The Passing Of My Darling B

The Passing Of My Darling B

It was the call I was expecting, yet didn’t want. The hospital told me of the situation and to be quick.

When I stepped into the room I could not hold back my tears, I wept uncontrollably.

Within 24 hours her health had declined, no longer was she of colour and freshness – to which, for years, I’d become accustomed.

Instead she lay there pale and silent.

The ticking of the clock telling me time was fragile.

I wanted the nurse to tell her. ‘That I love her and will never forget her. Please, tell her that I came.’

But I couldn’t.

‘I will give you some time,’ said the nurse leaving.

 I stood by her bed and leant over, stroking her hair and kissing her forehead – her perfume resonating about my senses. I spread my arms and gave her a gentle hug as her breath grew weaker.

I sat and held her hand.

‘I love you, B.’

Her eyelids seemed to move as if she recognised my voice.

‘Yes, it’s me. I came yesterday but they would not let me see you. But today, yes, they called – and now I’m here.’

 Maybe I imagined it, that her hand squeezed mine. I took it to my lips and kissed it. Yet I felt the strength leave. Her hand suddenly becoming limp.

‘Don’t leave me,’ I cried. ‘I have so much love to give you, you can’t go. Yesterday I prayed – I prayed to God and all his angels. I know I’m not a christian, but It was worth a try. Anything is worth a try.’

I don’t know how long I sat there, but I stayed until her beautiful heart gave up.

Until her breath stilled.

I sat outside on a bench – a bench already stained by so many tears.

And cried.

Overwhelmed by grief, I sat unable to move.

 However much I thought and considered my  future without  My Darling B, the insurmounatable pain only grew.

Loss, the loss of hope, the emptiness of life, a home now silent.

Then I felt a breeze about my body consume me, I looked up at the leaves in the trees that rustled. There had been no sign of a breeze before just stagnant air.

Then, I realised that nature grieves. It had followed me, carried me - it knew my pain – and for that

It gave me a hug, a warm comforting hug, helping to dry my tears – tears that would not stop,

However much I tried.

Over The Rainbow Bridge We Go!