There's The Urban Legend That Some Japanese Companies Will Hire A "loud American." A Person Who Is Just

There's the urban legend that some japanese companies will hire a "loud American." A person who is just there to voice complaints to the boss when others cant.

I had an idea today that alien ships might hire "The Human!" A person who is just there to just stand there and looks like the be the big, tough, indestructible threat of a being that the galaxy knows humans are.

Doesnt matter who the human is. Big or small, male or female, a tough soldier or more gentle than a newborn. They just have to be present and let the reputation of humans speak for itself.

Is the captain trying to enforce an unpopular regulation on the crew? Ask The Human to have a private meeting and voice the complaints.

Trying to sell some goods but the buyer wants to renegotiate the price to be more unfair to you? Ask The Human to be there at the negotiating table.

That jerk at the bar keeps pestering you with their mating display, because they want to be the one to fertilize your eggs wont take no for an answer? Ask The Human to escort you back to your quarters.

Not sure if the neighborhood where you're making the delivery is a safe one? Just ask that lovely human if they wouldnt mind putting down their crochet and coming with you. They might be extra thrilled if you mention they could take their pet with them, for a walk.

Humans are weird: Expect the unexpected

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps) Alien talk show host: So you doubt my powers?

Human: I do.

Alien Host: You know that the theme of this show is bringing on people such as yourself and proving that I can in fact predict the future.

Human: I have watched your show and I’ve seen how you use your scam to convince people that you can predict the future.

Audience: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Alien Host: If it has been proven right so many times how can you still claim it is a scam?

Human: Because you have never had a human on your show until now to disprove it.

Alien Host: Bold words but we’ll give you a shot.

Alien Host: What have you got in store for me to disprove my abilities?

Human: *reaches into pocket and pulls something out*

Human: I’m going to flip this coin and you will tell me which side it lands on.

Alien Host: That’s it?

Alien Host: That’s your grand plan to disprove my skills?

Human: Half of it.

Human: You find out the other half after I flip the coin.

Alien Host: Ominous; I always liked that about you humans.

Alien Host: Very well, flip that coin and I predict it will be heads!

Human: *Flips coin*

Alien Host: *Watches coin spin upwards*

Human: *Pulls out gun from jacket and pulls the trigger*

*Gunshot goes across the table and hits the alien host in the arm*

*Audience begins screaming as human sets the gun down on the table*

Human: You can all relax, that was the second part of my plan.

Alien Host: WHY DID YOU SHOOT ME!?!?!!?

Human: *Calmly* Why did you not see the bullet coming?

Alien Host: You said you were using the coin toss!!

Human: I said it was the first part and that you’d find out the other half during the flip.

Human: If you can see into the future why did you not dodge the bullet or attempt to stop me from pulling a gun and shooting you?

Alien Host: Who could predict such madness!?!?!?

Human: Exactly.

Human: You can “predict” the future as you call it because you are a master of probability, not a fortune teller.

Human: That’s why you were so confident you could accurately predict how the coin would land and claim you saw it in the future.

Human: But no one could predict a random act of violence without any forewarning signs given.

Alien Host: You did all of this just to prove me wrong!?!

Human: I mean, isn’t that the point of the show?

Final part where theyre finally out of the forest and everything is fine! 😁

Part: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

Cale Henituse [LCF] + wolf pupy tweets (insp)

Chapter 423.