Crazygrayzee - CrazyGrayzee - Tumblr Blog

WHAT DID YOU ALL DO TO DOUGLAS?! T-T

NOOOOO NOT DOUGLAS

Going to game night with friends and bruh (best friend) over the weekend

This definitely will be the thing that gets me out of this funk, i know it

Me but theres no car

He lost his car keys

Im making a proper post...

I keep trying to stay and leave so many times, and i have realised my problem as an artist and why i feel as though i am struggling so much with a slight inconvenience

Im not an artist anymore

I am burnt out and disgusted by my own pieces, yet i still felt the need to be online and post things no matter what i was going through

Constantly be there for the people i knew as an artist despite losing all interest in wanting to draw or chat

And that was making myself worse as a person

And feeling like i had to be there for my online friends all the time is also wrong

My art was meant as a way to connect me with someone who shared just as a wild as an imagination i had to start conversations

And for the longest time i had that

However im not that person anymore

As of this point forward, im not an artist

I dont have to be the reason someone smiles

I dont have to be on the internet just to connect to someone

With that said i may randomly repost

I may rarely pop back in to like things and leave

But i dont need to share the little world that makes me happy with anyone anymore

For those who can look at themselves in the mirror, for those who got their lives in check;

Good for you, i mean that genuinely, you guys are doing what a lot of us cant do

Dont make your path my path though

Im not in the same path as you that i can just suddenly be happy and finally give 2 sh!ts about myself

I dont want to hear that it's all in the way i think, and i can control my views on my own life with my mind

You know how hard that is for people who lost everything they loved?

Lost their sense of security? Their hope in humanity? The love for themselves?

What if they lost all that?

Your really just going to sit there and make it like my own mind did all this?

No

Be quiet

Listen and understand first before you put your beliefs on someone because i can tell you right now not everyone can just see the good things they have in life with dark glasses

Glasses that make it hard to see in the mirror without noticing every flaw of oneself

How about instead sheding light to what good things they do have instead?

"Hey you got great friends! Heck you have me!"

"Hey you got up today!"

"Hey, you're still here, and i appreciate this!"

Dont make it like the choices people make are all because they cant look at themselves in the mirror

Thats the equivalent of saying its their fault, you jerk!

Just help them find brighter glasses and even if they are still stubborn to take those glasses off theres a such thing as time

And everyones time runs far differently than others

Thank you

WHY IS HE GETTING SMOLER?!?! T^T

Im in the mood to eat scarabs and shrimp

I'm still questioning if i am ace at this point, but i can safely say i wont hesitate to punch anti ace people >: )

Trying to prove a point

REBLOG IF YOU THINK AROACE / aro/ ace PEOPLE ARE A VALID PART OF THE LGBTQ+ COMMUNITY , LIKE IF YOU DON’T

Damn... this one got the good stuff! BE FREAKIN LEVETATING

9:57

Well, this explains the computer and electrical crashes at work... : l

Vent art

I'm heading off tumblr for a bit, maybe a week, idk

I will say it again for those who are deciding to suddenly show back up in my life

IM.

HEALING.

That doesnt give you a right to start poking at me trying to shove yourself to be a friend of mine to get all nosey for the same person that right now im trying to move on from for the sake of my internal health!

Sincerely

A person just trying to keep some form of sanity

Thank you

Look at the amazing art i made for this ship! : D

Nothing worse than being obsessed with an ocs ship you haven't even properly written down yet

... currently being polished, but yeah... <:3

HEY FOR THOSE FOLLOWING @faeking-thorns-artblog

DIS MF HIDING PRIDE COMMISSIONS ON TH!!

THE AUDACITY!!

AND FOR ONE FREAKIN US DOLLAR!!!

Ych credit goes to thorn himself ofc uwû

ITS OFFICIAL!!

I dont like removing followers, but between dealing with the most toughest situation mentally in my life and random posts now popping up on my feed that disturbs the hell out me how their online in the first place

ANY AND ALL FOLLOWERS WHO FOLLOW ME WITHOUT A TITLE OR A PROFILE PIC IS GETTING BOOTED!!

I dont know what the algorithm is doing with yall as my followers, but im not accepting it anymore! Im even getting dms from people who break tumblr rules then go follow me like WHY?! YOU THINK IM INTERESTED IN NUDITY?! N O IM NOT YOU PERVERTS

AHEm- so with that said good bye some of my followers

I just realized i made this vent piece the same colors meant for the non binary flag

...

I mean its the only thing i understand about myself this year for pride so yay?

Happy non binary prides yall XD <3

When you settled your demons, listened to the most calming audio you could find and even took unorthodoxed methods to rest comfortably

Yet somehow, you're WIDE awake

...

I DONT UNDERSTAND THIS LOGIC

SOMEONE PLS EXPLAIN

Y o i n k

WEIRDLY SPECIFIC BUT HELPFUL CHARACTER BUILDING QUESTIONS

What’s the lie your character says most often?

How loosely or strictly do they use the word ‘friend’?

How often do they show their genuine emotions to others versus just the audience knowing?

What’s a hobby they used to have that they miss?

Can they cry on command? If so, what do they think about to make it happen?

What’s their favorite [insert anything] that they’ve never recommended to anyone before?

What would you (mun) yell in the middle of a crowd to find them? What would their best friend and/or romantic partner yell?

How loose is their use of the phrase ‘I love you’?

Do they give tough love or gentle love most often? Which do they prefer to receive?

What fact do they excitedly tell everyone about at every opportunity?

If someone was impersonating them, what would friends / family ask or do to tell the difference?

What’s something that makes them laugh every single time? Be specific!

When do they fake a smile? How often?

How do they put out a candle?

What’s the most obvious difference between their behavior at home, at work, at school, with friends, and when they’re alone?

What kinds of people do they have arguments with in their head?

What do they notice first in the mirror versus what most people first notice looking at them?

Who do they love truly, 100% unconditionally (if anyone)?

What would they do if stuck in a room with the person they’ve been avoiding?

Who do they like as a person but hate their work? Vice versa, whose work do they like but don’t like the person?

What common etiquette do they disagree with? Do they still follow it?

What simple activity that most people do / can do scares your character?

What do they feel guilty for that the other person(s) doesn’t / don’t even remember?

Did they take a cookie from the cookie jar? What kind of cookie was it?

What subject / topic do they know a lot about that’s completely useless to the direct plot?

How would they respond to being fired by a good boss?

What’s the worst gift they ever received? How did they respond?

What do they tell people they want? What do they actually want?

How do they respond when someone doesn’t believe them?

When they make a mistake and feel bad, does the guilt differ when it’s personal versus when it’s professional?

When do they feel the most guilt? How do they respond to it?

If they committed one petty crime / misdemeanor, what would it be? Why?

How do they greet someone they dislike / hate?

How do they greet someone they like / love?

What is the smallest, morally questionable choice they’ve made?

Who do they keep in their life for professional gain? Is it for malicious intent?

What’s a secret they haven’t told serious romantic partners and don’t plan to tell?

What hobby are they good at in private, but bad at in front of others? Why?

Would they rather be invited to an event to feel included or be excluded from an event if they were not genuinely wanted there?

How do they respond to a loose handshake? What goes through their head?

What phrases, pronunciations, or mannerisms did they pick up from someone / somewhere else?

If invited to a TED Talk, what topic would they present on? What would the title of their presentation be?

What do they commonly misinterpret because of their own upbringing / environment / biases? How do they respond when realizing the misunderstanding?

What language would be easiest for them to learn? Why?

What’s something unimportant / frivolous that they hate passionately?

Are they a listener or a talker? If they’re a listener, what makes them talk? If they’re a talker, what makes them listen?

Who have they forgotten about that remembers them very well?

Who would they say ‘yes’ to if invited to do something they abhorred / strongly didn’t want to do?

Would they eat something they find gross to be polite?

What belief / moral / personality trait do they stand by that you (mun) personally don’t agree with?

What’s a phrase they say a lot?

Do they act on their immediate emotions, or do they wait for the facts before acting?

Who would / do they believe without question?

What’s their instinct in a fight / flight / freeze / fawn situation?

What’s something they’re expected to enjoy based on their hobbies / profession that they actually dislike / hate?

If they’re scared, who do they want comfort from? Does this answer change depending on the type of fear?

What’s a simple daily activity / motion that they mess up often?

How many hobbies have they attempted to have over their lifetime? Is there a common theme?

So your telling me almost everything in this kit needed water and inspiring kid artists were just SUPPOSED TO KNOW THIS?!

SHAME

SHAME ON THEE FOR THINKING EVEN AS ADULTS WE WOULD HAVE KNOWN THIS!!

Ive been avoiding hitas for awhile now and hopefully pulling myself out of this nightmare these past few years have brought to me, between losing my sense of what family is and my sense of love, i have lost the light and soul within me. I tried staying around for my friends who were there supporting me and comforting me but i cannot stay anymore. scared to ask for help but then too afraid to take on the suggestions they offer me and ultimately draining their moods with mine, i refuse to stick around and bother them anymore.

For awhile now, im not exactly sure when, theres been this inner war in me constantly draining me out with this constant feeling like i dont belong and none of it is going to get better, constantly looping myself in hatred, grief, and other intense low moods i cant seem to break out of. Sadly I've already lost someone i deeply care about because of this war and pain, afraid to loose them and i ended up loosing them anyway and now gone for good and i no longer have any possible way to contact them. The words they said to me in anger sank deep and made me feel like ive done them wrong for the 4 years knowing them and being told i hurt them, that i truely should be alone and that i was cruel them without knowing this until last minute has really messed me up badly. and yet my heart still follows their direction even through this pain. I cant take it anymore.

I hate pain and i hate dealing with these overwhelming emotions feeling like a crying disaster after so many months of this cycle ive never dealt with before, between losing interest of things i usually enjoy and then struggling to find new interests i cannot upkeep a happy environment for anyone, including my family, my friends or even for myself. However i dont have a choice anymore but to sit through it and keep hoping every day this feeling goes away, so to save the people i care about from my own pain i have to isolate myself for awhile hopefully recollect myself and maybe wake up better. Just anything to wake me up from this nightmare, but i dont know when ill return and for all i know it will be years before i can properly return again. Im sorry

From now on I will focus on healing

And i wont make sense doing it but i dont care...

Im healing

"Ah nuggets man and here i thought i knew everything"

What is or isn’t a slur can be highly contextual, y'all.

“Jonny Sims bummed a fag off my ma” doesn’t contain a slur, but “What are you, some kind of fag?” does.

“Queer studies”, “the queer community” and “I’m queer”? Not a slur. Some bigot calling you a “dirty queer”? Slur.

“Be gay, do crimes” and “He’s gay” ≠ slur, but “Ew, that’s so gay” = slur.

In conclusion, stop buying into this fucking “q slur” bullshit. Queer people talking about the queer community aren’t using it as a slur any more than a gay man calling himself gay is using that term as a slur.

Found this fella in my files- despite mixed feelings behind one of em now i still kinda proud all the pieces

Like im kinda suprised about how i did the top left one! So many colored pens i used omg :0

And the details for top right~ mecha is not my strong suit butndamn did i do good thst day! XD

Shiii- despite the bottom right used to be a message to someone i cared about i cannot describe my love for the cute lil plannets hehe