesh para se t'i telefonojë dikujt, mendoj drejtori ose ndoshta një mësues tjetër.

Pas pritjes për rreth 2 minuta, dera e zyrës hapet me zë të lartë, një njeri i gjatë me flokë të trashë ngjyrë kafe dhe një shtat frikësues futet brenda, duke i dhënë një tundje të vogël gruas para se të më afrohet mua. Ngrihem dhe i jap dorën e ofruar.

"Përshëndetje, Unë jam Z. Curriagh ose Aric, jam këtu për t'ju shoqëruar në klasën tuaj."Zëri i tij ka një theks të trashë për të, diçka që do të më duhet të mësohem gjithashtu tani që kur jetoj në Skoci. Qëndrimi i tij frikësues duket se kontraston me buzëqeshjen miqësore që ofron ai.

"Gëzohem Që të njoha Ariç, Jam i Trishtuar."Unë me edukatë përgjigjem përpara se ai të më nxjerrë nga zyra dhe poshtë korridorit.

"Pra, ti je mësuesi i ri i shkencës?"Ai shpreh kureshtje të vogël, duke vazhduar të lundrojë në sallat bosh.

"Po, çfarë mëson?"Unë vë në dyshim, duke ecur më shpejt për të mbajtur ritmin e tij të mprehtë.

"Oh mua? Unë gjithmonë kam qenë një person letërsie."Reagimi i tij bën që të duket një buzëqeshje e vogël, fakti se njerëzit këtu janë kaq të mirë dhe mikpritës është diçka që unë e adhuroj. Ne kemi ardhur në një ndalesë pas një tjetër momenti të ecjes.

"Epo, kjo është klasa jote, edhe pse erdhe pak vonë."Ai shpjegon ndërsa ne shohim studentët që paketojnë çantat e tyre. Nëse lëshoj një psherëtimë të qetë, sigurisht që do të më mungonte e gjithë dita e parë e punës sime.

"Mos u shqetësoni për humbjen e klasës tuaj, ju mund të vini për të ndihmuar me paraburgimin ose për të eksploruar terrenin."Ariç pohon se ndërsa ai hedh sytë nga dritarja tek unë, unë do të përgjigjem kur zilja të bjerë me zë të lartë, duke i bërë jehonë përmes sallave bosh përpara se dyert e klasës të hapen dhe studentët të dalin. Ne të dy qëndrojmë pranë dritares deri në klasën time të qetë përsëri, vetëm disa studentë qëndrojnë rreth, ndërsa disa janë vetëm duke përfunduar paketimin.

Ariç kthehet të më flasë përsëri kur shikimi i tij kthehet pas meje, britma e tij e papritur më befason, dhe shpejt kthehem të shoh fajtorin.

Një djalë i ri me flokë të errët ngjyrë kafe menjëherë ndalon, sytë e tij shkojnë gjerë nga të bërtiturat, krahun e tij shtrënguar mbi librin e tij të shtrënguar në gjoksin e tij.

"Arçer. Dënimi është në drejtimin tjetër."Ariç pohon ndërsa shkon tek studenti. Do të prisja që çdo student të ishte nervoz që të thirrej nga një mësues, por ky student, Arçer, u duk i tmerruar plotësisht.

Para Se Arçeri të mund të përgjigjet, Ariç fillon të flasë përsëri. "Kjo është hera e dytë që po përpiqesh të kapërcesh paraburgimin, Arçer."Duke dhënë një pushim të vogël ndërsa ai pret për një përgjigje, pasi nuk ka marrë asnjë, ai lëshoi një psherëtimë irritimi para se të deklaronte," Eja me Mua Arçer."Duke filluar të më kthehet pas, Arçer, duke ndjekur disa hapa prapa me sytë e tij të stërvitur në dysheme.

"Më vjen keq që e shkurtova turneun tuaj, por më duhet ta shoqëroj këtë student në paraburgim."Ariç thotë se ai shikon Prapa Arçerit.

"Mjaft mirë Ariç, të vjen keq nëse vij me ty? E humba ditën time të parë pas së gjithash."Unë pyes, duke i vështruar Arçer, sytë e tij nuk kanë lëvizur nga dyshemeja gjatë gjithë kohës. Ariç shkurtimisht e tund kokën para se të çojë në paraburgim. Unë shpejt ndjek, duke u përpjekur për të mbajtur lart, duke dëgjuar si Aric përshkruan pjesët e shkollës që ne kalojmë nëpër.

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Kush është ky person? A është ajo mësuesi i ri? Ajo tha se e humbi ditën e parë këtu, dhe mësuesi ynë i ri për shkencën nuk ishte në gjendje të vinte.

Ngre kokën lart, sytë e mi duke e parë atë për një moment dhe mendoj nëse duhet të pyes apo jo. Më në fund duke i dhënë kuriozitetit, pyes, "a jeni ju mësuesi i ri i shkencës?"Çështja ime duket se i tremb ata të dy nga biseda e tyre e vogël, Z. Currai tani i heshtur ndërsa pres reagimin e saj. Ajo kthehet tek unë dhe ofron një buzëqeshje miqësore para se të përgjigjet, "po, ky jam Unë, Ju mund të më thërrisni Znj Monroe."Reagimi i saj është i këndshëm por i shkurtër dhe zëri i saj u duk të lëkundej pak kur tha mbiemrin e saj, duke e bërë kokën time të përkulet kaq pak në konfuzion ndaj hezitimit të saj për të folur mbiemrin e saj.

"Gëzohem Që ju njoh Znj. Monro, unë quhem Arçer."Unë përgjigjem, zëri im duket më i sigurt dhe më i fortë se toni im normal, ndonse mezi e mendoj atë. Për çfarë kohe ka mbetur nga shëtitja deri në dënim, e kalova duke folur me Znj Monroe, nuk e di pse, por ajo dukej e lehtë për të folur me të, mund të kishte qenë nga qëndrimi dhe lartësia e saj jo frikësuese, ose ndoshta që ajo të më kujtonte nënën time, të dy të cilat janë të besueshme.

Po flisnim për librin që po mbaja kur Z.Currai u ndal, dhoma e paraburgimit mbahet përpara nesh. E kap dorën, e harroj menjëherë dëmtimin e dorës, derisa të çliroj një hungërimë dhimbje, menjëherë duke e tërhequr kyçin e dorës dhe duke e mbajtur në kraharor si agoni e ashpër që përmbyt sistemin tim, duke më kujtuar të djeshmen.

Z. Curraigh dhe Znj Monroe duken të tronditur nga shpërthimi im i papritur i dhimbjes, Znj Monroe është gati për të thënë diçka, por unë nuk kam kohë të mendoj, duke u penguar mbrapsht unë kthehem pak dhe iki. Unë shkoj në vendin e vetëm ku ndihem i sigurt, Pellgu I Bingamit, apo Pellgu I Mjellmave siç thoshte nëna ime; vetëm duke kujtuar se shkakton një valë ankthimi për të kaluar përmes trupit tim, të gjitha këto gjëra që vazhdojnë të ndodhin janë shumë dërrmuese. Në fillim humbas nënën dhe motrën në një aksident me makinë, pastaj njerku im(i cili tashmë nuk më pëlqeu) më fajëson mua për këtë, dhe tani kam një mësues që më kujton saktësisht nënën time, thjesht nuk e di se si duhet të ndjehem ose të përgjigjem për këto situata më. Jam kaq i zënë me këto mendime pjellore dhe dhimbje, saqë nuk i dëgjoj hapat që po më afrohen. Ishte dora e papritur në supin tim ajo që më bëri të gulçoja në prani të një personi tjetër. Shpejt po e kthej kokën, pres të shoh Z. Curraig ose ndoshta Alek, por në vend të kësaj jam takuar nga buzëqeshja e trishtuar E Znj Monroe ndërsa ajo strukej pranë meje. Duke kapur dorën e saj për kyçin tim të dorës, unë përkulem, por pas një sekonde tjetër e lejoj të shohë kyçin tim, duke injoruar pasojat e mundshme që ajo të dyshonte se si e kam duruar këtë plagë.

Ishte një zgjerim i vogël i syve të saj që më bëri të ndiqja vështrimin e saj, zgjodha të mos shikoja kurrë plagët e mia, kështu që pashë kyçin tim të fryrë dhe të nxirë sytë e mi për tu zgjeruar. Ajo prek lehtë kyçin tim të dorës dhe unë menjëherë largohem, dhimbja përvëluese në krahun tim. Ajo duket të ulet aty në një moment mendimi, sikur po mendon atë që duhet të thotë.

"Arçer. Si ndodhi kjo?"Ja ku ishte, e vetmja gjë që nuk doja të dëgjoja. E tund kokën dhe vështroj larg, vetëm tani e kuptoj se disa lot më ishin derdhur në fytyrë, duke i fshirë shpejt me dorën time të lirë. Nuk i përgjigjem refuzimit tim, kështu që vështrova Mbrapa, duke parë Edhe Znj Monroe duke mbajtur lotë, pse, nuk e di. Duke e dridhur kokën e saj, ajo e shtyn veten jashtë dyshemesë, dhe arrin një dorë për mua, të cilën unë ngadalë e marr. Tani duke qëndruar unë e pastroj veten me dorën time të mirë, duke mbajtur lirshëm çantën time të shpinës ndërsa pres pyetjet e saj.

E vetmja gjë që ajo bën është, që duket të tundë kokën për vete, para se të lëviz që unë ta ndjek atë. Ajo më çon në shkollë, kurrë nuk më flet dhe nuk më shikon, duke vështruar me ngulm, pothuajse bosh. Ajo më çon në dhomën e mjekësisë dhe më thotë të pres te dera ndërsa ajo largohet për të biseduar me një infermiere. Pyes veten se çfarë po thotë ajo, a dyshon ajo se njerku im i ka shkaktuar këto plagë? Apo mendon se një student tjetër ma bëri këtë? A duhet të vrapoj deri sa ende e kam shansin? Mendimet e mia befasohen teksa Edhe Znj. Monro dhe infermierja vijnë tek unë, nervozizmi im që shkelmon në një person tjetër që është i pranishëm.

U përpoqa të mos i kushtoja vëmendje ndezjes së dhimbjes ndërsa infermierja më mbështolli kyçin e dorës në një qese akulli, i ftohti i ftohtë që më bën të dridhem ndërsa moti jashtë ishte tashmë i ftohtë. Pas disa minutave të ngrirjes së dorës ajo sjell një fasho të ngjeshur, snuggly mbështjell kyçin tim dhe dorën, dhimbja është pakësuar, por mban një dhimbje të qëndrueshme që rrethon gjithë krahun tim. Kur mbaron më jep udhëzime për ditë, dhe një shënim për klasën që ishte dora ime e shkrimit.

Duke u futur tek dera, e pashë Znj. Monro duke pritur atje, buzëqeshja e saj miqësore u zëvendësua nga një pamje serioze dhe e ashpër, që i bën hapat e mia pak më ngurruese. Do të largohemi nga dhoma e mjekësisë dhe do të dalim në korridorin e qetë dhe të shkretë, fytyra e saj është ende serioze sa të ndalemi të dy.

"Si E gjete Atë Harkëtar plagosur?""Nuk ishte një çështje, por diçka që kërkoi një përgjigje, një të cilën isha jashtëzakonisht hezitues ta jepja. Duke e tundur fytyrën time larg saj unë tund kokën' jo ' përsëri, nuk dua t'i them të vërtetën, gjëmim mendor se do të shkaktojë më shumë dhimbje se të mirë, edhe nëse ajo do të më besonte mua askush tjetër nuk do ta bënte.

"Arçer, nëse nuk më thua, atëherë do më duhet t'i them zyrës të telefonojë babanë tënd."Pohon ajo, zëri i saj që humbet disa nga ashpërsia e saj ndërsa përpiqet të më bëjë të përgjigjem.

Duke dëgjuar thirrjen E saj Alek babai im i bën të gjitha këto ndjenja të shpërthejnë, zemërimi im po rrjedh lirisht, dhe unë nuk mund të ndihmoj por të reagoj kaotikisht, "AI NUK është BABAI im!"Bërtitja ime i bën jehonë korridorit, heshtja e lënë pas saj është e parehatshme, e gjithë ai besim i shtyrë nga inati lë shpejt trupin tim ndërsa nxjerr. Ajo nuk është budalla, ajo do të kuptoj se çfarë po ndodh, unë do të marrë larg nga shtëpia ime, vendi i fundit që më kujton mamanë dhe motrën time.

Qëndrimi i saj duket se u forcua pasi e dëgjoi përgjigjen time, unë vetëm mund të shpresoj se ajo nuk do të jetë e zemëruar me shpërthimin tim.

"Do të të pyes edhe një herë. Kush e bëri këtë."Zëri i saj ishte shumë i qetë, dënimi i dytë u shkëput ashpër dhe nuk la vend për justifikime. Më në fund përballem me të, edhe pse koka ime është ende e ulur, sytë i dridhen asaj aq shpesh sa mendoj se çfarë do të them.

"....Alek."Zëri im praktikisht pëshpërit, edhe pse e di që e dëgjoi dhe e di se dikush tjetër e di këtë sekret më bën të ndjehem... vulnerabël.

Sinnelose Realiteit(Afrikaans)

Dit was vroeg op'n donderdag oggend toe sy ontvang die verskriklike nuus dat haar man is dood.

Sy het gewonder waarom hy nie terugkeer huis laaste nag, selfs wag deur die selfoon, uiteindelik hom roep, maar nooit ontvang'n antwoord.

Sy het net geloop het haar kinders, Lisette en Alonso, hul lang oprit na die skool bus wag, saggies waai totsiens as dit luidrugtig weggery, uiteindelik laat haar glimlag en hand val as die bus het uit die oog. Draai terug na die huis loop sy besef die voëls is besonder stil, abnormaal so, dit het die stilte ongemaklik as wat sy was vasgevang met haar eindelose gedagtes; nie eens die wind huppelend die blare was so hard soos gewoonlik. Sy stryk haar swart gevleg hare na die kant voor pluk onrustig op die moue van haar blou-grys trui, styf wikkel haar arms om haar liggaam as sy het begin om die loop terug huis toe, luister nou na die crunch onder haar skoene, haar gedagtes nog dwaal in die verwarring oor waar haar man, Ryker, was. 'n paar stappe weg van haar stoep sy vertraag haar loop as sy hoor die geluid van'n motor, haar wankelrige stappe effens as sy omdraai, die onthulling van die staan-uit die swart-en-wit patroon van'n Belmont, Ohio die polisie die motor ry in die rigting van haar. Die glans teen die voorruit van die grys lug het dit onmoontlik gemaak om te sien wat jy ry, laat haar onseker is of om te voel oorstelp van vreugde of ontstelde op dit se verbasing voorkoms.

Die digter dit gery het die haar hart vinniger klop, neem in vlakker asem as sy kyk na die motor trek na'n stop'n paar meter weg. Haar hande onbewustelik wring mekaar as sy gewag het vir die motor deur te swaai oop, skielik voel ongemaklik warm, selfs al was dit redelik koud. Sy het geweet van die gevare haar man was in danke aan sy lyn van werk, en het geweet dat hy kon beseer word of gedood op enige oproep-uit, maar niks sou haar voor te berei vir die moedeloos kyk op die beamptes gesig as hy klim uit die motor.

Ryker was op die oproep met sy vennoot vir'n breek en betree in'n residensiële sone, die kriminele gegaan het uit die rug en afgeronde die huis te kom agter hulle as wat hulle gegaan het om te gaan deur die busted deur, skiet beide paar keer in die rug voor die loop. Die polisie is tans op soek na hom, maar het net twee getuies, een wat bijhorend hom as hy het begin om te breek maak hul deure oop, en'n buurman wat gesien het wat gebeur het en het die polisie.

As die beampte verduidelik wat gebeur het haar gedagtes het leeg, die reeds gedemp geraas van die bos heeltemal verdwyn en dat die ongemaklike hitte skielik verdwyn, die verlaat van haar liggaam in plaas daarvan voel leeg. Sy het gou gevind haarself gedwing om terug in die werklikheid toe die beampte het bereik uit om haar aan te raak skouer, dit was nie onbeskof of onwelkome aangesien hierdie beampte was baie goeie vriende met haarself en Ryker, maar die skielike en onverwagse kontak geskok haar genoeg te ruk haar skouer weg en neem'n stap terug. Hy het onmiddellik onttrek sy arm, sy oë gegooi af na die vloer, terwyl sy aangebreek'n jammer kyk as sy besef haar optrede.

Sy ten slotte gesê, "ek is jammer Carter, ek-ek voel net effens oorweldig op die oomblik."Haar stem timidly stil, 'n effense hakkel as sy probeer om te verstaan en beheer al die emosies skielik loop deur haar. 'n blik van die begrip spoel oor sy gesig voor knik sy kop plegtig en draai terug na sy motor, "Totsiens Saden."Carter het, bied'n kort, hartseer glimlag voordat versterking in sy motor en ry af.

Daar is baie gedagtes gedruis deur Saden se kop, al die nuus nie slaan haar ten volle nie. Met haar verstand racing sy stadig haar pad gemaak in haar kajuit huis, sluit die deur voor te rus haar voorkop hard teen die lood hout, gee haar een oomblik van vrede voor stoot af en op pad na die telefoon om te maak'n paar van die oproepe.

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Die huis is donker, gee af'n ontstellende en verwarring aura; die son nie opgestaan het nie en geen ligte in die buurt, maar hier is'n seuntjie met sy skool uniform en rugsak op stil-stil die sluiting van die voordeur. Hy begin loop weg van sy huis vinnig, die angstige atmosfeer rondom hom stadig verkwis die verdere hy het, sy gespanne skouers en op die rand kyk vermindering van om net effense paranoia.

Hy het'n litteken bo sy oog, die ietwat rooi kleur maak dit voor die hand liggend teen sy bleek vel. Hy het hierdie litteken dieselfde tyd wat hy verloor sy ma en half-suster, die motor-ongeluk was wreed, net hom en een van die ander motors passasiers na oorleef.

Hy skakerings sy oë weg van die verblindende hoofligte wat slaag deur elke so dikwels as wat hy loop af in die sypaadjie, sy paranoia verdwyn die nader hy nader Bingham se Dam. Hy vind'n plek weg van die pad, die opstel van sy sak af as hy neem die sluimerende swane en eende. 'n klein glimlag genades van sy funksies as hy onthou toe hy en sy ma, Liz, sou hier kom vroeg in die oggend om te praat en kyk na die sonsopkoms voor die skool; sy glimlag verdwyn so vinnig as wat dit aangekom het as hy besef hy kan net kom hier nou alleen. Hy kan altyd vra sy stap-pa Alec om te kom met hom, maar hy gevreesde enige reaksie Alec het, veral nou dat hy was die enigste een om te oorleef die motor te crash.

In'n poging om te skud sy gedagtes weg van die afgelope hy kyk terug na die swane, bewonder hul skoonheid teen die donker water. Die eerste paar son strale begin te gloei teen die dowwe lug, 'n effense briesie wat veroorsaak dat om hom te bewe as hy het geen eenvormige baadjie sedert daardie koste ekstra geld. As hy gaan sit en leun teen'n boom hy winces op die pyn opvlam in sy rug voor skud dit af en trek sy sak na hom, unbuckling die bevriesing metaal en die bereiking van in, trek uit'n gids met onvoltooide huiswerk; baie van hulle het crumples en trane selfs al het hy het hulle netjies in'n gids. Vrystelling van'n moeë en bitter sug hy begin werk, begin met sy naam, "het Archer Carlisle", sy koue hande maak dit moeiliker om te skryf en'n blik van verswaring flitse deur sy oë as hy weet dat hy nie sal kry al hierdie huiswerk gedoen voor die skool; vrees vul hom by die gedagte van om te sê Alec oor die slegte graad selfs al is sy onvoltooide en verskeur huiswerk was Alec se skuld. Met'n ander sug hy het weer aan die werk, probeer om te voltooi as baie van dit so vinnig en so akkuraat as moontlik.

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Dit was'n week sedert ek was vertel oor sy dood, het ek reeds geweet het wat ek kon nie bly in ons gemaklike Ohio huis, veral sedert Ryker dit gebou het; net loop deur die deur het'n walglike gevoel om oor my was om te weet dat ek sal hom nooit weer sien.

Die begrafnis was gister middag... Die swart rok wat ek gedra het, is nou'n hopie grys as in die firepit. My dogter Lisette het saam met my, dit was'n winderige dag met'n sprinkel van die reën afstof die grond buite, blyk dit dat die wêreld was selfs rou oor die verlies, maar dit is waarskynlik net vir my om betekenis in die eenvoudige dinge. My seun Alonso het die dood van sy vader baie moeilik, ek weet hoe naby hulle was, en sien my seun huil het'n traan breek deur middel van my fasade van krag, maar ek het om te vinnig vee dit weg as ek omhels my geween seun. Sy huil geduur het vir'n uur, Lisette begin om te huil as goed wanneer sy sien Al se skud vorm word getroos deur die myn. Daardie aand het ek het saam met hulle in hul kamer, sit op die vloer matte tussen hul twee beddens, een hand onder die knie in elkeen van my as ek jou vertel hulle stories na die stilte van hulle aan die slaap. Wanneer ek geweet het hulle was aan die slaap, ek het voortgegaan om hul hande te hou, leun my kop terug teen die hout muur as ek staar na die plafon, die lig van die maan die skep van skadu van die boom takke teen die teenoorgestelde muur. Ek het net sit daar, dink oor die oproepe wat ek gemaak het die dag toe ek die nuus ontvang; teen volgende week, wat is links van my familie sal wees in ons Skotland huis, weg van hier, weg van hom.

Ek het nog steeds nodig om die kinders te vertel, ek is nie seker hoe om te vertel hulle ons is weg te beweeg, weg van alles wat ons herinner van hul vader. Ek kan maar net hoop hulle sal nie verag my vir hierdie besluit, maar net te bly in hierdie huis veroorsaak dat my gedagtes om te dwaal in'n rigting wat ek sal nie toelaat dat my om in te gaan.

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Die klok lui hard as ek haastig in die sluiting van die deur van my klaskamer, en kyk in die kamer rond ek sien almal reeds sit en die onderwyser kyk na my opvallend. Die verlaging van my oë, ek reguit uit my huiswerk en draai-in die messily klaar bladsye aan die mandjie voor traipsing verby my juffrou se lessenaar te bereik my sitplek, vermy sy en almal anders se oë te alle tye.

Ek weet ek moet nie bang wees deur my onderwysers, maar Mnr Curraigh het dieselfde streng stem as Alec, en ek kan nie help nie, maar word angstig wanneer ek stap voet in sy klas; sy streng reëls en intimiderend statuur nie presies my help wanneer ek probeer om te onderskei tussen die twee.

Mnr Curraigh blik van sy rekenaar aan my, ek sluk senuweeagtig en skuif effens in my stoel as ek kyk af na die papier ek delikaat geplaas op my lessenaar. Die klas se stil chatter hervat het'n paar oomblikke gelede, maar is vinnig gestop weer toe Mnr Curraigh stoot sy leun figuur af van sy lessenaar en rustig strided aan die voorkant van die klas.

"Mnr Carlisle, wil om te verduidelik aan die klas hoekom is jy laat is? Weer."Sy nonchalant eerste sin grootliks gekontrasteer sy harde uitspraak van "weer". Onbewustelik het ek my kop laer as die klas is stil, ander klasse kan giggel, maar hulle weet nie om te skroef rond in hierdie klas.

Ek skud my kop " nee " nie ten volle vertrou my stem te beantwoord sonder om te hakkel.

"Ek kan nie hoor jy Archer. Sal jy verduidelik aan die klas hoekom is jy laat is."Sy skerp, aksent stem lui uit teen die stilte en geen ruimte gelaat om te verhoed dat sy vraag. Ek weet hy is op soek na my as hy wag vir sy antwoord. Ek het uiteindelik kyk op na hom, die beantwoording van stil as my blik voortdurend flikker tussen hom en die plafon.

"Ek het verslaap meneer, ek sal nie laat dit weer gebeur nie."Ek het probeer om aan te bied'n kalm gesig om hopelik ophou om hom van my roeping weer uit, my gedagtes binne-in is blêrende met gedagtes of hy sal aanvaar die verskoning of nie. 'n tweede slaag voordat hy loop terug na die witbord en begin skryf, almal vinnig kopieer dit af in hul notaboeke, die gesprek skynbaar vergeet. 'n aanduiding van die bekommer het voortgegaan om te nag in die agterkant van my kop dat hy geweet het my verskoning was'n vals, maar ek het nie tyd gehad om dit te gee enige nadenke as ek was reeds agter die val op die notas, en my onlangse pols besering is nie presies gaan om voordeel te trek my óf.

Die klas het uiteindelik geëindig het, die meeste mense is gepak en wag by die deur vir die klok, net'n paar mense sit by hul lessenaars. Ek snoepie die opgedra huiswerk in hul gids, plaas my notebook in my sak as goed. Ek bereik vir die gids wanneer die ander hand gryp dit die eerste keer, 'n hand wat aan geen student. Ek keek my oë voor vinnig kyk neer op die lessenaar, dit was Mnr Curraigh wat hou my huiswerk gids, hy was leun teen die lessenaar as hy afgeroomde deur die nou oop gids.

"Y'know, jou organisasie en sorg nie optel wanneer jy draai in geruk vraestelle."Hy sê as hy stadig sluit die gids, hou dit vir my uit te neem, wat ek doen vinnig volg deur met, stil plaas dit in my sak.

"Jy wil my vertel die werklike rede hoekom jy altyd lyk om te laat loop?"Mnr Curraigh vrae, sy gewoonlik hard en streng stem nou stiller en met'n wenk van kommer. Dit was'n paar oomblikke en ek het nog nie om te reageer wanneer hy stemme,

"Archer, as jy het'n werklike rede waarom jy is laat, ek verstaan, maar ek kan nie aanvaar hierdie vals verskonings nie. Hierdie is die 10de keer het jy is laat. As jy kan nie gee my'n ware rede dan het ek het om te gee jy aanhouding."Sy stem was nog nooit baie streng of harde regdeur die sin, met meer van'n waarskuwing toon vir dit, maar al wat ek kan uitkry as'n reaksie is om te onrustig skud my kop" nee " as ek kyk op om te voldoen aan sy blik. Mnr Curraigh net vorentoe kyk vir'n sekonde voor die vrystelling van'n bitter sug en druk af van die lessenaar.

"Moenie laat wees vir aanhouding Mnr Carlisle."Is al wat hy sê voor loop terug na sy lessenaar, die klok lui en die studente gedruis uit van die deur, myself volgende onmiddellik as om nie te laat wees om my volgende les. My gedagtes vir die res van die dag is vertroebel met hoe Alec sal reageer wanneer ek by die huis kom laat, hoe hy sal reageer wanneer ek vir hom sê ek het aanhouding weer. Die gevreesde poele in my bors, maak dit voel styf en die lug versmoor as ek strompel deur die dag.

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Eerste dag in ons nuwe huis, dit was'n huisie wat my ouers besit en ek geërf het. Ver weg van Ohio, ver weg van die Ryker, al die pad in Glasgow, Skotland, geleë in'n mooi area met lolling groen velde en'n klip muur netjies rondom dit.

Lisette en Alonso het die skuif beter as wat ek verwag het, sou dit lyk asof hulle wou om weg te kom soveel as wat ek gedoen het. Ek het genoem voor om seker te maak dat die huis is gereed vir wanneer ons aangekom het, en'n vriend van my ouers kom oor om te kyk na my kinders, want ek het om te gaan na my werk so gou as moontlik. Gedruis uit van die huis, het ek vinnig gee die vriend'n drukkie, vinnig met vermelding van die tyd ek sal tuis wees voor wedrenne oor na my gehuur Volkswagen voertuig. My sakke band draai as ek probeer om te plaas alles in die kar, ek het vinnig stoot dit in die passasiersitplek voor die aanpassing van die spieëls en die opskrif af na my nuwe werk.

Die grys wolke rommelstrooi die lug herinner my'n baie van die huis, maar hierdie besige stad is presies wat ek nodig het om te kry weg van my klein dorpie lewe. Ry aan die linkerkant is nogal vreemd, al is, iets wat sal neem sommige gewoond raak aan.

As ek trek in die parkeerterrein ek sien dat die skool is nader aan die einde van die dag, ek hoop ek sal nie afgedank kry voor ek selfs begin. Vinnig struikel deur die kantoor deur, ek reguit my postuur en hemp voor loop na die balie en verklaar ek is die nuwe wetenskap onderwyser. Die vrou glimlag voor bel iemand, ek neem aan die skoolhoof of miskien'n ander onderwyser.

Na wag vir sowat 2 minute, die kantoor deur hard clamors oop, 'n lang man met dik lig bruin hare en'n intimiderende statuur vordering in, gee'n klein knik na die vrou voor nader my. Ek staan op en skud sy aangebied hand.

"Hallo daar, ek is Mnr Curriagh of Aric, ek is hier om jou begelei na jou klas."Sy stem het'n dik aksent aan dit, iets wat ek sal hê om te kry wat gebruik word te nou, aangesien ek woon in Skotland. Sy intimiderend houding blyk te kontras met die vriendelike glimlag hy bied.

"Plesier om jou te ontmoet Aric, ek is Saden."Ek beleefd reageer voor om hom te lei my uit die kantoor en in die gang af.

"So, jy is die nuwe wetenskap onderwyser?"Hy stemme in effense nuuskierigheid, gaan voort om te navigeer die leë sale.

"Ja, wat doen jy leer?"Ek vraag, loop vinniger om tred te hou met sy vinnige tempo.

"O my? Ek het nog altyd'n literatuur persoon."Sy reaksie veroorsaak'n klein glimlag te verskyn, is die feit dat mense hier is so mooi en verwelkoming is iets wat ek aanbid. Ons kom tot stilstand gekom na die ander oomblik van die loop.

"Wel, dit is jou klas, maar jy aangekom het'n bietjie laat."Hy het verduidelik as ons kyk na die studente te pak hul sakke. Ek vrylating van'n stil sug, natuurlik sou ek mis die hele eerste dag van my werk.

"Moenie bekommerd wees oor die vermiste jou klas is, kan jy pop in om te help met die aanhouding of verken die gronde."Aric state as hy flikker sy oë van die venster na my, ek is oor om te reageer wanneer die klok lui hard, eggo deur die leë sale voor die klaskamer deure swaai oop en studente lêer uit. Ons albei staan naby die venster om my klas totdat die sale stil sit weer, slegs'n paar studente staan rond, terwyl sommige is nou net die afwerking van oppak.

Aric beurte om te praat om my weer as sy blik draai na iets agter my, sy skielike skree verrassings my, en ek het vinnig draai om om te sien die skuldige.

'n jong seun met donker bruin hare onmiddellik breek, sy oë gaan wye by geskree, sy arm strenger sy hou om sy boek klou teen sy bors.

"Archer. Aanhouding is in die ander rigting."Aric state as hy loop tot by die student. Ek sou verwag dat enige student om senuweeagtig te wees op wat genoem word deur'n onderwyser, maar hierdie student, Archer, verskyn ronduit vreesbevange.

Voor Archer in staat is om te reageer, Aric begin om weer te praat. "Dit is die tweede keer wat jy het probeer om oor te slaan aanhouding, Archer."Gee'n effense breek as hy wag vir'n antwoord, na ontvangs van niemand hy kom uit'n sug van irritasie voor en sê, "Kom saam met my Archer."Begin om te loop terug na my, Archer sleep'n paar stappe agter met sy oë opgelei op die vloer.

"Ek is jammer om te sny jou toer kort, maar ek het te begelei hierdie student te aanhouding."Aric state as hy kyk terug na Archer.

"Heeltemal in orde Aric, omgee as ek kom met? Ek het mis my eerste dag na alles."Ek vraag, skrams by Archer, sy oë nie verskuif van die vloer die hele tyd. Aric kortliks knik sy kop voor die leiding van die manier om te aanhouding. Ek het vinnig volg, probeer om tred te hou, luister as Aric beskryf die dele van die skool wat ons deurgaan.

------

Wie is hierdie persoon? Is sy die nuwe juffrou? Sy het sê sy mis haar eerste dag hier, en ons nuwe onderwyser vir die wetenskap nie in staat was om te wys.

Ek lig my kop op, my oë het op soek na haar vir'n oomblik as ek oorweeg of ek moet vra my vraag is of nie. Uiteindelik gee in te nuuskierigheid, ek vra, "Is jy die nuwe wetenskap onderwyser?"My vraag blyk te skrik hulle albei uit van hul klein praat, Mnr Curraigh nou stil as ek wag op haar antwoord. Sy draai na my toe en bied'n vriendelike glimlag voor te reageer, "Ja, dit is my, jy kan my bel Mev Monroe."Haar reaksie is mooi maar kort, en haar stem gelyk te wankel effens toe sy sê haar laaste naam, wat veroorsaak dat my kop te kantel ooit so effens in verwarring by haar onwilligheid om te praat haar laaste naam.

"Dit is lekker om jou te ontmoet Mev Monroe, my naam is Archer."Ek het reageer, my stem skynbaar meer selfversekerd en harder as my normale toon, al het ek skaars gee dit'n gedagte. Vir die tyd wat oorgebly het van die loop te aanhouding, ek het dit praat met Mev Monroe, ek weet nie hoekom nie, maar sy was makliker om te praat met, dit kon gewees het van haar nie-intimiderend houding en hoogte is, of moontlik dat sy herinner my aan my ma, beide van wat is geloofwaardig.

Ons praat oor die boek was ek hou wanneer Mnr Curraigh kom tot'n stilstand, die kamer wat aanhouding is gehou in wat reg is in die voorkant van ons. Ek reik uit na gryp die handvatsel, 'n oomblik vergeet oor my pols besering totdat ek die vrylating van'n grunt van pyn, onmiddellik trek my pols terug en hou dit teen my bors as die harde aangrypende gevoel dat vloede my stelsel, wat my herinner van gister.

Beide Mnr Curraigh en Mev Monroe lyk geskok oor my skielike uitbarsting van pyn, Mev Monroe is oor om iets te sê maar ek het geen tyd om te dink, struikel agteruit ek draai effens en hardloop af. Ek gaan na die enigste plek waar ek veilig voel, Bingham se Dam, of Swan Dam as my ma gebruik om te sê, net om te onthou wat veroorsaak dat'n golf van angs te vee deur my liggaam, al hierdie dinge wat gebeur is te oorweldigend. Eers het ek verloor my ma en suster in'n motor-ongeluk, dan is my stap-pa(wat reeds nie van my hou nie) blameer my vir dit, en nou het ek'n onderwyser wat herinner my presies van my ma, ek weet eenvoudig nie hoe ek moet voel of te reageer op hierdie situasies nie. Ek is so vasgevang in hierdie produktiewe gedagtes en seer pyn wat ek versuim om te hoor die voetstappe nader kom. Dit was die skielike hand op my skouer wat veroorsaak het dat my om te snak in verrassing op die teenwoordigheid van'n ander persoon. Vinnig draai my kop het ek verwag om te sien'n woedende Mnr Curraigh of dalk Alec, maar ek is in plaas ontmoet deur Mev Monroe se hartseer glimlag as sy crouches langs my. Om uit te reik haar hand vir my pols ek wankel weg, maar na nog'n tweede toelaat dat haar om te sien my pols, ignoreer die moontlike gevolg dat sy dalk die vraag hoe ek volgehoue hierdie besering.

Dit was die effense verbreding van haar oë wat veroorsaak het dat my om te volg haar blik, ek verkies om nooit kyk na my beserings, so sien my pols al geswel en gekneus oorsake my oë te verbreed sowel. Sy het liggies raak aan my pols en ek het dadelik trek weg, die pyn skroei deur my arm. Sy lyk om daar te sit in'n oomblik van denke, as al oorweeg wat sy moet sê.

"Archer. Hoe het dit gebeur?"Daar was dit, die een ding wat ek nie wil hê om te hoor. Ek skud my kop en kyk weg, nou eers besef dat'n paar trane het gestroom my gesig af, vinnig vee hulle met my vry hand. Ek hoor nie'n reaksie op my weiering so ek kyk terug, sien Mev Monroe trane terug te hou as goed, al is die rede waarom, weet ek nie. Skud haar kop, sy stoot haarself af van die vloer, en bereik'n hand vir my, wat ek stadig neem. Nou staan ek stof myself af met my goeie hand, losweg hou my rugsak as ek wag op haar vrae.

Al wat sy doen is, skynbaar skud haar kop na haarself, voor beduie vir my om haar te volg. Sy lei my terug na die skool, nooit praat of loer na my, net staar vorentoe, byna emptily. Sy neem my na die mediese kamer en vertel my om te wag by die deur as sy loop weg om te gesels met'n verpleegster. Ek wonder wat sy sê, het sy vermoed dat my stap-pa het hierdie beserings? Of dink sy nog'n student het dit gedoen vir my? Moet ek net hardloop terwyl ek nog steeds die kans? My gedagtes is skielik gestop as beide Mev Monroe en die suster loop oor na my, my senuweeagtigheid skop in op'n ander persoon nou teenwoordig.

Ek probeer om nie aandag te gee aan die flare-ups van pyn as die suster toegedraai my pols in'n ys-sak, die ysige koue maak my bewe as die weer buite was reeds koud. Na'n paar minute van die versiersuiker my pols sy bring'n kompressie verband, snoesige wikkel my pols en hand, die pyn verminder nie, maar handhaaf'n bestendige pyn wat rondom my hele arm. Toe sy klaar sy gee my instruksies om te doen elke dag, en'n nota vir die klas om te sien as dit was my die skryf van die hand.

Loop oor na die deur, ek spot Mev Monroe wag daar, haar vriendelike glimlag vervang deur'n ernstige en streng kyk, een wat maak my voetstappe'n bietjie meer huiwerig. Ons verlaat die med kamer, en loop uit in die stil, verlate gang, haar gesig nog steeds ernstig as ons beide stop.

"Hoe het jy daardie besering Archer."Dit was nie'n vraag nie, maar iets wat aangedring het op'n antwoord, die een wat ek was baie huiwerig om te gee. Hengel my gesig weg van haar ek skud my kop " nee " weer, wil nie om haar te vertel die waarheid, my gedagtes blêrende dat dit sou lei tot meer pyn as goed, dat selfs indien sy het glo my, niemand anders sou.

"Archer, as jy nie vertel my, dan sal ek om jou te vertel die kantoor te bel jou pa."Sê sy, haar stem verloor sommige van dit is streng as sy pogings om my te kry om te antwoord.

Hoor haar bel Alec my pa veroorsaak dat al hierdie gevoelens om net ontplof, my woede vloei vrylik, en ek kan nie help nie, maar reageer chaoties, "HY IS NIE MY PA!"My skree echos af in die gang, die stilte het in sy wakker is ongemaklik, al die woede-gedrewe vertroue vinnig laat my lyf as ek uitasem. Sy is nie dom nie, sy gaan om uit te vind wat gaan aan, ek sal geneem word weg van my huis, die laaste plek wat herinner my van die ma en my suster.

Haar houding blyk te versterk na die aanhoor van my reaksie, ek kan net hoop sy sal nie kwaad wees saam met my uitbarsting.

"Ek is net gaan om te vra jy een meer tyd. Wat het dit gedoen."Haar stem was doodse stilte, die tweede sin om hard uiteengesit en laat geen ruimte vir verskonings. Ek het uiteindelik die gesig van haar, maar my kop is nog steeds verlaag, my oë flikker tot haar elke so dikwels as wat ek dink wat ek gaan sê.

"....Alec."My stem feitlik'n fluister, alhoewel ek weet sy het dit gehoor, en die wete dat iemand anders is bewus van hierdie geheim nie net veroorsaak dat my om te voel... kwesbaar.

David Bowie: Sun Rays to Rainy Days

Imagine not liking David Bowie, and running into him during your stay in New York:

David Bowie, an amazing musician and actor, but also my worst enemy.

Why? Let's just say he said some not so flattering things about me to the press and wrote a not so flattering song that criticized pretty much my entire life. We haven't even met in real life, so I'm not sure where he gets off on the idea that anything he says about me holds meaning or truth.

I just really want to ask him what prompted him to write and say such cruel things about me, but I'm getting ahead of myself. My name is Y/N L/N, and I'm an American musician, my genres include hard rock, punk, alternative rock, and art rock; I would say I'm a fairly famous musician in the US and across Europe.

———————

The sky was unrealistically blue this early New York morning, like God had woken up and decided that only the bluest of blue would do today.

Most people enjoy blue skies, but being raised in California makes you either adore or detest them with an undying passion. I personally love rainy weather, so this day is already starting off on the wrong foot.

Checking the clock I sigh in wariness, already feeling tired even though I just woke up. I've been feeling anxious every time I wake up, this only started earlier this year due to the fact that a certain idol of mine has been voicing their negative opinion on me.

I'd normally brush it off and say 'fuck them', but this is David Bowie we're talking about. I love his music, I love his story, most importantly how he went through so many hardships yet still pushed forward.

Now I just regret ever thinking any of this was a good idea, sure all the money is nice, but all my relationships fell through. They started expecting me to pay for everything, wanting me to take them on expensive vacations and get them expensive gifts; now my idol feels the need to hate me as well? Just great.

I'm shook from my thoughts by the stern but smooth voice of my manager. He's a nice man, kind of reminds me of my father in his overall outward aura of professionalism, but a sharp streak of eccentricity shows when you really get to know him.

"Y/N, you've got an interview at 5, that should give you a couple of hours to wander around. Please keep your disguise on this time, I don't need a repeat of London." My manager exclaims with a humorous smile, my face burning in embarrassment at the memory of London. I had been wandering the streets and stupidly decided that it was late enough that no one would be able to recognize me, also being naive and believing I wasn't famous enough to be recognized yet ... Oh how wrong I was. The crowd that formed filled up the streets, I was newly famous, so I didn't expect anyone to recognize me, but the world felt the need to prove me wrong.

"No need to worry, I learned my lesson." I smile sheepishly, he softly pats my shoulder before leaving my hotel room.

Glancing in the mirror I swiftly start fixing my hair and checking my outfit, my mind wandering to my plans. I'm meeting an interviewer today, he's supposed to be a bit of an aggressive one, a little rude from what I've seen, and no questions are out of bounds.

To say I'm a little nervous is an understatement, this is the first interview I've accepted in my 3 years of stardom, so I'm sure he'll be extra aggressive in order to get as many details as possible. I just hope he doesn't bring up the conflict with Bowie, because I really don't have a reason as to how that even started.

———————

My day hasn't actually been that bad, no one has recognized me, so I just got to spend the day as a normal person. I moseyed along the sidewalks, just taking in the hectic environment that is New York. I've been walking around for quite a bit now, stopping in some stores and looking for interesting books to read in my off-time.

I've just bought a sketchbook and some pens when I notice some people that set me on edge. They're about 10 feet away from me, and they're giving me the "is that who I think it is" look. I gulp stiffly as a nervous chill passes down my spine, quickly thanking the cashier as I grab my things and stumble out of the store.

Looking back I can see them follow me, one of them shouting out to me.

"Are you Y/N L/N?" My throat tightens up, I look around frantically, and my fears seem to be coming true. The people on the crowded sidewalks immediately turn their heads at hearing my name. I can see some look for a little, clearly being confused before seeing through my disguise and noticing that it is me.

People start rushing forward, holding out things and excitedly asking for an autograph, something that I usually oblige to, but I am currently in a New York street with no security and no cellphone.

I'm being surrounded, some people are grabbing my shoulders, some pulling on the sleeves of my jacket in the hopes of gaining my attention. All it does is make me frightened, the London event gave me a permanent fear of crowds. I can feel myself start to hyperventilate, all the shouts are turning into one sound, it's so loud yet so quiet at the same time.

My mind is so distorted that I don't even notice I've been running, shoving my way out and being dreadfully aware of how they chase me. Camera flashes are coming from every direction, as are new people fanatically asking for an autograph or a picture; it's all so scary. Why do these people chase me? Why do they swarm around me to get some ink lines on a piece of paper? Why?

I turn a corner in hopes of slickly escaping, but suddenly find myself on the floor, having run into a rather solid chest. I exclaim an apology as I messily stand up, trying to make a run for it, but the person already has a hold on my arms to stop my escape.

"Hold on darling, what are you running from?" I recognize that voice, I look up and want to gasp in both surprise and fear, but the reappearance of the crowd stops me.

"That." I state, staring at the crowd and beginning to hyperventilate again, but I'm stopped when I find myself being swiftly dragged away. I have a hard time keeping up, he is about 5 inches taller than me after all, so he's like one step to every two of mine.

I don't know where he's taking me at first, but when I see the awaiting limo I find myself rushing forward in a burst of speed; dragging him next to me.

He does slap my hand away from the door before opening it and ushering me in before entering.

"Hello John, can you get us out of here." His accented tone is stressed, but still maintains an air of control. I used to love that voice, but now it makes me uncomfortable being so close to him and having to hear him in real life.

I move away from him, pushing myself up against the opposite door and looking at anything but him. The crowd was about 3 yards away when the limo screeched forward, my body finally releasing some of its rigidity as I see them disappear the longer we drive.

I close my eyes, leaning back in my seat as the exhaustion sweeps through me. I rest my hand against my forehead in frustration, in the next hour, all of New York will know I was spotted here and come looking for me. How am I supposed to get in contact with my manager, I don't have a cell, and I can't go asking strangers to borrow theirs.

My mind wants to continue its frustrated tirade, but I am startled out of it by a large hand softly tapping my shoulder. I look over and see a curious David Bowie, offering me a sheepish smile at having distracted me.

"Allo luv." His lovely voice politely rings through the car, I almost want to ask him if he'll write a song with me, but then the harsh reality of everything he's said smacks me in the face.

"Don't call me that." I didn't snap, but my voice was stern, letting him know that this is going to be a tense conversation. His smile falters, clearly not used to being met with such disdain.

"Well... What did you do to get that crowd chasing you?" He brushes off our tense beginning, clearly still curious as to why I was being chased. I glance into his calming eyes and realize he doesn't recognize me, or at least that's what I'm assuming. If he did recognize me, I doubt he would've ushered me into his limo so quickly.

"I don't think we've been formally introduced. My name is Y/N L/N." He raises his eyebrows in surprise at my sudden words, but his face is now cautious, looking at me as though I've just lied straight to his face. Sighing in irritation I pull off my gray fedora and sunglasses before gently removing my wig to show my short hair. He sits back in shock, facing away from me as his eyes fall to his hands.

"... Oh." The car falls back into silence, he clearly doesn't know how to respond. I roll my eyes as I shove the wig into my handbag, hooking the glasses to my shirt before replacing the hat back upon my head. I feel slightly flustered at being saved by him, I should at least thank him, but I think that can wait until I get out of the car.

"...Um. Where would you like me to go, sir?" David looks startled from his haze, quickly glancing to me before back to his driver. He's about to speak when a loud noise startles everyone in the car, closely followed by the sharp hits of water on the windshield. I immediately look out the window, being met with the unexpected view of storm clouds completely filling the once blue sky. I want to smile, I love rain and thunder, but I have no idea what my address is, and I am certainly not dressed for the rain.

"What? Don't like rain Mrs.L/N?" David's irritatingly attractive voice grabs my attention. I look over to him before back to the rain.

"No.. I actually love the rain, and it's Miss, not Mrs." I respond, watching as the rain drops drizzle down the windows. The people on the streets hurriedly running for cover, seemingly as surprised by the rain as I am.

"Drop me off on that street corner, I'll find my way home from there." I say, not looking at David or the driver.

"What do you mean you'll find your way home? Don't you know your address?" David's voice is clearly distressed at the thought of just dropping me off on the corner of a random street. It's my turn to sheepishly smile, scratching the back of my head as I shake my head 'no'. The driver pulls the car over, coming to halt on a quiet street.

I reach my hand over to the handle, but I'm interrupted by David grabbing arm, his grasp gently but firm. His looks so concerned that I almost pity him.

"Don't go, at least let me drop you off at a restaurant or something... " His sentence drops off at the end, clearly hoping I'll give in, but I am in no mood to deal with any of this today. I pull myself from his grasp, opening the door and stepping out; the cold rain sends a refreshing chill down my spine. I turn away, readjusting my hat and bag, much too busy to notice David getting out after me.

"It's much too cold for you out here darling. Let me drop you somewhere safer than this at least." I can tell he's getting desperate at this point, but it really only makes me angry. How dare he say these things to me after bad mouthing me.

"How dare you act like you care about me." My words are unexpected to both of us, I didn't mean to speak my thoughts, but I guess I can't stop now. I turn around and face him, having to look up at his face due to the unfair height difference.

"You say the most awful things about me to the press, you make fun of my music, then you make fun of my life choices? Now you stand here acting all worried about my well-being?" My voice is equally as distressed as his expression, he clearly wasn't expecting my aggressive response. I take a step forward into his personal space, poking my pointer finger harshly against his chest as I glare into his eyes.

"You were one of the people I looked up to. We had never even met when I randomly heard you say I was some whore who somehow worked her way up to the top." My words are slurring, and my eyes are burning a bit. I don't know why I'm getting so emotional, maybe it's because I was so heartbroken at hearing him kick dirt on my name, or maybe it's because I stupidly gave his opinion a place in my mind.

I didn't even notice that my tears had escaped my eyes and were carving paths down my face until he brought his hands up to cup my jaw. His touch was so gentle as he wiped away my tears, so excessively tender I started to think I was made of thin glass that could be snapped in half.

"I was scared... I was scared, okay? And I know that's not an excuse, and I am sorry." His tone feels rushed yet hesitant, like he doesn't want me to even think about running off. I look straight into his eyes, finally seeing the guilt coursing through them in waves.

"Scared? Of what?" I'm so confused, why would he ever be scared of me? I was only barely a celebrity when he said those remarks, I was no threat.

"You... God, I was scared of you Y/N. You and your lovely young face, with your beautiful voice." He smiles, almost as though finally coming to a realization. I want to speak, but he continues.

"You came out of nowhere and took the world for a spin, I know you don't think you're very famous, but the entire world knows your name darling. You did that in such a small amount of time, I couldn't help but feel I would be forgotten. I know that it is a selfish thing to do, but I promise I'll make it right." I still feel unsure,

"How can I ever trust you, I admired you and you shoved that in my face." I back up and away from him, my arms wrapping around my body in search of both comfort and warmth.

"Well, I guess you'll only know if you give me the chance." His expression is so vulnerable and honest, his hair falling slightly into his face as he tilts his head down towards mine.

"Please, darling... Come with me, let me show you I'm not the awful prick you think I am." His surprisingly warm hands enclose around mine, their warmth causing the rest of my body to shiver, finally acknowledging the fact that we've been letting the rain drench our bodies for about 7 minutes now.

All I can do is nod my head as he brings an arm around my shoulders, quickly leading me back to the awaiting car. Helping me first before following after. I shiver weakly, David notices and has our driver turn the heat up, but we both know it'll do very little.

"Oh I'm sorry darling, let me take you back to mine and we'll get you a fresh change of clothes." I don't know why I'm suddenly so quiet, but all I can really do in response is nod my head. I take my wet hat off, tossing it down near my feet before once again wrapping my arms around myself.

———————

David Bowie's POV:

Oh, she looks so small all hunched over and wrapped in herself. I still feel guilty about what I'd said about her, I had no right making any of those claims, it was disgustingly immature what I did. All I know is that I need to make it up to her.

I must admit that I didn't expect to meet her today, I didn't even know she lived in New York.

"Do you live here Y/N? Maybe we could go to yours instead if you prefer?"

"No, I've been in a hotel, only got here 2 days ago and never made the effort to remember it's name." Ah, well, that's good to know. Looking back over to her I see her still shivering, clearly the heater is doing nothing for her. I shrug off my wet coat and shove it to the side before shifting closer to her and wrapping her up in my arms. Her body stiffens at the contact, but I can tell my body warmth is attractive to her from the way she pushes into me.

"Is this alright, love?" I don't know why I keep calling her these pet names, maybe it's because I like making her flustered. I feel her nod her head 'yes', I smile as I rest my head lightly atop hers. We stay like that until we stop in front of my hotel.

Grabbing my jacket I quickly wrap it around her small form, she opens her mouth to protest, but I silence her with my stern gaze. I swipe her hat from her hands and carefully place it atop her head, giving her a gentle smile before hopping out of the car helping her out.

We rush through the rain, laughing as we go, I hold the door open and usher her inside. We look so messy and out of place in this fancy hotel, but I ignore the looks we get, instead opting to gaze adoringly at this spit-fire of a woman I have on my arm. As we get in the elevator and wait for my floor she starts to shrug off my coat, but I quickly grab it and pull it back onto her shoulders.

"Don't, it looks better on you anyways." She drops her head down as she blushes, I can't believe I somehow got her to go from hating me to blushing at my compliments, all I know is that I want to compliment and make her blush for the rest of my life.

I step back from her as the elevator doors open, resting my hand on Y/N's back as I walk her in the direction of my room. The poor girl is still shivering, I hope she finds my clothes to be to her liking.

———————

Y/N's POV:

I'm still trying to wrap my head around how this man, this man who made me feel like absolute shit, now offers me his jacket and compliments that make my face blush a deep rose. I hope this is real, I don't think I can go back to hating him after all of this.

I'm dragged out of my thoughts by him gently pulling me into his room. Carefully slipping off the thick wet coat and hanging it up before turning back to me.

"Alright luv, I'll take you to my room and you can pick the clothes." His voice, God, his voice. I hate to admit it, but hearing his accent in-person just makes him even more attractive. All I can offer him is a gentle nod, his lips turning up into a sweet smile and he grabs my hand, leading me to his room. Opening the closet I see a wide array of clothes, ranging from incredibly posh to walk-out-of-bed to get a glass of milk clothes, I can't help but blush at the thought of him just lazily getting out of bed in the middle of the night for a midnight snack.

"What are you blushing at?" His tone is teasing as he gives me a humorous grin, his shoulder playfully bumping against my own. I can only shake my head in embarrassment as I glance away from him and back to the wardrobe.

"Oh, I can't pick... You choose." I suddenly state, backing up and softly pushing him forward. He seems generally surprised by what I say, but shakes it off as he now thinks about his new task. He rests against the wall and looks at me for a minute or so, just running his eyes across me in an oddly calculating way. He sharply turns away from me and starts rifling through his closet, searching for the perfect clothes, but suddenly stops and turns back to me.

"Don't you have an interview today?" My eyes widened in shock, how could I have forgotten. I glance towards the clock on his bedside table, my interview is in 30 minutes.

"It's in 30 minutes! What am I supposed to do?" I want to cry, this interview is very important publicity for my upcoming album. My eyes burn with tears of frustration, but I find myself distracted by the warm embrace of David, it's oddly comforting.

"Now don't you worry about the clothes, I'll pick something out while you go call your manager and get the address for your interview." He states, pulling back and looking at me reassuringly.

"What do you mean? My manager will never let me go on unless everything is perfect." I don't mean to argue, but I know my manager is a perfectionist, and will surely yell my ear off for putting myself in this position.

"Darling, either you go with what you have, or you miss the interview." I open my mouth in a weak attempt to argue, but I stop, knowing he's right. I nod my head and rush to the phone, hoping David chooses those clothes quickly.

I messily dial up my manager, and as soon as they pick up, I can sense their rush of concern.

"Honey where have you been? Your interview is in less than 30 minutes!" His usually calm tone is higher as he clearly has been worried about my whereabouts.

"I know I know, and I'm so sorry I didn't call sooner. I just... I was out, and people recognized m-" I get cut off before I can finish my sentence.

"They what! Did you take off your disguise?" He sounds so worried, I feel really guilty at making him feel this way, but I would rather I tell him than have him find out via the news.

"No, people saw through it!"

"Well, are you okay? I know how you get in crowds, did you make it out alright?" The worry and concern emanating through his voice lets me know he really wants to give me a hug, and he probably needs one too. I remember the fear and concern when he had to get me out of that London crowd, gosh he was more scared than I was.

"I'm surprisingly alright, but that's really only because I got saved." I say quietly, I leave out the fact that David Bowie saved me because I don't know how my manager will react. He was there with me when David said I was a whore to the press, so I'm not sure that he'll be as quick to forgive him as I was.

"Saved? By who?" His voice suddenly goes from concern to curiosity, oh I hope he doesn't scream when I bring David with me.

"I'll introduce you both at the interview... On that note, can you tell me the address, I promise I'll be there on time."

"Alright Y/N, just please stop giving me heart attacks." This last sentence is humorous, yet completely serious at the same time. I can hear the sincerity, and I hope that I never put him through this again.

"I promise nothing." I reply sassily, writing down the address he tells me. I turn and hurriedly walk back to David's room, accidentally running into him and falling back to the floor. I glance up in surprise as he does the same to me, I can't help but be taken back to the same scenario that happened earlier today.

"I think we've been here before darling." David laughs as I smile humorously at the situation. He offers his hand and pulls me up with a little too much strength, resulting in me falling against his chest. I can feel myself blush furiously as I go to push myself away from him, but find myself trapped by his arms encircling my waist.

He holds me there for a few moments before gently releasing me and motioning to the clothes on his bed. I don't even spare them a glance as I grab them and walk into the bathroom, changing swiftly before looking at myself in the mirror. I was in one of his blue dress shirts with some fancy brown shoes, and some straight legged ivory pants. Everything is big on me, and I feel overdressed, I usually don't care how I look, and dress in a t-shirt, jeans; but David really has me dressing up.

I hesitantly open the bathroom door with my eyes on the floor, hearing David hurriedly stand from his spot on the bed. We stand in silence for about a minute, and I go to shy away from him, but he steps forward and holds me in place.

"I look such a mess don't I? I-" I criticize my appearance, but he gently cuts me off.

"I like seeing you in my clothes." His voice is just above a whisper, and he sounds so attractively honest that I glance up from my shoes and to his face. I immediately notice that we are only a few inches away from one another, and I can't help but look away from him.

I turn back to say something when his hand suddenly reaches up to cup my face, instantly grabbing my attention. I look at him, noticing how adoringly he gazes into my eyes, and I can't help but close my eyes. His lips gently graze my own, he seems to hold back meeting me fully, assumingly afraid of how I react. To stop his assumptions I lean forward and meet his retreating form, himself immediately responding.

We pull back, and I shyly look to the side, seeing him smile in my peripheral vision as he leans down and softly kisses my cheek. My blush comes back with a vengeance, and I can hear him chuckle at the way I respond to him. We pull apart slightly, he offers me a warm smile before checking the time.

"Oh, we better get going, love. We have about 10 minutes to get there, and it's a 5 minute drive." I nod my head, allowing him to hold my hand as we walk out of his room.

———————

Arriving at the interview I wait in anxiousness as David walks around the car and opens the door for me, holding my hand delicately as we walk towards the building. We suddenly stop as he looks towards me and then himself, releasing my hand as he starts to take off his coat.

I go to object, but he pays it no mind, holding it out for me, and helping slip it on. I can't help but feel so in-love at the moment, and it's funny because he's the last person I thought would be treating me like this.

"You look good, I think I want to see you in my shirts more often." His voice is so charming and natural as the cheeky sentence slips out. He said it so normally, but he knows how it leaves me speechless, a smirk appearing on his handsome features as he leads me into the building.

Unraveled Ch.3: The Family

Ch.2 Ch.4

After doing some paperwork for about an hour Ellie suddenly runs into the office, rushing over to my desk.

"Come on Els! The beach has been blocked off and we're both being called down there. Apparently there is a body." Ellie whispers quickly to me in distress.

I look up at her, feeling my memories attempting to resurface, but I quickly push them back, swallowing my nerves as I put on my cold, stern exterior. We quickly walked out of the department, hopping into our respective cars and heading over to the beach. I can constantly feel the memories of that little girl's body in the water trying to pick its way into my vision, but I shake it off. I couldn't avenge her, but I can try and solve whoever it is that we find.

Flashing our badges we park our cars and get access to the beach, I stumble slightly in the sand as Ellie and I weave through the small group of people beginning to crowd against the police tape.

We walk straight up to the tape, quickly being allowed in by the uniforms, Ellie going first and walking towards the body. I, however, feel myself slowing down, the waves rolling and the image of a child's dead body being all too similar. My mind and my body feel disconnected, like I am physically here but my mind is simply watching the nauseating scene unfold.

The only thought in my mind being, 'Is this penance for my downfalls, God?', closing my eyes and sharply reopening them I push myself forwards, watching Ellie beginning to get emotional, I think I heard her saying 'no' and 'I know this boy.' Both of these caused my blood to run just that much colder.

I trek towards the body with false confidence, keeping my eyes trained on the body. I can see figures of the D.I. and Ellie having a slight confrontation in my peripheral vision, but I pay them no mind as I spot the body of Danny Latimer lying in the cold sand.

I then look up when I hear an all too familiar accent and tone. The buried feeling of longing resurfacing as the voice awakens old memories.

"Shut it down. You're working a case now!" His voice was serious and his accent Scottish, I finally look up to see his face. He luckily hasn't seen me yet, but seeing him causes my striding over there to hesitate greatly as I feel my facade of confidence crumbling in mere seconds.

He introduced himself to Ellie but I care not about that, all I can focus on is the face of my best friend, Alec Hardy. Luckily they are talking about Danny, him turning around as Ellie identifies the body, Alec turning around as he learns this information. The sickening feeling in my gut is only growing in this whole situation, but I push myself forward. I've got a crime to solve now and I can't let past personal experience interfere with that.

I walk forwards, my feet feeling heavy, the type of heavy like when your boots are filled with water that can never be emptied. I only stop when I reach Ellie, trying to stay out of Alec's view.

"Ellie? Is that who I think it is?" My question rang through the tense air, my voice soft and accent not as noticeable. Ellie jumped in fright before realizing it's me.

"How bad are the uniforms at keeping civilians out of a crime scene?!" Alec exclaims in anger, luckily not looking at me yet.

"They're not that bad, seeing as I'm no civilian Alec." I state. Ellie looks at me in surprise and confusion as I call our new D.I. by his first name. Even he freezes at my tense greeting, almost as if having a moment of realization at hearing my voice. He slowly turns to see my face, the face of his missing best friend, the face of a person he desperately longed for though thought he would never see again.

"Elswyth?" His soft yet gruff voice is full of longing and questioning. His eyes seemingly darkening in sadness as he remembers our past together. Sadly we don't get long to remember as I hear the sound of someone who is not going to take this situation well at all, Beth Latimer.

"Oh, God, who's that?" Alec questions as he shifts his gaze to the distraught mother.

Ellie and I both looked as well with wide eyes, seeing one of our closest friends and mother to the now deceased Danny. We both glance at each other before stumbling forwards, holding our arms out to catch Beth before she can reach Danny. Ellie is telling her she can't be here, but my only focus is to keep her from reaching Danny. I grab her, struggling as she pulls me slightly forward, Alec grabbing her too until the uniforms finally rush over and drag her back, Beth fighting violently as she screams about how those are Danny's trainers, screaming both of our names in despair.

I quickly look away, stumbling backwards slightly, this is all wrong, it's happening all over again. I feel as though I'm going to collapse and be sick when two strong arms grasp me quickly, holding me against their chest as comforting words are spoken quietly. I recognize him, his smell and touch are the same even after not seeing him for so long. He turns me around, as I rest my head against him, his arms wrapped tightly around me as we both understand how this is affecting each other.

After a few more moments I push away from him, I can't let Ellie see this, she would quickly catch on to what happened in my past, and I don't want her hating me like how she loathes Alec. He looks at me as I stumble back again, reaching out to steady me but I push his hands away, he stops immediately, looking down slightly and lowering his hand at my rejection. I can't stand looking at him sad, so instead I turn to Ellie, her hands against her forehead at the despair of Beth. I quickly pull her into a hug, I know this is going to be one of the worst experiences of her life, and I have to be there to make sure it doesn't end up how my case did.

——————————

We're walking along the cliffs, the tape now blocking the edge. We all walk through the y'all grass, I cross my arms across my body as a form of comfort, the waves below splashing loudly.

"They let people walk along here, no safety barriers?" Alec questions, his tone confused as to why.

"It's the coastal path, people know to be careful." Ellie responds simply, all of us continuing to trudge through the tall grass.

"It's a death trap." Alec states as he looks behind us then back around. I give a small, almost nonexistent smile at how blunt he still is, hopefully he doesn't realize how much I've missed his rudely blunt and socially awkward personality.

We continue walking, finally running into SOCO at the crime scene.

"How's it going?" Alec asks as we stop to speak with Brian.

"Well, from what we've got up here, sir, it's looking like the rockfall around the body was faked." Brian responded solemnly. My eyes going dark as I now know for sure that this is a murder.

"What do you mean?" Ellie questions. I hold in my sigh of annoyance as I remember that I can't be mad, this is after all her first murder, as well as this town's first murder; I'm going to have to be patient for Ellie. Brian continues to talk but I feel my mind wandering elsewhere as I examine the area in my head, already having seen that there was no proof Danny was even up here, I then begin to think of all possible suspects, the family are always suspects at first, as well as anyone he might've seen on a day to day basis.

I don't even realize we're leaving until I hear my name being yelled, "Els! Let's go!" I quickly look over to see Alec glance over at my frozen form before walking down the path and Ellie waving me over before following Alec. I quickly run over to catch up, hearing Alec telling Ellie to get the pathologist to hurry up even if it's preliminary. I walk a few feet behind them both, my head looking down at the steps until I hear a sharp yell that grabs my attention.

"D.S. Miller! D.S. Carlisle!"

"Who's that?" Alec questions Ellie as to why someone is shouting our names. I look up to see the one and only obnoxious reporter, Olly Stevens. I push in between them, pushing both of them forwards faster.

"Just keep walking." Ellie sighs as she picks up the pace.

"Ellie! Els!" Olly shouts as if we're best buds.

"He seems to know both of you." Alec states, albeit a little bitterly as he looks at me. I roll my eyes knowing exactly what he's thinking.

"Auntie Ellie! Auntie Els!"

"No no no, don't pull that bullshit Olly." I angrily snarl as I continue walking, now leaving the other two behind as I head to my car.

"I told you, don't do that!" I hear Ellie practically growl at him in annoyance. I ignore them as I go to open my door, looking back to see Alec scowl and release a disgusted sound when hearing Olly works for the Broadchurch Echo. I smile slightly at that scowl upon his face, it makes me remember back to when I would call him Hardy when we were younger and he would scowl in annoyance before returning the favor and calling me Carlisle. I realize what I'm doing and wipe the smile off my face, slipping into my old Alfa Romeo and waiting for Ellie to leave, hearing bits of their conversation and how they're not giving statements.

Olly, seeming to not have any luck with them, instead rushes over to my car.

"Auntie Els, I heard there was a body?"

"Don't pull that shit Oliver, we're not giving statements right now, and you are not allowed to speculate. Now shut it and wait till we give a proper statement." Feeling pissed I slam my door, harshly shifting gears before I speed off to follow Ellie to the Latimer house.

——————————

We all exit our vehicles, Ellie looking a little confused and perturbed. Alec must've told her to tell him if the family we're acting odd. I understand why she's acting like that, but she needs to understand that right now everybody's a suspect. Ellie walks up to the doors first, Alec hangs back and pulls me aside.

"Els, I know this case is bringing up bad memories, if you want to hang back in the cars I understand." Alec states, his normally rough Scottish voice now quiet and concerned. I smile slightly, resting my hand against his shoulder as he looks at my eyes.

"I would love to take up that offer, but this is Ellie's first homicide, and I can't let her face that with you, I know you understand what you're doing, but Ellie won't listen to you, she needs me there to guide her." I pat his chest before walking up to the door, Mark answering it. A flash of uncertainty streaming across his eyes as he greets Alec, Ellie, and myself.

We enter their home, meeting the whole family in the living room. Beth standing up, anxious and restless as she already knows why we're here. Her daughter Chloe, gazing up at me as if begging me to tell them it's not Danny. I look away, the ground becoming my sole focus as they take their seats.

"Hi I'm Detective Inspector Alec Hardy, and I believe you know D.S. Miller and D.S. Carlisle" Alec introduces, inviting them to sit down as he grabs me and himself a chair. We all sit down, the whole family distraught, Ellie barely keeping it together, and Alec being the one forced to keep it together. I'm simply there, I'm there for Ellie and the family, and now I'm also here to make sure that Alec is alright as well.

"The body of a young boy was found..." Alec starts before Beth interrupts, being hushed by Mark before he tells Alec to continue.

"We believe it's Danny's body." Alec states.

Beth looks over at us as she breaks down, "Please Ellie, Elspeth... Was it him?" Beth's question destroys Ellie, she looks over at me before nodding in confirmation to Beth. Beth breaking down even more now, Ellie being unable to hold in some of her tears.

The whole family shudders, the dread of the situation amplifies as everyone cries and Mark attempts to keep it together and hold the family.

I have a feeling of complete emptiness, this is the second murder of a child I have to investigate where I know the family personally, and this is going to be the one to destroy what was left of my shattered soul. My hands shake slightly, and Alec discreetly reaches over to hold them, running his thumb over the top of my hand to calm me down whilst still keeping an eye on the family's reaction. I knew this case was hitting close to home for him as well, so I attempted to soothe him as well, squeezing his hands in thanks and comfort.

Ch.2 Ch.4

Johnny Depp: Bodyguard Bestfriend

Imagine being a long time bodyguard for the Depp family, and having to be a witness during the trial:

*Includes blood, violence and domestic violence, based off of real events but not completely accurate*

Well, this is not where I expected to be. The year is 2022, and I'm currently sitting in court, waiting to be called to the stand.

_______

I can still remember the day I got fresh out of the army, I had a music major under my belt as well as 5 years active duty as a Calvary Scout.

I was so lost, I had no idea what I was doing, so I just started applying for security jobs - figuring my military time would come in handy, it did.

I got hired by a company that ran a security-for-hire gig, renting us out to anyone that needed us. I got a lot of shit at first due to my height, being only 5'6 isn't exactly scary, not to mention that women also aren't very intimidating usually. I did prove my worth in the end, I had a lot of training when it came to hand-to-hand combat, and I was also very adept at creating plans and schedules.

That's actually how I met Mr.Depp, or Johnny as he prefers... He had hired us for a gig out in LA; he had his family with him at one of the red carpet events, and wanted complete security for his wife and children. We hadn't talked at all, I was the head of my crew, making sure everyone was in position and ready in case some fan - or fanatic as I prefer - came jumping at them.

There were two people that had me on edge though, Johnny has two young children, and children tend to be unpredictable. This only became apparent after the night had already begun, Jack stayed close to his parents, but Lily seemed intrigued by me. Maybe it was because I was the only female security guard there, I really don't know.

It wasn't really annoying or anything, all that happened was she walked with me, wanting to hold my hand as we walked past the screaming fans. She got kind of scared of them, clinging onto my hand and sleeve, I knelt down and offered her my sunglasses, which she skeptically put on.

"Now those flashes won't hurt your eyes." I state with a smile that she immediately returns, flinging her arms around me in a hug. The screaming increases in intensity at this, making her friendly hug turn into a slightly scared embrace. I sigh quietly as I look to see the family quite a ways away, 'no way she'll do that alone' I think to myself.

I release another exasperated sigh before wrapping my arms around her delicately, picking her up.

"Don't drop my glasses kid." I say sarcastically, hearing her lightly giggle as I start walking back to Mr.Depp and his family.

Entering the awards was a breeze, there were fences, security guards were everywhere, everyone stuck together; it's the leaving that causes issues. Mr.Depp has a habit of wanting to leave early, meaning that it's just us against an ocean of people.

I already assumed he would want to leave early, so I had my crew create a tunnel through the crowd for the family that led them straight to the car. Everything had gone just as planned, although one issue did arise, Lily-Rose had disappeared. They were in the limo and Johnny was thunderous, exclaiming that they couldn't find Lily as he hurriedly attempted to exit the car.

My men looked to me, I took over, ordering some to stay with the car and for the rest to get searching. I looked over at Mr.Depp, who had one foot out of the car, with a sigh I walked over and gently shoved him back inside the car. He was obviously unhappy, even more so since I stopped him from exiting the vehicle.

"What are you doing! I have to find my daughter!" He yelled as he tried again, but I blocked his attempt.

"Mr.Depp, I have my men out looking for her, we won't leave without her." I reply calmly.

"That's not good enough!" He huffed angrily, glaring at me.

I was getting nowhere with him being polite, time to switch tactics.

"Take a look around sir! If you get out now, not only will your daughter be missing, but you will be too!" I exclaimed, glaring back at him as I waved my hand towards the frenzied crowd. He took a few seconds just looking around, I noticed his anger slowly slip off of his face, instead replaced by worry and fear.

"Sir please, if I know you'll stay in the car with your family, I can send more people to search for her." I explain, resting a reassuring hand on his stiff shoulder. He looks down to me, his face holding a calmer tone as he nods in understanding, sitting back in the car with a defeated sigh.

"Just find my daughter please." I nod my head, stationing 4 men on the car before sending the rest to search for Lily. I start searching as well, although I walk along the outskirts of the crowd to observe them.

The place is full of hustle and bustle, some of the fans seem to be looking for her as well, my crew are sweating bullets in fear of the repercussions for losing one of their clients. I simply shake my head, now is not the time to think of the repercussions, I need to keep my head in the game.

Turning around to glance back at the car, I notice something in the distance and take off running, two large figures are dragging away what looks to be a resistant juvenile. I call over my shoulder for some help, continuing my sprint when I hear some of my guys following me. When we get closer we can hear muffled cries and screams, it triggers an aggressiveness in myself that I'm surprised by.

We tackle the guys, quickly subduing them. I hand mine off to the other guy, worried I might do something rash. I quickly pull Lily away, not wanting her anywhere near those guys.

"Lily, what happened?" Her voice is uneven as she stutters out an answer. Explaining how she went looking for me before she was grabbed by them. I have to hold in my tears, she was looking for me? This is my fault, I should've kept a closer eye on her, especially after what happened earlier today!

I hug her tightly, making sure that knows she is safe now, that her daddy and mommy are waiting in the car. I kiss the top of her head, feeling her curl up against me in a comforting embrace. I heave a sigh before calling over two other guards, asking them to escort Lily back to the car.

She is reluctant, refusing to let go of me at first, but I made a promise to check in with her when I reach their hotel. That did the trick because she slowly released her hold.

I sternly instruct the guards to keep a firm hold of both her hands as they walk her to the car, not wanting her to slip away to look for me again.

I tiredly turn around to the two men on the ground, rolling my eyes as I call the police to have them taken in. This was an attempted kidnapping after all, can't let them roam the streets.

The cops arrive a few minutes after the limos leave, the situation takes about an hour overall, meaning the time is now around 11pm. I send the two remaining guards home before I begin driving over to the hotel. My stomach feels sick, I'm unsure of what will happen when I arrive.

Walking into the lobby, I'm immediately met by some of my men. They explain that Mr.Depp has demanded to see me as soon as I arrived, now I feel sick as a dog. The elevator ride was eerie, I've never felt so nervous, but then again, my client's daughter has never been kidnapped before either.

I still try to hurry, not allowing my worry to slow my actions. Although, my timid knocks may have given away your uneasiness.

A few seconds pass as the door unlocks and swings open, being met with the neutral look of Mr.Depp

"Mr. Depp I—" I got interrupted by a light tackle to your legs. Looking down, I notice it's Lily latched onto me, a contagious smile spreading across my face. My nervousness completely disappears as I kneel down to her level

"Shouldn't you be asleep right now?" I ask lightly as she pulls back from the hug. As she's about to respond, Johnny interrupts, saying it's past her bedtime, and that he had some business to discuss.

He had the whole penthouse floor to himself, so he simply walked to the outside patio on the opposite side for us to talk. I started getting nervous, he probably brought me over here so his family won't hear him yelling at me. He takes a breath, and I brace myself

"Thank you... for today." His voice is quiet but firm as he speaks.

To say I'm shocked is an understatement, his daughter nearly gets kidnapped, and he's thanking me? He turns around, being met with my astonished expression

"But sir, your daughter was kidnapped because I-" I attempt to say, but he halts my sentence.

"STOP... Stop it, I know you're blaming yourself." His tone is stern, almost fatherly, he is old enough to be my father.

"But sir, it was my negligence that led to thi-" I attempted to continue, but was cut off once again as he grabbed both my shoulders, forcing me to face him. His face is calm and serious as he speaks to me.

"No, no it wasn't, Lily told me what happened." He explained.

I stayed silent, wondering what she said, we looked at each other for a few solemn seconds before he let out a silent huff. His hand slips from my shoulders as he turns around and rests them on the railing, gazing at the city lights.

"She told me how she purposely went off looking for you even though she knew she wasn't allowed to do that." He continued.

"I'm also sorry... about yelling at you earlier, I was scared for my daughter, but that's not an excuse for my actions." He apologized, shoulders slumping as he spoke.

"It's alright-" I try to reply, I'm starting to understand where Lily gets her interrupting habit from.

"No it's not, stop trying to let me off the hook just like that, let me finish my piece." He stated in that stern fatherly tone again as he turned to face me. I sheepishly avoid eye contact, nodding my head for him to continue. A few seconds pass before he speaks again.

"Come to breakfast with my family tomorrow, we all would like to thank you, not to mention, I may have some business to discuss with you." With that he turns and walks off, leaving me standing there dumbfounded.

__

The next day we had a friendly breakfast, it made me think of when I was still close with my family.

Lily clung to my side the whole time, asking about my job, if it was fun, what I used to do, where I'm from. So many questions were asked within the span of 1 hour. Johnny had me stay behind, walking us over to a nearby cafe to discuss "business," whatever that means

"I want to hire you." He abruptly stated, stopping me from sipping my drink.

"You already hired me?" I reply with a confused tone, scrunching my eyebrows slightly.

"No, I mean, I want you to be part of the permanent security team. That means you'll travel with me and will always be near." It took me a few moments to realize the sincerity in his tone, he was being serious. He wanted to hire me after what happened yesterday?!

"What? why?" I exclaimed in confusion and shock, stuttering when I realized how rude that must've sounded.

My stuttering is cut off by his laughter, obviously finding my reaction amusing. He calms down quickly, but an endearing smile remains on his face

"I like you, you're surprisingly easy to talk to even though you are so quiet. My family seems to enjoy your company even though we've only known you for a day, my daughter has also taken to you surprisingly well."

"Okay, but don't you want my CV and everything?" I respond, still a little confused. He rubs the back of his neck, his grin turning into a sheepish smile

"I may have called your boss last night and requested your folder..." he trails off, looking at his drink.

"What... Are they even allowed to give you that?" I responded.

"Sorry about that, and no, I don't think they were allowed to do that." He replies, glancing back at me. I'm still shocked, my mouth hanging open slightly

"I know that's a bit intruding and inappropriate of me, but we're leaving soon and I-" He rambles, but now it's my turn to interrupt him.

"I accept." He's about to continue his explanation before an astonished look washed over him

"You do?" He asks, tone showing how surprised he is, perhaps he thought I would turn his offer down.

"Yes, now if you don't mind, I'd like to drink my coffee now."

For the rest of the day he had a big as smile on his face, which only grew as he told his family the news.

_______

From that day on, I lived and traveled with them, scheduling the details and shifts, making sure everything was ready for his arrival, I even sometimes functioned as a tutor.

At first he had me as just a guard for the entire family, but as the kids got older he assigned me specifically as Lily's bodyguard. I didn't mind this, it just meant that we could go out shopping together more often. As she grew, we developed a very close bond. When she was younger she acted like I was a second mother, but when she became a teen I became her big sister.

Over the years, Mr. Depp became Johnny whenever it was just us or the family. He always scolded me for calling him Mr.Depp, saying it made him sound old. He really became a father figure for me, especially after he finally learned why I never mention or talk to my family. Mrs.Paradis, or Vanessa as she preferred, became friends with me, though we weren't as close as Lily and I. Jack also became closer with me, though I could tell he felt a little awkward around me, I think he has a slight crush, though I can't be certain.

They became my family, I loved them so much, I hoped it would never end. Of course, all good things eventually die.

I was on set with Johnny for the Rum Diaries, it wasn't unusual for him to bring me along, it felt more like bringing his daughter with him instead of a bodyguard.

It was all fun, the movie was going great, he seemed to be having fun. But something was different after he returned home, he seemed off, like something was eating away at him. I tried getting him to talk, he just brushed it off, saying it was nothing; but I could tell by his smile that he was trying to reassure himself as well.

That was the beginning of the end for my happy family, the separation was not something anyone was happy about. I knew it stung when Vanessa learned how much younger Amber Heard was, she confided in me that this was something she always feared deep down. His kids were okay, they weren't ecstatic, but they weren't angry either; I could tell they just wanted their father to be happy.

Amber was... something else. Johnny seemed happy, it was like a year long honeymoon phase, although she wasn't exactly the nicest person if you ask me. Jack and Lily quickly began to dislike her, as did I, we would actively avoid her at all costs.

I especially tried to avoid her, she would always glare at me if I was anywhere near Johnny, demanding that I call him Mr.Depp even when we were just at home. She set me on edge, and the wedding only made it worse.

Lily was vehemently against attending the wedding, meaning I wouldn't be going either since she wanted to go out instead. I pulled Johnny aside and explained the situation. He was unhappy, but accepted his daughter's decision.

Before we left for our trip I pulled Johnny aside, taking both his hands warmly in mine as I said my congratulations and wished him well.

I spot Amber in the distance, beginning to walk towards us, so I hurry myself. I un-clip the chain around my neck, taking Johnny's hand, allowing it to coil in his palm before closing it. I look at him, smiling at the shock on his face, clearly surprised by my actions.

"B-but, that's your fathers ring!" He stutters, conflicted by what I've done.

"And now it's yours." I reply

"Y/N, I can't take this!" He exclaims, trying to give it back, but I shove his hand into his chest.

"Johnny, you've been more of a father than he ever was... I want you to have it." I responded quietly, feeling embarrassed by what I said.

He smiles as he pulls me in for a warm hug, immediately making me feel at ease. As we part, he kisses my check gently before separating completely. He removes the ring from the necklace, sliding it onto his middle finger before re-clipping the chain around my neck.

I thank him, and he's about to speak when Amber steps into our conversation. I can tell by the hostile glare in her eyes that she isn't very happy with me, but Johnny doesn't seem to notice. She drags him away before he could speak, but I simply smile and wave as he sheepishly does the same.

I pivot on my heel and head off to find Lily.

_______

If I thought she was bad before the wedding, I had no idea what was coming after the honeymoon.

Something was off with Johnny, he was a lot quieter, and that's saying something since he is already a reserved person. They also seemed to argue, I already knew about their arguments from before, but now they seemed to be happening in the open a lot more. Lily hated Amber, refusing to interact with her, always dragging me away to her room whenever Amber was near.

I don't object, Amber had taken to yelling at me too, so I enjoyed the moments Lily and I would scramble away and avoid talking to her. We survived like that for a few weeks, but then Johnny called us into the living room. Lily and I glanced at each other in confusion, wondering if either of us did something wrong.

"Y/N, Lily, I've called you here because there is going to be a slight change in Y/N's job." Lily and I both relaxed, assuming that it was going to be small and insignificant.

"From now on Y/N, you will be Amber's personal bodyguard." My eyes widened, I glanced over at Lily to see what I'm sure is the same reaction as me. Lily opens her mouth to argue, but Johnny holds up his hand to silence her.

"My decision is final." I looked away from Johnny to see Lily's eyes watering subtly. She looked between them both before running off back to her room; I went to run after her, but a firm grasp yanked me back.

Looking back to them, I noticed it was Amber who had pulled me back, a stern scowl on her face.

"Where do you think you're going?" She asks, her voice is definitely going to get on my nerves.

"To talk to Lily?" I state in confusion, wondering why she stopped me.

"She'll be fine, but I need you, I'm heading out with my sister to go shopping. Be ready in 10." She left no room for me to talk, simply turning and walking off. To say I was stunned is an understatement, so much is happening, it's hard to wrap my head around it.

I must've looked as lost as I felt because Johnny reached over and placed his hand delicately on my shoulder. I nervously look at him, being brought back to Earth by the warm, gentle look in his eyes.

"Are you alright, doll?" I smile slightly at the pet name, he's been calling me that since about a year after hiring me(I told him about how the guys in my unit jokingly called me"Doll").

"Yah, I'm just... Shocked. It never ran through my head that you might assign me to someone else, I guess it was unexpected for Lily too." I reply, looking down in thought.

"I never did plan on assigning you to someone else." Johnny stated, his voice holding a hint of annoyance, but it was well hidden.

"What do you mean?" I asked, now completely confused.

"Humph, I didn't want to reassign you, but Amber practically demanded that you be assigned as her personal bodyguard." He responds, looking away as he explains, it sounds like he wants to complain, but he is holding back.

I open my mouth to respond, but my voice is taken away as I gasp in surprise. Johnny looks at me, startled by my unexpected reaction. Now that he's looking at me, my eyes widen in worry.

"What? What is it?" He asks quickly, wanting to know what's made me like this.

I slowly reach my hand out towards his face, he lets me, it's not uncommon for me to poke him or fix his hair, but this is different. My hand gently caresses the skin under his left eye, how did I not notice the swelling?

When he realizes what I'm doing, he almost reels back within the blink of an eye, turning around so I'm facing his back.

"Johnny. What's going on?" It was meant to be a question, but it came out as a demand. His body deflates slightly, realizing I'm not letting him off the hook. He turns to speak, but is interrupted by Amber bustling down the stairs, speaking loudly on the phone.

"Y/N, hurry up and pull the car around already, we have to pick up my sister and you're making us late." Amber states in a grating tone.

"Alright alright, but give me a second, wanna take a selfie with Johnn-err Mr.Depp." I state, quickly correcting myself after noticing the look in Amber's eyes.

"Why do you want a picture with him, you see him everyday." She stated flatly.

"My family demands proof that I work for him." I reply effortlessly, she luckily has no idea that my family and I have had no communication for over 10 years. Johnny, however, immediately noticed my lie, thankfully only side-eying me.

I take out my phone, standing next to him, taking a few, telling Johnny to angle his head more to the right in a few. I smile after our 10 second photo-shoot, hugging him quickly before speed-walking out the door to grab the car.

He's probably flabbergasted right now, wondering why I lied about my family, and why I wanted to take some pictures with him. To be honest, I don't think that swelling got there due to something innocent, so I took a shit ton of pictures with him so that I can look at them.

I drive the car around to the front and wait for Amber. In my spare time, I open my phone and look at some of the photos. Not gonna lie, he's always prepared for a picture, even when he's caught completely off guard.

Analyzing the pictures, I note the swelling under his eye, as well as his cheek and a little bit on his nose. It's subtle, I'm surprised I caught it. He's also got a very light bruise that looks like it's in the last stage of healing. I go to look closer, but quickly shut my phone off as Amber enters the back of the car.

_______

That wasn't the only time I had an impromptu photo-shoot with Johnny, there were quite a few to come, all of them capturing worse injuries than before. Halfway into their marriage I knew for sure what was happening, before that I had only heard the fights and been left to assume, but getting caught in their fight was wild.

Amber had been up in his face, pushing him, saying vulgar and cruel things as he tried to leave. The other security were looking at me, wondering what they should do. This wasn't the first time we removed Johnny for his safety, so I quickly sent a text for someone to pack him a bag, motioning one of the guards to grab the car and bring it around.

I was Amber's guard, I'm supposed to protect her, but I know deep down that my default is to always protect my true family, and that certainly isn't her. So when I walk over and see her pull her arm back to slap him, I don't hesitate to stop her.

I grab her arm, shoving her back so that I'm between them. I don't want to fight her, that would definitely get me fired, the only thing I can do right now is protect Johnny, and possibly myself. The anger in her expression magnifies as she looks back to me, Walking up and getting in my space, clearly wanting a reaction. I stand firm, not allowing her to get to Johnny, but not wanting to hurt her either.

"Get out of here Johnny." I say, not removing my eyes from the threat.

"And leave you here? No way." He states firmly.

"I'll be fine alright, I'll catch up with you okay? G/N(guards name)! Take Mr. Depp to the car and get him out of here!" I shout to the guard across the room. I can see him coming closer in my peripheral, leading Johnny away, though I can tell Johnny felt extremely conflicted.

All the while, I'm blocking Amber as they escape, not letting my guard down until I hear the elevators beep from down the hall. When she realizes they are gone, it's like she somehow got even angrier. She looks down the hallways, then fixes her glare on me. Before I have time to react, I find myself across the floor, my mind dazed, a stinging on the left side of my face.

I shake myself as I stand, taking a few seconds to realize I just got punched in the face. I touched my lip, it got caught on my tooth and is bleeding something terrible. I wiped the blood off with my sleeve, but know it's useless right now.

"Oh, don't tell me you've never bled before? What with your military time?" Her voice is so patronizing as she leers, she taunts me anytime she can and it's reaching a boiling point.

"ENOUGH!" I yell, but she simply smirks, enjoying my reaction.

"Too scared to fight me? Afraid you'll lose?" She continues her taunting, looking down at me with her annoying height.

"More like I'm afraid I'll kill you." I state grimly, my instincts telling me she's going to strike out and that I should attack her first, but I know if I hurt her, it'll get turned on me. I wait a second, taking in a deep breath before shaking my head and turning around.

"Stop running! You people can't keep RUNNING!" She screams as she shoves me back around, screaming in my face.

"You make us run! You're so fucking awful that the only thing we can do is leave!" I shout back, shoving her off of me.

"If you walk out that door, consider yourself fired." She states arrogantly as I walk to the front door. My hand hovers for a second as I think everything over.

"I consider that a blessing, but you're not my boss." I growl before turning the handle and walking down the hall, taking the stairs instead of the elevator. I call G/N, asking them to send me the address as I start up my car.

Johnny was not happy when I got there, in fact, he looked ready to tear into me, but immediately stopped when he saw my face. About halfway through the drive I started crying, wondering how long she's been hurting him, how long she's been treating him like shit. He only takes a second to study me before rushing forward, pulling me into a comforting embrace as I cried into his shoulder

It's kind of funny looking back now, he was so focused on comforting me even though he was the one experiencing that mistreatment for years. He was always a gentle and caring man, but that moment made me realize just how selfless he is.

From that moment on, he allowed me to photograph his injuries without making me act as if I simply wanted selfies with him. He only agreed to it as long as I wouldn't let myself get hit for him, he hated seeing me get injured, and he didn't want his spouse to be the cause of it. I was scared when I agreed, scared that I could do nothing, but I quickly realized that getting him out of there would keep us both safe.

I kept all the photos on my computer, making sure to have duplicates, as well as keeping a hidden copy of prints. Johnny would also send me photos from when I got hurt, he wanted me to save them as well. She's only hurt me a few times, mainly when I try to get between her and Johnny, I usually would've broken her arm already, but I could never do anything to hurt Johnny.

_______

I was brought forward as one of Johnny's witnesses, I didn't want to go up there, to explain what I had to witness and allowed to happen. I felt disgusted with myself that I let Johnny get treated that way for so long, but I know that he had to leave her by his own decision.

In all the recordings brought forward, I was usually in them, you could hear me in the background, or I might've been right in the middle of it. I knew that the defense was going to lay into me, try and tear me a new one, but I hope that I can take the publicity and stress of it all.

I somehow managed to stay basically anonymous throughout all my years of watching over the Depp's, only pictures and videos of my covered face being seen, but now I'd be in front of the world. My name out in the open, my face on every news channel, my family will know where I am - that's possibly the scariest thing about this.

I've been holding my breath during every video, every picture, and every statement. It's always hard when I hear something that includes me, I always feel like I was an enabler in his abuse because I didn't do more; but I know Johnny would get angry with himself if I told him. When he explains moments in a recording where I got between them, or where I would force him to leave, I always found myself tearing up.

I hear my name being called, I look around, seeing the nod of encouragement from his legal team. They've been so supportive and careful with me, they know about my military time yet still treat me like a delicate flower, it's nice. They've become friends to Johnny and me, I'm glad he found them.

I smile back as I step forward, feeling Johnny gently drape his hand against my arm as I walk by, a soft reassurance that he's there with me.

I swear in, keeping my voice steady as I look at the judge, allowing my eyes to glance around the room for a quick read, avoiding looking in Miss Heard's direction. Johnny and I promised that we wouldn't allow her even a second of our attention, we wouldn't look at her, we wouldn't talk to her, and outside this courtroom we wouldn't speak of her.

I seat myself carefully, eyeing the screen in front of me, glancing to the jury, Johnny's attorney, then finally landing on Johnny. I told him all of my worries, he knew of my fear of the limelight, as well as my worry that my family will recognize me and try to contact me.

Throughout all of this, he's somehow stayed strong, even though he suffered far more than I, he refused to let me feel alone, so I refuse to not play my part in this case; if anyone deserves something good in their life, it's Johnny Depp.