Hefners Philosophy Admittedly Differed From The Mainstream Heterosexuality Of The 1950s But Only In The

“Hefner’s philosophy admittedly differed from the mainstream heterosexuality of the 1950s — but only in the sense that it was built to better privilege straight men. As Barbara Ehrenreich detailed in her book The Hearts of Men, before Playboy, bachelors were seen as losers who couldn’t get wives of their own. (They were also suspected of being gay, as the implications around the phrase “confirmed bachelor” still attest.) Hefner changed the public perception of single men, turning them into swinging (hetero) sex gods having adventures that poor henpecked married men could only dream of. This idea is still with us today — if you’ve ever seen an episode of Entourage or read a pick-up artist’s blog, you’ve reaped the benefits of Hefner’s work. But the change was never meant to make sex more fulfilling for women, or even queer men. Far from it. […] In the pre-Playboy variety of sexism, women were children who had to be taken care of and disciplined by their husbands. In the new, “radical” Playboy philosophy, women were sour, scolding mommies to be rebelled against or hot commodities to be acquired. This split between conservative misogyny and hip, “liberal” misogyny is still with us, and still expressed in much the same terms. But Hefner never challenged the sexism at the heart of the social order — he just wanted to remove any responsibility men might bear to the women they slept with, and make sure men’s experience of sex was consequence-free. His revolution re-arranged the surface, but left the underlying structure of patriarchy intact.”

— Don’t Glorify Hugh Hefner (via brutereason)

from Representations of Female Suicide by Drowning in Victorian Culture by Valerie Meessen

Nerdy conventions are not a place to publicly explore your freaky slave kinks! Y'all wanna say that bdsm is about consent but don’t give a shit about the consent of those who can’t be exposed to that shit?

I’d like to address the whole “bottom/top” BS I’m seeing in this fandom and other fandoms with m/m ships, as a gay man myself. And I’m going to do it in the only way I know how.

Here’s my husband and I. We’re the same in terms of body structure, and he’s only well-shaven because his job requires it, but he loves facial hair as much as I do. I love to cook and bake (I like making things that are pretty and taste good), and he loves to grill. I stay home with our child while he’s at work, and he takes care of our child in the mornings so I can sleep. We share the chores. He likes ripped jean jackets, and I like leather jackets and peacoats. We both like masculine and feminine jewelry. I cuss up a storm, and he only does so when he’s reached his limits. He likes high heels and nail polish, and I’ve once upon time worn skirts, dresses, and make up. We both burp, fart, scratch places we shouldn’t in public. We take turns spooning each other. I take care of the bills. We’re both fiercely protective.

Who’s top and who’s bottom?

Would it anger you if I told you differently than what you answered, and that you most likely sat there and determined based on heteronormative stereotypes? It doesn’t matter what we look like, or who we are – the bedroom is a different world. We don’t ascribe to the “who’s female and who’s male” mentality. Why does our level of masculinity or femininity determine our sex life? Why does it seem to determine the sex lives of m/m fictional couples? Hannibal Lecter being a bottom has nothing to do with him being an “alpha” male. It is not degrading for any man to be a bottom. ANY man. And the fact that so many people become enraged that someone writes a very masculine character as a bottom disgusts me. Men of all types like to bottom, and it’s mostly to due with pleasure. Shut the hell up and get over it. “But I prefer…” Listen. You can prefer certain kinks, you can prefer vanilla sex, you can prefer no penetration, or any sex of any kind (asexuals are awesome). But for god’s sake, stop fighting about tops and bottoms. It’s incredibly uncomfortable as a gay man to see these fights, and to feel such profound shame that people believe men like me or my husband would never ‘take it up the ass’ because of some stereotypical, heteronormative bullshit reasons. Read bottom Hannibal, don’t read bottom Hannibal. Don’t read top or bottom of whatever character. I don’t care. But just STOP looking at M/M relationships through hetero/cisgender goggles!

Why DID you make her eat poop? I'm not trying to call you out, I'm just curious what you were thinking and why you would want anyone to eat your poop.

I never made her. Everything was consensual. However she did not like this so we chose to go separate ways.