Sinnelose Realiteit(Afrikaans)

Sinnelose Realiteit(Afrikaans)

Dit was vroeg op'n donderdag oggend toe sy ontvang die verskriklike nuus dat haar man is dood.

Sy het gewonder waarom hy nie terugkeer huis laaste nag, selfs wag deur die selfoon, uiteindelik hom roep, maar nooit ontvang'n antwoord.

Sy het net geloop het haar kinders, Lisette en Alonso, hul lang oprit na die skool bus wag, saggies waai totsiens as dit luidrugtig weggery, uiteindelik laat haar glimlag en hand val as die bus het uit die oog. Draai terug na die huis loop sy besef die voëls is besonder stil, abnormaal so, dit het die stilte ongemaklik as wat sy was vasgevang met haar eindelose gedagtes; nie eens die wind huppelend die blare was so hard soos gewoonlik. Sy stryk haar swart gevleg hare na die kant voor pluk onrustig op die moue van haar blou-grys trui, styf wikkel haar arms om haar liggaam as sy het begin om die loop terug huis toe, luister nou na die crunch onder haar skoene, haar gedagtes nog dwaal in die verwarring oor waar haar man, Ryker, was. 'n paar stappe weg van haar stoep sy vertraag haar loop as sy hoor die geluid van'n motor, haar wankelrige stappe effens as sy omdraai, die onthulling van die staan-uit die swart-en-wit patroon van'n Belmont, Ohio die polisie die motor ry in die rigting van haar. Die glans teen die voorruit van die grys lug het dit onmoontlik gemaak om te sien wat jy ry, laat haar onseker is of om te voel oorstelp van vreugde of ontstelde op dit se verbasing voorkoms.

Die digter dit gery het die haar hart vinniger klop, neem in vlakker asem as sy kyk na die motor trek na'n stop'n paar meter weg. Haar hande onbewustelik wring mekaar as sy gewag het vir die motor deur te swaai oop, skielik voel ongemaklik warm, selfs al was dit redelik koud. Sy het geweet van die gevare haar man was in danke aan sy lyn van werk, en het geweet dat hy kon beseer word of gedood op enige oproep-uit, maar niks sou haar voor te berei vir die moedeloos kyk op die beamptes gesig as hy klim uit die motor.

Ryker was op die oproep met sy vennoot vir'n breek en betree in'n residensiële sone, die kriminele gegaan het uit die rug en afgeronde die huis te kom agter hulle as wat hulle gegaan het om te gaan deur die busted deur, skiet beide paar keer in die rug voor die loop. Die polisie is tans op soek na hom, maar het net twee getuies, een wat bijhorend hom as hy het begin om te breek maak hul deure oop, en'n buurman wat gesien het wat gebeur het en het die polisie.

As die beampte verduidelik wat gebeur het haar gedagtes het leeg, die reeds gedemp geraas van die bos heeltemal verdwyn en dat die ongemaklike hitte skielik verdwyn, die verlaat van haar liggaam in plaas daarvan voel leeg. Sy het gou gevind haarself gedwing om terug in die werklikheid toe die beampte het bereik uit om haar aan te raak skouer, dit was nie onbeskof of onwelkome aangesien hierdie beampte was baie goeie vriende met haarself en Ryker, maar die skielike en onverwagse kontak geskok haar genoeg te ruk haar skouer weg en neem'n stap terug. Hy het onmiddellik onttrek sy arm, sy oë gegooi af na die vloer, terwyl sy aangebreek'n jammer kyk as sy besef haar optrede.

Sy ten slotte gesê, "ek is jammer Carter, ek-ek voel net effens oorweldig op die oomblik."Haar stem timidly stil, 'n effense hakkel as sy probeer om te verstaan en beheer al die emosies skielik loop deur haar. 'n blik van die begrip spoel oor sy gesig voor knik sy kop plegtig en draai terug na sy motor, "Totsiens Saden."Carter het, bied'n kort, hartseer glimlag voordat versterking in sy motor en ry af.

Daar is baie gedagtes gedruis deur Saden se kop, al die nuus nie slaan haar ten volle nie. Met haar verstand racing sy stadig haar pad gemaak in haar kajuit huis, sluit die deur voor te rus haar voorkop hard teen die lood hout, gee haar een oomblik van vrede voor stoot af en op pad na die telefoon om te maak'n paar van die oproepe.

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Die huis is donker, gee af'n ontstellende en verwarring aura; die son nie opgestaan het nie en geen ligte in die buurt, maar hier is'n seuntjie met sy skool uniform en rugsak op stil-stil die sluiting van die voordeur. Hy begin loop weg van sy huis vinnig, die angstige atmosfeer rondom hom stadig verkwis die verdere hy het, sy gespanne skouers en op die rand kyk vermindering van om net effense paranoia.

Hy het'n litteken bo sy oog, die ietwat rooi kleur maak dit voor die hand liggend teen sy bleek vel. Hy het hierdie litteken dieselfde tyd wat hy verloor sy ma en half-suster, die motor-ongeluk was wreed, net hom en een van die ander motors passasiers na oorleef.

Hy skakerings sy oë weg van die verblindende hoofligte wat slaag deur elke so dikwels as wat hy loop af in die sypaadjie, sy paranoia verdwyn die nader hy nader Bingham se Dam. Hy vind'n plek weg van die pad, die opstel van sy sak af as hy neem die sluimerende swane en eende. 'n klein glimlag genades van sy funksies as hy onthou toe hy en sy ma, Liz, sou hier kom vroeg in die oggend om te praat en kyk na die sonsopkoms voor die skool; sy glimlag verdwyn so vinnig as wat dit aangekom het as hy besef hy kan net kom hier nou alleen. Hy kan altyd vra sy stap-pa Alec om te kom met hom, maar hy gevreesde enige reaksie Alec het, veral nou dat hy was die enigste een om te oorleef die motor te crash.

In'n poging om te skud sy gedagtes weg van die afgelope hy kyk terug na die swane, bewonder hul skoonheid teen die donker water. Die eerste paar son strale begin te gloei teen die dowwe lug, 'n effense briesie wat veroorsaak dat om hom te bewe as hy het geen eenvormige baadjie sedert daardie koste ekstra geld. As hy gaan sit en leun teen'n boom hy winces op die pyn opvlam in sy rug voor skud dit af en trek sy sak na hom, unbuckling die bevriesing metaal en die bereiking van in, trek uit'n gids met onvoltooide huiswerk; baie van hulle het crumples en trane selfs al het hy het hulle netjies in'n gids. Vrystelling van'n moeë en bitter sug hy begin werk, begin met sy naam, "het Archer Carlisle", sy koue hande maak dit moeiliker om te skryf en'n blik van verswaring flitse deur sy oë as hy weet dat hy nie sal kry al hierdie huiswerk gedoen voor die skool; vrees vul hom by die gedagte van om te sê Alec oor die slegte graad selfs al is sy onvoltooide en verskeur huiswerk was Alec se skuld. Met'n ander sug hy het weer aan die werk, probeer om te voltooi as baie van dit so vinnig en so akkuraat as moontlik.

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Dit was'n week sedert ek was vertel oor sy dood, het ek reeds geweet het wat ek kon nie bly in ons gemaklike Ohio huis, veral sedert Ryker dit gebou het; net loop deur die deur het'n walglike gevoel om oor my was om te weet dat ek sal hom nooit weer sien.

Die begrafnis was gister middag... Die swart rok wat ek gedra het, is nou'n hopie grys as in die firepit. My dogter Lisette het saam met my, dit was'n winderige dag met'n sprinkel van die reën afstof die grond buite, blyk dit dat die wêreld was selfs rou oor die verlies, maar dit is waarskynlik net vir my om betekenis in die eenvoudige dinge. My seun Alonso het die dood van sy vader baie moeilik, ek weet hoe naby hulle was, en sien my seun huil het'n traan breek deur middel van my fasade van krag, maar ek het om te vinnig vee dit weg as ek omhels my geween seun. Sy huil geduur het vir'n uur, Lisette begin om te huil as goed wanneer sy sien Al se skud vorm word getroos deur die myn. Daardie aand het ek het saam met hulle in hul kamer, sit op die vloer matte tussen hul twee beddens, een hand onder die knie in elkeen van my as ek jou vertel hulle stories na die stilte van hulle aan die slaap. Wanneer ek geweet het hulle was aan die slaap, ek het voortgegaan om hul hande te hou, leun my kop terug teen die hout muur as ek staar na die plafon, die lig van die maan die skep van skadu van die boom takke teen die teenoorgestelde muur. Ek het net sit daar, dink oor die oproepe wat ek gemaak het die dag toe ek die nuus ontvang; teen volgende week, wat is links van my familie sal wees in ons Skotland huis, weg van hier, weg van hom.

Ek het nog steeds nodig om die kinders te vertel, ek is nie seker hoe om te vertel hulle ons is weg te beweeg, weg van alles wat ons herinner van hul vader. Ek kan maar net hoop hulle sal nie verag my vir hierdie besluit, maar net te bly in hierdie huis veroorsaak dat my gedagtes om te dwaal in'n rigting wat ek sal nie toelaat dat my om in te gaan.

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Die klok lui hard as ek haastig in die sluiting van die deur van my klaskamer, en kyk in die kamer rond ek sien almal reeds sit en die onderwyser kyk na my opvallend. Die verlaging van my oë, ek reguit uit my huiswerk en draai-in die messily klaar bladsye aan die mandjie voor traipsing verby my juffrou se lessenaar te bereik my sitplek, vermy sy en almal anders se oë te alle tye.

Ek weet ek moet nie bang wees deur my onderwysers, maar Mnr Curraigh het dieselfde streng stem as Alec, en ek kan nie help nie, maar word angstig wanneer ek stap voet in sy klas; sy streng reëls en intimiderend statuur nie presies my help wanneer ek probeer om te onderskei tussen die twee.

Mnr Curraigh blik van sy rekenaar aan my, ek sluk senuweeagtig en skuif effens in my stoel as ek kyk af na die papier ek delikaat geplaas op my lessenaar. Die klas se stil chatter hervat het'n paar oomblikke gelede, maar is vinnig gestop weer toe Mnr Curraigh stoot sy leun figuur af van sy lessenaar en rustig strided aan die voorkant van die klas.

"Mnr Carlisle, wil om te verduidelik aan die klas hoekom is jy laat is? Weer."Sy nonchalant eerste sin grootliks gekontrasteer sy harde uitspraak van "weer". Onbewustelik het ek my kop laer as die klas is stil, ander klasse kan giggel, maar hulle weet nie om te skroef rond in hierdie klas.

Ek skud my kop " nee " nie ten volle vertrou my stem te beantwoord sonder om te hakkel.

"Ek kan nie hoor jy Archer. Sal jy verduidelik aan die klas hoekom is jy laat is."Sy skerp, aksent stem lui uit teen die stilte en geen ruimte gelaat om te verhoed dat sy vraag. Ek weet hy is op soek na my as hy wag vir sy antwoord. Ek het uiteindelik kyk op na hom, die beantwoording van stil as my blik voortdurend flikker tussen hom en die plafon.

"Ek het verslaap meneer, ek sal nie laat dit weer gebeur nie."Ek het probeer om aan te bied'n kalm gesig om hopelik ophou om hom van my roeping weer uit, my gedagtes binne-in is blêrende met gedagtes of hy sal aanvaar die verskoning of nie. 'n tweede slaag voordat hy loop terug na die witbord en begin skryf, almal vinnig kopieer dit af in hul notaboeke, die gesprek skynbaar vergeet. 'n aanduiding van die bekommer het voortgegaan om te nag in die agterkant van my kop dat hy geweet het my verskoning was'n vals, maar ek het nie tyd gehad om dit te gee enige nadenke as ek was reeds agter die val op die notas, en my onlangse pols besering is nie presies gaan om voordeel te trek my óf.

Die klas het uiteindelik geëindig het, die meeste mense is gepak en wag by die deur vir die klok, net'n paar mense sit by hul lessenaars. Ek snoepie die opgedra huiswerk in hul gids, plaas my notebook in my sak as goed. Ek bereik vir die gids wanneer die ander hand gryp dit die eerste keer, 'n hand wat aan geen student. Ek keek my oë voor vinnig kyk neer op die lessenaar, dit was Mnr Curraigh wat hou my huiswerk gids, hy was leun teen die lessenaar as hy afgeroomde deur die nou oop gids.

"Y'know, jou organisasie en sorg nie optel wanneer jy draai in geruk vraestelle."Hy sê as hy stadig sluit die gids, hou dit vir my uit te neem, wat ek doen vinnig volg deur met, stil plaas dit in my sak.

"Jy wil my vertel die werklike rede hoekom jy altyd lyk om te laat loop?"Mnr Curraigh vrae, sy gewoonlik hard en streng stem nou stiller en met'n wenk van kommer. Dit was'n paar oomblikke en ek het nog nie om te reageer wanneer hy stemme,

"Archer, as jy het'n werklike rede waarom jy is laat, ek verstaan, maar ek kan nie aanvaar hierdie vals verskonings nie. Hierdie is die 10de keer het jy is laat. As jy kan nie gee my'n ware rede dan het ek het om te gee jy aanhouding."Sy stem was nog nooit baie streng of harde regdeur die sin, met meer van'n waarskuwing toon vir dit, maar al wat ek kan uitkry as'n reaksie is om te onrustig skud my kop" nee " as ek kyk op om te voldoen aan sy blik. Mnr Curraigh net vorentoe kyk vir'n sekonde voor die vrystelling van'n bitter sug en druk af van die lessenaar.

"Moenie laat wees vir aanhouding Mnr Carlisle."Is al wat hy sê voor loop terug na sy lessenaar, die klok lui en die studente gedruis uit van die deur, myself volgende onmiddellik as om nie te laat wees om my volgende les. My gedagtes vir die res van die dag is vertroebel met hoe Alec sal reageer wanneer ek by die huis kom laat, hoe hy sal reageer wanneer ek vir hom sê ek het aanhouding weer. Die gevreesde poele in my bors, maak dit voel styf en die lug versmoor as ek strompel deur die dag.

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Eerste dag in ons nuwe huis, dit was'n huisie wat my ouers besit en ek geërf het. Ver weg van Ohio, ver weg van die Ryker, al die pad in Glasgow, Skotland, geleë in'n mooi area met lolling groen velde en'n klip muur netjies rondom dit.

Lisette en Alonso het die skuif beter as wat ek verwag het, sou dit lyk asof hulle wou om weg te kom soveel as wat ek gedoen het. Ek het genoem voor om seker te maak dat die huis is gereed vir wanneer ons aangekom het, en'n vriend van my ouers kom oor om te kyk na my kinders, want ek het om te gaan na my werk so gou as moontlik. Gedruis uit van die huis, het ek vinnig gee die vriend'n drukkie, vinnig met vermelding van die tyd ek sal tuis wees voor wedrenne oor na my gehuur Volkswagen voertuig. My sakke band draai as ek probeer om te plaas alles in die kar, ek het vinnig stoot dit in die passasiersitplek voor die aanpassing van die spieëls en die opskrif af na my nuwe werk.

Die grys wolke rommelstrooi die lug herinner my'n baie van die huis, maar hierdie besige stad is presies wat ek nodig het om te kry weg van my klein dorpie lewe. Ry aan die linkerkant is nogal vreemd, al is, iets wat sal neem sommige gewoond raak aan.

As ek trek in die parkeerterrein ek sien dat die skool is nader aan die einde van die dag, ek hoop ek sal nie afgedank kry voor ek selfs begin. Vinnig struikel deur die kantoor deur, ek reguit my postuur en hemp voor loop na die balie en verklaar ek is die nuwe wetenskap onderwyser. Die vrou glimlag voor bel iemand, ek neem aan die skoolhoof of miskien'n ander onderwyser.

Na wag vir sowat 2 minute, die kantoor deur hard clamors oop, 'n lang man met dik lig bruin hare en'n intimiderende statuur vordering in, gee'n klein knik na die vrou voor nader my. Ek staan op en skud sy aangebied hand.

"Hallo daar, ek is Mnr Curriagh of Aric, ek is hier om jou begelei na jou klas."Sy stem het'n dik aksent aan dit, iets wat ek sal hê om te kry wat gebruik word te nou, aangesien ek woon in Skotland. Sy intimiderend houding blyk te kontras met die vriendelike glimlag hy bied.

"Plesier om jou te ontmoet Aric, ek is Saden."Ek beleefd reageer voor om hom te lei my uit die kantoor en in die gang af.

"So, jy is die nuwe wetenskap onderwyser?"Hy stemme in effense nuuskierigheid, gaan voort om te navigeer die leë sale.

"Ja, wat doen jy leer?"Ek vraag, loop vinniger om tred te hou met sy vinnige tempo.

"O my? Ek het nog altyd'n literatuur persoon."Sy reaksie veroorsaak'n klein glimlag te verskyn, is die feit dat mense hier is so mooi en verwelkoming is iets wat ek aanbid. Ons kom tot stilstand gekom na die ander oomblik van die loop.

"Wel, dit is jou klas, maar jy aangekom het'n bietjie laat."Hy het verduidelik as ons kyk na die studente te pak hul sakke. Ek vrylating van'n stil sug, natuurlik sou ek mis die hele eerste dag van my werk.

"Moenie bekommerd wees oor die vermiste jou klas is, kan jy pop in om te help met die aanhouding of verken die gronde."Aric state as hy flikker sy oë van die venster na my, ek is oor om te reageer wanneer die klok lui hard, eggo deur die leë sale voor die klaskamer deure swaai oop en studente lêer uit. Ons albei staan naby die venster om my klas totdat die sale stil sit weer, slegs'n paar studente staan rond, terwyl sommige is nou net die afwerking van oppak.

Aric beurte om te praat om my weer as sy blik draai na iets agter my, sy skielike skree verrassings my, en ek het vinnig draai om om te sien die skuldige.

'n jong seun met donker bruin hare onmiddellik breek, sy oë gaan wye by geskree, sy arm strenger sy hou om sy boek klou teen sy bors.

"Archer. Aanhouding is in die ander rigting."Aric state as hy loop tot by die student. Ek sou verwag dat enige student om senuweeagtig te wees op wat genoem word deur'n onderwyser, maar hierdie student, Archer, verskyn ronduit vreesbevange.

Voor Archer in staat is om te reageer, Aric begin om weer te praat. "Dit is die tweede keer wat jy het probeer om oor te slaan aanhouding, Archer."Gee'n effense breek as hy wag vir'n antwoord, na ontvangs van niemand hy kom uit'n sug van irritasie voor en sê, "Kom saam met my Archer."Begin om te loop terug na my, Archer sleep'n paar stappe agter met sy oë opgelei op die vloer.

"Ek is jammer om te sny jou toer kort, maar ek het te begelei hierdie student te aanhouding."Aric state as hy kyk terug na Archer.

"Heeltemal in orde Aric, omgee as ek kom met? Ek het mis my eerste dag na alles."Ek vraag, skrams by Archer, sy oë nie verskuif van die vloer die hele tyd. Aric kortliks knik sy kop voor die leiding van die manier om te aanhouding. Ek het vinnig volg, probeer om tred te hou, luister as Aric beskryf die dele van die skool wat ons deurgaan.

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Wie is hierdie persoon? Is sy die nuwe juffrou? Sy het sê sy mis haar eerste dag hier, en ons nuwe onderwyser vir die wetenskap nie in staat was om te wys.

Ek lig my kop op, my oë het op soek na haar vir'n oomblik as ek oorweeg of ek moet vra my vraag is of nie. Uiteindelik gee in te nuuskierigheid, ek vra, "Is jy die nuwe wetenskap onderwyser?"My vraag blyk te skrik hulle albei uit van hul klein praat, Mnr Curraigh nou stil as ek wag op haar antwoord. Sy draai na my toe en bied'n vriendelike glimlag voor te reageer, "Ja, dit is my, jy kan my bel Mev Monroe."Haar reaksie is mooi maar kort, en haar stem gelyk te wankel effens toe sy sê haar laaste naam, wat veroorsaak dat my kop te kantel ooit so effens in verwarring by haar onwilligheid om te praat haar laaste naam.

"Dit is lekker om jou te ontmoet Mev Monroe, my naam is Archer."Ek het reageer, my stem skynbaar meer selfversekerd en harder as my normale toon, al het ek skaars gee dit'n gedagte. Vir die tyd wat oorgebly het van die loop te aanhouding, ek het dit praat met Mev Monroe, ek weet nie hoekom nie, maar sy was makliker om te praat met, dit kon gewees het van haar nie-intimiderend houding en hoogte is, of moontlik dat sy herinner my aan my ma, beide van wat is geloofwaardig.

Ons praat oor die boek was ek hou wanneer Mnr Curraigh kom tot'n stilstand, die kamer wat aanhouding is gehou in wat reg is in die voorkant van ons. Ek reik uit na gryp die handvatsel, 'n oomblik vergeet oor my pols besering totdat ek die vrylating van'n grunt van pyn, onmiddellik trek my pols terug en hou dit teen my bors as die harde aangrypende gevoel dat vloede my stelsel, wat my herinner van gister.

Beide Mnr Curraigh en Mev Monroe lyk geskok oor my skielike uitbarsting van pyn, Mev Monroe is oor om iets te sê maar ek het geen tyd om te dink, struikel agteruit ek draai effens en hardloop af. Ek gaan na die enigste plek waar ek veilig voel, Bingham se Dam, of Swan Dam as my ma gebruik om te sê, net om te onthou wat veroorsaak dat'n golf van angs te vee deur my liggaam, al hierdie dinge wat gebeur is te oorweldigend. Eers het ek verloor my ma en suster in'n motor-ongeluk, dan is my stap-pa(wat reeds nie van my hou nie) blameer my vir dit, en nou het ek'n onderwyser wat herinner my presies van my ma, ek weet eenvoudig nie hoe ek moet voel of te reageer op hierdie situasies nie. Ek is so vasgevang in hierdie produktiewe gedagtes en seer pyn wat ek versuim om te hoor die voetstappe nader kom. Dit was die skielike hand op my skouer wat veroorsaak het dat my om te snak in verrassing op die teenwoordigheid van'n ander persoon. Vinnig draai my kop het ek verwag om te sien'n woedende Mnr Curraigh of dalk Alec, maar ek is in plaas ontmoet deur Mev Monroe se hartseer glimlag as sy crouches langs my. Om uit te reik haar hand vir my pols ek wankel weg, maar na nog'n tweede toelaat dat haar om te sien my pols, ignoreer die moontlike gevolg dat sy dalk die vraag hoe ek volgehoue hierdie besering.

Dit was die effense verbreding van haar oë wat veroorsaak het dat my om te volg haar blik, ek verkies om nooit kyk na my beserings, so sien my pols al geswel en gekneus oorsake my oë te verbreed sowel. Sy het liggies raak aan my pols en ek het dadelik trek weg, die pyn skroei deur my arm. Sy lyk om daar te sit in'n oomblik van denke, as al oorweeg wat sy moet sê.

"Archer. Hoe het dit gebeur?"Daar was dit, die een ding wat ek nie wil hê om te hoor. Ek skud my kop en kyk weg, nou eers besef dat'n paar trane het gestroom my gesig af, vinnig vee hulle met my vry hand. Ek hoor nie'n reaksie op my weiering so ek kyk terug, sien Mev Monroe trane terug te hou as goed, al is die rede waarom, weet ek nie. Skud haar kop, sy stoot haarself af van die vloer, en bereik'n hand vir my, wat ek stadig neem. Nou staan ek stof myself af met my goeie hand, losweg hou my rugsak as ek wag op haar vrae.

Al wat sy doen is, skynbaar skud haar kop na haarself, voor beduie vir my om haar te volg. Sy lei my terug na die skool, nooit praat of loer na my, net staar vorentoe, byna emptily. Sy neem my na die mediese kamer en vertel my om te wag by die deur as sy loop weg om te gesels met'n verpleegster. Ek wonder wat sy sê, het sy vermoed dat my stap-pa het hierdie beserings? Of dink sy nog'n student het dit gedoen vir my? Moet ek net hardloop terwyl ek nog steeds die kans? My gedagtes is skielik gestop as beide Mev Monroe en die suster loop oor na my, my senuweeagtigheid skop in op'n ander persoon nou teenwoordig.

Ek probeer om nie aandag te gee aan die flare-ups van pyn as die suster toegedraai my pols in'n ys-sak, die ysige koue maak my bewe as die weer buite was reeds koud. Na'n paar minute van die versiersuiker my pols sy bring'n kompressie verband, snoesige wikkel my pols en hand, die pyn verminder nie, maar handhaaf'n bestendige pyn wat rondom my hele arm. Toe sy klaar sy gee my instruksies om te doen elke dag, en'n nota vir die klas om te sien as dit was my die skryf van die hand.

Loop oor na die deur, ek spot Mev Monroe wag daar, haar vriendelike glimlag vervang deur'n ernstige en streng kyk, een wat maak my voetstappe'n bietjie meer huiwerig. Ons verlaat die med kamer, en loop uit in die stil, verlate gang, haar gesig nog steeds ernstig as ons beide stop.

"Hoe het jy daardie besering Archer."Dit was nie'n vraag nie, maar iets wat aangedring het op'n antwoord, die een wat ek was baie huiwerig om te gee. Hengel my gesig weg van haar ek skud my kop " nee " weer, wil nie om haar te vertel die waarheid, my gedagtes blêrende dat dit sou lei tot meer pyn as goed, dat selfs indien sy het glo my, niemand anders sou.

"Archer, as jy nie vertel my, dan sal ek om jou te vertel die kantoor te bel jou pa."Sê sy, haar stem verloor sommige van dit is streng as sy pogings om my te kry om te antwoord.

Hoor haar bel Alec my pa veroorsaak dat al hierdie gevoelens om net ontplof, my woede vloei vrylik, en ek kan nie help nie, maar reageer chaoties, "HY IS NIE MY PA!"My skree echos af in die gang, die stilte het in sy wakker is ongemaklik, al die woede-gedrewe vertroue vinnig laat my lyf as ek uitasem. Sy is nie dom nie, sy gaan om uit te vind wat gaan aan, ek sal geneem word weg van my huis, die laaste plek wat herinner my van die ma en my suster.

Haar houding blyk te versterk na die aanhoor van my reaksie, ek kan net hoop sy sal nie kwaad wees saam met my uitbarsting.

"Ek is net gaan om te vra jy een meer tyd. Wat het dit gedoen."Haar stem was doodse stilte, die tweede sin om hard uiteengesit en laat geen ruimte vir verskonings. Ek het uiteindelik die gesig van haar, maar my kop is nog steeds verlaag, my oë flikker tot haar elke so dikwels as wat ek dink wat ek gaan sê.

"....Alec."My stem feitlik'n fluister, alhoewel ek weet sy het dit gehoor, en die wete dat iemand anders is bewus van hierdie geheim nie net veroorsaak dat my om te voel... kwesbaar.

Unraveled Ch.6: I Fucking Hate Reporters

Ch.5 Ch.7

The anger continues boiling inside me as I cut off from the road to the station, instead driving towards the Broadchurch Echo; the audacity of Oliver to publicly give Danny's name is appalling and a new low for him. This is going to be gaining too much attention, we're probably going to have some uppity reporter from national down here to stir up some trouble now.

I park my car right in front of the Echo, revving my engine in irritation before turning it off, stepping out, and slamming my door noisily before turning to look inside the building. Everyone near the door looks at my angry movements hesitantly, knowing I'm not just there to pop in and say hello; I ignore them, slamming the door open and furiously stride over to Oliver's desk. As I near him he looks up at me, almost as if he might smile until he realizes that I'm incredibly agitated right now. He opens his mouth, about to ask what is wrong, but I quickly silence him by harshly smacking him, everyone immediately quieting down at the audible smack that interrupted them.

"Ow! What the hell was that for!" He shouts at me, holding his cheek as he looks at me as if I'm crazy. My messy hair falls slightly into my eyes as I harshly grab his arm tightly, forcefully ripping it off his face and dragging him to Maggie's office, Oliver tripping slightly as I make no move to slow down. Maggie looks over at me in welcoming before seeing my facial expression,

"Elspeth! What can I do for you petal?" She questions as she looks at me, I harshly push Oliver forward, himself stumbling to the floor, both of them giving me an extremely surprised look due to how I'm usually quite a kind and mellow person.

"Sorry for barging in like this Maggie, but it seems you need a little help controlling your reporters." I grate out through clenched teeth, my face blank but my voice and eyes conveying the rage I am withholding. Oliver quickly brushes himself off as he fixes his now ruffled shirt, looking at me incredulously.

"What's he done this time?" Maggie sighs as she gets up from her desk.

"Go on Oliver, tell her what you did." I sternly growl as I sharply push him forwards. He looks down as though only now feeling guilty because he was caught, eyeing me before quickly turning away from the ferocious glare I was giving him.

"I announced that the body on the beach was Daniel Latimer's." He hesitantly spoke, sheepishly looking up at Maggie to see she was now just as angry as I am. We both make eye contact, I give her a look and she nods as a 'go ahead', I quickly give him another harsh smack, but this time on the back of the head, sending him reeling forward from the impact.

I slowly take a step back as I attempt to gather myself, the last time I got this angry I ended up attacking a man I knew was guilty but got let off. Needless to say, I don't want to almost kill someone again, I like my life in Broadchurch too much to give it up for some lousy reporter.

Taking in a deep breath, I ignore the yelling Oliver is receiving, clenching my fists and closing my eyes as I think back to when I was happy, mainly memories of when I was with Daisy and Alec. The anger in me gradually dissipates, though not completely, but enough that I can restrain myself. Finally opening my eyes, I glance over at Oliver, my first slap having left a bright red imprint that is sure to bruise later on, and he is currently still holding the back of his head. Maggie seems to still be yelling, but my mind is ignoring it. Finally stepping in I calmly explain,

"Maggie. You know what he's done, I'm not going to allow the Latimer's to blame Alec over something one of your reporters did." As I look over at my friend I watch as she runs a hand over her face in frustration, sighing as she nods for me to go on.

"You're both coming with me to explain what happened to Alec, then you're going to explain to the Latimer's, the last thing this case needs is the family not wanting to cooperate with the police." I sternly state in a tone of finality, glowering at Oliver one last time before motioning for them to follow me out. I don't wait for them to respond, I simply walk out of the office, knowing that both will follow.

Leading them down the road we approach the Traders hotel, I nod over to Becca in acknowledgement before herding the two into the bar. I leave them and head back over to Becca.

"Hi Becca, how's the hotel?" I ask out of politeness, leaning against the desk as I rub my tired eyes in hidden frustration. She smiles at me before responding,

"It's been fine, business has been a little bit slow, but that is to be expected. Can I help you in the bar?" She responds back with an uneasy smile, Becca and I have had our fair share of altercations, most were nonviolent, but I know she's being polite now cause she needs the money.

I motioned for her to walk to the bar, "Please, and while we're waiting in the bar, will you please tell D.I. Hardy that he has visitors when he arrives." I say as more of a statement than a request, Becca simply nods as she finally walks behind the bar and starts getting us our drinks.

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Oliver and Maggie were having a quiet conversation as we waited, mostly Maggie explaining to Oliver what he was going to say, how his actions will cause problems for the police, and that he should know that his actions were incredibly rude and inappropriate. She had attempted conversation with me as well since we are friends, but right now I am still irate at the situation. To be as nice as possible I only give short replies to avoid any possibility of snapping, and I completely ignore anything Oliver says, instead focusing on the Italian soda I am drinking, the peppermint syrup taste watered down slightly.

After a few more minutes of waiting I can hear footsteps entering the hotel as well as Becca trying to make conversation and find out if the beach will be open. People wondering that already just angers me even more, my tightening grasp on the glass is starting to turn my knuckles white. I look over my back to see my favorite disgruntled D.I. entering the room, looking warily at the two reporters sitting beside me before giving me a subtle friendly glance.

I run my eyes over his appearance swiftly, his hair is messier than usual, his loose tie is disastrous, and his shirt wrinkled. Judging by his stressed look, he most definitely is feeling pressured by the information being leaked, and probably gave the team a good shouting at.

He looks between us, having a harsh glare on Oliver before Maggie speaks,

"Well, go on." She urges, seeing Oliver's hesitance when facing the rigid D.I.

"I was, uh, I was wrong to post that news. I'm sorry." Oliver explains, I release my grip on the glass in fear of breaking it, turning away from them both and walking next to Alec, eyeing Oliver as I stop.

"I should hang him by the bollocks from the town hall spire. All reporting on this will come through me now. The Echo works with the police. I'll, uh, I'll speak to the Latimer family, give them our apologies." Maggie states, exasperated that one of her reporters would do such a thing. Our gazes drift away from Maggie and back to Oliver, who I know for a fact is not going to stop reporting on this whether Maggie likes it or not.

"Stay out of my way." Alec voices, his words not harshly spoken, but seeming to carry a silent threat. Oliver's slightly scared look is enough for me to allow myself to be pulled away by Alec as he walks away from them. He let's go of my arm and I turn to leave as well when he reaches out and stops me.

"You and I need to have a talk before the press conference." He states in his business tone since we are in hearing range of Becca, lord knows neither of us want this town to know about the past. After observing Alec's stern gaze I simply nod, knowing that we're talking whether I agree or not, allowing him to lead me to his room.

As we enter I hear the door close, taking a deep breath I turn and face Alec. Not expecting what happens next, I am pleasantly surprised to be pulled into a lingering embrace, returning it happily. We both pull away, and it is only now that I glimpse a boyish grin I haven't seen in quite awhile.

"What's got you all happy and smiley?" I tease with a questioning smirk, squinting my eyes playfully at his expression. He maintains the grin as he pushes me away bashfully.

"Oh nothing extraordinary, I've just finally come to the realization that my best friend is back." He states in his thick Scottish brogue, glancing over at me before back to the ground in embarrassment of how he's acting. I can't withhold my joyous smug grin at knowing he missed me as much as I missed him.

"You have no idea how much I've missed that accent." I state just above a whisper as I pull him back towards me, my arms resting on his while his rest lazily on my waist, both of us smiling at each other in glee in spite of recent events. Pushing away from him gently, I pull him over so we are both sitting on the bed, myself glancing at the time before quickly around his room while missing the fact that he is simply looking at me.

Finally stopping my wandering gaze I focus onto Alec, giving him a sheepish smile, my eyes drifting to the ground as I wring my hands slightly.

"Sorry... about Oliver. He's quite a brat, first he claims he's my boyfriend, and now he's giving away a dead child's information to the world." I explain in disgust, emphasizing on how he's a brat. Alec reaches over, grasping both my hands delicately to stop me from wringing them, his eyes visibly soften at how I'm apologizing for Oliver.

"No need to apologize Els, I knew from the first time I saw him that he was going to be a thorn in my side, so don't you dare go apologizing for him." He answers in a serious tone as he subconsciously runs his thumb lightly over the top of my hand. I grin back at him, I've always noticed that he was kind to me and only me, even with Tess he never seemed to be this gentle and vulnerable.

"I've really missed you." He quietly states, bringing me out of my thoughts, looking up into his amber brown eyes. A slight smile formed on my lips at their warmness.

"I'm really sorry about leaving, I understand if you hold a grudge against me for that. After all, I didn't even tell you where I was going, or that I even was going." I respond and retract my hands, fearful that even with him being so kind, he would still hold a grudge. I am pleasantly surprised when he lets out a gruff chuckle, not sinister or anything, more of an amused one. I looked up at him in confusion, I was sure he would hold a grudge against me.

"Oh Els, after all our years of friendship! I was sure you would know by now, that it is impossible for me to stay angry at you." He exclaims in amusement, holding out his hands for me to grasp them again, which I willingly do.

After talking with him, we ended up with us laying down and staring at the ceiling as we talked, almost forgetting about the conference in a few hours. We quickly catch up on what we've missed since we've been separated. I learned more about the divorce, like how the rumors about Tess cheating were true, how he didn't even fight to get her back, and how he and Daisy seem to have an even greater tension in their relationship now, apparently she barely even answers let alone returns his calls; and then, worst of all, how Tess lost evidence and Alec took the blame for it.

The guilt of me leaving returns, I openly apologize for leaving him alone, but he is so forgiving to me that it makes me feel even more guilty, though I withhold telling him that. In return to his explanation, I explain how I've been doing in Broadchurch, how I've become a fairly popular person, most people in the area at least know me, though my closest friends would be Ellie and Beth. The things I do keep from him are all my health issues I have now, depression, insomnia, and panic attacks would only make him worry, and I am most definitely not going to tell him about what happened in my first month of being in Broadchurch that caused the panic attacks. Continuing on, Alec questions how I can even put up with Ellie, which ends up with both of us having a laugh as we argue about Ellie.

"She's not that bad, she welcomed me without a question when I arrived." I state as I look over at Alec with a giggle, thinking back to when I first arrived and felt like a fish out of water.

"I can't bloody stand her, she just smiles so much, and can't remain objective, and she acts like she's everybody's bloody solicitor." He replies with slight frustration at Ellie's friendly attitude. I simply give him a grin as I turn over onto my side and poke his chest in an amused way.

"Maybe if you weren't such an ass, you would get along with her better." I playfully accuse, emphasizing him acting like an ass to everyone. He glares at me before quickly grabbing my hand, though surprisingly gentle. His playful glare slips away as a new look enters his eyes, one I haven't seen him give me since back in high school.

The look in his eyes is one of love, placing a soft kiss on my hand as he looks up at me. My eyes widened slightly, I've liked him since high school, but I never acted on it in fear of the repercussions and my feelings became dormant, and when he married Tess I thought his feelings for me were gone, but clearly not.

"Never knew you as the romantic type Alec." I state quietly, trying to play it off as if he were simply teasing me. We both sit up now, still looking at each other in silent tension, both unsure about what to do next, though neither of us is uncomfortable. I make no move away from him as he lightly cups my jaw in his hand, and slowly brings us closer together.

We are mere centimeters away from each other now, he hesitates slightly as he glances down at my lips momentarily before searching my eyes.

"Tell me to stop, and I will." He voices, slightly hoarse in anticipation and nervousness. I swallow slightly as I look into his warm and welcoming eyes, only nodding my head in fear my voice will fail me.

He quickly searches my eyes once more for any signs of rejection before swiftly moving forward, our lips meeting before I can truly believe what's going on.

Once, then twice, the first seeming as a hesitant one, almost as if testing the water to make sure it's safe to go further. The second was far different, almost as if all his pent up emotion was trying to be conveyed in one moment, it was during the second that I realized I'd never have enough of him. Both of us feel a fervent, almost urgent need for each other, as if all our years of dormant feelings are trying to make up for it in this one moment.

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The conference was now only about 40 minutes away, and Alec still hadn't changed out of his disgruntled clothes and into his other suit, but then again, we both were a bit distracted.

After a couple more minutes of indulgence I finally had enough self-control to break apart, both of us panting slightly though still looking at each other hungrily.

I softly place my hand on his chest before giving him a short kiss and pushing him away.

"Come on, we had a couple hours to get ready for that conference, and now we are nearing only having a half hour left." I say as we continue to look at each other. Neither of us truly want to separate, but knowing that we have to. He slowly pushes himself up and stands, holding out his hand and helping me up as well.

"I have to pop off back home to get changed, but I'll meet you at the station." I explain as I walk towards a mirror and straighten my shirt and hair to make it look like I didn't just have a snog.

"Fair enough." Alec responds as he grabs another suit, though surprising me by walking up and softly kissing my cheek.

"I'll see you at the station." He states, his voice hoarse as he smiles at me before I leave.

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Driving back to the station, my normal blue business suit changed to a formal black one, a pair of black Dr. Martens boots shined to perfection, my hair also neatly combed.

I enter the code and drive into the parking area, quickly pulling the top up and locking the doors. Entering the station I greet the uniforms before heading off to our section of the building.

As I walk in I am greeted by Alec nearly bumping into me, a blush rising on my cheeks before our attention is pulled over to Ellie talking to us.

"Look at this. CCTV from the town center, last night." Both of us walked over to different sides of her chair and leaned over her desk to watch.

"Is that Danny?" Alec questions.

"It matches his clothes and his height. And that looks like his skateboard. He wasn't abducted." Ellie states as we watch the footage.

"He snuck out?" I mumble, wondering why, where or who he would possibly be going to see that late at night.

"Why? Where was he going? Who was he meeting?" Alec vocalizes everything I was just thinking.

"And where's his skateboard?" I fire back, earning a 'yeah' in response.

"Oh, and another thing. I was checking through the list of belongings recovered from Danny's body and at home, and there's no mobile phone. He definitely had one, because he and Tom, my son, had the same model. Virtually identical." Ellie continues, causing only more questions to pop into my head. Ignoring the rest of what they were saying as I think about what I've heard, where is his phone and skateboard? Someone is definitely keeping them, so who? They would've had to either be out really late/early, or be the killer, did the phone have proof of them meeting?

I'm dragged out of my thoughts, realizing Alec had just walked off and Ellie looked surprised.

"Spacing off again, CARLISLE?" Ellie sarcastically questions, over-emphasizing my last name.

"No idea what you're talking about, MILLER." I sassily reply before walking off, both of us giggling to ourselves because of our childish antics.

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Alec is a few minutes away from going up in front of the cameras. I quickly pull him aside, fretting over his messy hair and loose tie, only earning an amused look from him.

"I'll be fine, I always look this way." He says as I do up the top button, brushing his hair out of his face.

"That's what worries me." I respond before finishing his look by tightening his tie and smoothing his shirt. Giving him a small smile before kissing him on the cheek and sending him to wait to be called up. The only thought running through my head is,

"What am I going to do with that man?"

Ch.5 Ch.7

Realitet Pakuptim(Albanian)

Ishte herët të enjten në mëngjes kur ajo mori lajmin e tmerrshëm se burri i saj kishte vdekur.

Ajo kishte pyetur veten pse ai nuk u kthye në shtëpi natën e kaluar, edhe duke pritur nga telefoni, përfundimisht duke e thirrur atë por kurrë nuk mori një përgjigje.

Ajo sapo kishte ecur me femijet E saj, Liseta dhe Alonso, ne rrugen e tyre te gjate per ne autobusin e shkolles ne pritje, duke pershendetur me kujdes teksa ajo iku me zhurme, duke e lene ate te buzeqeshte dhe te bjere me dore teksa autobusi nuk shihej. Duke u kthyer në shtëpi ajo kuptoi se zogjtë ishin veçanërisht të qetë, në mënyrë jo normale kështu, kjo e bëri heshtjen të parehatshme pasi ajo ishte e bllokuar me mendimet e saj të paprera; as era kërcitëse gjethet e rënë nuk ishte aq e zhurmshme sa zakonisht. Ajo i zbuti flokët e saj gërsheta të zeza anash përpara se të tërhiqte pa pushim në mëngët e pulovrës së saj blu-gri, duke i mbështjellur fort krahët rreth trupit të saj ndërsa ajo filloi të kthehej në shtëpi, duke dëgjuar nga afër kërcitjen nën këpucët e saj, mendja e saj ende ende ende ende po bredh në konfuzion se ku ishte burri i Saj, Rykeri. Disa hapa larg verandës së saj, ajo e ngadalësoi duke ecur ndërsa dëgjoi tingullin e një makine, hapat e saj u lëkundën pak ndërsa ajo u kthye, duke zbuluar modelin e zi e të bardhë të Belmontit, Makinën e policisë Së Ohajos që po i vinte drejt saj. Shkëlqimi kundër xhamit të përparmë nga qielli gri e bëri të pamundur për të parë se kush po i jepte makinës, duke e lënë të pasigurt nëse do të ndjehet i gëzuar apo i shqetësuar me pamjen e papritur.

Sa më afër i afrohej aq më shpejt rrahja e zemrës së saj, duke marrë frymë thellë ndërsa ajo shikonte makinën të tërhiqej pak metra larg. Duart e saj në mënyrë të pandërgjegjshme duke u përdredhur me njëri-tjetrin ndërsa ajo priti që dera e makinës të hapej, papritmas të ndihej e parehatshme edhe pse ishte mjaft ftohtë. Ajo i dinte rreziqet që i kishte burri i saj për shkak të punës së tij, dhe e dinte se ai mund të plagosej apo vritej në çdo thirrje, por asgjë nuk do ta përgatiste atë për vështrimin e dëshpëruar të oficerëve teksa dilte nga makina.

Rykeri ishte duke thirrur me partnerin e tij për një grabitje dhe hyrje në një zonë banimi, krimineli kishte dalë nga mbrapa dhe e kapi shtëpinë për t'u afruar pas tyre ndërsa hynin nga dera e shkatërruar, duke qëlluar të dy herë prapa, para se të vraponin. Policia po e kërkonte tani atë, por ka vetëm dy dëshmitarë, një që e pa atë ndërsa filloi të hapte derën e tyre dhe një komshi që pa se çfarë po ndodhte dhe thirri policinë.

Siç e shpjegoi oficeri se çfarë i ndodhi mendjes së saj u zbraz, zhurma tashmë e zhdukur e pyllit plotësisht dhe se nxehtësia e parehatshme u zhduk papritur, duke e lënë trupin e saj në vend të kësaj të ndjehej bosh. Ajo shpejt e gjeti veten të detyruar të kthehet në realitet kur oficeri kishte arritur të prekte shpatullën e saj, nuk ishte e pasjellshme apo e padëshirueshme, pasi ky oficer ishte shok i mirë me veten dhe Rykerin, por papritur dhe papritur kontakti i papritur e tronditi aq sa t'ia merrte shpatullën dhe të bënte një hap mbrapa. Dhe, ja, ai u tërhoq prej krahut të vet, e shikimi i tij u ul poshtë në dysheme, e ajo filloi të pendohet, sikurse ajo e kuptoi se ka vepruar.

Më në fund tha, "Më vjen keq Carter, ndjehem pak i tronditur për momentin."Zëri i saj me trimëri të qetë, një belbëzim i vogël ndërsa përpiqet të kuptojë dhe të kontrollojë të gjitha emocionet që kalojnë përmes saj. Një pamje mirkuptimi lahet në fytyrën e tij para se t'i tund kokën solemnisht dhe të kthehet në makinë, "Lamtumirë E Trishtuar."Carter foli, duke ofruar një buzëqeshje të shkurtër, të trishtuar para se të hynte në makinën e tij dhe të largohej.

Kishte shumë mendime që nxitonin në kokën e Sadenit, të gjitha lajmet nuk e goditën ende plotësisht. Me mendjen e saj duke garuar ajo u fut ngadalë në kabinën e saj në shtëpi, duke mbyllur derën para se të pushonte ballin e saj ashpër kundër drurit të ngjyrosur, duke i dhënë vetes një moment paqeje para se të largohej dhe të shkonte në telefon për të bërë disa telefonata.

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Shtëpia është e errët, duke dhënë një aureolë shqetësuese dhe e lëvizur; dielli nuk ka lindur ende dhe nuk ka drita pranë, megjithatë këtu është një djalë me uniformën e shkollës dhe çantën e tij në heshtje duke mbyllur derën e përparme. Ai fillon të largohet nga shtëpia e tij shpejt, atmosfera e shqetësuar që e rrethon atë ngadalë duke u larguar nga larg sa më larg, shpatullat e tensionuara dhe duke u pakësuar në një paranojë të lehtë.

Ai ka një shenjë mbi sy, ngjyra e kuqe që e bën të qartë kundër lëkurës së tij të zbehtë. Ai mori këtë shenjë në të njëjtën kohë që humbi nënën dhe gjysmë motrën e tij, përplasja me makinë ishte brutale, vetëm ai dhe një nga pasagjerët e tjerë që kishin mbijetuar.

Ai i mban sytë larg nga dritat e verbëra që kalojnë çdo herë kur ai ecën në trotuar, paranoja e tij duke u zhdukur sa më afër Pellgut Të Bingham-it. Ai gjen një vend larg rrugës, duke vënë çantën e tij poshtë ndërsa sheh mjellmat dhe rosat e përgjumura. Një buzëqeshje e vogël nderon tiparet e tij siç e mban mend kur ai dhe nëna E tij, Liz, vinin këtu herët në mëngjes për të folur dhe parë lindjen e diellit para shkollës; buzëqeshja e tij zhdukej sa më shpejt që kishte arritur, kur e kuptoi se mund të vinte vetëm këtu tani. Ai gjithmonë mund t'i kërkonte njerkut Të Tij Alek të vinte me të, por kishte frikë nga çdo përgjigje që Dha Aleku, veçanërisht tani që ai ishte i vetmi që i mbijetoi përplasjes së makinës.

Në një përpjekje për të shkundur mendimet e tij nga e kaluara ai shikon prapa tek mjellmat, admiron bukurinë e tyre në ujin e errët. Disa rrezet e para të diellit fillojnë të shkëlqejnë në qiellin e zbehtë, një fllad i lehtë që e bën atë të dridhet pasi ai nuk ka xhaketë uniforme që kushton para shtesë. Ndërkohë që ai ulet dhe përkulet kundër një peme ai e shuan dhimbjen që i ndez në shpinë para se ta shkundte dhe ta tërhiqte çantën drejt tij, duke zbërthyer metalin ngrirës dhe duke u afruar, duke tërhequr një dosje që përmban detyra shtëpie të pambaruara.; shumë prej tyre ishin rrënuar e lotë, edhe pse ai i mbante në dosje. Duke liruar një psherëtimë të lodhur dhe të dëshpëruar, ai filloi të punonte, duke filluar me emrin e tij, 'Arçer Carlisle', duart e tij të ftohta po e bëjnë më të vështirë për të shkruar dhe për të parë dritat e rëndimit nëpër sytë e tij, ndërsa ai e di se nuk do t'i bëjë të gjitha këto detyra shtëpie përpara shkollës; frikë mbushjes së tij me mendimin për t'i treguar Alekut për klasën e keqe edhe pse detyra e tij të pambaruara dhe të shqyera ishte faji I Alekut. Me një psherëtimë tjetër ai u kthye në punë, duke u përpjekur për të përfunduar sa më shpejt dhe sa më saktë të jetë e mundur.

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Ka kaluar një javë që kur më thanë për vdekjen e tij, e dija që nuk mund të rrija në Shtëpinë tonë të rehatshme Të Ohajos, veçanërisht që kur Rykeri e ndërtoi atë; vetëm se duke hyrë nga dera më bëri të vjellë duke e ditur se nuk do ta shoh më kurrë.

Funerali ishte dje pasdite... Fustani i zi që kisha veshur tani është një grumbull hiri gri në zjarr. Vajza Ime Liseta shkoi me mua, ishte një ditë me erë me një spërkatje shiu të hedhur në tokë jashtë; duket se bota madje po vajtonte për humbjen, por kjo është ndoshta vetëm unë që po i vë gjërat e thjeshta. Djali Im Alonso e mori vdekjen e babait te tij shume fort, e di se sa afer ishin, dhe duke pare djalin tim duke qajtur beri nje lot permes fasadës time te fuqise, por me duhej ta fshija shpejt teksa perqafoja djalin tim duke qajtur. E qara e tij zgjati për një orë, Liseta filloi të qante, gjithashtu kur pa formën që dridhej Nga e imja. Atë natë ndenja me ta në dhomën e tyre, ulur në dysheme në mes dy shtretërve të tyre, një dorë është kapur në secilën nga të miat siç u thashë histori për t'i joshur ata për të fjetur. Kur e dija që ata ishin në gjumë, vazhdova t'i mbaja duart e tyre, duke u anuar kokën time pas murit të drurit teksa shikoja lart në tavan, drita nga hëna duke krijuar hijet e degëve të pemëve në murin e kundërt. Thjesht u ula aty, duke menduar për telefonatat që bëra ditën që mora lajmet.; deri javën tjetër, ajo që ka mbetur nga familja ime do të jetë në vilën Tonë Skoceze, larg nga këtu, larg tij.

Akoma duhet t'u them fëmijëve, nuk jam i sigurt si t'u them që po largohemi, nga gjithçka që na kujton babain e tyre. Unë vetëm mund të shpresoj se ata nuk do të përbuzë mua për këtë vendim, por vetëm duke qëndruar në këtë shtëpi shkakton mendjen time për të enden në një drejtim unë nuk do të lejojë veten për të shkuar në.

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Zilja bie me zë të lartë ndërsa unë ngutem në derën e mbylljes së klasës sime, duke shikuar në dhomë unë i shoh të gjithë të ulur dhe mësuesi duke më shikuar me vëmendje. Duke ulur vështrimin tim, shtroj detyrat e shtëpisë dhe kthej faqet e përfunduara në kosh para se të kaloj në tavolinën e mësuesit tim për të arritur sediljen time, duke shmangur vështrimin e tij dhe të gjithë të tjerëve gjatë gjithë kohës.

E di që nuk duhet të trembem nga mësuesit e mi, Por Z. Currai ka të njëjtin zë të ashpër si Aleku, dhe nuk mund të ndihmoj por të jem i shqetësuar sa herë që shkel në klasën e tij; rregullat e tij strikte dhe frikësuese nuk më ndihmojnë saktësisht kur përpiqem të bëj dallimin me të dy.

Z. Currai po më shikon nga kompjuteri i tij, unë gëlltis nervozisht dhe ndaj pak në sediljen time ndërsa shikoj poshtë në letrën që kam vendosur me delikatesë mbi tavolinën time. Biseda e qetë e klasës kishte rifilluar disa momente më parë, por u ndal shpejt kur Z.Currai shtyu figurën e tij të anuar nga tavolina e tij dhe eci në kohën e parë të klasës.

"Z. Carlisle, dëshiron t'i shpjegosh klasës pse u vonove? Përsëri."Dënimi i tij i parë mospëlqyes kundërshtoi shumë fjalimin e tij të ashpër 'përsëri'. Në mënyrë të pandërgjegjshme unë e ul kokën time si klasa është e heshtur, klasa të tjera mund të qeshin, por ata nuk e dinë për të bërë shaka në këtë klasë.

E tund kokën ' jo ' i besoj plotësisht zërit tim për t'iu përgjigjur pa belbëzuar.

"Nuk të dëgjoj, Arçer. Mund t'ia shpjegosh klasës pse u vonove."Zëri i tij i mprehtë, i theksuar ra kundër heshtjes dhe nuk la vend për të shmangur pyetjen e tij. E di që po më shikon teksa pret përgjigjen e tij. Më në fund e shikoj atë, duke u përgjigjur qetësisht ndërsa shikimi im dridhet vazhdimisht midis tij dhe tavanit.

"Fjeta shumë, zotëri, nuk do të lejoj që të ndodhë përsëri."U përpoqa të prezantoja një fytyrë të qetë për ta ndaluar atë që të më thërrasë përsëri, mendja ime brenda po shtien me mendime në se ai do të pranojë justifikimin apo jo. Një e dytë kalon para se ai të kthehet në tabelën e bardhë dhe të fillojë të shkruaj, të gjithë shpejt kopjojnë atë poshtë në fletoret e tyre, biseda duket se është harruar. Mendimi i shqetësimit vazhdoi të më acaronte në kokë se ai e dinte se justifikimi im ishte i rremë, por nuk kisha kohë për të dhënë atë ndonjë spidim pasi unë isha tashmë duke mbetur pas shënimeve, dhe lëndimi im i fundit i dorës nuk do të përfitonte as nga unë.

Klasa përfundoi më në fund, shumica e njerëzve ishin paketuar dhe po prisnin tek dera për zilen, vetëm pak njerëz ishin ulur në tavolinat e tyre. I vë detyrat e shtëpisë në dosjen e tyre, dhe e vendos bllokun tim në çantën time. E arrij dosjen kur një dorë tjetër e kap në fillim, një dorë që nuk i takon asnjë studenti. I mbaj sytë lart para se të shikoj poshtë në tavolinë, Ishte Z. Currai ai që po mbante dosjen e detyrave të shtëpisë, ai po anonte mbi tavolinë ndërsa po kalonte nëpërmjet dosjes së hapur tani.

"E dini, organizata dhe kujdesi juaj nuk rritet kur ju ktheheni në letra të shqyera."Ai pohon se ndërsa mbyll ngadalë dosjen, duke e mbajtur atë jashtë për mua që ta marr, gjë që e ndjek shpejt, duke e vendosur atë në çantën time.

"Do të më thuash arsyen e vërtetë pse duket gjithmonë se je vonuar?"Z. Curraig pyetje, zëri i tij normalisht i zhurmshëm dhe i ashpër tani është më i qetë dhe që përmban një aluzion shqetësimi. Kanë kaluar disa momente dhe duhet të përgjigjem kur të zërojë.,

"Arçer, nëse ke një arsye të vërtetë se pse je vonë, e kuptoj, por nuk mund t'i pranoj më këto justifikime të rreme. Kjo është hera e 10-të që je vonuar. Nëse nuk mund të më japësh një arsye të vërtetë atëherë më duhet të të dënoj."Zëri i tij nuk ishte kurrë shumë i rreptë apo i ashpër gjatë dënimit, duke patur më shumë një ton paralajmërues ndaj tij, por e gjitha që mund të grumbulloj është të tund kokën ngadalë' jo ' ndërsa shikoj lart për të takuar vështrimin e tij. Z. Curraig thjesht pret një sekondë para se të lëshojë një psherëtimë të eksperuar dhe të largohet nga tavolina.

"Mos u vono për paraburgim Z. Carlisle."Është e vetmja gjë që thotë ai para se të kthehet në tavolinën e tij, zilja e ziles dhe studentët që nxitojnë të dalin nga dera, unë ndjek menjëherë që të mos vonohem në mësimin tim të ardhshëm. Mendimet e mia për pjesën tjetër të ditës janë të mjegulluara se si Do të reagojë Aleku kur të kthehem vonë në shtëpi, si do të reagojë kur t'i them se kam dënim përsëri. Pellgjet e tmerrshme në gjoksin tim, e bëjnë të ndihen të shtrënguara dhe ajri mbytet ndërsa unë e kaloj ditën.

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Ditën e parë në shtëpinë tonë të re, ishte një vilë që e kishin prindërit e mi dhe unë e trashëgova. Larg Nga Ohajo, larg Nga Rykeri, Deri në Glasgou, Skoci, i vendosur në një zonë të mirë me fushat e gjelbëra dhe një mur guri që e rrethon me kujdes.

Liseta dhe Alonso e kishin marre levizjen me mire se sa e prisja, duket se ata donin te largoheshin aq sa une. Kisha thirrur përpara që të sigurohesha që vila ishte gati kur mbërritëm, dhe një mik i prindërve të mi do të vinte të shikonte fëmijët e mi që kur më duhet të shkoj në punën time sa më shpt të jetë e mundur. Duke vrapuar nga shtëpia, i jap një përqafim shokut, shpejt duke deklaruar se do të jem në shtëpi para se të garoj tek makina Ime Me qira Volksvagen. Lidhëset e çantave që përdredhin teksa përpiqem të vendos gjithçka në makinë, shpejt e fus në ndenjësen e pasagjerit para se të rregulloj pasqyrat dhe të nisem për në punën time të re.

Retë gri të shpërndara në qiell më kujtojnë shumë shtëpi, por ky qytet i zënë është pikërisht ajo që unë kam nevojë për të marrë larg nga jeta ime e vogël e qytetit. Të ngasësh në anën e majtë është shumë e çuditshme, diçka që do të mësohej me të.

Kur hyra në parking vura re se shkolla është afër fundit të ditës, shpresoj të mos më pushojnë as para se të filloj. Shpejt duke dalë nga dera e zyrës, rregulloj qëndrimin dhe këmishën para se të shkoj në tavolinë dhe të pohoj se jam mësuesi i ri i shkencës. Gruaja buzëqesh para se t'i telefonojë dikujt, mendoj drejtori ose ndoshta një mësues tjetër.

Pas pritjes për rreth 2 minuta, dera e zyrës hapet me zë të lartë, një njeri i gjatë me flokë të trashë ngjyrë kafe dhe një shtat frikësues futet brenda, duke i dhënë një tundje të vogël gruas para se të më afrohet mua. Ngrihem dhe i jap dorën e ofruar.

"Përshëndetje, Unë jam Z. Curriagh ose Aric, jam këtu për t'ju shoqëruar në klasën tuaj."Zëri i tij ka një theks të trashë për të, diçka që do të më duhet të mësohem gjithashtu tani që kur jetoj në Skoci. Qëndrimi i tij frikësues duket se kontraston me buzëqeshjen miqësore që ofron ai.

"Gëzohem Që të njoha Ariç, Jam i Trishtuar."Unë me edukatë përgjigjem përpara se ai të më nxjerrë nga zyra dhe poshtë korridorit.

"Pra, ti je mësuesi i ri i shkencës?"Ai shpreh kureshtje të vogël, duke vazhduar të lundrojë në sallat bosh.

"Po, çfarë mëson?"Unë vë në dyshim, duke ecur më shpejt për të mbajtur ritmin e tij të mprehtë.

"Oh mua? Unë gjithmonë kam qenë një person letërsie."Reagimi i tij bën që të duket një buzëqeshje e vogël, fakti se njerëzit këtu janë kaq të mirë dhe mikpritës është diçka që unë e adhuroj. Ne kemi ardhur në një ndalesë pas një tjetër momenti të ecjes.

"Epo, kjo është klasa jote, edhe pse erdhe pak vonë."Ai shpjegon ndërsa ne shohim studentët që paketojnë çantat e tyre. Nëse lëshoj një psherëtimë të qetë, sigurisht që do të më mungonte e gjithë dita e parë e punës sime.

"Mos u shqetësoni për humbjen e klasës tuaj, ju mund të vini për të ndihmuar me paraburgimin ose për të eksploruar terrenin."Ariç pohon se ndërsa ai hedh sytë nga dritarja tek unë, unë do të përgjigjem kur zilja të bjerë me zë të lartë, duke i bërë jehonë përmes sallave bosh përpara se dyert e klasës të hapen dhe studentët të dalin. Ne të dy qëndrojmë pranë dritares deri në klasën time të qetë përsëri, vetëm disa studentë qëndrojnë rreth, ndërsa disa janë vetëm duke përfunduar paketimin.

Ariç kthehet të më flasë përsëri kur shikimi i tij kthehet pas meje, britma e tij e papritur më befason, dhe shpejt kthehem të shoh fajtorin.

Një djalë i ri me flokë të errët ngjyrë kafe menjëherë ndalon, sytë e tij shkojnë gjerë nga të bërtiturat, krahun e tij shtrënguar mbi librin e tij të shtrënguar në gjoksin e tij.

"Arçer. Dënimi është në drejtimin tjetër."Ariç pohon ndërsa shkon tek studenti. Do të prisja që çdo student të ishte nervoz që të thirrej nga një mësues, por ky student, Arçer, u duk i tmerruar plotësisht.

Para Se Arçeri të mund të përgjigjet, Ariç fillon të flasë përsëri. "Kjo është hera e dytë që po përpiqesh të kapërcesh paraburgimin, Arçer."Duke dhënë një pushim të vogël ndërsa ai pret për një përgjigje, pasi nuk ka marrë asnjë, ai lëshoi një psherëtimë irritimi para se të deklaronte," Eja me Mua Arçer."Duke filluar të më kthehet pas, Arçer, duke ndjekur disa hapa prapa me sytë e tij të stërvitur në dysheme.

"Më vjen keq që e shkurtova turneun tuaj, por më duhet ta shoqëroj këtë student në paraburgim."Ariç thotë se ai shikon Prapa Arçerit.

"Mjaft mirë Ariç, të vjen keq nëse vij me ty? E humba ditën time të parë pas së gjithash."Unë pyes, duke i vështruar Arçer, sytë e tij nuk kanë lëvizur nga dyshemeja gjatë gjithë kohës. Ariç shkurtimisht e tund kokën para se të çojë në paraburgim. Unë shpejt ndjek, duke u përpjekur për të mbajtur lart, duke dëgjuar si Aric përshkruan pjesët e shkollës që ne kalojmë nëpër.

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Kush është ky person? A është ajo mësuesi i ri? Ajo tha se e humbi ditën e parë këtu, dhe mësuesi ynë i ri për shkencën nuk ishte në gjendje të vinte.

Ngre kokën lart, sytë e mi duke e parë atë për një moment dhe mendoj nëse duhet të pyes apo jo. Më në fund duke i dhënë kuriozitetit, pyes, "a jeni ju mësuesi i ri i shkencës?"Çështja ime duket se i tremb ata të dy nga biseda e tyre e vogël, Z. Currai tani i heshtur ndërsa pres reagimin e saj. Ajo kthehet tek unë dhe ofron një buzëqeshje miqësore para se të përgjigjet, "po, ky jam Unë, Ju mund të më thërrisni Znj Monroe."Reagimi i saj është i këndshëm por i shkurtër dhe zëri i saj u duk të lëkundej pak kur tha mbiemrin e saj, duke e bërë kokën time të përkulet kaq pak në konfuzion ndaj hezitimit të saj për të folur mbiemrin e saj.

"Gëzohem Që ju njoh Znj. Monro, unë quhem Arçer."Unë përgjigjem, zëri im duket më i sigurt dhe më i fortë se toni im normal, ndonse mezi e mendoj atë. Për çfarë kohe ka mbetur nga shëtitja deri në dënim, e kalova duke folur me Znj Monroe, nuk e di pse, por ajo dukej e lehtë për të folur me të, mund të kishte qenë nga qëndrimi dhe lartësia e saj jo frikësuese, ose ndoshta që ajo të më kujtonte nënën time, të dy të cilat janë të besueshme.

Po flisnim për librin që po mbaja kur Z.Currai u ndal, dhoma e paraburgimit mbahet përpara nesh. E kap dorën, e harroj menjëherë dëmtimin e dorës, derisa të çliroj një hungërimë dhimbje, menjëherë duke e tërhequr kyçin e dorës dhe duke e mbajtur në kraharor si agoni e ashpër që përmbyt sistemin tim, duke më kujtuar të djeshmen.

Z. Curraigh dhe Znj Monroe duken të tronditur nga shpërthimi im i papritur i dhimbjes, Znj Monroe është gati për të thënë diçka, por unë nuk kam kohë të mendoj, duke u penguar mbrapsht unë kthehem pak dhe iki. Unë shkoj në vendin e vetëm ku ndihem i sigurt, Pellgu I Bingamit, apo Pellgu I Mjellmave siç thoshte nëna ime; vetëm duke kujtuar se shkakton një valë ankthimi për të kaluar përmes trupit tim, të gjitha këto gjëra që vazhdojnë të ndodhin janë shumë dërrmuese. Në fillim humbas nënën dhe motrën në një aksident me makinë, pastaj njerku im(i cili tashmë nuk më pëlqeu) më fajëson mua për këtë, dhe tani kam një mësues që më kujton saktësisht nënën time, thjesht nuk e di se si duhet të ndjehem ose të përgjigjem për këto situata më. Jam kaq i zënë me këto mendime pjellore dhe dhimbje, saqë nuk i dëgjoj hapat që po më afrohen. Ishte dora e papritur në supin tim ajo që më bëri të gulçoja në prani të një personi tjetër. Shpejt po e kthej kokën, pres të shoh Z. Curraig ose ndoshta Alek, por në vend të kësaj jam takuar nga buzëqeshja e trishtuar E Znj Monroe ndërsa ajo strukej pranë meje. Duke kapur dorën e saj për kyçin tim të dorës, unë përkulem, por pas një sekonde tjetër e lejoj të shohë kyçin tim, duke injoruar pasojat e mundshme që ajo të dyshonte se si e kam duruar këtë plagë.

Ishte një zgjerim i vogël i syve të saj që më bëri të ndiqja vështrimin e saj, zgjodha të mos shikoja kurrë plagët e mia, kështu që pashë kyçin tim të fryrë dhe të nxirë sytë e mi për tu zgjeruar. Ajo prek lehtë kyçin tim të dorës dhe unë menjëherë largohem, dhimbja përvëluese në krahun tim. Ajo duket të ulet aty në një moment mendimi, sikur po mendon atë që duhet të thotë.

"Arçer. Si ndodhi kjo?"Ja ku ishte, e vetmja gjë që nuk doja të dëgjoja. E tund kokën dhe vështroj larg, vetëm tani e kuptoj se disa lot më ishin derdhur në fytyrë, duke i fshirë shpejt me dorën time të lirë. Nuk i përgjigjem refuzimit tim, kështu që vështrova Mbrapa, duke parë Edhe Znj Monroe duke mbajtur lotë, pse, nuk e di. Duke e dridhur kokën e saj, ajo e shtyn veten jashtë dyshemesë, dhe arrin një dorë për mua, të cilën unë ngadalë e marr. Tani duke qëndruar unë e pastroj veten me dorën time të mirë, duke mbajtur lirshëm çantën time të shpinës ndërsa pres pyetjet e saj.

E vetmja gjë që ajo bën është, që duket të tundë kokën për vete, para se të lëviz që unë ta ndjek atë. Ajo më çon në shkollë, kurrë nuk më flet dhe nuk më shikon, duke vështruar me ngulm, pothuajse bosh. Ajo më çon në dhomën e mjekësisë dhe më thotë të pres te dera ndërsa ajo largohet për të biseduar me një infermiere. Pyes veten se çfarë po thotë ajo, a dyshon ajo se njerku im i ka shkaktuar këto plagë? Apo mendon se një student tjetër ma bëri këtë? A duhet të vrapoj deri sa ende e kam shansin? Mendimet e mia befasohen teksa Edhe Znj. Monro dhe infermierja vijnë tek unë, nervozizmi im që shkelmon në një person tjetër që është i pranishëm.

U përpoqa të mos i kushtoja vëmendje ndezjes së dhimbjes ndërsa infermierja më mbështolli kyçin e dorës në një qese akulli, i ftohti i ftohtë që më bën të dridhem ndërsa moti jashtë ishte tashmë i ftohtë. Pas disa minutave të ngrirjes së dorës ajo sjell një fasho të ngjeshur, snuggly mbështjell kyçin tim dhe dorën, dhimbja është pakësuar, por mban një dhimbje të qëndrueshme që rrethon gjithë krahun tim. Kur mbaron më jep udhëzime për ditë, dhe një shënim për klasën që ishte dora ime e shkrimit.

Duke u futur tek dera, e pashë Znj. Monro duke pritur atje, buzëqeshja e saj miqësore u zëvendësua nga një pamje serioze dhe e ashpër, që i bën hapat e mia pak më ngurruese. Do të largohemi nga dhoma e mjekësisë dhe do të dalim në korridorin e qetë dhe të shkretë, fytyra e saj është ende serioze sa të ndalemi të dy.

"Si E gjete Atë Harkëtar plagosur?""Nuk ishte një çështje, por diçka që kërkoi një përgjigje, një të cilën isha jashtëzakonisht hezitues ta jepja. Duke e tundur fytyrën time larg saj unë tund kokën' jo ' përsëri, nuk dua t'i them të vërtetën, gjëmim mendor se do të shkaktojë më shumë dhimbje se të mirë, edhe nëse ajo do të më besonte mua askush tjetër nuk do ta bënte.

"Arçer, nëse nuk më thua, atëherë do më duhet t'i them zyrës të telefonojë babanë tënd."Pohon ajo, zëri i saj që humbet disa nga ashpërsia e saj ndërsa përpiqet të më bëjë të përgjigjem.

Duke dëgjuar thirrjen E saj Alek babai im i bën të gjitha këto ndjenja të shpërthejnë, zemërimi im po rrjedh lirisht, dhe unë nuk mund të ndihmoj por të reagoj kaotikisht, "AI NUK është BABAI im!"Bërtitja ime i bën jehonë korridorit, heshtja e lënë pas saj është e parehatshme, e gjithë ai besim i shtyrë nga inati lë shpejt trupin tim ndërsa nxjerr. Ajo nuk është budalla, ajo do të kuptoj se çfarë po ndodh, unë do të marrë larg nga shtëpia ime, vendi i fundit që më kujton mamanë dhe motrën time.

Qëndrimi i saj duket se u forcua pasi e dëgjoi përgjigjen time, unë vetëm mund të shpresoj se ajo nuk do të jetë e zemëruar me shpërthimin tim.

"Do të të pyes edhe një herë. Kush e bëri këtë."Zëri i saj ishte shumë i qetë, dënimi i dytë u shkëput ashpër dhe nuk la vend për justifikime. Më në fund përballem me të, edhe pse koka ime është ende e ulur, sytë i dridhen asaj aq shpesh sa mendoj se çfarë do të them.

"....Alek."Zëri im praktikisht pëshpërit, edhe pse e di që e dëgjoi dhe e di se dikush tjetër e di këtë sekret më bën të ndjehem... vulnerabël.

Johnny Depp: Bodyguard Bestfriend

Imagine being a long time bodyguard for the Depp family, and having to be a witness during the trial:

*Includes blood, violence and domestic violence, based off of real events but not completely accurate*

Well, this is not where I expected to be. The year is 2022, and I'm currently sitting in court, waiting to be called to the stand.

_______

I can still remember the day I got fresh out of the army, I had a music major under my belt as well as 5 years active duty as a Calvary Scout.

I was so lost, I had no idea what I was doing, so I just started applying for security jobs - figuring my military time would come in handy, it did.

I got hired by a company that ran a security-for-hire gig, renting us out to anyone that needed us. I got a lot of shit at first due to my height, being only 5'6 isn't exactly scary, not to mention that women also aren't very intimidating usually. I did prove my worth in the end, I had a lot of training when it came to hand-to-hand combat, and I was also very adept at creating plans and schedules.

That's actually how I met Mr.Depp, or Johnny as he prefers... He had hired us for a gig out in LA; he had his family with him at one of the red carpet events, and wanted complete security for his wife and children. We hadn't talked at all, I was the head of my crew, making sure everyone was in position and ready in case some fan - or fanatic as I prefer - came jumping at them.

There were two people that had me on edge though, Johnny has two young children, and children tend to be unpredictable. This only became apparent after the night had already begun, Jack stayed close to his parents, but Lily seemed intrigued by me. Maybe it was because I was the only female security guard there, I really don't know.

It wasn't really annoying or anything, all that happened was she walked with me, wanting to hold my hand as we walked past the screaming fans. She got kind of scared of them, clinging onto my hand and sleeve, I knelt down and offered her my sunglasses, which she skeptically put on.

"Now those flashes won't hurt your eyes." I state with a smile that she immediately returns, flinging her arms around me in a hug. The screaming increases in intensity at this, making her friendly hug turn into a slightly scared embrace. I sigh quietly as I look to see the family quite a ways away, 'no way she'll do that alone' I think to myself.

I release another exasperated sigh before wrapping my arms around her delicately, picking her up.

"Don't drop my glasses kid." I say sarcastically, hearing her lightly giggle as I start walking back to Mr.Depp and his family.

Entering the awards was a breeze, there were fences, security guards were everywhere, everyone stuck together; it's the leaving that causes issues. Mr.Depp has a habit of wanting to leave early, meaning that it's just us against an ocean of people.

I already assumed he would want to leave early, so I had my crew create a tunnel through the crowd for the family that led them straight to the car. Everything had gone just as planned, although one issue did arise, Lily-Rose had disappeared. They were in the limo and Johnny was thunderous, exclaiming that they couldn't find Lily as he hurriedly attempted to exit the car.

My men looked to me, I took over, ordering some to stay with the car and for the rest to get searching. I looked over at Mr.Depp, who had one foot out of the car, with a sigh I walked over and gently shoved him back inside the car. He was obviously unhappy, even more so since I stopped him from exiting the vehicle.

"What are you doing! I have to find my daughter!" He yelled as he tried again, but I blocked his attempt.

"Mr.Depp, I have my men out looking for her, we won't leave without her." I reply calmly.

"That's not good enough!" He huffed angrily, glaring at me.

I was getting nowhere with him being polite, time to switch tactics.

"Take a look around sir! If you get out now, not only will your daughter be missing, but you will be too!" I exclaimed, glaring back at him as I waved my hand towards the frenzied crowd. He took a few seconds just looking around, I noticed his anger slowly slip off of his face, instead replaced by worry and fear.

"Sir please, if I know you'll stay in the car with your family, I can send more people to search for her." I explain, resting a reassuring hand on his stiff shoulder. He looks down to me, his face holding a calmer tone as he nods in understanding, sitting back in the car with a defeated sigh.

"Just find my daughter please." I nod my head, stationing 4 men on the car before sending the rest to search for Lily. I start searching as well, although I walk along the outskirts of the crowd to observe them.

The place is full of hustle and bustle, some of the fans seem to be looking for her as well, my crew are sweating bullets in fear of the repercussions for losing one of their clients. I simply shake my head, now is not the time to think of the repercussions, I need to keep my head in the game.

Turning around to glance back at the car, I notice something in the distance and take off running, two large figures are dragging away what looks to be a resistant juvenile. I call over my shoulder for some help, continuing my sprint when I hear some of my guys following me. When we get closer we can hear muffled cries and screams, it triggers an aggressiveness in myself that I'm surprised by.

We tackle the guys, quickly subduing them. I hand mine off to the other guy, worried I might do something rash. I quickly pull Lily away, not wanting her anywhere near those guys.

"Lily, what happened?" Her voice is uneven as she stutters out an answer. Explaining how she went looking for me before she was grabbed by them. I have to hold in my tears, she was looking for me? This is my fault, I should've kept a closer eye on her, especially after what happened earlier today!

I hug her tightly, making sure that knows she is safe now, that her daddy and mommy are waiting in the car. I kiss the top of her head, feeling her curl up against me in a comforting embrace. I heave a sigh before calling over two other guards, asking them to escort Lily back to the car.

She is reluctant, refusing to let go of me at first, but I made a promise to check in with her when I reach their hotel. That did the trick because she slowly released her hold.

I sternly instruct the guards to keep a firm hold of both her hands as they walk her to the car, not wanting her to slip away to look for me again.

I tiredly turn around to the two men on the ground, rolling my eyes as I call the police to have them taken in. This was an attempted kidnapping after all, can't let them roam the streets.

The cops arrive a few minutes after the limos leave, the situation takes about an hour overall, meaning the time is now around 11pm. I send the two remaining guards home before I begin driving over to the hotel. My stomach feels sick, I'm unsure of what will happen when I arrive.

Walking into the lobby, I'm immediately met by some of my men. They explain that Mr.Depp has demanded to see me as soon as I arrived, now I feel sick as a dog. The elevator ride was eerie, I've never felt so nervous, but then again, my client's daughter has never been kidnapped before either.

I still try to hurry, not allowing my worry to slow my actions. Although, my timid knocks may have given away your uneasiness.

A few seconds pass as the door unlocks and swings open, being met with the neutral look of Mr.Depp

"Mr. Depp I—" I got interrupted by a light tackle to your legs. Looking down, I notice it's Lily latched onto me, a contagious smile spreading across my face. My nervousness completely disappears as I kneel down to her level

"Shouldn't you be asleep right now?" I ask lightly as she pulls back from the hug. As she's about to respond, Johnny interrupts, saying it's past her bedtime, and that he had some business to discuss.

He had the whole penthouse floor to himself, so he simply walked to the outside patio on the opposite side for us to talk. I started getting nervous, he probably brought me over here so his family won't hear him yelling at me. He takes a breath, and I brace myself

"Thank you... for today." His voice is quiet but firm as he speaks.

To say I'm shocked is an understatement, his daughter nearly gets kidnapped, and he's thanking me? He turns around, being met with my astonished expression

"But sir, your daughter was kidnapped because I-" I attempt to say, but he halts my sentence.

"STOP... Stop it, I know you're blaming yourself." His tone is stern, almost fatherly, he is old enough to be my father.

"But sir, it was my negligence that led to thi-" I attempted to continue, but was cut off once again as he grabbed both my shoulders, forcing me to face him. His face is calm and serious as he speaks to me.

"No, no it wasn't, Lily told me what happened." He explained.

I stayed silent, wondering what she said, we looked at each other for a few solemn seconds before he let out a silent huff. His hand slips from my shoulders as he turns around and rests them on the railing, gazing at the city lights.

"She told me how she purposely went off looking for you even though she knew she wasn't allowed to do that." He continued.

"I'm also sorry... about yelling at you earlier, I was scared for my daughter, but that's not an excuse for my actions." He apologized, shoulders slumping as he spoke.

"It's alright-" I try to reply, I'm starting to understand where Lily gets her interrupting habit from.

"No it's not, stop trying to let me off the hook just like that, let me finish my piece." He stated in that stern fatherly tone again as he turned to face me. I sheepishly avoid eye contact, nodding my head for him to continue. A few seconds pass before he speaks again.

"Come to breakfast with my family tomorrow, we all would like to thank you, not to mention, I may have some business to discuss with you." With that he turns and walks off, leaving me standing there dumbfounded.

__

The next day we had a friendly breakfast, it made me think of when I was still close with my family.

Lily clung to my side the whole time, asking about my job, if it was fun, what I used to do, where I'm from. So many questions were asked within the span of 1 hour. Johnny had me stay behind, walking us over to a nearby cafe to discuss "business," whatever that means

"I want to hire you." He abruptly stated, stopping me from sipping my drink.

"You already hired me?" I reply with a confused tone, scrunching my eyebrows slightly.

"No, I mean, I want you to be part of the permanent security team. That means you'll travel with me and will always be near." It took me a few moments to realize the sincerity in his tone, he was being serious. He wanted to hire me after what happened yesterday?!

"What? why?" I exclaimed in confusion and shock, stuttering when I realized how rude that must've sounded.

My stuttering is cut off by his laughter, obviously finding my reaction amusing. He calms down quickly, but an endearing smile remains on his face

"I like you, you're surprisingly easy to talk to even though you are so quiet. My family seems to enjoy your company even though we've only known you for a day, my daughter has also taken to you surprisingly well."

"Okay, but don't you want my CV and everything?" I respond, still a little confused. He rubs the back of his neck, his grin turning into a sheepish smile

"I may have called your boss last night and requested your folder..." he trails off, looking at his drink.

"What... Are they even allowed to give you that?" I responded.

"Sorry about that, and no, I don't think they were allowed to do that." He replies, glancing back at me. I'm still shocked, my mouth hanging open slightly

"I know that's a bit intruding and inappropriate of me, but we're leaving soon and I-" He rambles, but now it's my turn to interrupt him.

"I accept." He's about to continue his explanation before an astonished look washed over him

"You do?" He asks, tone showing how surprised he is, perhaps he thought I would turn his offer down.

"Yes, now if you don't mind, I'd like to drink my coffee now."

For the rest of the day he had a big as smile on his face, which only grew as he told his family the news.

_______

From that day on, I lived and traveled with them, scheduling the details and shifts, making sure everything was ready for his arrival, I even sometimes functioned as a tutor.

At first he had me as just a guard for the entire family, but as the kids got older he assigned me specifically as Lily's bodyguard. I didn't mind this, it just meant that we could go out shopping together more often. As she grew, we developed a very close bond. When she was younger she acted like I was a second mother, but when she became a teen I became her big sister.

Over the years, Mr. Depp became Johnny whenever it was just us or the family. He always scolded me for calling him Mr.Depp, saying it made him sound old. He really became a father figure for me, especially after he finally learned why I never mention or talk to my family. Mrs.Paradis, or Vanessa as she preferred, became friends with me, though we weren't as close as Lily and I. Jack also became closer with me, though I could tell he felt a little awkward around me, I think he has a slight crush, though I can't be certain.

They became my family, I loved them so much, I hoped it would never end. Of course, all good things eventually die.

I was on set with Johnny for the Rum Diaries, it wasn't unusual for him to bring me along, it felt more like bringing his daughter with him instead of a bodyguard.

It was all fun, the movie was going great, he seemed to be having fun. But something was different after he returned home, he seemed off, like something was eating away at him. I tried getting him to talk, he just brushed it off, saying it was nothing; but I could tell by his smile that he was trying to reassure himself as well.

That was the beginning of the end for my happy family, the separation was not something anyone was happy about. I knew it stung when Vanessa learned how much younger Amber Heard was, she confided in me that this was something she always feared deep down. His kids were okay, they weren't ecstatic, but they weren't angry either; I could tell they just wanted their father to be happy.

Amber was... something else. Johnny seemed happy, it was like a year long honeymoon phase, although she wasn't exactly the nicest person if you ask me. Jack and Lily quickly began to dislike her, as did I, we would actively avoid her at all costs.

I especially tried to avoid her, she would always glare at me if I was anywhere near Johnny, demanding that I call him Mr.Depp even when we were just at home. She set me on edge, and the wedding only made it worse.

Lily was vehemently against attending the wedding, meaning I wouldn't be going either since she wanted to go out instead. I pulled Johnny aside and explained the situation. He was unhappy, but accepted his daughter's decision.

Before we left for our trip I pulled Johnny aside, taking both his hands warmly in mine as I said my congratulations and wished him well.

I spot Amber in the distance, beginning to walk towards us, so I hurry myself. I un-clip the chain around my neck, taking Johnny's hand, allowing it to coil in his palm before closing it. I look at him, smiling at the shock on his face, clearly surprised by my actions.

"B-but, that's your fathers ring!" He stutters, conflicted by what I've done.

"And now it's yours." I reply

"Y/N, I can't take this!" He exclaims, trying to give it back, but I shove his hand into his chest.

"Johnny, you've been more of a father than he ever was... I want you to have it." I responded quietly, feeling embarrassed by what I said.

He smiles as he pulls me in for a warm hug, immediately making me feel at ease. As we part, he kisses my check gently before separating completely. He removes the ring from the necklace, sliding it onto his middle finger before re-clipping the chain around my neck.

I thank him, and he's about to speak when Amber steps into our conversation. I can tell by the hostile glare in her eyes that she isn't very happy with me, but Johnny doesn't seem to notice. She drags him away before he could speak, but I simply smile and wave as he sheepishly does the same.

I pivot on my heel and head off to find Lily.

_______

If I thought she was bad before the wedding, I had no idea what was coming after the honeymoon.

Something was off with Johnny, he was a lot quieter, and that's saying something since he is already a reserved person. They also seemed to argue, I already knew about their arguments from before, but now they seemed to be happening in the open a lot more. Lily hated Amber, refusing to interact with her, always dragging me away to her room whenever Amber was near.

I don't object, Amber had taken to yelling at me too, so I enjoyed the moments Lily and I would scramble away and avoid talking to her. We survived like that for a few weeks, but then Johnny called us into the living room. Lily and I glanced at each other in confusion, wondering if either of us did something wrong.

"Y/N, Lily, I've called you here because there is going to be a slight change in Y/N's job." Lily and I both relaxed, assuming that it was going to be small and insignificant.

"From now on Y/N, you will be Amber's personal bodyguard." My eyes widened, I glanced over at Lily to see what I'm sure is the same reaction as me. Lily opens her mouth to argue, but Johnny holds up his hand to silence her.

"My decision is final." I looked away from Johnny to see Lily's eyes watering subtly. She looked between them both before running off back to her room; I went to run after her, but a firm grasp yanked me back.

Looking back to them, I noticed it was Amber who had pulled me back, a stern scowl on her face.

"Where do you think you're going?" She asks, her voice is definitely going to get on my nerves.

"To talk to Lily?" I state in confusion, wondering why she stopped me.

"She'll be fine, but I need you, I'm heading out with my sister to go shopping. Be ready in 10." She left no room for me to talk, simply turning and walking off. To say I was stunned is an understatement, so much is happening, it's hard to wrap my head around it.

I must've looked as lost as I felt because Johnny reached over and placed his hand delicately on my shoulder. I nervously look at him, being brought back to Earth by the warm, gentle look in his eyes.

"Are you alright, doll?" I smile slightly at the pet name, he's been calling me that since about a year after hiring me(I told him about how the guys in my unit jokingly called me"Doll").

"Yah, I'm just... Shocked. It never ran through my head that you might assign me to someone else, I guess it was unexpected for Lily too." I reply, looking down in thought.

"I never did plan on assigning you to someone else." Johnny stated, his voice holding a hint of annoyance, but it was well hidden.

"What do you mean?" I asked, now completely confused.

"Humph, I didn't want to reassign you, but Amber practically demanded that you be assigned as her personal bodyguard." He responds, looking away as he explains, it sounds like he wants to complain, but he is holding back.

I open my mouth to respond, but my voice is taken away as I gasp in surprise. Johnny looks at me, startled by my unexpected reaction. Now that he's looking at me, my eyes widen in worry.

"What? What is it?" He asks quickly, wanting to know what's made me like this.

I slowly reach my hand out towards his face, he lets me, it's not uncommon for me to poke him or fix his hair, but this is different. My hand gently caresses the skin under his left eye, how did I not notice the swelling?

When he realizes what I'm doing, he almost reels back within the blink of an eye, turning around so I'm facing his back.

"Johnny. What's going on?" It was meant to be a question, but it came out as a demand. His body deflates slightly, realizing I'm not letting him off the hook. He turns to speak, but is interrupted by Amber bustling down the stairs, speaking loudly on the phone.

"Y/N, hurry up and pull the car around already, we have to pick up my sister and you're making us late." Amber states in a grating tone.

"Alright alright, but give me a second, wanna take a selfie with Johnn-err Mr.Depp." I state, quickly correcting myself after noticing the look in Amber's eyes.

"Why do you want a picture with him, you see him everyday." She stated flatly.

"My family demands proof that I work for him." I reply effortlessly, she luckily has no idea that my family and I have had no communication for over 10 years. Johnny, however, immediately noticed my lie, thankfully only side-eying me.

I take out my phone, standing next to him, taking a few, telling Johnny to angle his head more to the right in a few. I smile after our 10 second photo-shoot, hugging him quickly before speed-walking out the door to grab the car.

He's probably flabbergasted right now, wondering why I lied about my family, and why I wanted to take some pictures with him. To be honest, I don't think that swelling got there due to something innocent, so I took a shit ton of pictures with him so that I can look at them.

I drive the car around to the front and wait for Amber. In my spare time, I open my phone and look at some of the photos. Not gonna lie, he's always prepared for a picture, even when he's caught completely off guard.

Analyzing the pictures, I note the swelling under his eye, as well as his cheek and a little bit on his nose. It's subtle, I'm surprised I caught it. He's also got a very light bruise that looks like it's in the last stage of healing. I go to look closer, but quickly shut my phone off as Amber enters the back of the car.

_______

That wasn't the only time I had an impromptu photo-shoot with Johnny, there were quite a few to come, all of them capturing worse injuries than before. Halfway into their marriage I knew for sure what was happening, before that I had only heard the fights and been left to assume, but getting caught in their fight was wild.

Amber had been up in his face, pushing him, saying vulgar and cruel things as he tried to leave. The other security were looking at me, wondering what they should do. This wasn't the first time we removed Johnny for his safety, so I quickly sent a text for someone to pack him a bag, motioning one of the guards to grab the car and bring it around.

I was Amber's guard, I'm supposed to protect her, but I know deep down that my default is to always protect my true family, and that certainly isn't her. So when I walk over and see her pull her arm back to slap him, I don't hesitate to stop her.

I grab her arm, shoving her back so that I'm between them. I don't want to fight her, that would definitely get me fired, the only thing I can do right now is protect Johnny, and possibly myself. The anger in her expression magnifies as she looks back to me, Walking up and getting in my space, clearly wanting a reaction. I stand firm, not allowing her to get to Johnny, but not wanting to hurt her either.

"Get out of here Johnny." I say, not removing my eyes from the threat.

"And leave you here? No way." He states firmly.

"I'll be fine alright, I'll catch up with you okay? G/N(guards name)! Take Mr. Depp to the car and get him out of here!" I shout to the guard across the room. I can see him coming closer in my peripheral, leading Johnny away, though I can tell Johnny felt extremely conflicted.

All the while, I'm blocking Amber as they escape, not letting my guard down until I hear the elevators beep from down the hall. When she realizes they are gone, it's like she somehow got even angrier. She looks down the hallways, then fixes her glare on me. Before I have time to react, I find myself across the floor, my mind dazed, a stinging on the left side of my face.

I shake myself as I stand, taking a few seconds to realize I just got punched in the face. I touched my lip, it got caught on my tooth and is bleeding something terrible. I wiped the blood off with my sleeve, but know it's useless right now.

"Oh, don't tell me you've never bled before? What with your military time?" Her voice is so patronizing as she leers, she taunts me anytime she can and it's reaching a boiling point.

"ENOUGH!" I yell, but she simply smirks, enjoying my reaction.

"Too scared to fight me? Afraid you'll lose?" She continues her taunting, looking down at me with her annoying height.

"More like I'm afraid I'll kill you." I state grimly, my instincts telling me she's going to strike out and that I should attack her first, but I know if I hurt her, it'll get turned on me. I wait a second, taking in a deep breath before shaking my head and turning around.

"Stop running! You people can't keep RUNNING!" She screams as she shoves me back around, screaming in my face.

"You make us run! You're so fucking awful that the only thing we can do is leave!" I shout back, shoving her off of me.

"If you walk out that door, consider yourself fired." She states arrogantly as I walk to the front door. My hand hovers for a second as I think everything over.

"I consider that a blessing, but you're not my boss." I growl before turning the handle and walking down the hall, taking the stairs instead of the elevator. I call G/N, asking them to send me the address as I start up my car.

Johnny was not happy when I got there, in fact, he looked ready to tear into me, but immediately stopped when he saw my face. About halfway through the drive I started crying, wondering how long she's been hurting him, how long she's been treating him like shit. He only takes a second to study me before rushing forward, pulling me into a comforting embrace as I cried into his shoulder

It's kind of funny looking back now, he was so focused on comforting me even though he was the one experiencing that mistreatment for years. He was always a gentle and caring man, but that moment made me realize just how selfless he is.

From that moment on, he allowed me to photograph his injuries without making me act as if I simply wanted selfies with him. He only agreed to it as long as I wouldn't let myself get hit for him, he hated seeing me get injured, and he didn't want his spouse to be the cause of it. I was scared when I agreed, scared that I could do nothing, but I quickly realized that getting him out of there would keep us both safe.

I kept all the photos on my computer, making sure to have duplicates, as well as keeping a hidden copy of prints. Johnny would also send me photos from when I got hurt, he wanted me to save them as well. She's only hurt me a few times, mainly when I try to get between her and Johnny, I usually would've broken her arm already, but I could never do anything to hurt Johnny.

_______

I was brought forward as one of Johnny's witnesses, I didn't want to go up there, to explain what I had to witness and allowed to happen. I felt disgusted with myself that I let Johnny get treated that way for so long, but I know that he had to leave her by his own decision.

In all the recordings brought forward, I was usually in them, you could hear me in the background, or I might've been right in the middle of it. I knew that the defense was going to lay into me, try and tear me a new one, but I hope that I can take the publicity and stress of it all.

I somehow managed to stay basically anonymous throughout all my years of watching over the Depp's, only pictures and videos of my covered face being seen, but now I'd be in front of the world. My name out in the open, my face on every news channel, my family will know where I am - that's possibly the scariest thing about this.

I've been holding my breath during every video, every picture, and every statement. It's always hard when I hear something that includes me, I always feel like I was an enabler in his abuse because I didn't do more; but I know Johnny would get angry with himself if I told him. When he explains moments in a recording where I got between them, or where I would force him to leave, I always found myself tearing up.

I hear my name being called, I look around, seeing the nod of encouragement from his legal team. They've been so supportive and careful with me, they know about my military time yet still treat me like a delicate flower, it's nice. They've become friends to Johnny and me, I'm glad he found them.

I smile back as I step forward, feeling Johnny gently drape his hand against my arm as I walk by, a soft reassurance that he's there with me.

I swear in, keeping my voice steady as I look at the judge, allowing my eyes to glance around the room for a quick read, avoiding looking in Miss Heard's direction. Johnny and I promised that we wouldn't allow her even a second of our attention, we wouldn't look at her, we wouldn't talk to her, and outside this courtroom we wouldn't speak of her.

I seat myself carefully, eyeing the screen in front of me, glancing to the jury, Johnny's attorney, then finally landing on Johnny. I told him all of my worries, he knew of my fear of the limelight, as well as my worry that my family will recognize me and try to contact me.

Throughout all of this, he's somehow stayed strong, even though he suffered far more than I, he refused to let me feel alone, so I refuse to not play my part in this case; if anyone deserves something good in their life, it's Johnny Depp.

Scar: What Did I Do?

Imagine being Scar's daughter, and Mufasa hates you:

— Lil warning: Mufasa is an ass, violence —

I was born several months before my cousin Simba, a small cub that most thought wouldn't survive; I never got to know my mother as she died during my birth. I apparently look just like her, my fur is a light grey, almost like the foggy mist that gathers in the morning before sunrise, and my eyes are a warm amber.

I am currently 5 months old, the lionesses and lions still towering over me. Luckily I have other abilities, such as how good of a hunter I've become, and the fact that I am one of the fastest runners pride.

———————

"DAD! DAD!" My roared pleadings seemed to fall on deaf ears. 

I' m currently being chased out of Pride Rock by my uncle, Mufasa. I can practically feel his anger, large paws pounding against the ground as growls continuously emit throughout the air.

(I'm not sure why, but he's hated me for as long as I can remember. He never lets me play with the other cubs, and he makes sure the lionesses ignore me. I'm not sure why he's so cruel to me, I don't think I've ever done anything to offend him.)

My body tiring quickly, I've been running for a while — and though I may be fast, I really need to work on my stamina.

I'm about to call for my father again when a sharp pain is felt in my right hind leg, I yelp loudly, tripping over my feet and tumbling to the ground. I curl into myself, afraid of what will happen to me. I suddenly hear a growl thundering around me, but this growl doesn't sound like my uncle.

I sense movement, two lions are fighting, snarls and swipes being exchanged. I slowly uncover my face, eyes cautiously opening. I immediately see Mufasa, his large stature stiff and puffed out, he still looks furious; the other lion being none other than my father. My father is smaller in size, but he is quick, dodging most of the attacks while landing a few of his own. Eventually they are circling each other, heads low and claws bared.

"Stand down brother." Mufasa slowly orders, but my father refuses to comply.

"Why, so that you can kill my daughter?" Father sneers, his eyes narrowing.

"What did she do this time? Run too fast? Ask another annoying question? Or did her presence simply offend you?" Each question was growled in a harsh, agitated tone, each word emphasized by a swipe taken at Mufasa. My father was extremely pissed, but who could blame him? This is probably the fourth time Mufasa has gotten angry with me, but it is the first that he has attacked me; every other time he just made me really scared or embarrassed.

After the barrage of attacks, both lions backed away slightly, heavy breathing and growls being the only thing heard as venomous glares were traded. Mufasa holds his head up, looking like he wants to retaliate, but decides to release a loud huff instead, turning to walk back to Pride Rock.

"Get control of your daughter or I will." He snarls slowly as he passes Scar, glaring at me when he stalks by. My form seems to only wilt further, fear of punishment from father now making me regret calling for him.

Scar turns away from Mufasa, diverting all attention to my wounded form. He walks over to me, making his way closer to check on my injuries, but quickly stops when he notices me flinch away from him. His brows furrowed in confusion for a moment until understanding occurred.

"Y/N, you have nothing to fear, I promise I will never hurt you, okay?" His normally cynical voice is nearly unrecognizable, tone gentle and nurturing as he gazes down at his wounded daughter. I glance at him in uncertainty for a moment before stumbling up from the ground and running over to him.

He carefully comforts me, his paw lightly resting on my back as I begin to cry against him. As he comforts me, he quickly assessed my leg, it looks like a superficial wound, his claws seemed to have slipped right off of it.

"I-I don't-t even know w-what I did-d wrong." I whimpered quietly, my cries having simmered down to just tears blurring my vision

Rockstar: Your Story(Interview)

You're a famous rock star being interviewed about the beginning of your career to the current (includes mentions of Mick Ronson, David Bowie, and Mick Jagger):

"Ma'am, can you tell us a little bit about when you first met David Bowie?" The question was so sudden that I could only scrunch my eyebrows at it. I expected David to be brought up sometime, but I didn't expect the first question to be about him.

"Sure, let's see.... I can't remember the exact date, but my dear friend - Mick Ronson - had called me up saying some band was interested in having us as guitar players. I was hesitant because I enjoyed my job as an architect, but something pushed me to go with him; we hopped on the next train to London and did the audition." I explain, tilting my head up at the memories resurfacing. Ronno had been unsure as well, but I'm glad we went.

"We heard it wasn't a pleasant experience? What happened?" They emphasize 'wasn't', clearly looking for some juicy gossip on Bowie, and who am I to disappoint.

"Well, David had accepted Mick but rejected me, and Ronno originally turned down the offer because of that. He didn't even tell me the truth, just grabbed me by the arm and lugged me as well as the guitars out of the building. I knew it hadn't gone well because he had this angry glare in his eyes, which is strange, because if you've ever met him, then you'd know he's rather sweet, and has a very discerning disposition.

I asked what was wrong and he just said that they didn't want us. I knew he was lying, but I didn't want to argue with him. We spent the rest of the time wandering around London sightseeing." I state, folding my hands up in my lap as I look at the interviewer. I don't like looking back to the '70s, a lot of stuff happened, and I fear what they will bring up.

"What happened after that?" The interviewer continues hastily digging, wanting more information. I guess this person isn't going to quit until they get the full story.

"We had stopped by a restaurant and were having lunch. Ronno was saying we should catch the train home after, but we were interrupted by David. I don't know how he found us, I just remember being shocked when he started begging Ronno to join his band. I was also a little confused, and I remember saying, 'I thought you didn't want us?'

To which David responded, 'No, I want him, I just don't want you.' That line had run through my head the following 3 years until I realized how lucky I was David didn't want me." I say the last few sentences in a softer voice, not liking to relive that particular memory.

"He said what?!" The interviewer over exaggerates their movements, getting the audience laughing just as they had hoped. I laugh a little too, David saying something so rude does seem rather uncharacteristic.

"Yah, I was rather astonished as well because the words left him in such a casual way, as if choosing what bread to buy at the market." I say, gently chuckling at the visual of David buying bread in such a critical way.

"What- How, how did Mick react to that." Their eyes widen, the crowd quiets down as they await my answer.

"Oh, he almost punched David! But I grabbed him and pulled him aside, asking why he lied and all that stuff." I respond, remembering the beautiful anger that he so desperately wanted to act on.

"I bet the last thing you wanted was for him to join David's band, right?" The interviewer asks the question humorously.

"That's... Wrong actually. He was vehemently against playing in a band without me, this is mainly due to the fact that ever since we were 12, we've always played together. But, I wanted him to take the opportunity, to show the world his ability, and to be able to be a confident player without me." I explain in a gentle voice, vaguely thinking of how self-conscious he was at the time when it came to him playing guitar.

"You seem to be a really supportive friend, (Y/N)." The tone of their voice turns genuine, the whole conversation losing the humorous quality that had been sustained.

"I try to be, the last thing I want is for people's failings or regrets to be because of me." I smile, my relieved guilt ebbing away as I think of where he and I are now.

"As well as being supportive, you also seem to be fairly protective, at least, that's what I got when Mick told us the story of you traumatizing his high school bully! With that in mind, how did you feel when you learned he was earning next to nothing during the tour?" The beginning of the sentence sent the interviewer and audience into a bit of a laugh, I laugh as well at the memory of scaring off Ronno's bully.

The laughter lightly quiets down to a more serious tone at the end discussion.

"I was appalled! I hated myself for a while because of that, because I pushed him into this situation where he was barely getting paid. Which was the opposite of what I thought would happen, especially after their popularity went through the roof!"I exclaimed, my eyes widening as I relived the shock; the ebbing guilt rushing forward tenfold.

"I heard you went to some extreme measures in order to help him out, what exactly did you do?" The interviewer goes on, the questions digging into lesser known information.

"Well, I joined any band I could, I would try and get hired by restaurants for live music during nights, and then during the day I had a job as a waitress as well as working part time as a lyricist." I explain, just saying that makes me remember how tiring my schedule was back then.

"Now that's a lot to juggle, and I'm sure you have some great stories from those days, but we have a specific story. What happened during one of your many tiring nights of live music?" They ask, this question is sort of a bore to me, one I'm frequently asked to retell.

"I had been band hopping at the time, and was hired for a gig when I didn't have a supportive group, so I improvised. I played my guitar and was singing live, but before that I had recorded the drums and rhythm guitar parts for the songs I was scheduled to play, so when I got up there I just started the recording and played along.

This was for a club where they wanted rock, so it was heavier playing. It was during my guitar solo I noticed someone in the crowd." I divulged, deciding to add in some information I had never shared before.

"Ooh, is this when you met the Rolling Stones?!" Someone screams out, the crowd and interviewer looking in shock before they all burst out laughing at the person's eagerness.

"Yes... but I technically only met Mick Jagger that night. I wasn't a big fan of the Rolling Stones at the time, but I did have an appreciation for their music. I was actually playing one of their songs at the time. Either way, it just surprised me to see him." I continued after we had all calmed down.

"I know you joined their band after that, but can you tell us what exactly went down?" I squint slightly at my interviewer's vernacular before deciding to just answer them.

"I don't think I can tell you all the details, I worry J might get embarrassed! But, I can tell you that he met me backstage after I was done and asked me if I was available tomorrow to meet him at a recording studio. It was the weekend the next day, so I said yes, he wrote down the address and time on a piece of paper, handed it to me, then said goodbye and walked away." I state in a jovial tone, Jagger is one of my favorite people to talk about, because he loves to call immediately after the interview and schedule a meet up. He's strange like that.

"Sounds strange? How did you feel after that?" They looked intrigued, clearly wanting me to divulge the information that I withheld.

"I was shocked. The next day I went and met him and his band mates, then they started playing a song together and asked me to improv. I had never heard the song before, so I just started watching their movements and playing off of that; by the end they asked if I was interested in joining their band, which I clearly said yes to." I exclaim, the interviewer's face looking shocked by what I just said.

"Wow, that all sounds like it went really fast?"

"Oh it was, we had only been playing for 20 minutes when they all stopped and asked me to join. I was going to say no because I needed to make enough money to send to Ronno, but when they mentioned how much I would make weekly I immediately accepted." I reply, chuckling as I remember my astonishment.

"I know after joining the Stones, your career skyrocketed, your solo albums have done well, and you write all your own songs?" They continue, motioning to my newest album sitting on their desk.

"Yes, my solo albums have done surprisingly well, and I write my own songs. I do accept and sing other songs sometimes, but I usually have a story told throughout my albums, and throwing in a random song messes that up." I explained.

"Did you and Mick Ronson keep in contact during this?" They question, looking at me in interest.

"Of course! In the beginning, Ronno and I called every week at the least, and we would send letters sometimes too!" I state ecstatically before calming myself down.

"How did that work? He was touring at the time right?" They ask in a befuddled way.

"Yes he was, but he would tell me the places he would be as well as the dates that he would be there, and I would do the same with him. It was a little complicated, but it was worth it." I reply, my hands waving as I mimic us writing letters.

"Honestly though, what would you send him that couldn't be said over the phone?" They ask after a few moments, laughing as their mind runs.

"Photos, drawings, songs, food-"

"Photos?" I can hear what they're implying, and I can't help but squint my face in disgust. The crowd's laughter magnified at my reaction.

"Stop thinking like that, you all have dirty minds! I would take pictures of me and the band, as well as the places around me. I loved drawing as well, so I would send him some, as well as some songs that I thought he would enjoy playing. Lastly, I knew he was getting food, but I knew it wasn't food he was used to, so I would bake him something, or buy him local snacks and ship them off to the correct address." I explain, describing the different things I would send him.

"Did he ask you to do any of this?"

"No, Ronno was never a complainer, he hated telling people his issues. I was usually the exception, but he prefers telling me in person as compared to over the phone or in a letter. He did enjoy them though, and he would send me songs and pictures as well. I remember him snapping a picture of his drummer scarfing down some cookies I made!" I jubilantly state, smirking as I remember that the picture is still hanging on my fridge.

"You sent him all these lovely things, what did he send you?"

"I never asked for anything more than a letter or a phone call, but he would send me these extravagant songs, asking me how I thought they sounded and if I liked them. He would also send me drawings - he's not really an artist, but he knows I love the little doodles he does randomly, so he started sending them to me." I grin, knowing Ronni will be embarrassed by me sharing this information.

"Was this an easier time in your life or would you consider it one of the more stressful?" Ah, here it comes, the questions I am most dreading.

"The fame and fortune made my financial issues about none, but socially I felt isolated. I had played in popular bands before, but never like this, I was only consistently around my band mates and the people that worked for them. I only really talked with Jagger and Keith, and then Keith randomly started hating me, so I was down to only talking to Jagger." I reply almost subconsciously, my mind wanting to distance itself from these memories.

"What about Ronson? I thought you said you had weekly phone calls and sent letters?" They ask in confusion.

"We did, but about 3 months into that, David started complaining to Ronno that he spent too much time talking to me, and that he was ignoring his band mates for someone he might never see again." The answer in a short tone, clearly still holding resentment for David's decision.

"David said that?" They say in shock.

"Yah, he said it straight to Ronno's face. We obviously didn't stop talking, we kept calling and messaging each other, but it lessened after that to about 1 call every 2 weeks. They became much longer phone calls though, he said that David was limiting his amount of calls, but stated that David couldn't limit his time, so we would end up talking through the entire night!" I smile on glee, our weak form of rebellion still makes my heart warm.

"We've talked about Ronson and his band mates reactions, but how did your bandmates react?" They continue, going down a different avenue.

"Well, everyone basically made fun of me and said we were in love. They told me to stop being so desperate because I was probably annoying Ronno, that remark actually made me start to overthink a lot. I started worrying that I was annoying him, and that he didn't like talking to me anymore. I think that's around the time I began to develop anxiety, I was already depressed, so that just added on to my plate." I responded before realizing I was over sharing on live TV.

"Did you tell Ronson about that? How did he react?" They gratefully kept moving right along, not leaving an awkward silence.

"Well, I never actually told him about that, I think this is the first time he's hearing this." I smile in discomfort, and an uncertain smile on my face.

"Really? You never spoke to him about any of this?" They ask in surprise, slightly taken aback.

"My anxiety had me thinking that saying a single word to him was annoying him, so no, I didn't just start talking about this to him. It was a really dark spot for me, the person to pull me through was Jagger actually. He noticed my extensive isolation, how I stopped eating around others, how I stopped talking. He really pulled through for me, which is probably why I'm still friends with him." I voice solemnly, deciding that I might as well be honest about the situation since there is no going back now.

"I know this is a heavy topic for you, I have some more questions, but if you're uncomfortable we can move on." Wish you had said that earlier, but oh well.

"Ask away, we can just skip the ones I'm uncomfortable with." I smile in response.

"Alright, what did Mick do? Did he just pull you aside and talk to you?"

"No actually, he wrote a song and asked if I would listen to it." I responded.

"What?" Perhaps I should rephrase my vague response.

"That's honestly what he did. But he wrote a song with true meaning, it was rather dark, and it actually made me cry and begin to hyperventilate. We were alone, so he just rushed over and helped calm me down; he didn't ask me any questions until I had completely relaxed." I explained honestly.

"What did he say exactly?" They continue.

"He just apologized, asking if I wanted to talk. I said no at first, but then he asked why I've been distancing myself from him and the band, why all the songs I was writing were either dark or sad.

I told him the truth, that I was depressed, that I felt so intensely alone, and that I could no longer talk to Ronno because I was probably annoying him." An uncomfortable shiver ran up my spine, reliving those memories makes me feel nauseous.

"How did he react to that? I can't really picture him being the best at giving advice and comfort." She smiles in a joking way, attempting to lighten the conversation.

"He was lovely, he hugged me like a giant teddy bear and told me that he would help me through this. We talked for a while, he asked me why I thought I was annoying Ronno, and I told him what the band had said to me." I answer, feeling a small smile appear at the memory of Mick comforting me.

"What did he say to that?"

"He told me that they were a bunch of single idiots who were jealous, and that I shouldn't ruin a meaningful relationship with my best friend by believing the words of immature drug addicts." I respond, barely withholding my laughter as I watch everyone's reaction.

"He said that?!" They nearly yell, everyone laughing at my answer.

"Yes, and the next day he told them all off for belittling me. During our talk he spoke to me about my isolation, I explained that I did that when I was sad or feeling out of place, and he asked what he could do to make me feel like a part of the team. He honestly made me cry a couple of times from how caring he was. Then he started talking about heavier subjects, such as why I wasn't eating during lunch breaks, why I never accepted snacks, and why I was noticeably losing weight." I state, realizing that I was now broaching the subject of my eating disorder.

"That must've been tough." They state seriously.

"It was, I realized at that moment, how much I missed Ronno. I asked Jagger if he wanted me to leave the band since I was such a problem, but he told me to stop being an idiot. The next day I was given a few sheepish apologies from my band mates, and Jagger became a very prominent person in my life from that day on." I explained.

"That's good. So Mick Jagger stepping up to help you must've put him pretty high on your list of friends right?"

"Yes, I only realized how much he was doing for me when he barged into my room during a depressive episode and all but shoved the phone into my hand. I distinctly remember him telling me not to come out until tomorrow morning. When I held the phone up, he had actually dialed up Ronno, who sounded very tired and confused, as well as concerned." I smile, these are the memories that I hold onto dearly.

"Really? How did he know what number to call?"

"I assume he went snooping around my desk, in one of my drawers was a paper with dates, addresses, and numbers. It was one of the sweetest things anybody had ever done for me." The look on my face was genuine, that was honestly one of the sweetest things anyone has done for me.

"I know you two are still good friends, but was there ever the possibility of anything more?" Oh boy, I hate it when they try to talk about this subject.

"I did find him to be attractive if that's what you're asking, but I was never in love with him. He did ask me out on a date and I had said yes, the date was lovely, but we got caught in a crowd of fans and he was like how he normally is. It made me remember how many groupies I'd seen leaving his room, and how many women I've seen smothered over him at all times, and it scared me away from ever allowing myself to love him." I reply sincerely.

"Could there have been something? If you hadn't cut it off?" They continue to push the topic.

"There could've been something eventually - from the despondent look on his face when I said I didn't want a relationship, I think he wanted us to become something more. I don't regret what I did, I like the friendship I have with him, the last thing I wanted to do was ruin it with his promiscuity and my need for loyalty. We've moved on though, I kind of see him as the older brother I never had." I reply, explaining my reasoning and the aftermath.

"Well, since that ship has definitely sunk, what about Ronson? Was there ever anything there?" They just won't give up will they?

"No... Well, there was one time in high school when we thought we should try dating, but that was spurred on by our teenage inability to understand that we loved each other, but not in that way. We realized that that wasn't us when we tried to act like a couple and both noticed that it felt forced. Ever since then we've been best friends." I state.

"Gosh, you're shooting down all of the fan favorites. Are you interested in anyone? Anyone at all?" They sound slightly exasperated, maybe I should throw them a bone.

"Hmmm... Maybe." I smile, a mischievous glint surely in my eye.

"What do you mean maybe? You can't leave the fans hanging like that!" I can tell that I have their genuine attention now.

"Well, ever since David and I have become friends, I've been... slightly interested in him." I say, jumping straight into the deep end.

"..." The silence could almost be described as palpable, it almost makes me want to laugh at how everyone is stunned into silence.

"Well, don't just stare at me." I laugh lightly.

"... I'm sorry, just processing. Does David know this?" They ask in hurried confusion.

"Well, if he's watching like he said he would, then he knows now." I laughed once again, but this time it had an air of uncertainty to it.

"Don't tell me you just confessed over live TV, in an interview no less!" They say in shock, looking at me with wide eyes.

"What can I say! If he likes me back then this has worked out great." I respond, grinning at their reaction.

"What if he doesn't!" Their response makes me shiver in discomfort at that possibility, but I respond in humor.

"Then I die of embarrassment, cut all ties, and become a hermit!" I state loudly.

"Oh don't do that Y/N! Only healthy reactions are allowed on this show." The crowd laughs lightly at our convo.

I'm about to respond, but my Motorola starts ringing in my bag. I look to the interviewer before quickly digging through my bag and pulling out the phone. I sheepishly glance at it, the audience having fallen silent at the interruption.

"Is it alright if I answer this? It might be important." I state, I know this sounds bad, but it could actually be important since I left my home and animals under the care of my neighbor.

"Of course, but you owe us one more question before you leave then." They respond, holding out their hand.

"Deal!" I agree, shaking their hand quickly.

"Hello, this is Y/N." I state in a professional tone, getting a funny look from the interviewer at my seriousness.

"Y/N darling!" I am thrown off by the happy and familiar tone.

"...David?!" I state in slight confusion, everyone seeming to lean in closer.

"...Yes?" He responds in the same tone, making fun of the way I responded.

"Why are you calling me? I'm in an interview." I explain, swiftly going back to my professional tone.

"Yes well, when someone confesses they are interested in dating you, I thought the first thing one should do is accept." He responds in a joking yet serious tone.

I'm silent for a few moments in surprise, did David just say he wants to date me too?

"Well, don't leave me without a response darling... Will you go on a date with me." His serious and self assured tone dwindled slightly, I can hear his uncertainty.

"Yes." My response was short, it was rushed and all I could muster with my amount of shock.

"Good, I'll pick you up after the interview, so I'll see you in a few minutes." He stated before hanging up.

I can't contain the overjoyed smile that spreads across my face, most certainly accompanied by a warm blush. The audience snickers as I clumsily put my phone away, then they start laughing as the interviewer stares at me with a smug grin.

"Who was that?" They ask tauntingly.

"Ohhh... no one." I try to brush it off, but I know no one is believing.

"Really! Does this no one happen to be named David Bowie?" They continue.

I avert my eyes in embarrassment, the audience laughing even louder as I sheepishly nod my head.