Im Here For You

i’m here for you

[3:00 am]

hey i know you’re not doing well. i know you are struggling with life and you feel like a failure. but you know i’m here for you, right? i’m here to stay and make you feel better. but you need to realize that you need to put yourself first. if your parents are forcing you to do this and that, ignore them. do what makes you happy. we only live once. i want to see you happy. i want to see you achieving all your dreams. no matter how small they are, i’m sure you can make them true. and i’ll be there with you. just trust me and trust yourself. ignore the people that call you names or hurt you. yes you can’t escape from the pain. but if you can work through it, there is nothing that can stop you. not even i could stop you from being happy. so go, go do what you want to do and don’t look back! oh and remember that i love you <3

delivered

love, pt. 3

01. 02. 03.

DEAR Y/N,

― I had no idea you could be so cruel. Tell me, what was the point of sending him here to see me. Did you think that a few wounds would change my mind? I’m not insane love. I caught what you were trying to do.

He beat me up and yelled at me. He yelled about the two of you getting married and that I needed to stop with the letters. That you were tired of me and you wanted me out of your life. That those stupid letters were driving both of you sick. 

But you know what I find funny about this situation. How you still read my letters. Trust me, I know you will read this one too. Taehyung, I think that’s his name, your friend sent me a text telling me that you missed me. But you didn’t have the courage to come find me. You still love me, yet you are doing everything you can to keep me away.

Unfortunately, I’m tired of this game we’re playing. If you don’t have it in you to forgive me, then there’s no hope. I left her by the way. I left her because I wanted to be with you. You should do the same. 

But not for me, for yourself. Maybe I did cross the line with my letters, but I was dying in the inside. I cried myself to sleep every night I was with someone else. All I wanted was you and look at how you treat me. 

I’ll keep myself at a distance from you now. But I can’t say I’ll wait forever y/n.

Who knows, maybe one day I will love someone else.

SINCERELY,

Jungkook

notes. and this is how it finally ends. i wanted the ending to be more tragic or sad, but i didn’t want the ending to be painful for jungkook only. in the end, you can decide how this really ends. with jungkook and y/n together or apart forever. anyway, take care everyone and thanks for reading my first series of drabbles. bye.

JUNGKOOK FOR CALVIN KLEIN

I have so much I want to write but I don't know where to start. A part of me just wants to release all the teasers for my fics. The other part of me wants to finish what I have started. Why is it so difficult to just sit down and write?

home is where the heart is, pt. 1

genre. fantasy au. angst. fluff. 

summary. jungkook loves and loathes the sea. especially when it brings him to a place far away from home. he wants to save himself, but he knows only one person can save him.

warnings. minor character deaths. descriptions of grief. explicit language. 

note. here goes to a new drabble series. i’m excited but also very nervous. i don’t write fantasy because i’m not very good at it. but i’m giving it a try because i’m fascinated with stories about sirens and such. i hope you enjoy <3 

The sound of a female voice agitates the poor boy lying on the sand staring over at the many stars he could see adorning the night sky. The whispers of his name continuously send him to the edge of a precipice. He wishes to succumb to the feeling of her gentle and tender way of calling him over to the sea. Death calls for a sweet kiss.

His life is still as he ponders if he will ever find a way back home to his lover. Doubts scar him more deeply when he sits up and looks at the sea. There where the waves crash, there where he thinks he sees her face.

A welcoming smile and he feels weak in the knees. Death’s voice mixes with her own voice and he stands in a hurry. Eyes with tears glare at him beckoning him to walk further away from the sea. For she knows that if he meets the sweet embrace of the water, not one heartbeat of his will be heard ever again.

Shut eyes and he sees their memories play out like a story. A story that he believes may never come to an end. Only when he feels her again will he know with certainty that she is well. May it be that she has found someone to confide in. A light in the middle of the darkness that surrounds her every memory of his.

A few months had gone by. He remembers it all too well. The day all fishermen of the town gathered near the port with beaming smiles. The sky had cleared from the clouds that once met when the storm had begun. The warmth of the sun allured the men and they were sure in their hearts that they could sail safely again.

Jungkook was never meant to be there, but the young boy was too stubborn to listen to his mother when she begged him to stay. “You’re not like your father my boy. You will be nothing like him. The world’s too big for you to follow him.” These words only motivated his need to sail the seas in the company of his father, even if it was only through his ghost.

When he was about to leave, he caught a glimpse of a familiar girl in a white dress. Her hair fell over her shoulders and her cheeks were painted a pretty pink he’d only seen once. A moment when he confessed in the early days of spring that he loved her. He recalled the tears that flowed out of her eyes and the love he showed her after.

She stood away from him, afraid that if she touched him, it would be the last time.

“Oh look who came to bid me farewell.”

He felt serene when she was around. If she was there with him, his fears found no way to hurt him. Though he grew to fear losing her and that alone killed him. But if he was met with her tears, that was something else. It was hard to explain the overwhelming ache he felt when he saw her cry. Sobs that came from the pain within her heart.

He knew she was afraid, oh so afraid to lose him. In a way, he felt blessed that such a lovely person would miss him on the other side. “I’m not going to die if that’s what you’re worried about y/n. When my father sailed the sea, a storm was already approaching. Look at the sky, my love.”

She cried more quietly as she stared down at her feet. If she looked at the sky or at the boy she loved, she would fall apart. Sometimes she wondered why he was so full of life. Why his eyes would show a glimmer she’d never seen from anyone else? When his father parted from him, he spent days staring at the sea.

Jungkook had a complicated relationship with the ocean. His father had taught him everything he needed to know about fishing and the sea creatures he encountered when he left home. His father was always away. Once when he couldn’t find it in him to fall asleep, he left the comfort of his bed to find his mother.

“Oh dear, you scared me. What is a little boy doing awake at this hour?”

His doe eyes met his mother’s face and without thinking, he exclaimed, “I hate the sea! I hate it!”

A fond smile. That was the only thing his mother could give him because deep within her own heart, she also hated the sea. But not for the reasons her little baby did. No. She simply despised how much her own lover cared for it. Even more than his family.

maple syrup

note. i listened to maple syrup by the backseat lovers and this came to mind.

Those who dwell too much on their pain don’t make it out alive. They drown and drown in a pool of misery. 

When one allows misery to consume them, it’s pretty much over for them. Hope is the last straw. But I pulled too much on the thread. I doubt there is any hope left.

I keep myself seated out of fear that you might see me. Your eyes wander around. I noticed that from the moment I came in. Crowds gather in front of the stage. Hungry eyes devouring each one of the dancers.

But my eyes are reserved only for you. Only for the woman I love most.

Last night I awoke from a nightmare. Picked up the phone, ready to call you. But the realization of what I had done came over me. Like rain that pours on the ground of the earth and sea.

The purple sweater I keep on that small chair. It looks at me like I’m a pathetic loser. I throw it away only to go back and keep it again. I can’t stop looking for you.

Even the memories are still clear. Still projecting in my head. Like a movie that’s 3 hours long but feels way too short. I pick at the memories and play each one. 

I can never savor those moments. Reminding me of all the shit I took for granted. No one is as much of an idiot as me. If that were the case, I wouldn’t be watching you from the very back.

No. I would be there right in front. 

Only I was too late to realize you were the one for me. 

I spoke to the wrong person. Allowed her to get in my head. Allowed her to place her filthy hands on me. To say I was blind is an understatement.

But you always had your arms open. I thought it would be the same. There was no way you would ever leave me. At least that’s what I allowed myself to believe.

I hurt you. I deserved the fall and the torture of it all. 

The night approaches and you’re almost leaving. I stay seated and watch as you pick your stuff up. Your eyes never meet mine. But I know you saw me. I know you saw me cry when I looked at you. 

In the arms of another. That was the last time I ever saw you.