Been On Motorcycle Tiktok Thinking About These Two F-ing Around On Their Motorcycles

Been on motorcycle tiktok… thinking about these two f-ing around on their motorcycles…

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Duke: There’s a cop

Jason: Just drive away it’s fine

Duke: No s*** I’m already on the other side of the city

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Bruce: We’re on the same side of the police, even if they’re corrupt we’re all for justice

Duke, a Robin during the Robin War, a motorcyclist, and a black teenager: Uh huh. Of course

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Dick: There’s a motorcyclist going 200 in Crime Alley

Jason: Damn, that’s me

Dick: Sick, do a wheelie

jason: i think we should get a divorce

steph: what are you doing?

jason: just practicing

steph: why are you already planning your hypothetical divorce?

jason: i don't know. i'm getting old, i think i'm having a mid-life crisis

steph: you don't even have a girlfriend

jason: hypothetically divorce me

steph: okay, then i'm hypothetically taking half your assets

jason: well, you didn't sign the hypothetical prenup

jason, to duke: it's called a prenup, right?

duke: yeah, it's a prenup, and you DID hypothetically sign one

steph: who the fuck is this guy?

duke: i'm his hypothetical lawyer in this divorce case

steph: well, then, i'm taking the hypothetical kids

steph, to tim: right? we can get those, right?

tim: yes, we can definitely get the hypothetical kids, don't worry about it

jason: who the fuck is this hypothetical fucking idiot? a hella fucking nerd idiot

tim: wow, that is a lot of hypothetical insults. i need to keep these on for continuity because i look like the other lawyer

steph: this is MY hypothetical lawyer, and we have been hypothetically sleeping with each other

jason: how could you hypothetically do this to me?!

steph: because you hypothetically are an alcoholic!

I'm pretty sure Duke can turn invisible? (Idk if out of suit or not but canon can kiss my ass)

Duke Turing invisible when he's getting lectured by bruce

Bruce: giving Duke a lecture about not calling backup for something that happend on daytime shift

Duke: *point behind Bruce* WTF IS THAT?

Bruce: *turns around to look at what duke's pointing at then turning back because it's just a white wall* Duke wha- ... FUCK-

Duke: *blinking white outline of where he was just standing*

Duke: *also watching Bruce look around the whole manor and gardens to find out where Duke went while struggling to not laugh*

thinking about the expert masseuse Alfred hired for the family that is paid a small fortune annually to provide massage services and ignore so, so many things. No questions, no remarks, just quality service and an ironclad NDA that, if broken, would probably topple said masseuse’s entire family line.

Things Alfred is paying them to ignore, in no specific order:

Bruce’s spinal hardware courtesy of Bane :)

weird amounts of muscle on everyone, even the kids (despite them allegedly not working physical jobs)

scars

FRESH scars

the fact that every joint in Bruce’s body clicks when moved/manipulated at the tender age of 42

Olympic athlete level physiques

rotator cuff injuries across the whole family

scars that are definitely from bullets and/or acid splashes

old signs of what looks like torture (Bruce)

Dick’s entire left arm is basically screws and plates (he “fell really bad” once)

every single family member takes deep tissue massage with max pressure with 0 complaints

calluses

no really, the weirdest fucking calluses

Hes not in it guys…

(based on this)