Captainmackaymouse - A Fistful Of Rubber Snakes - Tumblr Blog

telling your foxgirl gf to speak and she just drops her jaws and screams

Several masked and leather-aproned court alchemists using iron tongs to remove a live and undamaged mouse from the mystical solar kiln

What if your love language is getting negged for engaging in patriarchal bullshit by invoking love languages

I wish the love language thing wasn't patriarchal bullshit because it's such a good format

*goes to the endocrinologist and hands them a picture of izutsumi*

i hope (know) this is how everyone who has ever fumbled me feels

Am I not like a blorbo to you? 🥺 👉👈

so like i need to clarify for like the seven ppl who might notice.

when i tag things skyeposting im not blorbo tagging them, skye is actually my irl friend and that's just my "tag for things that remind me of skye" which is i guess like blorbo tagging but like she's my number one follower and honestly she's literally just the target audience of what i reblog at this point since im the type of neurodivergent that needs feedback and cannot exist without it.

Everyone tell me your opinions on government subsidies right now

i need to get topped by a transfem with just the worst sense of humor. she’ll literally start t-posing while plowing me. during lovemaking she’ll whisper something into my ear and it’s a vine that doesn’t even make it into the compilations.

Subjecting my girlfriend to oxidative stress, repeated freeze thaw cycles, and direct sunlight as part of her soft “irresponsible laboratory practices” kink

you tell your girlfriend you're into degradation and she nods and says she's willing to try that. later that night, she ties you up and gropes you some before stopping pouring a bucket of water on you. she does this repeatedly while you are stunned into silence. you manage to ask her what she's doing and she looks at you confused saying that she's trying to erode you

Zombie dovegirl who's really into vore but no one will eat her

Misbehaving

Polyamory is great because I can be halfway through reading a horny post before realizing it’s literally about one of my close friends fucking my girlfriend and I think that’s lovely /gen

What's the dumbest flirt that would work on you?

If a girl with a thick accent told me I was pretty I'd cum

Call me a Sister of Silence the way I

learning sign language so i can answer my domme without pulling her cock outta my throat <3

This would never happen to me, locked in as I am, mid combo turn. I look down at my perfectly executed Ad-Naus ritual-draw sequence into a Tendrils of Agony for more then twice your life total, smirking at your pathetic attempt at disruption as I cleverly exile a spare Ponder from my hand to Force your feeble countermagic. You cast a second Mindbreak Trap and I get so horny I pass out.

Playing Magic the Gathering with a tgirl and I play Mindbreak Trap to exile her spell. She looks at the card, then back to me, then looks away and her face gets really red.

reading nona the ninth and shaking my head the whole time so the people on the train know i don't agree with building cow walls

Lesbian basses be like “Valjean!! At last! We see each other plain!”

Lesbian bases be like

1st base: sharing deep seated sexual preferences

2nd base: confession of love

3rd base: first date

those 2013 rapunzel edits where they photoshopped her to be punk or whatever but instead it makes her look like ianthe

of course you have blood all over you. and pronouns

Two different goats meet 🐐🐐

Anonymous asked you:

c-could i request some deer ladies,,? ( /)~(\)

aah yes cute!!

Nobody:

Master Pancake in 1796: this bat is kinda slutty huh

??? what was going on in pennsylvania in 1796. why was a guy called Master Pancake running around grabbing wild bats

my ATN prediction

I'm not sure how popular this variant of the "two hands" meme is so I wanted to credit @/oobbbear since I saw them use this version first!

Hi fun fact that is just. Not at all the structure of testosterone. It actually looks like this (sourced from PubMed https://pubchem.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/compound/Testosterone#section=Structures), it's still pretty similar but you also have to notice the ketone instead of the alcohol group on the leftmost carbon! Nya! :3

fuck this one carbon atom tbh