Its Really Hard Living With Disability And Surviving The Cruel Regime Of The United States. Im Tired

It’s really hard living with disability and surviving the cruel regime of the United States. I’m tired of resting. I’m tired of being an ambulatory cane user who’s looking into wheelchairs just to reclaim a better fidelity for mobility. I’m tired of having to grieve alone what COVID-19 took from me for three years now.

I was scared. I was alone in isolation. There were no ambulances or hospital beds. I reached a critical point of multi day high fever and drowning in my lung fluid that I was ready to die. I reached a point where my body gave it all and the lights faded out. I was scared to survive. I still feel this.

I hope these days spent resting will mean something, for I am not sure or optimistic. For now, I am scared and I am tired.

I am not broken. I have been wounded.

I am not damaged. I have been hurt.

I am not useless. I am making the best of my limited capacity.

I am not lazy. I need rest to heal.

I am not unreliable. I live an unpredictable life.

I am not irresponsible. I am relearning how to function.

"Do you have to make being queer your whole personality?"

Yes. It angers you. It causes you discomfort... it's payback for the discomfort you've caused me. Its reversing my trauma into my queerness and superblasting it into you just because it pisses you off!

Any profile with cop-worshipping themes or associates with such profiles always get the reported and blocked tap from here. Cops are terrorists who, in the United States, were formed institutionally as slave patrols and continue to uphold the rule of legal slavery through the criminal injustice system, prison labor, and legal slavery unto this day. Stop Cop City.

What’s disgusting is seeing queer—mainly gay male—erotic blogs that fetishize police in a dangerously fashy, right-wing way. Never worship the authorities that keep you down: be a Marsha and not a chuddy chad.

Watching the acab leave y'all's bodies when the dude in the thirst trap is a cop or role playing as a cop 🤨

Look, I know I’m AMAB and understanding what nonbinary means for me, and wow. It’s hot, baritone verbal men like @el-fuego01 who make me weak, wet, and wish to be impregnated by him. I love seeing a guy at this view, I love being overpowered and overwhelmed by such a brooding force that I just pass out in the middle of s*x. 🥵

To those of y’all who are burly, strong, able to put on a fight and filled with that sweet tea-stosterone, your cute lil’ cripple queers will back you up with our canes and chairs to worship you. I don’t speak for anyone but me. Let me worship you and heal your wounds while you defend us from hate. 😘🫶🔥