CLIP STUDIO PAINT

株式会社セルシス様よりご依頼で、制作の一部にCLIP STUDIO PAINTを使い描かせていただきました

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry for flipping out a few days ago, screaming and swearing and saying "f**k the world".

I'm just so tired of real life after having family members struggle for two-and-a-half years. My grandmother, a prisoner in her own body, treated like trash in a place that was supposed to help us take care of her. My grandfather, now a widow and succumbing to dementia with my family being forced to watch because he's physically healthy (sort of) but losing his memories in a slow burn.

And that family member being affected the most by it all; struggling with a disease, alcoholism, and turning into a shadow of their former self. They were the person I felt closest to and, after drinking, they become apathetic and just... they're "taking care" of themselves in the least healthy way. AND they're stubborn as hell and don't want to get ACTUAL help!

It doesn't help that I don't have my driver's license yet because, during the time I should have used more time to learn, but I was depressed as hell and scared to even leave the house at the time.

And now I'm trapped here. Every day. Do you know what it's like having chronic anxiety and almost never getting a day's break from them dealing with a disease so drastic and unpredictable?

Earlier this week they seemed to be willing to try, but I don't even know anymore because just a day or two later was hellish. They can't remember any of it, but I can. I remember it all, and they officially broke me AND THEY HAVEN'T EVEN SAID THEY'RE SORRY!

Funny how they always apologize for relapsing, but they have yet to even acknowledge that they put my other family member and I through hell. Even if they don't remember the details they KNOW they relapsed, so them not knowing is not an excuse.

Next week they and my other family member are going on vacation for a week and I can't tell you how much we all NEED a break from our shoddy "routine". I used to have the house to myself several days a week to unwind and practice voice acting and singing without worrying about someone walking in on me. Now I'm lucky if I can even get a single day of the week to myself for just a few hours.

Call me selfish if you want, but my family and I have given so much to them and get so little in return. I don't even know if they're on board with getting help anymore, and everything has become so obscure and painful that I've run out of hope. All I can do is keep myself buried in fantasy and worlds that actually make sense.

I appreciate (any) ALL comments, but what I wouldn't give to just be able to ramble about some story with someone and we just bounce off each other's ideas.

I probably need to actually SHOW some art of my own, though. That's a thing.

ik ik im supposed to be sleeping but!! im curious about something

Sun: C'mon! I just found this new coral reef to explore! It's SOOO BIG that I got lost in it!

Moon: THAT'S why you were gone for three days!?

Sun: YEAH~! :D

my merboys but smol

this is a poster i made for my call to action assignment in humanities! it's a bunch of basic and easy stretches for people who sit and work at a desk all day (me)

the idea is that you'd put the poster up above ur desk and do the stretches every 30 minutes or so,, the whole routine won't take more than about 6 minutes to complete and when done regularly it can prevent wrist, shoulder, neck and back pain! :)

all these stretches can be done while sitting (although i HIGHLY recommend you stand up and move around while taking a break from working)

you can get a free digital copy of this poster here on my gumroad!

WELL TODAY'S EPISODES OF SUN AND MOON AND MONTY AND FOXY WERE INTENSE.

No spoilers, but I hope The Invisible Davis is alright. The characters he voices were put through the FREAKING WRINGER.