If Todays Episode Of Bad Batch Doesnt Start Like This Im Throwing A Fit:

If todays episode of bad batch doesn’t start like this I’m throwing a fit:

Trying to avoid spoilers for fantasy high junior year is the hardest thing I think I’ve done like

YouTube: would you like to see a video of Brennan Lee Muligan yelling in a silly voice

Me, smoke billowing from my ears: The devil offering eve the apple had less power over her than your cruelty does me

“I thought this city didn’t have any gods.”

The pigeon grinned a beak full of dog’s teeth. “Ha. They say there aren’t. They even kept most of them out for a while.”

“How did you make it?”

“By being smart. By hiding.”

She gave the one-legged, feral feathered thing a sideways look. “As a pigeon?”

“Sometimes,” said the pigeon. “Sometimes I’m graffiti on a wall. Sometimes I’m a coin dropped in a beggar’s hand. I am neon at night, the rain in the light. I am the song the busker sings. I listen to the prayers of those who come to the city with big dreams.”

“And in return?”

It grinned again. Steam rolled off its feathers, smelling of cigarettes. “I eat their despair.”

“That’s cruel.”

It moved its wings in something like a shrug. “That’s the big city for you.”

I really think that if I see one more post about Junior Year I’m ending it because I’m not done with sophomore year.

Me: I can’t do this anymore please. I’m begging you, I would lay my back against hot coals for six miles, drag myself through broken glass, and swim a river of magma for you not to tempt me with the forbidden fruit of Junior Year spoilers.

Every social media I have:

I think if I ate Ozzy Osborne’s head on stage that would be pretty neat

trying to learn from and process my grief and anger in constructive ways and its like. i go to swing a big hammer at a gigantic hornets nest but i hesitate just long enough at the last second and accidentally end up making a wooden chair that i can sit on the front porch drinking sweet peach tea in. and im drinking the sweet tea and sitting down. but im mad about it