Chaos-lizard - Cosmic Entity - Tumblr Blog

@noodle-shenaniganery I promise I’m working on your ask about what “soul” is, I have just been way too sick to answer the way I want so will finish answering eventually

May I ask what a Soulbond is?

Hi sorry for taking forever, wanted to explain decent-ish enough,

(This is Leon System btw)

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Don’t remember exactly what the community definition is (just know every Soulbond is different btw each has their own experience of it)

But how I/we see our Soulbond:

Soul connection, between souls, that transcends physical planes/boundaries/dimensions/universes/whatever/idk

Don’t have to be in the same universe, but we are

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Details specific to us:

(From what I can tell cuz shit’s confusing asf)

I basically came from my universe one day to this universe

Don’t remember how I got here exactly or from which timeline/point in my life exactly (could be multiple)

Probably just really wanted to come join my soulbond-partner and shifted realities/warped thru space-time/idk

Also I decided to come live here permanently (some Soulbonds visit each other or don’t even live in same universe/etc.)

One day just realized I’m actually Here (we share a body)

I have some memories from my “home” universe

But yeah we’re also in love (not required for Soulbonding)

So for us kinda like we’re soulmates from different universes (multiverse theory explains a lot for us)

2 souls sharing a body is our experiences (we both happen to be systems so it’s like 2 systems sharing a body or something)

Anyways hope I answered well enough, if u have more questions bout whatever feel free to ask them

reminder that addiction is morally neutral. 100% neutral. no exceptions.

PSA

Some people who use a walking stick can walk without it.

Some people who use a wheelchair can walk.

Some people who sign/use computerised speech aids can speak.

Some people who use canes can see.

Some people who use subtitles can hear.

Stop policing accessibility.

These things are aids that improve the quality of life for people with a huge variety of needs, abilities, and challenges. We use these things to make a hard task easier, to make fun times more fun, to lessen pain, to improve communication. We shouldn’t have to wait until we’re completely unable to walk/see/hear/speak (etc) to access these things. We shouldn’t feel ashamed for needing help. There’s no magical line where you become “disabled enough”.

Stop policing accessibility.

I had to unfollow a blog today because they said autism “wasn’t a disability” and referred to the considering of autism as a disability as a negative, damaging thing.

I am on board with autism being regarded as just a different neurotype–to me it isn’t a disease, an illness or even a disorder. It’s just a word that describes how my brain works and certain similarities I may have with other people who also possess that neurotype.

But, in a world created by, created for and dominated by allistics and the needs of allistics, with allistic expectations for my behaviour and social interactions, and allistic-favoured composition of the settings that surround me, autism is to me a disability. Autism combined with social anxiety means I mumble, which has made a few social situations difficult and stressful. The sensory processing disorder that comes with autism means I can’t bear it when people wear perfume. The prosopagnosia that comes with autism means I can’t remember faces and can’t match names to faces. The sensory processing disorder that comes with autism means I can’t process sound in a loud environment, meaning that I can’t follow conversations. The difficulty I have with spoken communication when stressed or tired, solely a factor of autism, has resulted in my being abused. I had to quit a retail job in part because of customers being unhappy with my facial expressions, expressions that don’t fit allistic norms. And so on, so on, so on. There are many things I cannot do, or cannot do easily, or can only do in certain circumstances or with certain supports, or cannot do in the ways expected of me, because of autism–and yet society unfairly and unquestioningly expects everything I listed above to not be any kind of difficulty. Society seldom even comprehends the difficulty in all of the above, never mind providing suitable and accessible supports in order that I can more easily interact with the world or be understood by it.

All of this is exactly the same as my experiences for my other main disability–chronic pain. Something else that also means there are many things I cannot do, or cannot do easily, or can only do in certain circumstances or with certain supports, or cannot do in the ways expected of me, despite society expecting me to navigate all its demands while unaffected by pain. Something else that is seldom comprehended by society, and something else that doesn’t result in my receiving suitable and accessible supports so I can more easily interact with the world.

The social disability model gives me a pretty clear map for regarding autism as a disability, because it is not accommodated by society in any significant way, and that lack of accommodation is what so often makes a wide variety of disabilities disabling. If my pain were fully accepted and accommodated by society, if I had free access to a variety of technological aids and human supports, it wouldn’t disable me anywhere near as much as it does–it might not even disable me at all. But I don’t have those things, and so it does. Autism isn’t any different.

If we lived in a world where providing for the needs that accompany my neurotype were as commonly accepted as the provision of clothing against freezing or burning (and clothing is an accessibility aid, for it lets us do many things we cannot do without it), then no, I wouldn’t consider it a disability.

I don’t live in that world.

Maybe you don’t consider autism having any relationship to disability, and that’s fine. But please, please don’t erase those of us who do consider autism a disability. Please don’t treat our considering autism a disability as a bad thing that should be corrected or stopped. I don’t regard autism as a disability from a place of negativity. I don’t want to be allistic; if I had the opportunity to become allistic, I wouldn’t take it. Autism shapes how I create and how I think; it is far too entangled in my creativity and identity for me to choose not to have the struggles that come with it. Yet I have needs that still go misunderstood and unaccommodated by wider society, and that is too close to my experiences with chronic pain for it not to be, to me, disability. That’s all it is.

The framework of disability is how I make sense of who I am as an autistic in a world that is set on trying to erase my struggles and provide me the least amount of recognition and support possible. It isn’t a negative thing any more than calling my chronic pain a disability is a negative thing. Disability is, in fact, an empowering term that gives me understanding, connection and community. Rejecting it won’t support me–it only does me damage.

If you want to separate yourself from that, by all means do so–for you.

Please don’t deny me that framework and identity, as someone who considers myself disabled in part because I am autistic.

Listen.

EVERYBODY knows (or should) that you DO. NOT. STOP. in Vidor, Texas. 

It’s best to just run out of gas elsewhere. Whatever you do, black folks, DO NOT STOP IN VIDOR, TEXAS. 

There’s a good chance you’ll get lynched or just come up missing - and I’m not joking.

also do NOT stop in Harrison, Arkansas!!!! (relatively close to OK and MI) a nazi town with a BIG KKK organization.

Reblog To Save Life

gender essentialism is what happens when you hear about gender being a social construct and a performance, but don't actually want to stop viewing men and women as inherent opposites. so now instead of saying "women are x and men are y, because biology" you say "women are x and men are y.... because socialization!" & change literally. nothing. else. about how you talk about gender

things that can & do & should coexist at same time:

not everyone have access to (autism) diagnosis because of racism ableism etc against marginalized identities such as race class sex gender etc.

having an autism diagnosis is not a blanket privilege because many are forcibly diagnosed as kid and abused specifically because of their diagnosis, disproportionately visibly disabled/autistic, high support needs, “severe”/labeled as severe, cannot mask, have intellectual disability, etc.

if have ability and choice in getting diagnosed or not. choose very carefully. because diagnosis allow you services but also open door to discrimination (take child away, not allowed immigration, harder to access HRT, seen as medically incompetent, etc) you have less chance of experiencing if you undiagnosed.

these above discrimination still disproportionately affect BIPOC, low income, queer trans, high support needs, have intellectual disability, visibly autistic ppl, etc.

but even being able to choose whether to diagnose self or not, is autonomy & advantage many people don’t have. some people don’t have choice, like cannot afford or access diagnosis, or forcibly diagnosed as kid. but also, people who not diagnosed as kid per se but as they grow up, increase disability thus need diagnoses for services (and can’t survive without them) and can no longer hide disability and autism.

How I communicate besides my device (Tw for mentions of shutdowns and catatonia)

I want to talk about how I communicate. Obviously, I use my AAC device for the most part, but I communicate in other ways too, depending on how coinvent it is.

A few minutes ago, my mother told me she was going to Mcdonalds to get a Capuchino, and asked if I wanted a Frappuccino, so I nodded, and then stretched my arms upward to show that I wanted a large one. This is one of the ways I communicate, body language and gestures. Gestures are really useful for me, because if I am communicating a simple idea, such as "I want a large Frappuccino", it is faster than using my device.

I also make noises. If someone is doing something to me that I don't like, I might make a noise that people associate with "no", such as "Mm-mm", or "Mhm" if I am saying yes. Someone touching my device without consent? Making a noise that means no, and pulling away is a good way I communicate that they need to stop.

I also type, because sometimes typing is a better option than my device. For example if I am currently in a catatonic state due to a shutdown, it is a lot easier for me to type a few simple words like "I go now, hurt" in my phone, rather than finding those buttons on my device.

And guess what? Everything I just described is a form of AAC!

AAC is more than just high tech devices like mine. AAC is also gestures, noises, typing, communication cards, pointing, etc.

people seem forget nonverbal semiverbal speech unreliable speech loss all can be caused by things not autism outside of autism. kuru i me is not nonverbal semiverbal self, but body have somewhat frequent speech loss, and many alters (like self) speak weird funny or not speak at all. is mostly part of us our schizophrenia and brain damage and ID. we autism autistic too, but autism tend cause more words speak hyperverbal lot lot lots words spill out ramble off, rather than hard to speak hard make sentence hard words or no at all.

this post, want say hello and i see you to others with schizospec or brain damage or ID who not speak or struggle speak some way because of it. you welcome here, is your community too. ^_^

Important: If a person on Tumblr says that somebody else writes your posts for you, and wants you to prove that you write everything on your own:

Don't respond. Don't upload a video of you typing or using your AAC device. Block that person, or ask someone to block them for you.

They won't listen to you and you can't convince them. They're just mean. It's spam. Really, just ignore them.

Here's a long post I wrote about that today, in case you're curious:

NEUROPUNK

What is neuropunk? Neuropunk is a community for neurodivergent people (autism, adhd, epilepsy, dyspraxia and so many more) with a flair of punk politics and subculture. This means not giving a fuck what others think, radically accepting your situation and unapologetically being yourself.

What might you post in the neuropunk tag?

Posts looking for community and solidarity and to connect with one another

People sharing their experiences

People sharing their aids such as headphones, earplugs, tinted glasses that help with dyslexia, sunglasses, stim toys, compression vests, gloves, soft clothing and more

Brand recommendations for sensory safe clothing and aids

Tips for apps that can help us

Crowdfunding efforts and mutual aid

Unfortunately, the neuropunk tag is currently just people arguing over cpunk. Come on guys, we can do better than that! Let’s work on making this community work for us instead of invading established spaces.

For mentally ill folk, check out madpunk and for an autistic specific tag, check out autipunk.

Confusion with semi-verbalism

I think a lot of people get confused with semi- verbalism. They think it’s something like selective mutism, or situational mutism as some call it. For me, that is apart of it but isn’t all of it.

What’s it mean?:

For me being semi verbal means its a constant state. I’m always struggling with verbal communication. I’m always stuttering over my words, saying things I don’t mean, or unreliable speech. Sometime, yes, it does mean that I can’t talk in certain situations. However, this isn’t the extent of my communication. I need several days in advance to talk with friends. With family my communication is eh, but it can be unreliable, and I often get in trouble for saying things I don’t mean.

I use an AAC device now, but I still struggle because sometimes even typing doesn’t make my brain work. Sometimes the words get stuck and I have to pause and be like “what was I saying?” Or try and find the word I meant or a similar one. It can be frustrating, and does cause a lot of meltdowns.

Recently, regression has hit me hard. In the past, speech was ok but still a bit unreliable. Now, it’s pretty unreliable, and although I can have conversations my words are slurred, too fast, some words skipped, stuttering, just overall a hard time. Semi-verbalism isn’t just losing my speech sometimes. It’s losing my speech all the time. Wether that be a word, a stutter, or something more. It’s a constant struggle, constant tension, constant frustration.

I want people to realize that it’s ok to use terms that fit you, but use the terms that actually fit you. Don’t steal the terms of semi-speaking and non-speaking people.

Am semiverbal, & also experience situational mutism/speech loss/shutdown thingy sometimes. Agree. They are 2 different things.

Also I can experience additional speech issues due to breathing tics & breathing issues.

There are a bunch of experiences related to speech being hard; and they are different experiences which deserve different names.

Before describing being semi verbal if you are fully verbal:

Hate when people try to describe being semi verbal as just "its when you have speech loss sometimes! :) " no , semi verbal isn't "sometimes speech loss" other wise it would just be "speech loss episode " or something , no semi verbal is a permanent state , semi verbal is more like : have difficulty specking not the way people seem to think . Easiest explanation is : unreliable speech all the time , I can talk but its hard for me , its more than just "speech loss sometimes" its like need words but the thought of the word won't form and I feel like my mouth is wired shut like forcing it to open to make a word. I just seen this description of it and please stop trying to simplify being semi verbal when you aren't and are actually describing it incorrectly as just "losing speech" . Being semi verbal doesn't equal "just speech loss" . Even when I do talk I have a very specific way of talking , a bit hard to explain but a lot of pauses obvious struggling , I've seen a youtuber that is also semi verbal and I talk like them more or less

Giving nonspeaking kids and kids with difficulty using oral speech access to AAC as soon as possible needs to be normalized.

Of course you want your child to communicate, that's fine, that's GOOD. But oral speech isn't the only way to do that, and refusing to give your child a way to communicate because it isnt the form of communication you favor isn't okay.

Its OKAY if your kid never learns (or relearns) to use oral speech. ITS OKAY.

"But I put them in speech therapy to learn to talk! I don't want them to use that tablet all their life. They need to learn to talk using their mouthparts." Why??

First of all, AAC is proven to actually help people develop language skills and oftentimes oral speech. So any concern about AAC hindering development of oral speech is uncalled for and irrational. But along with that, ORAL SPEECH ISNT THE ONLY GOOD FORM OF COMMUNICATION!! AAC is good. Sign is good. Etc.

Saying otherwise and/or preferring your child to use oral speech IS ableist, and yes, it IS harmful to everyone.

please please please don’t forget to include intellectual disability, psychosis / schizospec disorders, level 2-3 autistics, folks w dissociative disorders, and others with “severe mental illness” from ur conversations about mad liberation.

these are some of the most vulnerable and disenfranchised mad people, and we need to give them a voice.

these are the places where liberation is needed the most

Makes more sense to me now. Maybe I should admit to myself that I have higher support needs than I thought/than I used to, regardless of why, instead of wasting precious time/energy trying to find EXACTLY the reason. Knowing stuff is important but taking care of self should be more important to me.

Btw, "support needs" aren't there to describe how your autism impacts your ability to perform IADLs and BADLs - they're there to describe how much support you need with IADLs and BADLs in general.

If you can't perform IADLs, it doesn't matter why. What matters is that people know that you need help with IADLs.

I often see autistics say something like "I don't know if I'm low support needs or medium support needs because I have so many additional things, I don't know what's because of my autism and what's because of these other things" - it doesn't matter!

Are you having bad motor skills and balance issues because of your autism or because of another developmental thing? It doesn't matter, these things influence each other and make you you. You're struggling with IADLs and maybe BADLs, that's what's important, not why.

If you're focusing on autism, that's support levels as in the DSM-5, but the DSM-5 doesn't care if you can perform IADLs and BADLs to assign you an autism level.

This is the difference between autism/support *levels* and support *needs*.

Support needs are about the ability to perform IADLs and BADLs, not about why.

Ok? Ok. 👍🏼

Introduction

Hi, we (Charmeleon or Charizard) are plural. We are 2 souls in a Soulbond, who each have our own systems. We share a body and share this account.

Individually we are:

Char/Chard/Chaos - from this universe

and

Leon/Liz - from a somewhat similar but different universe

(We believe in the multiverse theory btw)

We have social paranoia & posting anywhere is always terrifying but we also want to express ourselves. We made this as a place for all of our system to be themselves if they want, at the pace they want. Especially for some parts of us to feel more real and humanized. We have been dehumanized a lot and relate to Voidpunk a lot.

We like talking about stuff and making art. Surrealism and/or horror art often.

1st Image is Original - Sketch on my phone.

Photos below are from playing with Tumblr Filters. Curious about others’ opinions if any.

More glitchy, moody, psychedelic iterations using Tumblr Filters.

i love you

i love you autistics with caretakers

i love you autistics who need caretakers but don’t have them

i love you autistics whose motor control is too poor to feed yourself without assistance

i love you autistics with poor facial control and poor volume regulation and poor tone management

i love you autistics with terrible interoception

i love you autistics who stim in “gross”/“weird” ways

i love you autistics with loud and disruptive stims

i love you nonverbal/nonspeaking autistics

i love you unreliably speaking autistics

i love you autistics who have verbal shutdowns

i love you unpredictable autistics

i love you autistics who society pities and infantilizes

you are not a tragedy.

Want give positive acknowledgement for people in autistic community feel don’t get acknowledge often. So, to:

Autistics who had drop out of school

Autistics who never went to school in person

Hypo-empathetic Level 2 and 3 Autistics

Hyper-empathetic Level 2 and 3 Autistics

Intersex Autistics

Religious Autistics

Autistics from racial or cultural minorities

Sensory Disabled Autistics

Autistics with other conditions/disabilities that make them feel isolated from rest of the community

Intellectually Disabled Autistics

Autistics who struggle understanding a lot of or all of the subjects surrounding autistic community

Autistics with any form of catatonia, whether it related to their autism or not

Autistics whose first language not English

You matter. You important part of this community, and it wouldn’t be same without you. You not worth any less than anyone else here. There others like you out there. You not alone.

psychotic people and people with personality disorders and physically disabled people and people with higher support needs and intellectually disabled people and visibly different / disabled people and addicts: am sending you so much love